So here is my story.
To me this seems coincidental but I am not sure.
I got pregnant before my youngest sister who was 17 at the time announced that she was.
I lost my baby and my mind for a while after because I really wanted my baby.
My sister went through with the pregnancy and she had a beautiful little girl. The guy that she had her baby with was six years older than her! I went to school with him. I am soft-hearted person and decided not to press her about him.
I allowed her to stay with me during her first month. (traditionally the woman and baby don't leave the house for a full-month) They didn't leave.
Things went okay for three months until the two started leaving the house and making my mom take care of the baby.
I woke up one night to find my niece screaming while it looked like her parents had passed out. I took her and put her by me.
I didn't know what to think about it so I left it alone and things went back to normal.
One night I was watching her and I heard something hit the wall in the room they were staying in. I opened the door and found the guy holding my sister up against the wall and he was hitting her.
So, being the native girl I am, I grabbed him and told him that if he didn't leave that I would call the cops.
Tribal ordinances are a little different from state laws so I was able to get an order against him that he would not come on my residence. He violated that order three times. One time he broke in and tried to assault my sister.
Lets make this very short, a week later she left my house with the baby to live with him. She came back three days later and said she was going to stay at my house. One night, I woke up to find the baby by me and my sister was gone. My niece was four months old when she left to live with me.
I tried a lot of things to get my sister to wake up and take care of the baby. I was in and out of court and working with the father's mom to get them to take responsibility. My niece was living with me for a year and a half when I filed papers for guardianship of her. I thought this would wake them up and they wouldn't consent. My sister filed paperwork that said she consented to permanent guardianship and sole custody to me of her baby. The father didn't show. He never showed up for court unless he was already in custody.
It went okay for a while until he wised up for a month and decided to take me to court for custody. He was granted visitations on Sundays. (I was already giving the grandmother visitations on Sundays.) He was ordered not to leave her, drink, take drugs, etc etc while he had her. He went okay for three weeks. My sister had being seeing someone else (who was his best-friend btw) and she had left him. I didn't know at the time but she had being staying with the father. On that Sunday, we agreed in court to meet at the police station for exchange. He didn't show for the exchange and while I was panicking my sister called and said she was with the father and they were drunk. I went to the grandmother's house and had a few choice words with her and picked up my niece.
I called the cops and found out my sister and the guy had been picked up. He later requested supervised visitations and never showed up for any of them. My sister comes in and out of my life but doesn't do anything for the baby.
Fast forward.. my niece is two going on three.
She lives with me still and we are doing fine. The father hasn't filed for any visitations and doesn't pay his court-ordered child support.
My niece knows me as her mom and that hurts a little. She treat her bio-mom like she would if she was her aunt.
My sister told me that my niece's father has given up on court and wants nothing to do with his daughter. That hurts a lot.
My niece knows her father's name but doesn't know him. She knows her other grandmother's name but doesn't know her.
The grandmother came over once to see her and left in tears because my nice wouldn't go to her.
I thought I would share this story because I have requested from both parents that they relinquish their rights and I will adopt her.
I was the wild older sister who never thought of having kids. But this little girl has settled me down and I couldn't think of being without her. I have a good job, my own home, car, and I understand that my sister sees this and knows that her little girl is okay.
Please understand, I tried everything to get my sister to take responsibility of her daughter. She left her four month old baby with me and never came back for her. I am starting the process of adopting my niece.
If you have any advice or like to share, I would really appreciate it.
I would like some advice on how to talk with my niece about her bio parents or whether I should or not.