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Thread: things i've learned in 38 cycles.....

  1. #31


    Wow, what a fabulous thread. I'm so glad this was here for me to read tonight. Thank you for posting!

    Praying 4 2 Erins, Snowy, Pearly, Terri & all the TTC ladies' BFPs. & a H&H pg 4 Jess, Lindz, Rachel, Jenna, & Court! Cupcake Batter Housewife: 4 1 on 1 time!

  2. #32


    I just read this post and cried...Thank you for those words

  3. #33


    WOW! So true

  4. #34
    HisBeauty Guest


    Thank you for posting that! I'm glad that it's a sticky now.

  5. #35


    I go back and read this thread every now and then, and it's really helpful, so thank you for posting. Baby dust to everyone!

  6. #36

    Default caution

    i know this message is old but this is the first time i have read it.
    it really hit home with me...i am going through the stage of wondering whether we should keep ttc or just quit...we keep waiting and waiting and i am afraid we will have to wait till there are no more chances for us.we have been together for 13 years and have been ttc for over half that..the advice is overwhelming and the phrase all in Gods time makes me stop and think everytime and try to think of what i have done in my life that God thinks we would be bad parents considering you always here of people who are alcoholics and drug addicts getting pregnant.yet here we are empty handed.i do consider myself a strong woman but even the strongest tree will fall sometime you know.and i do feel like i am letting my husband and family down.i am a failure,,,and it sucks because no matter how much you want to fix it you have no control over it..and this is the only place i can come and vent because here at home people want things to be have to act like things are ok and sometimes they just aren't have these days where you just want to throw in the towel.this disappointment gets to you.and i seem to be stuck in this rut.
    sorry i think i could write a book today..
    the things in the message give me something to think about.thank you for writing the responses as well..sometimes i just need to come here and gather a little strength from you girls..and vent...
    if it posts a message from me twice i appologize ahead of time.first time i tried to post i wasn't signed in and didn't realize it till i tried to send my message..
    good luck this month girls..
    shell 31,DH 31. trying for our first little miracle and hoping it will arrive in 2009.
    we have tried clomid for 3 rounds now.i take prometrium starting day 12 for 14 days monthly...diagnosed with hypo thyroidism,blood clotting disorder,type 2 diabetes,endo,scoliosis,and unexplained recurring miscarriages.

  7. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by xtrememousey View Post
    1. you are here and could be worse: the doctor could've just laughed at you and said "no way it'll ever happen"

    2. you are not a failure, i succomb to this feeling a lot where i feel useless and that i've failed my husband, my love, because i have not been able to stay pregnant.

    3. you are going to laugh and feel guilty and cry and feel guilty. please don't freak out, it's natural to go through a range of emotions.

    4. hormone drugs are just what they are described as, are pumping your body full up with synthetic hormones so yes you are going to be sensative and things will bother you more. people still love you even when you are crazy.

    5. please don't ever forget the reason you wanted to have a baby with the person you are ttc'ing with. the process started hopefully out of a strong love and a bond. don't forget to let your dh/so know that you love them. make love, don't just time sex and the drug cocktail.

    6. the world does not stop when you are having issues with conception. my personal feeling is that i'm not mad at the preggo mommas i'm mad that it's not me.

    7. losses are hard and will hurt deeply. forever.

    8. i know that i refuse to obsess about this. i think about it every day but it is not my every waking moment thought. if it consumes you the entire reason you started this process becomes moot.

    9. don't be afraid to love yourself in spite of everything.

    10. you will never know everything and no one book or doctor is perfect for everyone.

    11. grieve your loss of innocence on conception. those of us that have struggled at any time know that it takes more than just laying down and spreading your legs.....

    12. you will never agree with everyone on the magic combination of what to do to get pregnant. patient with each other. we are all on different cycle days at any given time.

    14. you don't have to like everyone, i don't. but i know enough about myself to love them anyway and be happy for their successes and cry for the losses.

    15. You have to love yourself no matter what and take time to take care of you! (thank you kim)

    16. don't forget or forgo the rest of your life and what you are passionate about other than ttc'ing.

    17.Always remember that good things can come from struggles, but you have to let them. Maybe your TTCing journey won't end with you getting pregnant, but it can end with you being a mother! (thank you Nicole (whynotme?))

    (feel free to continue this list)
    18. Remember "For with God Nothing will be impossible."

    19. Even when you receive your BFP keep other's TTC in mind since you were once like them.

  8. #38


    i really believe that some things happen for a reason. after i have lost 2 babies i was thinking to quit and just get a dog. and just do the NPP. but just think what if i did get a dog and in years from now i have a baby. and something happens and the dog will come to save my baby? there are reasons for everything that happens. God is leading us to our destination of true happiness.

  9. #39
    ktbug Guest


    thank you for this, I appreciate it.

  10. #40


    Thanks! That really helps! I'm a new member and it really helps to have somewhere to go where everyone understands. I get so emotional sometimes with all of the hormones. We've been TTC since May 2007. My DH has been great, though sometimes he doesn't understand the mood swings. We don't have our family to turn to, b/c we decided not to tell them we are trying. My husband especially wants to surprise everybody, so we don't have that emotional support. I've only been a member a few days and this forum has already helped so much!


