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Thread: things i've learned in 38 cycles.....

  1. #1

    Default things i've learned in 38 cycles.....

    1. you are here and struggling......it could be worse: the doctor could've just laughed at you and said "no way it'll ever happen"
    2. you are not a failure, i succomb to this feeling a lot where i feel useless and that i've failed my husband, my love, because i have not been able to stay pregnant.
    3. you are going to laugh and feel guilty and cry and feel guilty. please don't freak out, it's natural to go through a range of emotions.
    4. hormone drugs are just what they are described as, hormones.....you are pumping your body full up with synthetic hormones so yes you are going to be sensative and things will bother you more. people still love you even when you are crazy.
    5. please don't ever forget the reason you wanted to have a baby with the person you are ttc'ing with. the process started hopefully out of a strong love and a bond. don't forget to let your dh/so know that you love them. make love, don't just time sex and the drug cocktail.
    6. the world does not stop when you are having issues with conception. my personal feeling is that i'm not mad at the preggo mommas i'm mad that it's not me.
    7. losses are hard and will hurt deeply. forever.
    8. i know that i refuse to obsess about this. i think about it every day but it is not my every waking moment thought. if it consumes you the entire reason you started this process becomes moot.
    9. don't be afraid to love yourself in spite of everything.
    10. you will never know everything and no one book or doctor is perfect for everyone.
    11. grieve your loss of innocence on conception. those of us that have struggled at any time know that it takes more than just laying down and spreading your legs.....
    12. you will never agree with everyone on the magic combination of what to do to get pregnant.
    13.be patient with each other. we are all on different cycle days at any given time.
    14. you don't have to like everyone, i don't. but i know enough about myself to love them anyway and be happy for their successes and cry for the losses.
    15. You have to love yourself no matter what and take time to take care of you! (thank you kim)
    16. don't forget or forgo the rest of your life and what you are passionate about other than ttc'ing.
    17.Always remember that good things can come from struggles, but you have to let them. Maybe your TTCing journey won't end with you getting pregnant, but it can end with you being a mother! (thank you Nicole (whynotme?)
    18. Even when you receive your BFP keep other's TTC in mind since you were once like them. (thank you reeree124)
    19. Through all the rough times, in the end we are better and stronger woman. We know if we keep trying we all get our .
    20. I am stronger than I realize and can handle any obstacle thrown at me with grace(most of the time .)( Thank You Kim!)
    21.BELIEVE. In whatever YOU believe in. And never, ever, ever, no matter what they say, say "never". (Thank You LisaJ)
    22.Belief is greater than any monetary amount spent. Continue believing.(thank you twintrons) (feel free to continue this list)
    Last edited by xtrememousey; 04-22-2012 at 05:42 PM. Reason: adding stuff

  2. #2

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    I love this!! Thanks for sharing!!!

    Struggled for 7 1/2 years. PCOS & Hypothyroidism

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Toeing the edge between sanity and insanity
    Posts
    30,570

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    I know I'm not "supposed" to post here...but I just wanted to thank you for this post. I hope you don't think that's strange. As I read it my mind was kind of applying it to...struggle in general. Not just fertility. Nearly everything you wrote is such good advice for all aspects of life. I've not struggled to get pregnant. But I've lost. And I've hurt and ached. And struggled. And almost every one of your "learnings" is something that I can learn and grow from.

  4. #4

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    *sniff, sniff*
    That's so sweet, girls!

    "Some women love only what they can hold in their arms; others, only what they can't."

  5. #5
    stephiegirl Guest

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    Love it!

    I have one!

    You are one of the strongest woman you know. No matter how much disappointment you experience, you still pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. You are an example of the determination of the human spirit.

  6. #6
    Kimmie Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by shortysally
    I know I'm not "supposed" to post here...but I just wanted to thank you for this post. I hope you don't think that's strange. As I read it my mind was kind of applying it to...struggle in general. Not just fertility. Nearly everything you wrote is such good advice for all aspects of life. I've not struggled to get pregnant. But I've lost. And I've hurt and ached. And struggled. And almost every one of your "learnings" is something that I can learn and grow from.
    Don't ever feel you cannot post in here. We may be moody and sensitive, but struggle = pain for everyone. Everyone has pain and struggle, just not exactly like someone else.

    Leyla - I could not have said it better myself.

    Remember to heal ladies. Our journey was given to us for a reason. We may not know why. But think of the countless women you have helped in your journey. All the women who have been blessed by your empathy, blessed tohave you tell them what to look for and how to fix it, and most of all blessed to know YOU helped them acheive a goal that could have not been achieved when it was if it was not for you.

    Our pain never goes away, as none ever does. But have fait that God or what ever you beleive gave you this journey because he knew you could handle it and make good come out it. Focus on the good, know you will get what you desire when you have faith and preserverence. We are the epitomy of strength and determination adn most people look up to us for strudging on each day and look to us for inspiration. It is nice to know we can inspire others everyday just for being who we are.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,495

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    Wow. Thanks for this! I will share two things - one that I've learned, one that was given to me. It's religious in nature, but I hope someone will find it helpful.

