Thank you so much for your kind words newmommie, they really do help.
I'm so very sorry for your loss as well.
Thank you so much for your kind words newmommie, they really do help.
I'm so very sorry for your loss as well.
Starting at the beginning....
DH had a vasectomy reversal in April of 2003. It was a long shot because he had his vasectomy done over 15 years ago. We decided we still wanted to try the surgery and see what happened. At first there was nothing, and we tested every 6 months....then we got biological matter which turned into a few swimmers. We still held off on trying for a baby because I wasn't "ready." In January of 2006 I went off all of my medicines for rheumatoid arthritis (one of which is methotrexate) and we waited 9 months (just to be sure they were completely out of my system) before we started trying. We found out we were pregnant on Thanksgiving this year - and were ECSTATIC to say the least.
On Monday Nov 27th, my HcG was 195. On Thursday Nov 30th it was 273 (not a good jump like it should have done) and then on Monday Dec. 4th it was 495. The doctor told me then that this was not a healthy pregnancy and that it was just a matter of time before I miscarried, it just hadn't happened yet. The next day it started. Yesterday (Dec. 7th) was a painful day - physically. The doctor had said that it wouldn't be any worse than a normal period - it was far worse. I couldn't walk upright at all - and my poor DH begged me to let him take me to the ER but I refused. Emotionally I had somewhat prepared myself for the m/c. Today it's pretty much over, not near as much pain and cramping as yesterday.
This was our first try for a baby and we were looking forward to telling our families as their Christmas presents. As far as our families know we can't even have children - so this was going to be biggest "Punk'd" ever! We might try again one of these days, but I'm worried that this was our one chance. Only time will tell I guess.
Sorry - I meant to say that my last HcG was 408, not 495.
I lost my baby last week, december 13th.
I was 7 weeks along.
I am 38. childless and dating a 41 year old man with 2 kids of his own. We have them with us every other week.
My DBF was ok with the idea of having another when we started dating, but as time passed, he sorta changed his mind. I remained with him anyways, I was and still am so much in love with him. I was hopeful he'd change his mind. I was 36 when we began dating. We bought a house together in 2005, he wanted a 3 bedroom house in "case" we decide to have a kid together (so the possibility was there).
September 2006, I was diagnosed with abnormal cells in my cervix and needed to be tested. With the IUD, i couldnt be tested, it needed to be removed. My Af were also very abundant. And, I did not wish to wear an IUD anymore. I'd been using one for over 10 years...
I had the IUD removed in april 2006.
First, DBF avoided sex al together (but not for long). Then he was pulling out. In july, I was sick for 2 weeks and he took care of me, he said he feared loosing me and realised how much he loved me. He stopped preventing pg. I had no idea if I was fertile. I decided to temp, and I realised i was O'in.
I got my BFP in nov 2006.
DBF was not happy but NEVER blamed me in anyway. He was so shocked by the PG that he wanted to leave me. Then he realised he would never leave but, didn't have time to let me know....
...i started spotting on a sunday nite, lost the baby 4 days later.
The very first day of spotting, We saw the foetus and hb on the screen at the ER, my HCG levels were normal.
I am very sad and angry now. I think this loss changed something in my DBF. I have a tiny hope he will want to TTC... but it is slim.
my situation is special, i fear he will never let us become pg again... my challenge is difficult, i may have to abandon him and my house. all this is NO certainty of having a child. How can I even conceive makin a baby with another man while I am so in love with this one
i pray, and pray everyday, every FIVE minutes that he changes his mind. :roll:
Danic, I am so sorry for your loss. I can tell from your post how deeply you want a child and I'm sorry that your situation makes that complicated. I do understand the desire for a child and how it's not something that you can take away or ignor. I think you just have to follow your heart and have faith that it will work out. Maybe after the holidays and the shock of the pg and m/c wear off you can have a conversation about the relationship and what you each expect from it. Take care, I know this is a hard time for you. (HUGS) - Laura
I had my first m/c on 11/02/02. I was 17 years old and had just broke up with my boyfriend at the time (the baby's father) We decided to try and work things out. He got abussive one night and ended up going to jail. A couple days later I had an ultrasound to make sure the baby was okay and there was no sign of a heartbeat.
