I am feeling SO down. I feel like I am really failing my kids right now. I am having so much trouble this summer. I know I am in a tough position with older kids and a baby still napping. We are stuck home a lot and when we are I am totally lost as to what to do. They start fighting and I get in a bad mood and don't want to be around them.

I have good intentions of trying to do things with them but a lot of times they are not motivated to do anything. Sometimes they start playing on their own so I just go with that and stay out of their way. I just feel like I am really not fun and I don't do anything quality with them. I have tremendous guilt about it but yet it doesn't motivate me to change. I hate the heat so while I tell them to play outside I don't want to go out with them. I also think none of us gets enough exercise and I am not sure how to fix that.

I will admit that I am most likely suffering from some depression so that isn't making things any easier. I think the depression is temporary. I think it's a bit of a vicious cycle....I feel like I am failing them which makes me depressed which makes me not able to motivate to change, etc. I also think I have had a hard time adjusting to the change in routine. If I don't feel differently in Sept/Oct I will probably seek out professional help but until then I kind of feel awful and I am not sure what to do about it.

The sad part is that I am finding myself not really WANTING to do things with them (hard to admit) and it makes me so sad. Am I just burnt out? Why would I not want to spend time with them? If someone else asked the question, "what can I do with my kids all day" I would have tons of answers so it's not like I don't KNOW what to do with them. I just don't want to do it

Thanks for listening. I am not even sure what I am looking for here....advice, empathy,...?