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Thread: Hanging my head in shame.

  1. #1

    Default Hanging my head in shame.

    I tried, I really did. I am just not OK with the decision to be done being taken from me. I don't know what to do. I want one more pregnancy, I want one more baby, I want one more member in our family. I don't want to give up until I get it.

    I have lightly hinted to DH that I am not so sure I can keep my end of our bargain. First he jokingly said my word is no good, then he said if it wasn't so expensive....
    What do I do with that?

    Do I argue with him that yes it is expensive but so worth it, or that in the grand scheme of things the costs to get pregnant are so minor.
    Or do I just let it go and try harder to be OK with not getting to have one last child? He is still really into the idea of fostering, I am too, but that doesn't fulfill this need to carry a baby again, to give our family (especially my girls) that experience and the joy of another family member.

    Any advice or thoughts are welcomed...even if it is to say I should honor my word and do my best to give up.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  2. #2

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    I think you have to go with what your heart tells you. We were supposed to be done with IVFs after our last attempt earlier this year. It was what we both had agreed on. But I wasn't ready to stop trying and after several, surprisingly calm discussions, my DH came around and we are going for our final two tries. I thought for sure he wouldn't be agreeable to even discussing it, but in the end, we both want more kids. Carrying your own child is an amazing experience and I can understand you wanting to do it again. I hope that whatever decision you come to you both are happy and at peace. Good luck.
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  3. #3
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    You are for sure in a tough position. I'd just be honest and open with your DH. He may or may not change his mind but I do think it is very important to talk to him about it.

    I do really wonder what I will end up feeling if we do have one more child. I agreed with DH that I would not ask for another child after a fourth and that he could get the big V done. I LOVE any and all children so I am doubtful that I will ever really feel that I am totally done.
    Jessica (33) and Ryan (33). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    My blog about MCAD

  4. #4

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    Oh my. First of all big hugs. Id be honest with him and mentally prepare yourself for him to say no. I was suppose to be done after dd since it took so many ivf treatments. When she hit a year I was ready for more. Id approached my (at the time) dh i very gently said "Is money that important? We can clothe them,feed em, and shelter them. Aside from endless love what else do we need?" Vacations was a distance away as it was so what was another couple years. I told him we would revisit the situation in 6 months to see how we both felt. Goodluck


  5. #5

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    Thanks guys. I know I need to sit Jason down and tell him how I feel.

    I just had some unexpected news drop in my lap. A friend just found out they are pregnant, she has 1 donor vial (it would be a new donor but we would have to pick a new donor anyway as the two we have used are retired) left and 5 doses of Menopur left that she is offering to GIVE me. I am scared to tell DH...but I have a feeling this is going to be happening.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  6. #6
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    If his only concern is the cost that could be your answer.
    Jessica (33) and Ryan (33). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    My blog about MCAD

  7. #7

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    Well we talked. He is not thrilled...due to cost but also him just wanting to be done with all the trying and be able to move on, but he said we can do it. He reminded me that I wanted to be pregnant or done by my 36th birthday, which is 10/1. So I think we will do this and if it doesn't work (Lord forbid) I will give it up. Now to just see how long doing the paper work and getting the sample to me will take.
    I can't believe it....I know we wouldn't have bought another sample, I would have just suffered through it, I can't believe this opportunity just fell in my lap. Hope that is some kind of a sign.

    The donor is kind of adorable...
    blnd6.jpg

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  8. #8

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    hope it all works out


  9. #9

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    Thanks...me too. I am so excited to get one last shot at it.
    We are not telling a soul, other than you guys, so if we are FB friends keep it on the DL please

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  10. #10
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    Hopefully it's during a September cycle and I'll have a donor buddy around here for a change.
    Julie, DH: W, DS: Mason, GGB Trips Amelia, Ellanor & Noah
    FFS "Baby C" disrupted fost/adopt of sibs Q,Z,J & K 9/10-3/11

  11. #11

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    Hopefully it will be September...just depends on how fast I can get the paper work handled.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  12. #12
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    Best of luck Katrina! Lots of good thoughts and prayers for y'all!
    Jennifer


  13. #13

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    I'm seriously soooooooo excited for you!

