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Thread: Introductions

  1. #181

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    Hello,
    I've had 3 losses, first when I was 23 due to a violent act upon me. Then 2 years ago only days after a bfp, and now today at 6 weeks 1 day. I have a d&c tomorrow. I still grieve about the first, the second I barely had time to know and I know it was God's way of taking something that couldn't survive. This one is very upsetting for several reasons, it was my last chance to have a baby as I am having major surgery next year and after that having children is not possible and really I can't go through this again. I feel very guilty and sad and angry. I know it could have been a million reasons why, but when ttc, I went over all the medications I was taking and the ob ok'd them, then at my appt today the other ob at the office told me 2 are Cat C and one a Cat D.
    I'm sorry that this ever has to happen. If children are a gift, why are they taken away?

  2. #182
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Little Slice of Country Paradise
    Posts
    41,200

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    I'm sorry hun. 3 losses is rough (isnt this 4-you had one in May too?). Just remember we are here for you.
    Our Family <3 Est. July 2007 <3
    Samuel (5 years), Elliott (3 years), and Evelyn (1 year).

  3. Default Five years

    Hello, my name is Michelle and I am married to a wonderful man named Ron.

    It's been five years since I lost my precious Sarah at 16 weeks gestation. I found out on my birthday (November 25th) that I was pregnant with her, and it's that time of year again.

    I am blessed with other children, and I am very thankful for them. But no one says Sarah's name in my real life. No one remembers, unless they see me too quiet, then they guess that might be why. So November 25th is almost here and I'll be another year older...another year without Sarah.

    But this year, I want Sarah to know that my birthday is the day I'm glad I was born, so I could experience being her mommy...even if it was only for 16 short weeks.

    Nice to meet you all,
    Michelle
    Being a mommy is Heaven on Earth!

  4. #184

    Default

    Hi Michelle,
    I am Anabel I lost a son, he was born on Nov 29th and this would have been his first year...I think of him every single day but like you everybody seems to have forgotten about him. Lots of hugs to you.

  5. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AGDiaz View Post
    Hi Michelle,
    I am Anabel I lost a son, he was born on Nov 29th and this would have been his first year...I think of him every single day but like you everybody seems to have forgotten about him. Lots of hugs to you.
    Hugs to you Anabel,and thanks for understanding. Sorry for the loss of your little one. I'll be thinking of you and saying a prayer for your day on the 29th.
    Being a mommy is Heaven on Earth!

  6. #186

    Default

    Hello my name is Alicia. I'm 23 and I just lost our first baby just a few days ago.
    My husband and I have been married for just over a year and a half but we have been together for over 5 years. In May we decided that we would start trying. Finally after trying for months with each AF being dissapointing but understood (My husband and I have opposite shifts and hectic schedules that would subside before the baby got here). Finally on December 1st we found out that we were in fact pregnant. I couldn't believe it, I took 3 pregnancy tests that were all positive! We were elated and found creative ways to tell our families at various parties before the Christmas holiday.
    We went in for our first appointment with no worries at all on December 22. I had small amounts of cramping but not horribly worried. To most I would have had a picture perfect pregnancy. We spoke with the Doctor as we anticipated our Ultrasound. We went in and watched as she searched for the baby's heartbeat. There was a little bean there, in the perfect spot but she said that the little one was measuring at 6 weeks 3 days instead of the 7 weeks 3 days we had calculated out. We were nervous but not horribly as the machine was old and we were told that its not uncommon for this to happen. The Doctor set us up for a US at a Women's Imaging Center to get a better look.
    We went in the next day we went to the imaging center but the tech could not find a heart beat using 3 different techniques. The tech also said that the baby was actually measuring at 7 weeks 1 day. The imaging center told us to go home and wait for a call from my Doctor's office. The office had me come in that afternoon and we decided to go ahead with the D&C since I didn't want to have to go through the stress of waiting to pass the m/c on my own. And shortly after that I was in the OR prep room getting ready to have the procedure
    We have had great family support as it all happened just a day before Christmas Eve. We are all taking this in stride as tough as it is. We know that we can get pregnant. We do want to try again a few months after we get the green light.

  7. #187
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    13,286

    Default

    Well here goes...

    Our lil guy was just over 2 when we started trying again. After 7 months I got my BFP! I had implantation spotting just like I did with Landon and 2 days later got my positive test. We went for an ultrasound at 8 weeks and they said I was measuring 7 weeks 4 days. I should have sensed this was a problem since I know when I implanted and I figured I should have been measuring 8 weeks 2 days. But there was a strong heartbeat and everything looked well.

    At 9 weeks I was amazed that I had started getting my energy back. This didn't happen til the 2nd trimester during my pregnancy with Landon. I took it as a sign that the baby was healthy and growing and the placenta was in place.