I chose to let the m/c happen on it's own and declined the D&C. It took a very long time for me to get over that one.
My second m/c was in October of 2005. I started spotting a couple days after I got my BFP. I knew immediatly that it was another m/c. Andy took me to the ER and I had an ultrasound. Sure enough there was nothing there.
3 months later I got another BFP. I didn't let myself get attached and prepared myself for the worst with that pregnancy. It turned out to be a healthy, flawless pregnancy and I gave birth to my son Ethan on 10/15/06 at 9lbs 6oz and 22inches long. He is a very healthy and bright baby and the absolute joy and love of my life.
It all started on Christmas day. I woke up not felling well and was kind of depressed all day long. What is usually one of the happiest days of the year for me was one of the worst. But all in all I held myself together for my family and my boys and went on about my day. I hadn't felt any movement from the baby but just chalked it off to the fact that I was very busy. Well things calmed down for the day and when we got home it was about 9:30 in the evening and I was ready for bed after such a stressful day. So my husband and I put our boys to bed and were in bed ourselves by 10:00. I laid there and tossed and turned and had my hands on my belly but couldn't feel any movement. I told my husband that I was starting to get worried because I couldn't feel the baby move and he said that it was probably just that the baby was sleeping because we had such an active day. Well I accepted that and turned over and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning to start a new day and laid there for about 15 minutes before getting up and still felt no movement. I called my husband at work to let him know and he told me to schedule a doctors appointment to get checked out. I told him that I had an apointment for 4:15 anyway and I would just keep that apointment, but if I started feeling any pain or anything that I would call him to come home and we would go immediately. Well I went on about my day taking care of my kids and doing housework as I normally would. I put my boys down for a nap and decided to lay down myself. About 5 minutes of laying there on my back and I suddenly got a big surprize. My little one just let out a big huge kick and that was it. I laughed and told her thanks for about giving mommy a heart attack and rubbed my belly and told her how much I loved her. I called my husband and told him that everything was fine and layed there and took a little nap until my boys were ready to get up. Shortly after my husband came home from work and I headed off to my doctors appointment. I got there and got to see the doctor right away. It was late in the afternoon and I was the last patient for the day. The doctor came in and asked how I was doing and I told him that I felt a little tired but other than that I was fine. I laid back and he put the doppler on my tummy to listen to the baby. He searched for about 2 minutes and found nothing but my heartbeat. So he said well I bet she is just turned in a bad position and the doppler is just not picking it up. He said lets get a quick peak just so we know that everything is ok. I laid down on the ultrasound table and he started the ultrasound, and within 30 secounds he was shaking his head and said i'm sorry hun but your baby has passed away. It was the worst feeling that I could ever imagine. I told him that was impossible because I had just felt her move 2 hours before that. He said that it looked as if it had just happened within the last 30 minutes. How could this be I had done everything right. I called my husband and my family and they were all there within 30 minutes. The doctor sent me to the hospital to get labor induced. And they started the medicine right away but told me that the process could take anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. So I laid there in that hospital for 6 days in so much pain and with a broken heart. And finally I was starting to dialate and things went very fast. I was checked at 9:30 in the evening and was at 3 cm dialated. The nurses gave me some Ambien (sleep meds) and told me to try and get some rest. I laid there til about 11:30 and was in so much pain that I couldn't take it anymore. So I called for the nurse and asked for some pain meds. She checked me to see if I had progressed anymore and sure enough I was 7cm and my bag of waters was ready to pop. They called the doctor and she was there within 15 minutes. She told me when I was ready we could do this. I told her I was ready and so she poped my bag of waters and with the next contraction and a very strong push I delivered my beautiful baby girl. She was so tiny but perfect in every way to me. I held her for about 30 minutes and just cried. The hurt was so bad. We decided to name her Neveah Grace. Neveah is Heaven spelled backwards and she is our little angel in heaven so the name was perfect for her. I had her at 12:07 in the morning on 1/1/2007. She weighed 10 oz and was 12 inches long. I am doing preety well and have a wonderful family who are very supportive and helpful. And I also still have my boys who need me to stay strong and continue being their mommy. I have attached a couple of pics of my beautiful angel below.
