My mom told me (yes TOLD me) that she was going to stay with us after the baby came--this was months ago. It seemed like a fine idea to me so I didn't really say anything other than "ok" and we've just left it at that.

My mom is nurse, a pediatric and ER nurse for most of her career, and BF 2/3 of her kids--so I have no doubt that she can be a help to us. But my mom and I don't have a warm fuzzy buddy-buddy relationship. Mostly when she's around it can be tense. She also smokes and has an elderly dog that would come with her--we have our own dogs and they've met before, but my dogs don't love visitors. Honestly, I'd feel 100x better if her dog didn't come, but I love the dog and he's old and really there's no where else for him to go. He goes where ever she goes.

Anyway, the other day my DH asked me what exactly she's going to be doing while she's here. He was clear that she was welcome and it wasn't a bad thing, but really, what is she going to be here for? I didn't have much answer because I don't really know. I see help with BFing for me and that's about it. My DH will be home all the first week but then he has to go back to work.

Maybe it makes more sense for her to be here in the week after when I'm suddenly by myself with a newborn all day? I know she wants to be here for the birth but she lives about 4 hours away so it also feels weird to me to say you can come for a couple days then go away and come back.

I plan to talk to her this week but I'd really like to hear some advice or stories about how you were helped PP.