The Test: OMG! I have so many questions!
- Is it accurate?
- What should I do next?
- How do I tell the father? What are the best ways he can support me and vice versa?
- How do I prevent pregnancy problems?
- What can I eat and drink?
- What is really healthy for me and baby?
- Should I exercise? What kind of exercise is best?
- What products are toxic for me and baby?
- What supplements should I be taking?
- The list could go on…
Odds are these are just few of the questions that are running through your head. And that is only touching the surface of confusion, fear, excitement and all the other mixed emotions that you are feeling.
I want to say this loud and clear…YOU ARE NOT ALONE! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE EITHER!
Repeat after me…I CAN DO THIS! I AM STRONG!
But nothing was easy.
I am the result of an unplanned pregnancy with an absent father. In a nutshell, my mother and father were best friends but he did not believe her when she told him I was his. Yeah, he bailed.
To make matters more complicated, my mother was an addict. Mostly alcohol but drugs played a role too. I spent much of my childhood with my Nanaw, which honestly was God’s way of protecting me, though as a child I did not understand it. I watched my mom get physically abused… repeatedly by almost every relationship she had.
She wasn’t a bad woman. She had a heart of gold and was probably the funniest person I knew. She just had an addiction that controlled her life. She taught me to love Jesus and how to love others well and for that I am grateful. I eventually lost her to opioids when I was 20. She was 44 years young.
My 20s were full of bad choices, wrong turns, and regrets. My health plummeted, my relationship struggled and I came to a fork in the road. Ultimately, I made decisions to better my life. I graduated college and began teaching 1st grade. At age 24, I chose to spend my life with Mr. Right, my best decision ever, and knew we would one day like to grow our family. Just not too soon.
We spent a couple years in honeymoon bliss! I had switched to teaching 4th grade and loved all my students.
Then out of the blue…life changed.
Let me back up…I have never had a regular monthly cycle. In fact, I was put on birth control at age 17 to regulate my cycle. In my early 20s I decided taking a synthetic hormone long term was not for me and I stopped the pill. What a difference this made. I did not have a regular cycle anymore but I felt so much better physically and mentally. However, this came with its own set of issues.
I would never know when that time of the month would be or if it would even come. I could go several months without a cycle…I know AMAZING, right!! Except it would always show up at the most inopportune times…beach vacations, summer pool parties, lake parties, romantic get aways: You feel me? AHAAH! It could be so frustrating.
In the summer of 2009, Mr. Right and I started discussing the possibility of growing our family. No rush. We would wait at least a year.
“If you want to make God laugh tell him what your plan is!” We found this to be incredibly true.
I had my yearly exam that summer and discussed our plans with my OB. She put me on a prescription to jump start my cycle. We spent years thinking we may never have a child of our own. After all, I hadn’t been on birth control for many years and we did not have any surprises thus far.
Fast forward a month and the school year began. I went to work every day feeling nauseated and exceptionally tired. Seriously, I was throwing up in sacks on the way to work every morning. It was awful! Honest to God, I thought I was fighting a stomach bug. Naive, maybe. Ok. Yes. On my 4th day of whining, a co-worker friend of mine asked me, “Are you pregnant?’ I confidently and quickly responded with a loud, “NO!” She just smiled at me.
That entire day my anxiety grew. We wanted children but were we ready? We had discussed waiting a year. With my irregular cycles, I had feared being able to get pregnant at all. I could not possibly be pregnant now, could I?
That afternoon I picked up three pregnancy tests. When the first test turned positive faster than I could get off the toilet I nearly fell over. Still in shock and denial, I took the other two tests and received the same result in the same quick response. I had to lay down. I had all the feels, giddy yes but completely terrified.
And how was I supposed to tell Mr. Right?
I did not come up with some well thought out plan to break the news to him. In fact, my emotions were so high, I called him several times. Okay, maybe borderline-stalker-crazy number of times. With no avail…so not in my proudest moment, I took a picture of the tests and sent it to him via text.
Yep, I was in shock so he should be in shock too. Again not my best moment but we look back and laugh at it…now.
The next few weeks of waiting seemed to take forever. Waiting to get into the doctor to confirm we were pregnant. Waiting to tell our family and friends. I had all those questions and concerns too.
Life goes on as normal and meanwhile I was overwhelmed and terrified about everything. Did all those cocktails harm my baby? What about all the sushi I had been eating? And I love a glass of wine! What’s a girl to do? God just handed me this blessing, had I already messed up?
Our story is full of life changes, but also a lot of happiness. Both our girls were born happy and healthy but both pregnancies were an adventure.
Believe me when I tell you, whether you choose to get pregnant or not you will never fully be prepared for this new chapter of life. It is full of joy, laughter, fatigue (oh the fatigue), tears but mostly awe of being so needed by someone so helpless.
So I’m going to share my knowledge, experiences and expertise hoping I can help you enjoy your pregnancy journey. Because a wise person once said to me, “You never know what you believe in, until you have kids.”
Let’s enjoy your journey and its ultimate reward!