    Thursday I went for my normally scheduled OB appointment (I was 11 weeks). I told the doc I started feeling good at 9 weeks and he was surprised saying it usually takes longer with the 2nd pregnancy. then he pulled out the doppler and couldn't hear the heartbeat. He assurred me that everything was most-likely fine but gave me 3 options...1) come back in 4 weeks and we'll do it again, 2) come back in 2 weeks and we'll do it again or 3) go get an ultrasound. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, eat or function if I didn't get the ultrasound so I went for it.

    The tech couldn't find the heartbeat on the belly ultrasound so told me to go empty my bladder and we'll do a vaginal. There was my baby and I could see my baby's heart but no heartbeat. I remember at the 8 week ultrasound the heart looked like a butterfly, flapping its wings up and down. In that ultrasound room it just sat, lifeless.

    It took a couple minutes to really sink in and then I just started shaking and quivering. I called DH at work and told him to get to the hospital. The ultrasound tech walked me back up to my doc's office and he just opened the back door, put his arm around me and walked me to his office.

    Once I calmed down we talked about my options. I had a D&E that night.

    I am sitting here trying to figure it all out. The baby measured 9 weeks... so right when I started feeling better the baby died. I am glad I found out at the doctor's office but it is sooooooooo hard. We had told quite a few people so we are getting just as many "I'm Sorry's" ... I know that's what people say but I don't want to hear it. I know there was something wrong but I just want to know what and why... 2 things I will never figure out. God gained an angel Thursday night. I cry at different times throughout the day. I guess I am coping, healing.

    My doc told me this happens 15-20% of the time. He said when I start telling people I will hear people say "it happened to me". It's so true. Of the 20 people I told I have heard from 7 already that it has happened to them. And they all went on to have healthy, happy kids in the future.

  8. #188

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsB View Post
    Well here goes...

    Our lil guy was just over 2 when we started trying again. After 7 months I got my BFP! I had implantation spotting just like I did with Landon and 2 days later got my positive test. We went for an ultrasound at 8 weeks and they said I was measuring 7 weeks 4 days. I should have sensed this was a problem since I know when I implanted and I figured I should have been measuring 8 weeks 2 days. But there was a strong heartbeat and everything looked well.

    At 9 weeks I was amazed that I had started getting my energy back. This didn't happen til the 2nd trimester during my pregnancy with Landon. I took it as a sign that the baby was healthy and growing and the placenta was in place.

    Thursday I went for my normally scheduled OB appointment (I was 11 weeks). I told the doc I started feeling good at 9 weeks and he was surprised saying it usually takes longer with the 2nd pregnancy. then he pulled out the doppler and couldn't hear the heartbeat. He assurred me that everything was most-likely fine but gave me 3 options...1) come back in 4 weeks and we'll do it again, 2) come back in 2 weeks and we'll do it again or 3) go get an ultrasound. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, eat or function if I didn't get the ultrasound so I went for it.

    The tech couldn't find the heartbeat on the belly ultrasound so told me to go empty my bladder and we'll do a vaginal. There was my baby and I could see my baby's heart but no heartbeat. I remember at the 8 week ultrasound the heart looked like a butterfly, flapping its wings up and down. In that ultrasound room it just sat, lifeless.

    It took a couple minutes to really sink in and then I just started shaking and quivering. I called DH at work and told him to get to the hospital. The ultrasound tech walked me back up to my doc's office and he just opened the back door, put his arm around me and walked me to his office.

    Once I calmed down we talked about my options. I had a D&E that night.

    I am sitting here trying to figure it all out. The baby measured 9 weeks... so right when I started feeling better the baby died. I am glad I found out at the doctor's office but it is sooooooooo hard. We had told quite a few people so we are getting just as many "I'm Sorry's" ... I know that's what people say but I don't want to hear it. I know there was something wrong but I just want to know what and why... 2 things I will never figure out. God gained an angel Thursday night. I cry at different times throughout the day. I guess I am coping, healing.

    My doc told me this happens 15-20% of the time. He said when I start telling people I will hear people say "it happened to me". It's so true. Of the 20 people I told I have heard from 7 already that it has happened to them. And they all went on to have healthy, happy kids in the future.
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a very similar experience the first week of February except I had some bright red spotting and went in a few days before my scheduled appointment. PM me if you need to talk. Many hugs and prayers for you!!!



    ~Angie
    DD - Leah (09/04/08) (02/04/10 - 11 1/2 weeks) DS - Conor (12/2/11)

  9. #189

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsB View Post
    Well here goes...