My husband and I started TTC a couple of years after we were married. We got a BFP 2 months after going off the pill and our DS was born 9 months later. When he was three we started TTC #2; it took us 18 months of actively trying and then 9 months later our DD was born. Both times we had virtually no issues and relatively smooth deliveries.
When my DD was 10 months old I was diagnosed with Graves disease and had to stop nursing and have my thyroid burned out with radioactivity. Sense then...nothing but problems...
We started TTC to conceive # 3 when DD was 1 year old...thinking it would take us a while as it did with her. She is now 4.5 years old and I just suffered my 3rd miscarriage. The first 2 were relatively early @ 9 weeks and 5 weeks. This one ended in a D&C when I was just shy of 14 weeks. The baby had died at 13.5 weeks. I had a healthy heartbeat the day before. I had 5 ultrasounds all showing exactly right measurements and appropriate development. I was on a cocktail of glucaphage, and clomid to get pregnant and then started progesterone when I got the BFP. We thought maybe we'd found an answer.
The kicker is we spent the whole first trimester telling ourselves this probably wouldn't work out...don't buy in...don't get to excited...don't tell anyone...
Then on Christmas Eve we tell DS and DD they are going to have a little brother or sister...everyone was so excited.
It's hard to believe it actually happened. The anger and disappointment I feel is overwhelming. I feel like I am grieving the end of something...I just don't know if I can do this again and at the same time...I just can't believe I won't have anymore children.
We have consented to another round of lab work and testing on baby that just died. My OB wants to see if anything shows abnormal with the clotting issues and such and then get pregnant with an RE overseeing...I just don't know what to do...
When I read all your stories; I was so sad for you. I can feel your physical pain. Does it help to know you aren't alone? It helps me a little...not everyone can understand...
Well, since we are doing intros i Haven't posted this yet, so here it goes
I am 27 and my DH is 26. We have been married almost 2 years and started trying in april of 06 to have a baby. In oct 06 I went to the ob/gyn and he told me to start doing ovulation kits, and he did an progesterone test that month too. He called and said everything was good----we did the kit in oct and nov and found out i was pregnant nov 27th. We of course told everyone we know b/c we were soooo excited. On december 6th i started spotting some red blood, not a lot, but enough so i called the doc---he made me come in on the 7th and did bloodwork on the 6th at the hospital-----he checked me out on the 7th, put me on prenatal vitamins and said everything looked good, a little spotting is ok, and he put me on bed rest until the bleeding stopped. I went back to work on the 12th, and on the 13th i woke up with cramps and pretty steady bleeding. I went to work at 12:30pm and by 1pm i called my dr who told me to immediately go to the hospital, get an ultrasound and bloodwork and get back on bedrest. I went in on the 14th to see the dr and he said he was concerned for a tubal because the radiologist went over my u/s and there was never anything in the uterus( i had an u/s a week and a half before) so he suggested he do a d and c right then and there and so he did that. with no medication or anesthia-------it sucked.
now my DH and i are just waiting to try again-----i am praying for a thanksgiving or christmas baby----------
LOTS OF STICKY BABY DUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barbara and Rebecca, I'm so sorry for your losses. I hope that you find this board comforting to you both.
Here is my story: I will try to keep it short.
My husband and I had been dating for 2 months when he asked me to marry him. I was still in school and my dad didn't want us to get married until I graduated. Of course, we didn't want to wait that long, but we would because my dad had asked us to wait. The beginning of January, I found out that I was pregnant. We finally got up the courage to tell both sets of parents. We knew they wouldn't be happy because it wasn't a planned pregnancy. My dad was not happy at first. He said that I would never finish school. We decided that we would get married at the court house and then have a ceremony later. My sister's decided that we needed a ceremony as soon as posible. One of my sister's let us have the ceremony in her front yard. Every thing with this pregnancy went well. I had my son on Sept. 2003. He is now 3 years old.