  14. #14

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    Thanks guys. One last shot at it...I would sure love for us to get lucky this time.

    I am so lucky to have a husband that supports me and lets me get my way ;)

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by TripMomma View Post
    Thanks guys. One last shot at it...I would sure love for us to get lucky this time.

    I am so lucky to have a husband that supports me and lets me get my way ;)
    Wishing you the best of luck and praying it all works out for you both!


    Ali (28) dh (28)love since 2006 8 angels who left us too soon

  16. #16

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    Yay!!! So glad you get another try! Sure seems like things are falling into place...
    ~Andrea~


  17. #17

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    How amazing! I'm so excited for you. I'm glad your DH is on board and how lucky the donor vial and me pour fell in your lap! Praying you get your BFP!
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  18. #18
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    How exciting!! Best of luck to you two! Maybe this could be a wonderful Birthday present and it all work out! How does the donor thing work?
    Me-Kelly (29) DH-Phillip (33) 2 unexplained losses. Ready for a rainbow baby!

  19. #19
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    I really hope this works out for you! !!!!!!

  20. #20

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    Thanks guys! I'm pretty excited, and a more than a little scared LOL. I am going to do acupuncture again this time....I did it for a month or two just before I got pregnant with the trio, but not since. I am pretty stressed and my fuse has been pretty short lately, so hopefully that will help.

    I am waiting to hear from my Doctor on Monday about shipping the vial to me, hopefully it won't be crazy expensive. I will do letrozole again, with 5 days of Menopur piggy backed on.

    AF should be here sometime between 8/23-8/26 or so....not sure if we will aim for that cycle or wait one more. I always hate the waiting, so maybe just do it...I don't know.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  21. #21
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    Katrina!!! Wow God is amazing!!! I hope this cycle is your sticky one! I'm so glad Jason is on board. Really, once you have more than three, what's one more?! Lol!! I'll be praying that you join me in the due date room!!

  22. #22

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    Thanks Momma.

    I am not a churchy person, I was raised Christian and I think I believe in God (even talk to him sometimes) but I am not sure 100%...hope that came out right. So the night before I had this offer come to me I was thinking about bringing up another try to DH, I just had this feeling of not wanting to quit. I talked out loud (DH was at work) to God, thanked him for what we have, made it clear I am very appreciative, then asked for a sign in my dreams or something on if I should talk to DH or let it go. The next day I got this offer, and now it has spun into one last try. Man if that is not pressure I don't know what is...I so hope this works LOL.

    I don't think it is the number of kids that bothers DH honestly, just the $1,000+ that it costs each try LOL. I hope this last try is the winner, because this is IT, I have to stop spending this kind of money when we already have 4 kiddos here to spend money on LOL.

    I am so happy for you and have everything crossed that you get to go all the way this time...I really do. I would love to join your room...but I think should we luck out this time, the baby will be due in July. I think we decided to wait until my late September cycle to try.

    Thanks again for all the support and love you guys...you are such a positive source. I will keep you posted.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  23. #23
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    I really hope it works! Fx for you.

  24. #24

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    I am stepping in to say I really hope it works out for you.
    *** Lindsay ***



  25. #25

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    Thanks

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  26. #26
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    Aww, I'm glad I saw this after you decided to try again! Sending you lots of good vibes for this try!!!!
    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  27. #27

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    Thanks. Congrats on your little beauty

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  28. #28
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    Very exciting!! Good luck!!

  29. #29
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    OH MY WORD, WOOOHOOOOOOO I am sooooo super excited for you Katrina !!!!!!

    Praying praying praying !!!!!!!!!


  30. #30

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    Thanks Momma

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

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