    Our lil guy was just over 2 when we started trying again. After 7 months I got my BFP! I had implantation spotting just like I did with Landon and 2 days later got my positive test. We went for an ultrasound at 8 weeks and they said I was measuring 7 weeks 4 days. I should have sensed this was a problem since I know when I implanted and I figured I should have been measuring 8 weeks 2 days. But there was a strong heartbeat and everything looked well.

    At 9 weeks I was amazed that I had started getting my energy back. This didn't happen til the 2nd trimester during my pregnancy with Landon. I took it as a sign that the baby was healthy and growing and the placenta was in place.

    Thursday I went for my normally scheduled OB appointment (I was 11 weeks). I told the doc I started feeling good at 9 weeks and he was surprised saying it usually takes longer with the 2nd pregnancy. then he pulled out the doppler and couldn't hear the heartbeat. He assurred me that everything was most-likely fine but gave me 3 options...1) come back in 4 weeks and we'll do it again, 2) come back in 2 weeks and we'll do it again or 3) go get an ultrasound. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, eat or function if I didn't get the ultrasound so I went for it.

    The tech couldn't find the heartbeat on the belly ultrasound so told me to go empty my bladder and we'll do a vaginal. There was my baby and I could see my baby's heart but no heartbeat. I remember at the 8 week ultrasound the heart looked like a butterfly, flapping its wings up and down. In that ultrasound room it just sat, lifeless.

    It took a couple minutes to really sink in and then I just started shaking and quivering. I called DH at work and told him to get to the hospital. The ultrasound tech walked me back up to my doc's office and he just opened the back door, put his arm around me and walked me to his office.

    Once I calmed down we talked about my options. I had a D&E that night.

    I am sitting here trying to figure it all out. The baby measured 9 weeks... so right when I started feeling better the baby died. I am glad I found out at the doctor's office but it is sooooooooo hard. We had told quite a few people so we are getting just as many "I'm Sorry's" ... I know that's what people say but I don't want to hear it. I know there was something wrong but I just want to know what and why... 2 things I will never figure out. God gained an angel Thursday night. I cry at different times throughout the day. I guess I am coping, healing.

    My doc told me this happens 15-20% of the time. He said when I start telling people I will hear people say "it happened to me". It's so true. Of the 20 people I told I have heard from 7 already that it has happened to them. And they all went on to have healthy, happy kids in the future.
    I'm so sorry for your loss -

    I wish there wasn't a need for this room.

  10. #190
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    13,286

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mcangie View Post
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a very similar experience the first week of February except I had some bright red spotting and went in a few days before my scheduled appointment. PM me if you need to talk. Many hugs and prayers for you!!!



    ~Angie
    Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Marquette Fan View Post
    I'm so sorry for your loss -

    I wish there wasn't a need for this room.
    and Thank You! If someone told me in 2006 when I joined the APA that I would be visiting this room in 2010 I would have never believed them. I had never come in here before cause I didn't know what everyone was going through and didn't want to pretend I did. Now I know all too well and it seems that this is one of the few rooms I have visited the last couple days

  11. #191

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsB View Post
    and Thank You! If someone told me in 2006 when I joined the APA that I would be visiting this room in 2010 I would have never believed them. I had never come in here before cause I didn't know what everyone was going through and didn't want to pretend I did. Now I know all too well and it seems that this is one of the few rooms I have visited the last couple days
    Yeah sometimes life doesn't go as planned unfortunately as I've discovered recently. I never imagined that I'd be trying IUI again one year after the first time much less doing it b/c my son died .

    I haven't had a pregnancy loss before but I would think any loss is hard -

  12. #192
    travsgirl Guest

    Default

    This page is amazing! After having my first miscarriage last week at 10 weeks this is very helpful! This pain is emotionally and physically the most I have experienced in my 28 years of living and am glad there are women in the world who are brave enough to share with me. So thank you! And know moving forward is all we can do...we are women our strength is unmeasurable!

  13. #193
    kpzibell Guest

    Default New to APA

    Hello, my name is Krissy. I am 32 and am married to a wonderful man, Walter, who is 35. Here is our history.

    In September 2007 my husband and I found out that we were pregnant for the first time. We were so excited! I had implantation bleeding and morning nausea. About a week later I started heavy bleeding. I went to the doctor immediately and had the full workup. At that time we were only about 6 weeks along. Had the ultrasound and saw the heartbeat, so my worries went down tremendously. I did bed rest the entire weekend and had my OB workup the following week. I went in for my exam and the doctor decided to do another US just to show me all was well. Turns out there was no baby at all!! I had miscarried during the heavy bleeding, even though I saw a heartbeat and the doctor told me I was fine. I had tons of labs done, but no real answers came from them. I was told that miscarriages just sometimes happen. Ok. (Did I mention that my father died the week prior to my OB visit, so I thought that some massive stress is what caused my miscarriage). The doctors think I made it to about week 7.