During my last year in college, my husband and I had talked about having another child. I hadn't been on birth control for awhile becuase my husband lost his job and the insurance with his new job was way too much money. We never decided when we would start trying, but if we got pregnant we would be happy. My last period was in January 2006. When it was time for my next period, it never came. I started to test at the end of January. I would take a test every week to every week and a half. Every test I took at home was negitive. During this time, I felt terrible. I knew something was wrong. I took the last hpt on Sunday before I went to the doctor on Tuesday. Again, this one was negitive. My husband stayed at home with me that Tuesday and I called my supervising teacher and told her that I was going to go to the doctor. I went in and told the nurse that I hadn't had my period since January and every test I had done at home was negitive. I also told her that my stomach had been acting up as well. Anytime I was hungry I would go and try to eat something, but didn't have an appitite. They did a test in the office and it was positive. I went home and called my ob and told them my situation. I went in for my first visit with the prenatal nurse. At that appointment we scheduled my next appointment for a pap and a ultrasound. During the my week of spring break in April, I was practicing for my piano exam that I had to pass to graduate. That Monday, I went to the bathroom and when I wiped there was brown blood on tissue. I called my mom and she said she didn't think there was anything to worry about, but I should keep a watch over it. This kept on for the next hour. I never had any on my underwear, it was only on the tissue when I would wipe. I finally called the doctors office and they decided that I needed to come in and have an ultrasound done. When I went in the doctor wasn't able to find heartbeat on the ultrasound. Since they didn't have anything to compare it with, I do not know how many weeks I had been pregnant or for how many weeks the baby had stopped growing. After talking to my husband and my mom, I decided that I would have the D&C. The doctor told us that we needed to wait two cycles before we started to try again.
We decided to wait until August to start trying again. September came and went and I got my period. October came and went and I didn't get a period. We started testing the first week in November. I took four tests within a span of two weeks. All four of the test were negitive. I had started to worry again. This was how I started the last time. I finally was able to get a positive result, but it was very faint. I called the doctor and scheduled my first visit. I took another test before I went to the doctor a couple days later. That one was also very faint. I was worried that they would determine that I wasn't pregnant. I went into the doctors office and they did my test and took me back to the prenatal nurse. As soon as I walked in her office I asked her what their test had said. She told me that I wouldn't be in her office if the test was negitive. We scheduled my ultrasound and pap for Dec. 4th. I went in for the u/s and was able to see and hear a heartbeat. The baby was measuring 6 weeks and 2 days. We thought we were in the clear because we had seen a heartbeat. I went in for my 10 week check-up at 11 weeks due to the death of my father. We thought we were going to be able to hear the heartbeat with the doppler. The doctor came in and wasn't able to find it. He said that it was normal for them not to be able to pick up a heart beat this early, but he wanted me to have a u/s. So we went back and he wasn't able to find the heartbeat. He said that the baby was measuring at 7 weeks. My baby stopped growing the week after my first u/s. I was devastated. I had just burried my father and now I knew that my dad would get to see my baby before I did. Because this time we were not able to qualify for medicaid, we decided that we would wait and let the miscarriage come naturally.
I started to miscarry on Jan. 12. It was the worst thing I have had to go through. I have a doctors appointment this Friday to see if I have passed everything. I am worried that I haven't becuase I am still bleeding. Some days it is light, like a normal period, but others when there is a lot more than a normal period.
There are days when I think I am okay with what has happened, but then I will see someone with a baby or I will see someone that is pregnant and break down crying again. I didn't think I had that many tears in me.
Thanks for listening. I think that telling my story has helped. I will let everyone know what the doctor tells me on Friday.
mcurfman - I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby and for the loss of your dad. No one should have to go through both of those things so closely together. I hope that you find the comfort and support you need here on this board.
