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  1. #211
    Suitefox Guest

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    This i copied from a site i tried to put it on but they wouldnt approve it....

    his is 3/12/12 and my story takes place between Jan 09 through Aug 09.
    2 days before my 26th birthday, i took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive! i was estatic. i had been trying for a long time to have a baby and after several (over 10) miscarriages and 2 tubals, i was hoping for the best. i got into my obgyn right away.. she did a inital u/s and found that the baby was in my cervix like it was suspoised to be so she put me as high risk b/c of my history. i started having real bad morning sickness and could hardly eat. i kept talking to my ob and she said just eat what i could when i could. at 20 weeks we went in and had the u/s to find out what we were having. It was gonna be a girl!!! i was so happy. Me and my boyfriend started going through names to see what we would like. we kept coming back to Rihana. when i got through the 2nd trimester the dr took me from high risk down to normal. We thought nothing could go wrong. On July 30th 2009 we went down for a routine visit at 32 weeks. Rihana had a habit of making it hard on the dr to find the heart beat but that day she couldnt get it at all… she said she wanted to be safe and do a u/s to see the baby.. she took me and my boyfriend (now husband) to the room for the u/s she put the goo on my belly and started to take a look at Rihana. My ob let us watch as she did the u/s, while we were watching i saw my baby girls heart… it wasnt beating, the dr left for a moment to get a couple other obs on the floor to come consult. it was then that she told us that she was gone… that was the lowest point in my life.. she wanted to admit me right then and there to the hospital to induce me.. i told her i had to go home first i could not tell my mom and my g-parents this news over the phone… Mt Husband drove me home. my family was sitting on the back porch when we got there, i didnt have to say anything they could tell something was wrong by the way i was acting. We told them the devastating news and told them that i had to get back down there that they wanted to induce me as soon as possible. when i got admitted and hooked up to everything. they found out i had pre eclampsya and my blood pressure was really worring my dr.. they started the pitotcin around 5 pm. i started having contractions and they gave me the epidural.
    At 12:30 am 7/31/09 they started prepping for me to push my baby girl out all i was thinking is what did i do wrong??? Why Me???? was she going to look normal??? i was so scared. Everyone left b/c things had slowed down and it didnt seem like she wanted to come out.. My husband left to go get me a drink (that i wasnt suspoised to have) i gave him my phone to take, While he was gone i tried to use the Bedpan and then all of a sudden i knew what i was feeling wasnt what i thought it was. i hit the button while calling my husband. i told him to get up to me NOW!!!! i felt between my legs and her head was almost halfway out. i hollared for the Nurses since they hadnt come yet.. they come in take a look and call my dr. my husband called my family and they had just left the hospital after being told it wouldnt be till the morning. they rushed down to the hospital but they wernt quite quick enough My dr just had time to get in the room and tell me to push. i pushed 3 times and i felt her slip out. they cut the cord and handed her to me… she was so perfect 2 lb 6 oz and 19″ long and she was sooo pink looking i made them give me a stethascope so i could listen for myself.. then they took her from me just so they could finish taking care of me, they took lots of feet prints and hand prints. they asked us if we would like to bathe her and we jumped on it we gave our lil angel a bath and dressed her and we took 127 photos in the short 5 hours we got to hold her. i have 1 photo i will always treasure it has 4 generations of the women in my family including her. i have photos of everyone holding her.. the next few days are are a real haze. we buried our Rihana on a morning early in august of 09. the funeral amazed me. for someone no one had met she had alot of people who loved her..
    shortly after the funeral i went and saw my dr for a follow up and she let me know the autopsy report. it showed that in the cord and the placenta there were hundreds of blood clots and the way she explained it to me my body showly suffocated and starved my daughter inside me.. i went to a specialist and she looked over my history and asked what had happined to out stillborn. We told her everything we knew. she sent us out for a few then called us back in and told me i have Anit-Phospholipid antibody syndrome which simply put is a blood clot disorder.. the dr explained to me that when i got pregnant again that i would have to give myself heprin 2x a day for the entire pregnancy..
    2 months later in mid to late October i started thinking i was pregnant my thanksgiving i was certain. so i called my dr. the nurse i talked to was new and didnt know my history and tried to schedule me for 12 weeks, i called back and left a message on her voicemail about my concerns and the next morning she called me to come in.. she did a u/s and the baby was in good position. she gave me several days worth of the heprin and had a nurse show me what to do. i religiously gave my self the shots 2x a day b/c of what had happined with Rihana, from 20 weeks on i had to get non stress tests to hear the baby and make sure everything was on track. as of week 30 u/s became a weekly thing (they had been doing them every 2 weeks before that) to check on the blood flow and make sure everything was going great.. my edd was 7/22/10 they decided to induce me 3 weeks early so that she didnt get to big and cause pressure clots. so on 7/1/10 at 6 pm they induced me.. the labor went slow and i tried to hold off on the epidural but the pain got so constant i couldnt rest and they were worried that i wouldnt have the strength to push her out. They gave me the Epi and for the first time since the 1st i slept (this is early on the 3rd) when i woke up the epi had worn off and i was hurting bad and had the urge to push bad.. i got the nurse and she got the dr. and they rushed to prep for the dilvery. the dr got to the room and they had me start pushing 3-4 pushes later she came out screaming i started bawling not because i was sad but because i was so happy that i had a healthy baby girl after so many problems over the years. she was born 7/3/10 6 lb 2 oz 19 1/2 in long when i first saw her i thought i was seeing things because she looked exactly like her sister.
    Now July is both a happy and a sad month for me I have my Rihana in heaven watching out for me and her daddy and sister. and Now Makenna who is now a 20 month old super active and Healthy toddler!