    A few months later we were pregnant again. Wonderful! Same as the last pregnancy. Implantation spotting & nausea full on. A little nervous because of my history but I try to stay calm. Several weeks later the heavy bleeding starts again. I rush to the doctor, they do an US, see the heartbeat, say all is OK, and send me home. The bleeding lasts for 5 days. I go back to the doctor for the follow up and just know that I've miscarried. (All of energy was back up and nausea was gone). The doctor does some blood work (quant Hcg) and sure enough I had miscarried again. This time we made it to week 8.

    Walter and I took some time off for just us. We starting TTC later in 2008 and in April 2009 we were pregnant. Woo Hoo! After the 2nd miscarriage bloodwork, the drs thought they knew what was going on. I had a low progesterone level. So the cure? Take Prometrium (progesterone). Ok. Well I did. I had to have US's every 2 weeks to follow the progress of the pregnancy, annoying but I would do anything to ensure the outcome. I go for my 8 week US and find out that the babies are fine. Yes, I am pregnant with twins. Holy crap is about the only thing I can say. After the initial shock, I am elated. All is going fine. At week 10 I noticed a brownish discharge and think nothing of it because I have an appt for the next day for an US. My husband and I go to the appt and the tech cannot find a heartbeat on either baby. After about an hour (rude and annoying) the doctor comes in the room to deliver the news that I've just had my 3rd miscarriage. I decide to do a D&C because honestly I couldn't imagine waiting to miscarry naturally. I have the D&C the next day and am set up with a specialist for follow up.

    I go see the maternal/fetal specialist and they do tons of more labs. Apparantly they do not consider people to have a problem continuing a pregnancy until you've had atleast 3 miscarriages. Well wonderful for me! The doctors finally think they have an answer, I have phosphalipid antibodies, they think. The treatment for that is to take 2 aspirins daily. (If my condition gets worse it could mean injecting anticoagulants daily). This all happened in June 09. So after we got the green light to start TTC again we've been doing exactly that. Well now I'm not ovulating. My GYN thinks that it's due to my D&C...a year ago. So I've been trying to get pregnant for a year and the whole time I'm not ovulating!!! Now I'm on fertilty medicine to try to help that. So please keep us in your prayers that this medicine will work and I'll be on my way to having some babies.

    I know that my post is very long, but there are not a whole lot of people in my life that understand what I'm going through. I want kids so very badly and, at 32, feel like it's never going to happen. So thank you for all who read this. I really appreciate it and am glad to talk to people that understand what I'm going through.

    Krissy[/FONT]

  14. #194

    Default

    Greetings! Sorry to be in this forum, but glad to be among those who share my experience. Had my first doctor's appointment yesterday, my very first pregnancy. At 8 1/2 weeks, the embryo was only the size of a 6 week old...no heart beating, just a sac and something called the fetal pole showing on the sonogram. No way to tell when it began to decline, but it had to have gotten to at least 6 weeks of development, maybe even 7 or 8 weeks, and has been in decline anywhere from a couple of weeks to a few days. Not any real alarming clues that this was happening, just had a bad feeling about it though, some spotting of both brownish and red-tinged blood and this odd little pain in my back for a few days.

    Not bleeding other than a random spot or two and not in pain, but going ahead with a D&C on Friday so that I can heal from this and start over. Wow, how to start over at 41? It took 4 years of unprotected sex to have one pregnancy and I have no money for fertility treatments (been to an RE several times this past year). Really doubting if I have another good egg in me at this age (though my FSH was a 3 so maybe I do), where odds of getting pregnant each month is in the single digits. With all my underlying health issues and age, I don't have another 4 years, was supposed to have a hysterectomy already and this pregnancy seemed to drop out of heaven, but hoping God will help me heal to procreate another day. I beat the odds once, maybe I will do so again.

    I thought I had been rescued from the childlessness that I thought was my fate, but now everything is in doubt. At least I know that I can get pregnant, but staying pregnant is a whole other hurdle to get over. Praying for another shot at it.

    Reading all your stories does help and gives me hope, so thanks to everyone and wishing that you all find a balm for your private grief and me for mine.

  15. #195

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kpzibell View Post
    Hello, my name is Krissy. I am 32 and am married to a wonderful man, Walter, who is 35. Here is our history.

    In September 2007 my husband and I found out that we were pregnant for the first time. We were so excited! I had implantation bleeding and morning nausea. About a week later I started heavy bleeding. I went to the doctor immediately and had the full workup. At that time we were only about 6 weeks along. Had the ultrasound and saw the heartbeat, so my worries went down tremendously. I did bed rest the entire weekend and had my OB workup the following week. I went in for my exam and the doctor decided to do another US just to show me all was well. Turns out there was no baby at all!! I had miscarried during the heavy bleeding, even though I saw a heartbeat and the doctor told me I was fine. I had tons of labs done, but no real answers came from them. I was told that miscarriages just sometimes happen. Ok. (Did I mention that my father died the week prior to my OB visit, so I thought that some massive stress is what caused my miscarriage). The doctors think I made it to about week 7.