My husband and I ttc for over a year and finally got a positive pg test in August/95. I was so excited, having a baby was all I ever had wanted. I told everyone. At around 5 weeks I started spotting and went to my F Dr, who sent me immeditately to an OB/GYN. They did an U/S but then told me they wanted another blood test and sent me home. My levels kept increasing so the dr ordered another U/S. I drank my 60oz of water and had the u/s done and then was asked to wait around for the results. The dr cld and std the pg wasn't normal and I had surgery scheduled the next day. I was under the knife for about 5 hours because they did not know where the pg was. They finally found it in my left tube. My Ob std my tubes looked great and that he didn't know why I had a tubal pg. He std I needed to wait 6 months before trying again.
I got pg the first shot after my six months. My pg was not easy but ending up having a c section and had a beautiful baby girl. We decided to wait about 4 years before trying again. So in June 2000 I got pg and delivered another beautiful girl in March 01. In my heart I have always wanted a baby boy and was not ready to give up. My husband even had a vasectomy schedule and a few days before hand I had him cancel.
I just recently moved to Colorado in July 06 where we bought a new home. About 3 months ago we talked and I informed him I wanted to try for another baby in the hopes of getting a boy. On the third month we were successfull. I was so excited again but cautious with everything I went through. I was exactly 4 weeks pg when I did a hpt but later that day I had a very watery brown discharge and then it didn't happen again. After calling the maternal fetal dr that I was referred to they std I wasn't high risk enough for their practice and they referred me to someone else. The following week on T I saw the midwife and she did an urine test and internal exam. She std I wasn't pg and I told her I know my own body and that I was. She ordered the blood test stat and cld me 2 hours later and std yes I was. She wanted to have another blood test done on TH to make sure my levels were increasing, which they did. They std they could not order an u/s yet b/c it was too early. On sunday at 5w/2d I started to spot, which I did not with my normal pg. I cld my dr and some other dr on call cld me back and std I was only 5 weeks and shouldn't worry. The spotting continued and I cld my dr the next day and she ordered a high tech u/s at the hospital. After the u/s I was sent back to the dr and she said they could not find a sac. She then did another blood test and my levels were increasing as normal. They wanted to do another u/s in one week. At 6w/3d I found myself at the hospital again doing another u/s and the radiologist std I need to wait for the results. The radiologist dr cld me back and I started crying immeditiatly. She knew I knew that it was another ectopic pg. This time in my right tube. I was sent directly to surgery, where i questioned can't they treat it with methotextrate instead of surgery. Low and behold the dr that come in was the dr that I spoke to a week ago on sunday who discounted my belief of what was happening. He std he would not treat me with medication only surgery. I had no other choice, I was afraid if I waited my tube might rupture and then ruin my chances of trying to have another baby. He told me I was damaged and that we should just take everything out, even before he went inside to assess the damage. I informed him I wanted my tube saved if at all possible. The next day my dr came in to check on me and I was telling her what had happened and what was said from the other dr and she std the reason they could not treat me with methotextrate was b/c they saw the h/b on the u/s. I felt even more devastated.
I want another baby so bad. I can't figure out what is wrong with my body and why these things happen. I have read all of your stories and mine does not even come close to those that have lost later in pg. I feel sorry for all that have losted, I am just feeling a little depressed right now, it has only been 6 days since my loss. I feels good to tell my story and I pray to God that he will bless me with another child. Thanks to all for the support I have received so far and I hope to get pg again at 6 months.
Hi, I've just found the APA over the last few weeks. I wish I would have known about you wonderful ladies sooner! Here's my story, I'll try to keep it short:
DH and I married in May of '02. We waited a year to start trying and on the 1st month we were blessed with a BFP in May of '03. My mother was fighting ovarian cancer @ the time, and I was so excited to tell her she was going to have a grandbaby! Overall, my preg was pretty textbook. I had a baby shower on 12/14/03 with family at my mom's house and she lost her fight with OVCA on 12/18/03. I was 7 mo. along and scared to death that my grieving would hurt the baby. All of my fears went unrealized, and I had a beautiful baby girl on March 7, 2004 by emergency c.
