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#1
11-03-2009, 06:23 PM
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Legal Separation??
Anyone know how I go about doing this and about what the cost is?? Can I file for custody/child support with this??? I'm going to spare details right now cause I ahve had the worst few days of my life....long story short, my husband decided he isn't happy anymore after meeting some girl at a gas station and dating her for 3 weeks (and yeah she knew about me and the kids!!) I 'm not sure how long it was really going on...but the last couple weeks I KNEW something was up. He left Saturday and hasn't seen the kids since, texted once to check on them and say he'll be at their dr appt on Thursday. Since then I found out about the other woman so I want to file and start proceedings right away, BUT i don't want to divorce right away................
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Me (DeLane) 27, Twins Dominik and Chloe born 04/20/2009 and two furbabies   
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#2
11-03-2009, 06:29 PM
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A separation can happen without paperwork, but most lawyers will give you free advice in a consult. Start there! Hugs mama!
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 Me (30), DH (39), DD (6), DS (Born 7-31-08)
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#3
11-03-2009, 06:30 PM
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I'm so sorry.
 What a jerk! I don't have any advice other than to meet with an attorney and go from there. Good luck!
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Julie & Hannah (3)   
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#4
11-03-2009, 06:46 PM
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You can draw up a legal separation agreement on your own without an attorney and stipulate things like support (not sure about custody) both sign in front of a notary and then file it and those terms are binding....
I am so sorry that you are going through this!
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 - I AM Ariel!
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#6
11-04-2009, 09:35 AM
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Thanks for the advice, I am waiting for an attorney to call me.
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Me (DeLane) 27, Twins Dominik and Chloe born 04/20/2009 and two furbabies
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#9
11-04-2009, 11:30 AM
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When I was in PA, I went to the child support office and filed for support. As long as you say a date that you were separated, then they consider you separated so you can file for support. I would do that. That is all I have done when it comes to us being considered separated. There was no legal separation. I never had to stop the support since we never got back together, so I am not sure how hard it is if you were to get back together. I am so sorry hun. I know how hard this is. My husband left for 3 months when my twins were 3 months old. And again when my son was 15 months, and this time when Paige was 6 weeks old. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.
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Julie(28)-Single mommy to Emma(8), Jayden(8), Logan (5), and Paige(1)
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#11
11-05-2009, 04:49 PM
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Oh DeLane I want to kick him in the b@lls for you. What dumbass...and what a skanky homewrecker to get involved with a guy who is in a relationship and has two babies! I don't have any advice on this matter, but I would definatly talk to a lawyer and get some advice from them.
 and lot's of
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   After STC 19 mos. with two losses we finally saw a  @ 7wks 6 days 165!!
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#12
11-05-2009, 06:10 PM
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I'm so sorry! I am going through a divorce right now, its hard! My husband already has a girlfriend too! : ( If you think you will get a divorce anyways, its not worth it to spend money to file for a legal seperation. You don't have to get a legal separation in order to get a divorce, but its a good idea if you think there may be hope of saving your marriage. I have found it is worth it to get a good lawyer to make sure you get it done right the first time! There are a lot more options than I thought there were and its a lot of paperwork, I don't know what I'd do with out my lawyer!
Good luck and feel free to pm me if you need to talk!
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#13
11-05-2009, 09:07 PM
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Thanks for all your advice. He came today and went to the twins doctor appointment and we talked. We typed up an agreement between ourselves and went and had it notarized it only covers custody/support...I told him the rest we can fight over but no lawyers (neither of us can afford that!!) Anyways, I told him to give me half the money to file for legal seperation and I would file BUT I would not file for divorce because it's not what I want right now....maybe in 6mo I'll feel different but I won't file for divorce right now. That's as far as we got really. He is getting his own place (so he says) this coming week and wants to still keep the twins during the day while I work. I am having a hard time with this (even though I agreed, I need him to do it...we were already strapped for cash before so I can't do daycare) what I'm worried about is the skank.....she is going to spend more time with my kids than I do because I have them in the evening so they go to bed a few hours after we get home. I begged him as a parent to please not let her spend more time with them than me, to at least not rub her in my face the next few weeks...I hope he complies cause I will seriously punch her in the face........Thanks for listening.......
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Me (DeLane) 27, Twins Dominik and Chloe born 04/20/2009 and two furbabies
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#14
11-05-2009, 11:34 PM
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Hope it all works out for you!
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#16
11-07-2009, 07:07 PM
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I wanted to offer
He is such a jerk!
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#17
11-11-2009, 12:53 PM
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I am so incredibly sorry!
What an arse! I agree I wouldn't want that skank around my kids either. 
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Lisa - mom to Jonathan and Jacob and our SURPRISE baby due in April or May!    
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#18
11-11-2009, 01:53 PM
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Quote:
I am so so so sorry! I will definitely be praying for you. Those are big struggles to face especially after all you have been through!
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#19
11-11-2009, 02:35 PM
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I'm sorry you're going through this. What a jerk... Although I am not married and I know its different for me... I am still concerned about what will happen if my dbf and I can't work things out.. I don't want another girl around my son 
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#20
11-12-2009, 05:15 AM
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I wanted to add a couple of things - to do with a legal seperation.
Along with child support/visitation - you should MOST DEFINITELY add something about DEBTS! Because you are still married - any debt he runs up in the next xxx number of months you can be held liable for! SO what if he goes into hock buying this skank jewelry or dinners or whatever?! You do NOT want to be liable for anything after the day you seperated. And in the legal seperation you CAN request that the skank NOT be allowed time with the children - you are NOT divorced yet. He is still legally bound to you in the courts. And as such to the children. I would love to kick this guy in the nutsack for you...and the skank in the ovaries. I am so sorry 
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~Kat~ 33  , Wife to Joe - 43 - a career Military Man , Mama to Savannah - 13 (going on 30  ) soccer player & student. VERY excited about being able to be a booby Mama again!
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#21
11-12-2009, 09:06 AM
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Quote:
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Me (DeLane) 27, Twins Dominik and Chloe born 04/20/2009 and two furbabies
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#22
11-12-2009, 01:15 PM
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DeLane ... I found this, it might answer some questions.
http://www.jeffirslawoffice.com/divorce.html Also, I've been through a divorce, as has DH. While they are different states, I may be able to answer some questions for you. I also found a forum for free legal advice, if you want to peruse there. http://family-law.freeadvice.com/family-law/ My one piece of advice ..... Get help filing the papers. There is so much legaleze in the paperwork that you may not succeed in filing the first time, or second time, etc. It took DH over a year for their paperwork to be properly filed; they eventually took it to a Legal Document Preparation service to take care of it. Total cost to do it that was is about $800. Otherwise in our state it's about $400. But the year of frustration more than makes up for the $400.
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~Christine 
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#23
11-15-2009, 05:11 PM
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Sorry you're going through this & I would ask him not to have that skank anywhere near the kids, at all! But I know that would be hard to stop since you're not there to watch and see what he's up to. That sucks.
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  Motherhood: It's on the job training!
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