    TTC #1 since May 2007, tried Femara w/ no luck, and Clomid since July 2008

  11. #41
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Northern NJ


    AF is not the end, it is the beginning of an opportunity!
    Leigh(36)/Matt(40)/Sonja Lily(4)/Damien Andrew(1.5)

  12. #42


    I just read this and though this was a good thread. At times I feel down, I think that there's a reason we all go through these rough times, but god wouldn't put us through this if we wouldn't come out better and stronger woman in the end. I think we should add one more.

    # 19. Through all the rough times, in the end we are better and stronger woman. We know if we keep trying we all get our .

    Stay strong ladies and know it the end it makes you a stronger woman, going through the things we all have. Hopefully with good end results.
    Me:Christine(PCOS)32Dh Sean 34 DS:Bryce Lewis born 10-7-09DS#2Evan Kristopher born 6-19-11

  13. #43
    kss717 Guest


    20. I am stronger than I realize and can handle any obstacle thrown at me with grace(most of the time ).
    Last edited by kss717; 06-07-2009 at 06:55 AM.

  14. #44


    it really touched me ........its so true really thanks for posting it.......after reading this i really felt relaxed

  15. #45
    LisaJ2224 Guest


    I cannot tell you how much it warms my heart to go back and read this and see how many have since graduated from STC...all the gorgeous tickers and babies!

    I will add one: BELIEVE. In whatever YOU believe in. And never, ever, ever, no matter what they say, say "never".

  16. #46
    ridstirup Guest


    Great post! It's very nice and userful. Thank you so much for your post.

  17. #47
    hugsogen Guest


    ts like what Brenda, the original poster has in the bottom of her posts. The cute pictures of her boys

    It can also be a pregnancy ticker or whatever else related to pregnancy as well.

  18. #48


    Thank YOU !!! I really needed this.


  19. #49


    I so needed to read this....thanks for posting.

  20. #50
    megansterkel Guest


    thank you so much for putting this together.

    it is so wonderful to know that there are people out there that understand what I am going through.

  21. #51


    I love all of what you ladies have to say here! It is so inspirational!

  22. #52
    rochan Guest


    14. you don't have to like everyone, i don't. but i know enough about myself to love them anyway and be happy for their successes and cry for the losses. I've not struggled to get pregnant. But I've lost. And I've hurt and ached. And struggled. And almost every one of your "learnings" is something that I can learn and grow from.

  23. #53


    i needed to go back and read my own words ......i'm almost 11 months into ttc'ing #2 .......ugh
    Last edited by xtrememousey; 10-25-2011 at 05:16 AM. Reason: siggy....sorry...

  24. #54


    Quote Originally Posted by xtrememousey View Post
    i needed to go back and read my own words ......i'm almost 11 months into ttc'ing #2 .......ugh

    Erica 33, DH 34, STC for 4+ years, Diagnosed DOR 4/2011, mom to 4 , Barbados IVF March 2013!!!

  25. #55
    philiprambo Guest


    Good one.Keep it up.thanks for sharing.

  26. #56
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Escondido (North San Diego) CALIFORNIA


    awwww, love this....
    Malia(27)Danny(45)Olivia(7)Aiden(4)Kayla(3) 1/2010 7/2010 11/2010 6/2011
    OUR MIRACLE BABY due October 8,2013...SURPRISE BFP JAN 30th one month after deciding to take a TTC break

  27. #57
    mamatheer Guest


    Amen to that

  28. #58


    Thank you for the post. Anyways I have a situation that I am struggling with. My husband and had been trying to conceive for about a year I guess. I got pregnant last year and it ended with a DC. I was experiencing pregnancy symptoms, but I never heard a heart beat. It was so depressing for me and my family. I told him that I didnt want to try again, but I changed my mind months later. Now he doesn't want to try again. I've tried to stop thinking about having a baby, but it is still on my mind. I really want a baby, but I dont think we can do it without help. I dont know how to get my husband to change his mind. If he dont want to conceive, should I keep pushing the issue. I know it could also happen naturally, just like before. That obviously would still be wrong of me to do if he doesnt want a baby now. The desire is very strong. I'm 39 yr old and he is 44. I know that I'm asking opinionated question but I need someone to talk to. When I had my DC, the ladies on this forum really helped get me threw.

  29. #59


    I love you ladies on apa! I just stumbled across this thread and it has made my day. Thank you everyone who posted their wisdom. Our ivf was postponed til, next month (hopefully) and I definitely needed some uplifting words. Thank you.

    Tigger - have you and your DH thought about speaking with a counselor? I know my DH wanted to stop trying off and on in rue six year journey to have a baby. Speaking to a neutral third party really helped us out. Good luck.
    Last edited by HighHopesMama; 09-01-2013 at 06:52 PM.
    Code snippet: HTML, Used for websites, email and some forums.

  30. #60


    MMMMH, seeing a counselor. I've never gave it a serious thought, because I was praying to just get pass it , but that maybe something to consider. Thanks for the response.

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