Everything was going well and DH and I decided that we wanted time TTC so that the next baby would be about 2 years apart. I don't know how I didn't notice, but by Aug. '05 I realized AF had not visited since before DD. So we saw the OB, who forced a cycle and we started Clomid. In Jan '06, I got a BFP...we were exicited, figured we tell family @ DD's 2nd bday party. The week before Valentine's day we had U/S, they had a hard time finding a HB, but eventually did. That weekend I started spotting. By Monday afternoon I was in the hospital waiting for a D&C. I never expected to feel so empty afterwards. But DH and I got thru it and just focused on DD.
After 2 cycles, in May '06 we got the okay from OB to start TTC again. AF was late Sept and I took a HPT it was negative. A week later I got what I thought was AF. Two weeks later I awaken in the middle of the night with the worst abdomonial pain on my left side. I go to the ER to a) find out I'm pregnant, b) find out its ectopic, and c) have emergency surgery because the tube has ruptured. I wake up shocked, scared, and angry. I lost my left tube, I lost my baby, but at least I'm still here to take care of DD.
So after all this rambling that's my story...I hope it wasn't too long or detailed. DH and I are again TTC, perhaps April will be our month.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. You have gone through so much. I hope that things turn around and you have a perfectly healthy pregnancy in the months to come.
hmm where to start. My fiance and i met in High School. we have 2 beautiful boys together. My oldest who is 7 , then i got pg again when he was 1, I lost my daughter Lily at 18 weeks and 2 days. We were Lucky enough to concieve again soon after and have my 4 yr old. He was such a DIFFICULT pregnancy!!! I had complete previa, was on bedrest at 6 mos and he was born at 35 weeks. After fighting with his pediatrician tellin ghim that something was wrong with him.. oh and he explained it away as 2nd children are different. A momma knows her kids! i switched doctors and told the new one everything that has been going on and he has since been diagnosed with a high functioning form of Autism. Which is in its own way is a godsend bc now he is soo much better and is getting the therapies he needs. Last Fall i was PG again and lost the baby at 6 weeks 2 days 12/28/06. I got another positive test at the end of March and we were SO excited! This was gonna be our christmas baby! After bleeding on sat i went to the ER and have had 2 HCG count tests which are not rising at all with cramps and spotting.I had a 3rd one today and I'm hoping for the best but I have at this point basically accepted that this is just happening again. Motherhood is such a wonderful oppurtunity, its times like these i really cherish the double blessing that has been bestowed on me already. Although I do have a yearning for another one even more now then before but I have faith that it will happen when it is meant to. I am so glad i found these boards, Thank you Lisah! i wish i could have found them earlier Nice to meet you all
Diva - I'm very sorry for your losses. I hope that things take a turn for the better with this pregnancy.
It's heartbreaking to read all of your stories, yet it gives me strength for what I am about to go thru.
I am blessed with 3 beautiful healthy children. They are young, all a year apart. We really weren't planning on any more children, so I got an IUD as it seemed to be the best form of birth control available for us.
I realized late last week that AF was late. I took a HPT yesterday and was shocked, but not suprised, when it was positive. Because of the IUD I immediately called my OB who schedlued me for an appt. today. I had an ultrasound and it was discovered that I have an ectopic pregnancy in my left tube. I will be having a chemically induced miscarriage on Friday. Once I receive the shot, the miscarriage can occur anywhere from 1-4 weeks later. Waiting is going to be the hardest part. Just knowing that I am carrying a child that I won't carry to term is breaking my heart. But I have to be strong for my trio.
I did have a miscarriage in 2003, but it was very early. I had only tested positive 3 days before I miscarried. Had I not tested, I probably would never even have realized that I was pregnant and thought it was just a late, heavy period.
Hugs to all of you for your losses.
Im new to this Forum but I also benn a member on here for a few weeks. I usaully stay in the teen parenting section because i came on when i thought i was a few weeks ago. I wasnt but Im here to share my m/c that will be a year ago August 25 2007.
some have heard about it but im finally ok to totally share the full story and my feelings. i still remember the day easly and it still hurts but ive gotten over the main part now.
