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Thread: So upset

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    3,550

    Angry So upset

    My mom called today...not to see how I am doing but to try and pressure me to get induced. Yep, that's right. She's never exactly been on board with me seeing midwives over OBs and considered my desire to go natural as just another of my quirks.

    I tried explaining to her that we're both healthy and closely monitored and there's no reason consider that right now. That I didn't want to risk a failed induction and c-section just because I'm over my due date (1 day btw...1!). She also said she never herd of a failed induction---um, ok.

    And she tried bring up meconium aspiration--not a totally invalid argument--except that it happens in less than 5% of cases, and not usually until after the water breaks or there is fetal distress. Neither of which apply to me at this time. Not to mention that with good immediate medical care, babies are rarely seriously injured by it.

    Every argument she had, I had a fact to support my decision and her only response was "well...."

    Eventually she gave up and pulled the "I'm a nurse and I've delivered 3 babies" card---SO UNFAIR. #1 she was NICU nurse nearly 30 years ago...I think some things have changed since then. #2 How does my being a FTM mean that I'm incapable of making solid medical decisions for me and my child?

    I was so mad. She thinks that I'm just so hell bent on getting my way that I might actually endanger my child to get it. I'm not just blindly walking around thinking everything will be perfectly fine and nothing bad can happen.

    Thank goodness for my husband who completely supports my decisions. Just yesterday I gave him the "people might say things to scare you" talk and he kindly reminded me of that. And also said that I'm the mom and I'm in charge and I have good care so not to let her upset me. He also said something close to put your Mommy Armor on and get ready to fight for what you believe in or you aren't going to make it.

    I have been expecting to defend my beliefs, I was just shocked and rather hurt that I had to do it with my own mother.
    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  2. #2

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    So sorry you had such a disheartening conversation with your mom. You already know this...it's your body, your baby, your decisions and you are very well prepared for a FTM. Having a supportive husband is worth its weight in gold. Don't let her get you down. Being calm, relaxed and patient to meet your little girl will make all the difference in the world when you look back at this time.

    Anna (36), DH (47), Little Man (4), , Little Lady (brand new!)


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    12,649

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    Huge hugs. I get the same lecture from my mom about me not knowing (apparently still!) Anything about babies. And this is my 3rd. She always compares with the time she had me and my sister, tells me funny stuff like my milk must be too watery or some other. She is not a nurse thank goodness else I'd be in a lot more lol I also get lectures on how I do stuff, cook stuff, talk to my kids, dress up (apparently I have no sense of fashion or taste in clothes whatever that means lol), dress my kids, spend my time etc it is just how people are. I manage to get pass these things as overall my mom is a very nice and loving person. But that's just how she is.

    Don't let it get to you. Your dh is right - ultimate choice is yours and also your doctor knows better how to approach your particular situation. Treat yourself to some nice things or food and enjoy these last moments of pregnancy!

  4. #4

    Default

    Wish I had more time to write but you are not alone...
    My mom is very very unsupportive of my choices. I'm planning a home water birth after 2 c sections. I don't vaccinate. I don't circumcise. The other day she asked if I had a will prepared because it would take just minutes for me to bleed to death. Lolololol.

    But here is the thing...After baby arrives... you will only continue standing up for what you believe. My mom doesn't understand our choice for no screen time with the children. My choice to mostly "unschool" my children.

    I have learned that I owe my mother no explanation! She doesn't need to understand. I don't need to give her facts and figures. My body, my choice. My children, my choice. Period.

    Big hugs.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    3,550

    Default

    Thank you for sharing your experiences and your support!!!

    Sometimes our expectations fail us more than anything. All I really hoped to get from her was love and encouragement.

    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  6. #6

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    I am sorry Natalie. It is very hard not getting the needed support from your family. My mom tends to go in the other direction and is very naturally minded. She had homebirths for my youngest 3 siblings and is very anti medical intervention. So after having two inductions births I felt like she judged me a lot for my choices and I am very nervous about her reactions if I were to end up inducing or to get an epidural (since I have been very against getting one this time).



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    9,257

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    I'm so sorry your mom is being unsupportive and projecting her fears onto you...that really is so frustrating! My mom had a difficult time supporting some of my choices early on too, but has always changed her tune once she sees everything is okay . I think moms just worry and maybe don't realize how critical and discouraging they sound.

    Thinking of you and by your other post it likely isn't going to be much longer, woot !!!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  8. #8

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    Stepping in for I can't even talk to my mom period. I hate to say its been nothing but trouble for me. Stick to your beliefs and maybe ignore her calls for a bit if needed.

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