    A few months later we were pregnant again. Wonderful! Same as the last pregnancy. Implantation spotting & nausea full on. A little nervous because of my history but I try to stay calm. Several weeks later the heavy bleeding starts again. I rush to the doctor, they do an US, see the heartbeat, say all is OK, and send me home. The bleeding lasts for 5 days. I go back to the doctor for the follow up and just know that I've miscarried. (All of energy was back up and nausea was gone). The doctor does some blood work (quant Hcg) and sure enough I had miscarried again. This time we made it to week 8.

    Walter and I took some time off for just us. We starting TTC later in 2008 and in April 2009 we were pregnant. Woo Hoo! After the 2nd miscarriage bloodwork, the drs thought they knew what was going on. I had a low progesterone level. So the cure? Take Prometrium (progesterone). Ok. Well I did. I had to have US's every 2 weeks to follow the progress of the pregnancy, annoying but I would do anything to ensure the outcome. I go for my 8 week US and find out that the babies are fine. Yes, I am pregnant with twins. Holy crap is about the only thing I can say. After the initial shock, I am elated. All is going fine. At week 10 I noticed a brownish discharge and think nothing of it because I have an appt for the next day for an US. My husband and I go to the appt and the tech cannot find a heartbeat on either baby. After about an hour (rude and annoying) the doctor comes in the room to deliver the news that I've just had my 3rd miscarriage. I decide to do a D&C because honestly I couldn't imagine waiting to miscarry naturally. I have the D&C the next day and am set up with a specialist for follow up.

    I go see the maternal/fetal specialist and they do tons of more labs. Apparantly they do not consider people to have a problem continuing a pregnancy until you've had atleast 3 miscarriages. Well wonderful for me! The doctors finally think they have an answer, I have phosphalipid antibodies, they think. The treatment for that is to take 2 aspirins daily. (If my condition gets worse it could mean injecting anticoagulants daily). This all happened in June 09. So after we got the green light to start TTC again we've been doing exactly that. Well now I'm not ovulating. My GYN thinks that it's due to my D&C...a year ago. So I've been trying to get pregnant for a year and the whole time I'm not ovulating!!! Now I'm on fertilty medicine to try to help that. So please keep us in your prayers that this medicine will work and I'll be on my way to having some babies.

    I know that my post is very long, but there are not a whole lot of people in my life that understand what I'm going through. I want kids so very badly and, at 32, feel like it's never going to happen. So thank you for all who read this. I really appreciate it and am glad to talk to people that understand what I'm going through.

    Krissy[/FONT]

    I'm so sorry for your losses. Many prayers that the meds will help and you will get your sticky BFP!


    ~Angie
    DD - Leah (09/04/08) (02/04/10 - 11 1/2 weeks) DS - Conor (12/2/11)

  16. #196

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by darkwater View Post
    Greetings! Sorry to be in this forum, but glad to be among those who share my experience. Had my first doctor's appointment yesterday, my very first pregnancy. At 8 1/2 weeks, the embryo was only the size of a 6 week old...no heart beating, just a sac and something called the fetal pole showing on the sonogram. No way to tell when it began to decline, but it had to have gotten to at least 6 weeks of development, maybe even 7 or 8 weeks, and has been in decline anywhere from a couple of weeks to a few days. Not any real alarming clues that this was happening, just had a bad feeling about it though, some spotting of both brownish and red-tinged blood and this odd little pain in my back for a few days.

    Not bleeding other than a random spot or two and not in pain, but going ahead with a D&C on Friday so that I can heal from this and start over. Wow, how to start over at 41? It took 4 years of unprotected sex to have one pregnancy and I have no money for fertility treatments (been to an RE several times this past year). Really doubting if I have another good egg in me at this age (though my FSH was a 3 so maybe I do), where odds of getting pregnant each month is in the single digits. With all my underlying health issues and age, I don't have another 4 years, was supposed to have a hysterectomy already and this pregnancy seemed to drop out of heaven, but hoping God will help me heal to procreate another day. I beat the odds once, maybe I will do so again.

    I thought I had been rescued from the childlessness that I thought was my fate, but now everything is in doubt. At least I know that I can get pregnant, but staying pregnant is a whole other hurdle to get over. Praying for another shot at it.

    Reading all your stories does help and gives me hope, so thanks to everyone and wishing that you all find a balm for your private grief and me for mine.
    I'm so sorry for your loss! Many during this difficult time.

