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Thread: Interesting e-mail from Katie's dad

  1. #1

    Default Interesting e-mail from Katie's dad

    So Erin got this e-mail from Katie's dad.

    sorry i have not been in contact with you lately. have no cell to reach you and i have been out searching for a job and been busy to shoot an email to you.
    just wanted some updates on katie and how she is doing. like to hear from you via email. might just keep emailing it is the best way at this point with what is going on in the home.
    just miss not knowing katie has been eatting me lately and talking to katie was a joy in my life and i will always remember the little talks we have on the phone.
    i am not a good father i don't think in the whole child support thing but i am trying. i always think of myself as a failure in life to katie and i think you know i am trying my hardest to keep up with the child support and i am just thinking i am not an awsome father to katie. i wonder if katie is asking about me and wishing she could talk to me more. i just can't do this anymore with no job and nothing to back up on katie for her needs that help you by with her like toy's learning supplies etc etc. wishing we would have not been like we were and still be together raising a child of our own. i will admit we did a lot of fighting and i know i regret it.
    so when you get this respond to me and we can talk this way and maybe exchange pics or something i am looking forward to hearing from you.

    Aside from the poor grammar, spelling, format, etc., not sure what to think. Erin said she's not sure if she's going to respond to the e-mail at all or not.
    Lynne, Grandma to three beautiful girls and one handsome little man!


  2. #2

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    IMO, if a father is willing and trying to be in a childs life, there should be no reason to not let him.
    DD 05/14/2013

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by christianaaa View Post
    IMO, if a father is willing and trying to be in a childs life, there should be no reason to not let him.
    Going to have to disagree there. It very much depends on the father's history, patterns of behavior and mental stability. My bio-dad is bipolar and refuses (always has) to accept it and get treatment, he's never had a job for longer than a month either. He would often make such outreach attempts to only later turn scornful and "I can't handle being a dad, just take care of her yourself." He even gave up full parental rights to me and let me stepdad adopt me (but that's another story).

    He still thinks of himself as my dad though I refuse all contact with him.

    To me this falls under: don't let a temporary emotion let you make a permanent decision. You guys know him best, and have to weigh the consequences.
    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by christianaaa View Post
    IMO, if a father is willing and trying to be in a childs life, there should be no reason to not let him.
    He has never been in her life, really. He moved from Virginia back to Pennsylvania when she was less than a year old. No one knew where he was for an entire year. He has made no real attempt to see her. For a couple of years, he would periodically e-mail Erin demanding updates and pictures, and then when she would e-mail him to tell him something about Katie, he would e-mail her back telling her to leave him alone and he was going to sue her for harassment if she didn't. He's never sought visitation, even though we told him when he was still here in Virginia that we would have Erin's uncle meet him with Katie so he could see her (we could not do it ourselves because there was a restraining order keeping him away from Erin and us because he had threatened to burn down our house when Erin was pregnant with Katie). So we feel no obligation at this point to give him anything.

    Now, Nathan's dad, on the other hand, has always been involved with Nathan from the very beginning. He's never paid child support, but there is a visitation agreement. He has a lot of issues that have made dealing with him difficult, and he hasn't seen Nathan now in several months, and actually has now moved to Florida. There are a number of reasons that we would like to be able to end contact with him, but since we have no proof of any of it, I doubt we can do so. He's very unstable and does nothing for himself, instead expecting everyone around him to take care of him and doing everything for him.
    Lynne, Grandma to three beautiful girls and one handsome little man!


  5. #5
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    If you don't want contact with him, I would have Erin shut down that email account and start a new one.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    If you don't want contact with him, I would have Erin shut down that email account and start a new one.
    Or a filter that goes straight to the trash, she'd never have to see the emails.
    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  7. #7

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    I would maybe have her put those emails if more come in a separate file but, don't respond. Since he has a history of being unstable if he would go on another harassing rant maybe another protective order could stop him again from communication.
    *** Lindsay ***



  8. #8
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    I don't know. Couldn't she just send a picture of Katie occasionally? Is there any danger in that?

    Oh, never mind. I didn't refresh the page and read the additional information that you gave. But still, what if he is doing better mentally and does want to be in her life?
    Jessica (33) and Ryan (33). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    My Ovulation Chart , My blog about MCAD

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    It reads to me as though he is in a bad place, whether depressed or just drunk or something, started thinking about Katie, and sent this off. I would suspect if he really wanted to be involved with her he would find a way to try to call her. It doesn't really make a lot of sense as written. It might be a first step, but I would want to see more mature behavior to show that he had really changed.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  10. #10

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    It does sound to me, from what he said about "with what is going on in the home," that perhaps he and his wife are having some problems. His wife has always hated Erin, even though she's never met or even talked to Erin, and I'm sure did not like that he was talking to Erin and/or Katie at all. A little over a year ago, he did have a few telephone conversations with Katie and he did Skype with her a couple of times, and then nothing since then. That's what I keep saying, Gwenn. If he REALLY wanted to be involved in Katie's life, he'd find a way to communicate with her. As I've said before, she has never ONCE gotten so much as a card from him at Christmas or on her birthday. Even if he's not working, is it really THAT hard to just send your daughter a card?
    Lynne, Grandma to three beautiful girls and one handsome little man!


  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by LanceBabe View Post
    It does sound to me, from what he said about "with what is going on in the home," that perhaps he and his wife are having some problems. His wife has always hated Erin, even though she's never met or even talked to Erin, and I'm sure did not like that he was talking to Erin and/or Katie at all. A little over a year ago, he did have a few telephone conversations with Katie and he did Skype with her a couple of times, and then nothing since then. That's what I keep saying, Gwenn. If he REALLY wanted to be involved in Katie's life, he'd find a way to communicate with her. As I've said before, she has never ONCE gotten so much as a card from him at Christmas or on her birthday. Even if he's not working, is it really THAT hard to just send your daughter a card?
    I agree. I feel like this too a parent no matter what the circumstances if they truly want to see / call/ do something nothing is going to stop them.
    *** Lindsay ***



  12. #12
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    IMO, he's a sperm donor, not a parent. He's had years to get it together and given whist you have said, it sounds like she is better without him.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #13

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    That is a difficult decision, really. I also think, in the future, when Katie wonders where her dad is and finds him, do you want to have him tell her "I asked for pics and updates, and your mom never responded." I guess he could say that either way, but at least your daughter would be able to show Katie that she at least tried, you know? That might be one factor of many to consider. It's a tough situation no matter what.

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