    From me: When I am feeling down, I remember that through our struggles with IF it has been made clear in many ways just how much DH and I love each other, and just how much we are willing and able to give each other. My DH has been my shoulder to cry on, is learning to give injections despite his pathological fear of needles, has picked up on, shared and sometimes just carried my pain throughout the last 2+ years. I am sometimes bowled over by just how much love there is, and I am always reminded why this is the man with whom I want a child.

    From my mom: Saint Theresa is known as the Saint of the Little Ways, meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love.

    Saint Theresa's Prayer

    May today there be peace within.

    May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

    May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

    May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you .

    May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

    It is there for each and every one of us.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by shortysally
    I know I'm not "supposed" to post here...but I just wanted to thank you for this post. I hope you don't think that's strange. As I read it my mind was kind of applying it to...struggle in general. Not just fertility. Nearly everything you wrote is such good advice for all aspects of life. I've not struggled to get pregnant. But I've lost. And I've hurt and ached. And struggled. And almost every one of your "learnings" is something that I can learn and grow from.
    i'm glad you posted tif.


  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by stephiegirl
    Love it!

    I have one!

    You are one of the strongest woman you know. No matter how much disappointment you experience, you still pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. You are an example of the determination of the human spirit.
    wow!


  10. #10
    kss717 Guest

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    Amen ladies well said!

  11. #11
    LisaJ2224 Guest

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    #12 really hits home with me. The truth is, I have tried just about every suggestion, and none have worked for me. Up to and including the Instead cups. They do not work for everyone.

    :?

    Also...I have learned that it is normal to be seriously envious when it seems like everyone else is graduating and you aren't. it is normal to decide (and then change your mind) every other month to stop TTC.

    I want everyone in here to graduate. I really do. But it hurts to watch what seems like everyone else move on and still be here. The tickers, the US pics....none of those bother me, though. How odd is that?


    Lisa

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by kimmie_n_angus
    Remember to heal ladies. Our journey was given to us for a reason. We may not know why. But think of the countless women you have helped in your journey. All the women who have been blessed by your empathy, blessed tohave you tell them what to look for and how to fix it, and most of all blessed to know YOU helped them acheive a goal that could have not been achieved when it was if it was not for you.

    Our pain never goes away, as none ever does. But have fait that God or what ever you beleive gave you this journey because he knew you could handle it and make good come out it. Focus on the good, know you will get what you desire when you have faith and preserverence. We are the epitomy of strength and determination adn most people look up to us for strudging on each day and look to us for inspiration. It is nice to know we can inspire others everyday just for being who we are.[/color][/b]
    well said kimmie!


  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    1,429

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    This is awesome, thanks for posting!

  14. #14

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    that was great , thank you for posting it.

  15. #15

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    i was just thinking about it heavily for the last few days......

    i know i don't post a lot so many people may not know me but those that do know that i have good and bad days. i lash out, but i try to apologize when i do. i just want you girl to all know that you are NOT alone!


  16. #16
    kss717 Guest

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    Neither are you sweetie!

  17. #17

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    Amazing...this post really hit home for me. My DH and I talked about a lot of things last night and quite a few of them were on that list...weird how things work like that. Thank you for your post.

    Jess

  18. #18

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    I so appreciate your post.

    Thank you!

  19. #19
    kss717 Guest

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    Oh #15 You have to love yourself no matter what and take time to take care of you!

  20. #20

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    bumping - because i think it really needs to be read again


  21. #21
    stephiegirl Guest

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    I think we need to make this a sticky!

  22. #22
    LisaJ2224 Guest

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    Me, too--I think we need a sticky for laughs, wisdom, etc. I like this one, and I got a lot of good feedback on my post on a typical TTC month.

    Mods, can we have a sticky for wisdom and laughs?

    Lisaf

  23. Default

    beautiful

  24. #24

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    i think this needs a bump


  25. #25
    LisaJ2224 Guest

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    I think it needs a sticky.

  26. #26

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    OMG this is so true and so sweet, i guess no matter what ur struggle is we can all relate to all of this!!

    Thanks for making this a sticky...

    Fatema
    Expecting baby # 2 in Sept 2012

  27. #27

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    I really needed this right now. I thank you for this, and hope that each one can actually stick with me.

    Always remember that good things can come from struggles, but you have to let them.

    Maybe your TTCing journey won't end with you getting pregnant, but it can end with you being a mother!

  28. #28
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    13,420

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    Thats just beautiful mousie.

    Me wuvers you

    kia

    Angela is 30...James is 28...Levi is 22 www.chadseyphoto.com

  29. #29
    WishingHopingPraying Guest

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    That was fabulous! Thanks!

    It reminds me of what I was discussing with my therapist . . . it's okay to grieve the loss of our ideals of how we *thought* our life was supposed to turn out.

  30. #30

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    Quote Originally Posted by kia View Post
    Thats just beautiful mousie.

    Me wuvers you

    kia

    your ticker makes me so so so happy kia!!!!

    love you too girl!


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