Little over a year ago when i was only 15 my mom found out i wasnt a virgin. when it came out i was dating a guy that was 17 turning 18 in december. she tryied to get me to break up with him and to keep me away from him as much as possible but i wouldnt let it happen.
to get her to calm down some i made a appointment at planned parenthood in my area to go on depo and get checked and all. i had her go with me and started depo and everything but things didnt really change between me and my mom. my bf at the time wanted to see me really badly and i wanted to see him so i some how talked my mom to let me see him.
well i ended up over at his house for a weekend and i wasnt sure about having sex with him because i had only been on the depo for 2 weeks and didnt feel that it would fully work but i pushed my feeling away and let everything happen that weekend. the stuff a 15 year old probly shouldnt be doing any ways.
we had sex only twice that weekend and after i went home sunday i was ok with everything that happened until he called me. he lived in a city next to the one i was in so he took the easy way out. he dumped me over the phone basically using me for my body. i was so hurt by everything i felt numb for the next two weeks.
i started doing my extra school stuff aka band camp but not like the movies like everyone jokes about. i spent two weeks doing the activity i loved to do which is tall flags for marching band. i was so happy to be around the people i could easily get along with.
one week after our camp started at our school i realized i was still feeling funny thinking it was from my shot of depo. but i knew in the back of my head it wasnt but let it go and ignored it. well after the second week of camp i strted what i thought was just a normal period for being on depo.
it was very small amounts of spotting and just did what i noraml would do if i was on my period even tho it was spoting. but as the week went on it got a little more but with no cramps. but on friday that week it got really bad.
i started bleeding very heavly and the cramps were so bad that none of the extra strength pain killers around the hosue that we had wouldnt work. i took extremly hot baths all day trying to make some of the pain go away. by 9 that night i was crying and was about to tell my mom something was really wrong and i thought i needed to go to the doctors.
but my mom had already went to bed for the night and i was stuck in my bathroom about 30 feet down the hall and i knew i couldnt move much.. so i put as much hot water in the tub as i could and layed in it crying in a ball. about 30 minutes later i was finally able to move and stop crying to try to do something. but as i tryied to get out of the bath my stomic tightened and i mc. it scared me so bad. i seen everything that separated from the blood and realized what jsut fully happened.
i didnt want to move from where i was. it had been little over a month since the guy i was with had dumped me and there i was mc-ing his baby and mine. i told my mom what happended in the bath room as of the blood and everything but i couldnt let myself tell her exactly that i had mc-ed. ive been ashamed for jsut about a year now that i didnt go to the doctors and everything else so i wouldnt have been alone.i think about thw what ifs of it all alot still. i could be holding a baby right about now but instead im not.
im able to realize now that it wasnt my fault that i mc but it still hurts. the pain he put me threw and the pain i went threw alone. i cant wait until i get out of highschool and college and find the right guy to marry and have kids with. i want to be able to ttc in about 10 years so i can have my family and be able to hold my own baby.
this forum has let me finally tell my whole story and not just the little details of o he dumped me and the i mc . i hope i wasnt to graphic with it but most of you have had simaliar exprences.
thanks for opening this so me and everyone else could let go and tell our stories.
Hi, My name is Kari, Im new here. I lost my baby on September 6, 2007. I am 24 years old.
I cant say that I was hit with a crazy joy stick when I found out I was pregnant. I was happy but fearful. However, I got excited pretty quickly after finding out I was pregnant.
My husband and I had been trying for 4 years to concieve and I had just about given up..when the test came back positive. I was overwhelmed. We just bought a house, a new puppy and OMG Im pregnant.
I knew that I was high risk because I had a stroke at the age of 18, so I called my doctor immediatly. After some testing everything was ok, and I remember feeling Great..I was sooo happy! However, my first sono came back with terrible results. There was no baby..but my doctor said that I should come back in a week and have another sono. He said not to worry and I would be fine.