    Before i lost Rihana i also had over 15 m/c's and 2 tubals that were easily taken care of.. this month on the 1st i found out i was pregnant 2 days later i woke up and tried to get up and just collapsed,,, my husband called me a ambulance and they got to me fast they told me if i had walked in i would be dead.. my dr asked all what was going on and i told him he asked who my preferred ob was and i told him a few mins later she showed up n had be taken to us there they were going to check the pregnancy any my kidneys they skipped the kidneys because they found alot of fluid in me. my dr got me up to the or and after a hour of work had me back awake.. i had lost 5 and a half liters of blood due to a ruptured eptopic pregnancy.. the beginning of this month made me realize how precious even my life is and how quickly things can change im so thankful for my daughter. and i know me and my hubby will continue to ttc :-) thanx for letting me share my story

  2. #212
    Suitefox Guest

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    wow sorry so long if neone has any questions feel free to message me!!

  3. #213

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    Wow that is an amazing story! I am just recently going through my first miscarriage and am having so much difficulty learning to live with this loss..

  4. #214

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    After reading stories here from such amazing women, I feel like my little story is hardly one to share. I've just experienced my first miscarriage, I was about 7 weeks (from the first day of my lmp).

    I was up north visiting my grandmother. We had just told her we were pregnant and she was so excited for us. I had known I was pg for about 3 weeks by then and was so excited and making so many plans. I have a son and my pregnancy with him was perfect, both of us were completely healthy without any issues. So, I never really expected that anything would happen with this baby. It's always something you worry could happen to you, but I never thought it really would.

    On Saturday evening I began having light spotting, which I know is very normal for the first trimester. I tried not to worry but I was also having some cramping. DH and I figured it could be my uterus expanding, implantation, or a whole list of other reasons. I went to bed that night and it was getting more red. When I woke up the next morning still bleeding, I was worried so DH and I went to the ER.

    I received an US but couldn't find a heartbeat and it was difficult to find the fetal pole. We could see the sac, though. The doctor explained that it could still be too early to detect a heartbeat and that at this early it's hard to see what is going on. They asked me to come back in 2 days to make sure my hormone levels were rising. I went back to my grandmother's house and tried to relax and put my feet up.

    The spotting turned to bleeding and the slight cramping got worse. Sunday evening I began soaking pads. The blood began passing clots and my cramps got progressively worse.

    I called my nurse from back home and she said it's very likely I'm miscarrying. And later that day, it was very clear that I was.

    This is completely new to me and I think it's still hitting me. I know that this is small compared to the loss that others have experienced.

  5. #215

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    I thought I'd put my story here too, hoping it will give me a little finality. I went to the doctor 2 days ago and found out I have a blighted ovum. All the good stuff is there but the fetus. I've had no cramping or bleeding yet, so the inevitability is sort of nerve wracking. I wish it would just happen already. Let me take you back a month or so to give you the whole story and why this is so difficult for me. My father has been fighting esophageal cancer for 3 years. My two kids have really gotten him through the worst parts of his treatment. He went in the hospital about 2 months ago and found out he had hit another big bump in the road. He had several tumors again in his liver and stomach. I debated whether or not to tell him about this pregnancy because it was pretty evident that he would most likely succumb to the illness before the baby would be born. I knew it would give him some hope, if only that my mom would have something good to look forward to this year. So, I told him. He was so proud and happy for us. I asked him not to tell his family yet because I really had just found out and I don't like to tell people that early. A couple of week later he got admitted again. His kidneys were shutting down and he decided to go into Hospice care. My grandma was up to the hospital visiting that very day and he asked me if he could tell her the news. So, of course I said yes. He was so proud when he told her. It was really one of the last things I heard him say. We didn't have many full conversations after that because he was just so weak. He died about 12 hours later. Of course at the funeral home, his entire family and my mom's ended up finding out the news. So, I've felt a very special connection with this pregnancy to him. I felt that he would be there with me through it all and now I just don't know what to think. Even though there was never a fetus growing, I feel real grief over this loss. It's hard to explain. I just want the miscarriage to happen soon so I can move on.