    ~Angie
    DD - Leah (09/04/08) (02/04/10 - 11 1/2 weeks) DS - Conor (12/2/11)

  17. #197
    kpzibell Guest

    Default

    I am so sorry for your loss. I am in a similar boat, but have lost 3 pregnancies so far. I will keep you in my prayers that God will bless you with a little one. I had to have one D&C, it wasn't bad and not a lot of pain afterwards.

  18. #198

    Default

    Hi ladies, my name is Katherine and here's my story.

    My husband and I got pregnant the very first month we TTC with my daughter, which she is just about to turn 2 in Sept. Totally normal pregnancy. We decided to try again. Well we got pregnant again the very first month and I took a + hpt on July 29th. I had my first dr appt August 5th, and they said I had low progrestrone levels of 12. They put me on a progrestrone supplement and to repeat my blood work again. Well the day after I had my blood work retaken they called and said my progestrone levels were up to 51.0, but I had started bleeding. They wanted me to come in and have an u/s. They didn't see anything on the u/s, so it was determined that I had had a chemical pregnancy. This is our first loss, and I'm not for sure how to handle it. I know that it's wasn't meant to be, because God didn't want it to be, and I would much rather have something happen this early than to happen 3 or 4 months down the road. It's just something that you never really thought would happen to you, but when it does, it's devestating. Well we are going to wait until my cycle gets back on track and start TTC again. So keeping my fingers crossed everything goes like it should. Thanks for letting me tell my story.

  19. #199
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    11,909

    Default

    I'm very sorry for your loss Katherine I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy!


    Co-sleeping, baby-wearing, bfing, pumping, working ft mama.

  20. #200
    Angel_Marie1989 Guest

    Default

    Hello all my name is Angel Mendoza. I am 21 years old and have recentally went threw not 1 but 2 terriable heartbreaks one right after another! On June 24, 2009 i was 6 1/2 months pregante with my beautiful daughter Nevaeh Marie Mendoza well on the night on June 23rd i started hurting really bad and all at once started pouring of blood i was rushed to the hospital just to be treated so wrong and be kept sitting and waiting in an emergancy room for 1 hour begging for help bleeding and contracting with my baby girl slowly dieing inside of me the nurses there did not care! well long story short the next day at 12:08pm i gave birth to my little girl and after 5 short hours i lost her in the palm of my hand! well the doctor i had at the time really messed me up for life! he would not take care of me good and left me walking around for almost a month with pieces of the placenta growing inside of me destorying my insides i ended up going threw 5 dnc surgurys before he finally got it out i had to ALMOST go threw a hysterectomay well from his carlessness all them surgurys caused him to cut out ALL my mucles down there and i can not hold babies in without stiching i now have an incomptant cervix i found out the diganosis 7 SHORT moths later when i was preg with my second little girl Sophia everything was going fine and i had to pee real bad and she just slipped right out of me and i was holding her halfway inside of me while being rushed to the hospital by the emergancy squad and 12 hours later i had to give birth to her at only 5 1/2 months just for her to pass away slowly as well! so my question is there anyone out there who has an incompatant cervix who is willing to give me some advice on the whole stiching thing im so scared and CAN NOT go threw the pain of burrying another baby beside its baby sisters! with the stiching done will i still lose the next baby PLEASE HELP ME OUT

  21. #201

    Default

    My name is Chelsea and as you can see I had 3 miscarriages back to back. I'm still not able to fully talk about them. But I just wanted to share my story in hopes of having someone to talk to and helping someone else.

    06/09 12/09 04/10 01/11

  22. #202
    jodlee6 Guest

    Default My angel Alayna

    My husband and I lost our firstborn daughter during the early morning hours of Sunday, Sept 26, 2010 just 5 hours after having her. Here's my story...

    I started having contractions on Fri night (on Sun, I would've been 41 weeks). I was able to sleep from about 10p-2a. My water broke at home and we got to the hospital at around 5:40 pm. Everything was progressing as expected until the baby's heart rate started to drop. The midwife tried to put me in different positions, but nothing really worked so the midwife called for an emergency c-section. When we got down to the OR, the nurse went to put in my catheter when she realized that Alayna's head was showing...so, change of plans. I delivered vaginally (and drug free!) in the OR at 8:35. Alayna was perfectly healthy...7lbs 14 oz, 20 in. My husband missed her actual birth as he was put in a waiting room since he wasn't allowed in the OR since it was an emergency c-section. He walked in just after she was born.