Well I went back in week and my gut knew something was wrong. The doctor suggested that I have a D&C. I cannot put into words what it felt like...Im sure you all know.
So a week ago tomarrow I lost my first baby. Im still really sad, depressed, angry, confused, greatful and a hole host of other feelings.
I go back and forth with thinking we'll try again after 6 weeks and never trying again. I cant wait to be off this emotional rollercoaster. I suppose I'll go/do whatever/whereever god leads me.
So, am I happy about being here, typing this..NO! Probably no one is. However, I am so Greatful that I found this...so greatful Im not alone and beyond greatful that I have a place to come to be...well...me.
I'm 28 and found out I was pregnant for the first time on Aug 28. My DH and I were so excited that we did it on our first try! We told our families and closest friends.
I went in for my 1st u/s at 7 wks and found out I was earlier than they thought. We figured that it was about right, given my unusual cycle and didn't really worry about anything.
The next week I went in for my 2nd u/s at 8 wks. We were able to see the fetal pole but they had a hard time finding the heartbeat. My dr was finally able to find it but it was a low 98 bps. He also told me that I had enlarged yolk sac and that things did not look good.
I went in for my 3rd u/s the next week at 9 wks. The baby had grown but was measuring small. The fhr had also dropped to 86 bps. We were able to see the little heart beating away but could tell that the heart had an irregular rhythm.
That day I started spotting and went home from work early bc I was having bad cramping. I called my dr the next morning and they got me in right away. On Sept. 26 another u/s showed that the baby's heart had stopped. I was 9 wks, 2days.
My doctor gave me the option to go home and let things happen naturally or I could have a D&C the next morning. I had been on such a roller coaster the entire time that I decided to have the D&C the next morning so it could be over and I could start over again. And I was in a lot of pain that he told me would be over if I had the D&C.
It's been only three days since I found out that my lil pea went to heaven. I was fine when I had someone here with me, but yesterday I was home alone and it was one of the worst days. Not to mention that I received a congratulations card in the mail - that did not make things any better (although I knew this person had NO clue).
I've had the support of family and friends and I think the person who has helped the most was my sister. She has been through this before and knows that the best way to help me is just to be there. She knows that no words can help, only time.
It helps to get all of this written down, although it doesn't make it any easier at this point. I'm thankful that my DH has been extremely supportive and has been my rock.
I am very blessed to have two heathy boys, Brendon is 3 and Ty is almost 2. They truely are the light of my life!
DH and I have decided we would like to have another child and began TTC in January of '07. I got pg the first try and m/c a week later. My Dr. told me after my blood test that my levels did drop like they should but my progesterone was pretty low.
So, in July of '07 I decided that I was ready to try again and got pg. My Dr. sent me in to get my hcg tested every other day. My levels never incresed, on the second test they dropped slightly and my Dr. told me that I would in fact have a m/c. I found that so hard to believe because I wasn't cramping or spotting at all. I did start to m/c 2 days later. That was the hardest part, waiting for it to happen. The first time around was scary, not knowing if I was losing the baby, but the second time knowing it was going to happen was so hard.
Now I feel I am ready to try again, part of me wants to try again and part doesn't. My Dr. is one that doesn't test until after 3 so if it happens again I will get some answers hopefully. He has faith it will 'happen' since I have two very uneventful pregnancies. But after much research, I know that that isn't always the case.
Here is the best of luck to all of us TTC'ers out there!
Its so sad to think about all of the families who have faced this. Each has touched my heart deeply.
I experienced a miscarriage the day after Thanksgiving, 2006. I only knew I was pregnant a few days before it was over. I guess God had other plans since the baby would have been due the month after my husband and I got married. I suppose it would actually be a chemical pregnancy since I never even made it to the doctor.
For that short time I was blessed. Doubly, since I have only one ovary from cancer and I wasn't even sure I could become pregnant.
So, I think of our baby as a messenger in my life. I call him/her Ariel.
Ariel means "God's Lion".... better strong in heaven than weak on earth.
Last edited by learningasigo; 12-23-2008 at 08:38 AM.