  6. #216

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    I am so sorry for the loss of your dad and the grief you must be feeling for the loss of this precious pregnancy. Not knowing when you will start bleeding and when the m/c will actually take place is so hard in addition to this terrible situation.. My thoughts are with you.. Take care.

  7. #217

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    Quote Originally Posted by l&dmommy View Post
    I am so sorry for the loss of your dad and the grief you must be feeling for the loss of this precious pregnancy. Not knowing when you will start bleeding and when the m/c will actually take place is so hard in addition to this terrible situation.. My thoughts are with you.. Take care.
    Thank-you so much. Yes, the waiting and not knowing is killing me right now. I just wish it would happen already!



  8. #218

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    I am so, so sorry for the loss of your father. I can't imagine what you may be feeling, but my thoughts and prayers are with you right now.

    It took me a few days to start the process, I was about 7 weeks along. It wasn't too hard, physically. I pray that everything turns out OK for you and that you are able to find comfort and great community around you to help you through this time.

  9. #219
    Heidi Faith Guest

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    My name is Heidi Faith, and I'm mom of five kiddos, including our fourth, born via miscarriage on April 19, 2011. I am the creator of stillbirthday.com, a place for support prior to, during, and after loss.

  10. #220
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    5,136

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    I realized I never posted my story here. I am going to give the cliff notes version because there is just too much to list. I am 22, DH 27 and DS 2. Basically 8 m/c in the span of 4 years and in the last year was a grand total of 6. DX with balanced translocation of chromosomes 6 & 16, MTHFR, clotting factor, low red blood cells, and anemia. We are done trying and I have my surgery for tubal ligation next month. We are also moving on to adoption once most of my schooling is done. I surrender

    Sammi(me)~DH(Troy)~DS(Kyle)~DD(Rebecca)My Blog

  11. #221

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    I just wanted to say hello, and introduce myself. This forum is the whole reason I joined here.
    About 3 months ago I just knew I was pregnant, I could feel it, but I convinced myself it was just my imagination. So I went about my life, all the time having this idea in the back of my head, thinking I was crazy lol . Well on my birthday some friends took me out to the bars, the next day I woke up with a hang over I figured , but then it came back the next day, and the next, and the next, and my breast became horribly sore. So of course I was afraid (I drank while being pregnant) I told my boyfriend that I may be pregnant, and he said lets wait to get a positive test first. So I waited, and waited, and waited some more for good measure, especially since my periods were never regular. It felt like I waited for forever lol . One day I woke up, and I just didn't feel pregnant any more. I felt empty, and I told my boyfriend I don't think I'm pregnant, but we both decided I should take the test anyways. Well the two lines were supposed to look like this ||, but instead there was a faint line like this - and another line like this |, so I told my boyfriend, and we went to planned parenthood, I figured that they would have more of an idea than I. So we went that day, right away, and I told the nurse everything, every symptom I had, so she gave me a test and then another, both negative. I was so disappointed, and she said she thought for sure they would come out positive, told me to come back in two weeks to test again. Well a few days later I started bleeding, horribly. And I knew something wasn't right, but again I tried to tell myself it was just a bad period. But then I seen her, and I held her. Something just tells me she was girl. And while I told my boyfriend, and he has been great about everything, I just feel as though he dosent fully understand, so I haven't really had any one to talk to about my loss. I figure she was only about 8 weeks along, and even though I have my 10 year old son, I still feel the loss keenly. I feel empty as thought some part of me is physically missing. It's been over a month,but I still hurt. My arms ache to hold her. And while I realize now may not have been the best time, I am unemployed, and going to school full time, and my boyfriend just recently got a job, and even though she wasnt planned, I still wanted her with every fiber of my being. And part of me feels as thought it was my fault. Back in my head I knew. I KNEW, and I still drank. I was also told that me being hypothyroid could affect me carring to full term, I knew I was hypo thyroid and didnt go in and gets meds. Told myself I couldn't afford the 60$ or more. If I knew it would have saved her, I would have paid in a heartbeat. I wish I could go back and change things, what ever it would have taken.
    I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not looking for pity, I'm just looking for release I guess, Some one who understands. Thank you for letting me get this all out.

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