    We were able to hold her and I nursed her before they took her down to the nursery to do their thing. Shortly after she came back to our room, our family left. All was going well, but she was getting fussy. At about midnight, I called for a nurse to help me get her latched on. This time, she wouldn't latch on the normal way with me sitting up or with me doing the "football hold" so the nurse had us side lay...success! We think the nurse probably left a little before 12:30 and Paul thinks we both fell asleep at 1ish. Around 1:30, another nurse came in (I think to get Alayna for routine blood work the pediatrician had ordered). I remember waking up, her asking me a question, and her taking Alayna in a panic. Next thing I know, a code was being called. We had no clue what was going on, but I just knew it wasn't good. Around 2:00, the ER doctor and 2 OB nurses came in to tell us the horrific news. They worked on her for 14 minutes, but were unable to bring her back...she was pronounced at 1:47 a.m. on 9/26. They had to call in the coroner and we weren't able to touch/hold her again. We said our goodbyes through the nursery glass window. Needless to say, my life will never be the same.

    My first thought after the nurse took her was "Oh my God. What did I do? Did I roll on top of her? Did I suffocate her?" Unfortunately, I was partially right. The autopsy came back listing the cause of death as "overlaying" which is basically suffocation. From what I've researched, it's normally caused when an adult rolls on top of a child. But, from what the nurse said, she found Alayna lying next to me with her head turned down into me and the mattress. (They think that she came unlatched and rolled in toward me--I believe a pillow was behind her back helping to prop her up so she probably wasn't able to roll onto her back.) This helped relieve a little guilt since I wasn't physically on top of her. But, I struggle with the fact that she was next to me, couldn't breathe, and I didn't know it because I was sleeping. It's a constant struggle for me... I'll always wonder why she didn't cry or turn her head...or why I didn't know she couldn't breathe.

    I know things like this are very, very rare. Mothers co-sleep with their babies all the time...they nurse in bed and fall asleep and everything is just fine. However, that wasn't intention. My only intention was to feed my child. Instead, I struggle with the guilt that I played a huge role in my child's death.

    I just want people to realize that things like this do happen. I want them to realize that they need to be extremely careful if they choose to do this...especially with an infant who can't roll out of the way. They need to find a way to stay awake...sit up in a hard chair, keep the lights/radio/tv on, make their husband talk to them...do something. I'm just hoping that my story will maybe one day save another family from the nightmare I am living.

  23. #203
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    11,909

    Default

    I'm very sorry for your loss.


    Co-sleeping, baby-wearing, bfing, pumping, working ft mama.

  24. Default

    Jodlee, I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss . It's not your fault, please don't blame yourself. (((HUGS)))
    Christine: Mommy to, Anthony 9.10, Caleb 8.7, Jacob 5.6, Katelynn our newbie and Our Angel Nevaeh 1/1/07-1/1/07

  25. #205
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    12,331

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    Jodlee6, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Many, many HUGS to you!
    Growing fast... DD1 (6) & DD2 (4)
    Forever loved, forever missed... Twin Girls with us for 19w3d 6/12/06

  26. #206
    Kidra Risirthid Guest

    Default

    So, I was about 6 weeks pregnant (and had no clue) until yesterday, when I started having horrible cramps. I'm on the pill, and I was 3 days into the sugar pills without having a period. I started bleeding, so I figured I'd put in a tampon as usual and go on with my day. By the time I got to my sister's orchestra concert I was doubled over in pain, near to tears, trying to keep my composure to support her. And I mean, come on, it's just cramps, I can handle this.
    Then I got home and my boyfriend came over. I went to the restroom and removed my tampon. Along with it came this nasty, fleshy thing that looked similar to dead clams I used to see in the lake. At first I was like "what the hell?" Then I started thinking. For several weeks I'd been showing symptoms of pregnancy. Then I was like "sh!t, I just miscarried, what am I gonna do?" So, being me, I flushed it, cleaned up, and went back into the living room like nothing had happened. I later told the father (My boyfriend) and he is being very supportive.

    But my problem is, even though I know I do not want a child yet, I could not have taken care of it, and I am batter off without it, I can't help but keep thinking "It was far along enough to have a heart beat. I didn't know and by not knowing I didn't take care of it and that little heart beat stopped and I just flushed it away like nothing." It also is kind of ironic that it happened 2 days before mothers day...

    So, that's my story.

  27. #207

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lukeskristie View Post
    How do you ladies do it...live? I miss my Laython every moment. I've had to start on Zoloft to get my emotions under control. I have 5 other people that need me to not be crying at the blink of an eye. Ya'll are strong women and I am in awe of you all.
    I wouldn't say that I was always strong. I was on the edge and suicidal when Harley first died and was also on Zoloft. I just had to keep telling myself that I had a daughter that needed her mommy. It's never OK that you lost a child, but it does get easier. It's been 6 years since I lost my boy and I still have times where depression sneaks up on me. But, I'm not nearly as bad as I was. I can talk about him and what happened now, most times without crying. The only thing I can say is give it time.
    My Harley Angel 12/13/2004-03/18/2005

  28. #208

    Default

    Hi every one.want to thank all the support i got from you guys, after 1 year of the loss of my baby i gave birth to a baby boy know is 2 years old. he is adorable, but still remember my loss cant get over with, my sister lost a baby to and it happen on the same date as mine,

  29. #209

    Default Share my story

    I think it is good to share ....

    I am 37 had my first M/c in 2007 at 12 weeks - took a long time to get p.g. again but gave birth to a healthy happy little boy who is now 2 and 5 mths and is a joy.

    Its funny when I had no kids I couldn't understand how desperate people got to have another when they already had one...how silly I was having one makes you realise how amazing they really are.

    I got PND after my little boy as I had such a terrible birth experience and took my husband and I a long time to feel strong enough to try again. We were very fortunate to get p.g. fairly quickly this time but at 7 wks all my pg. symptoms have gone and I am starting to get cramps I am sad and scared last time I had a D&C the thought of going through a mc naturally really scares me. I did tell my doctor last week I knew something not right but he said unless I bleed nothing he can do (caring). So I am going to try and get to my doctors tomorrow but what is going to happen will happen I am just not sure how brave I can be about all this.

  30. #210

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kpzibell View Post
    Hello, my name is Krissy. I am 32 and am married to a wonderful man, Walter, who is 35. Here is our history.

    In September 2007 my husband and I found out that we were pregnant for the first time. We were so excited! I had implantation bleeding and morning nausea. About a week later I started heavy bleeding. I went to the doctor immediately and had the full workup. At that time we were only about 6 weeks along. Had the ultrasound and saw the heartbeat, so my worries went down tremendously. I did bed rest the entire weekend and had my OB workup the following week. I went in for my exam and the doctor decided to do another US just to show me all was well. Turns out there was no baby at all!! I had miscarried during the heavy bleeding, even though I saw a heartbeat and the doctor told me I was fine. I had tons of labs done, but no real answers came from them. I was told that miscarriages just sometimes happen. Ok. (Did I mention that my father died the week prior to my OB visit, so I thought that some massive stress is what caused my miscarriage). The doctors think I made it to about week 7.

    A few months later we were pregnant again. Wonderful! Same as the last pregnancy. Implantation spotting & nausea full on. A little nervous because of my history but I try to stay calm. Several weeks later the heavy bleeding starts again. I rush to the doctor, they do an US, see the heartbeat, say all is OK, and send me home. The bleeding lasts for 5 days. I go back to the doctor for the follow up and just know that I've miscarried. (All of energy was back up and nausea was gone). The doctor does some blood work (quant Hcg) and sure enough I had miscarried again. This time we made it to week 8.

    Walter and I took some time off for just us. We starting TTC later in 2008 and in April 2009 we were pregnant. Woo Hoo! After the 2nd miscarriage bloodwork, the drs thought they knew what was going on. I had a low progesterone level. So the cure? Take Prometrium (progesterone). Ok. Well I did. I had to have US's every 2 weeks to follow the progress of the pregnancy, annoying but I would do anything to ensure the outcome. I go for my 8 week US and find out that the babies are fine. Yes, I am pregnant with twins. Holy crap is about the only thing I can say. After the initial shock, I am elated. All is going fine. At week 10 I noticed a brownish discharge and think nothing of it because I have an appt for the next day for an US. My husband and I go to the appt and the tech cannot find a heartbeat on either baby. After about an hour (rude and annoying) the doctor comes in the room to deliver the news that I've just had my 3rd miscarriage. I decide to do a D&C because honestly I couldn't imagine waiting to miscarry naturally. I have the D&C the next day and am set up with a specialist for follow up.

    I go see the maternal/fetal specialist and they do tons of more labs. Apparantly they do not consider people to have a problem continuing a pregnancy until you've had atleast 3 miscarriages. Well wonderful for me! The doctors finally think they have an answer, I have phosphalipid antibodies, they think. The treatment for that is to take 2 aspirins daily. (If my condition gets worse it could mean injecting anticoagulants daily). This all happened in June 09. So after we got the green light to start TTC again we've been doing exactly that. Well now I'm not ovulating. My GYN thinks that it's due to my D&C...a year ago. So I've been trying to get pregnant for a year and the whole time I'm not ovulating!!! Now I'm on fertilty medicine to try to help that. So please keep us in your prayers that this medicine will work and I'll be on my way to having some babies.

    I know that my post is very long, but there are not a whole lot of people in my life that understand what I'm going through. I want kids so very badly and, at 32, feel like it's never going to happen. So thank you for all who read this. I really appreciate it and am glad to talk to people that understand what I'm going through.

    Krissy[/FONT]
    Hi my friend has the same thing - lost 3 babies but then they realised what was wrong and she now has two healthy children xx

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