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Thread: Wanting to find out a child's sex before birth may reveal a lot about the mother

  1. #1

    Default Wanting to find out a child's sex before birth may reveal a lot about the mother

    What do you think?

    http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/277677.php

  2. #2

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    I dont know why it's not linking, i can't fix it from my phone

  3. #3
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    Interesting article! We didn't find out DS' sex before he was born and I'd say I fit some of the research findings. I know a lot of people said to me that they could never not know, because they wanted to be prepared. But in my mind I was preparing for a baby, not a girl or a boy specifically. It was not important to me that my boy have blue clothes or my girl have pink.

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    I think it's crap. I was particularly offended by "Mothers who knew the sex of their child tended to be less educated, have lower household incomes and were less likely to be married than women who did not know." as I do not fit any of that criteria.

    I don't particularly believe that it says anything about a mother ... I think it's technology that we have now and most people want to use it. I felt that I was able to connect and prepare more knowing the gender of my children. And, as a matter of fact, I paid good money to find out gender SOONER this time around, via blood test, because I didn't want to announce until I knew gender. Having 2 boys already, I wanted to spare myself as much of the crap that comes out of people's mouths about gender. Being able to say "we're expecting boy #3" allowed me to head them off at the pass and avoid most of the "Aww, I hope you have a girl!" comments.
    Dorcas (36) DH (37) 3/13



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    I am sorry, but to say (based on 182 indiviuals) that women who choose to know the gender of their child are uneducated, low income single mothers without conscience is rather harsh. I do not think that is true at all and I think they would find that it is not true if they observed a larger group.

    I did not want to find out gender of our kids but my DH did. He felt very strongly about it and so we (as a couple) chose to find out. Even though we knew DS's gender (and later DD's) ahead of time, we got mostly neutral clothing and gear that we hoped to reuse for the next baby. It had a lot to do with being frugal than anything else (we both believe in traditional roles of men and women and we share parenting 50-50 - which, according to this study, is not possible). We also both have conscience and are no sociopaths.

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    I found out the sex of both children so I could plan their names. I hate calling the baby "it". I also don't like planning for gender neutral for me and James
    didn't want to either. I am also very impatient with most things. Patience has grown over the years a bit, but, I hate feeling like I am running out of
    time. We did have Cody's room blue at our first two-bedroom apartment but, we also had things in there that was for any baby. We had a jungle
    theme I just really loved it! It was on sale and my mom got it for my baby shower. I did save some of it and Cody and Sophia share a room.
    For a while they had a separate room and we just moved them back together because it makes them feel more safe being in the same room.
    They had a mix of boy decor and girl decor in the room. I plan on adding a bit more boy decor that Cody likes to make it feel more even
    because it was originally Sophia's room. I don't think there is anything wrong with finding out the gender I felt like it was the one
    and only thing I had "control" over in my pregnancy meaning that my husband and I had picked out a name together. We
    couldn't control the gender obviously but, we could pick out the name everything else in pregnancy is very unpredictable
    though the ultrasound isn't always right with me being high risk they did probably about a dozen of ultrasounds each
    pregnancy. It wasn't pleasant but, I enjoyed seeing them again. If that makes me closed minded
    (referring to the article not to anyone on here) so be it.
    Last edited by mom2CodySophia0811; 06-04-2014 at 02:53 PM. Reason: ignore the angled paragraphs! Grr..
    *** Lindsay ***



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    Good point about the naming piece, too!
    Dorcas (36) DH (37) 3/13



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    I guess anyone to attempt a study to try to "prove" anything now a days. Sheesh....

    As a mom who has (or is about to) do BOTH choices I didn't fit in anywhere. I thinking finding the gender is a deeply personal choice with many many many factors to take into consideration. This "study" is very short sited and almost shallow in the "results". And have me questioning a number of factors. Did the women that chose to participate mainly come from low income area? Were they compensating money or free ultrasounds? in that case I can see why there would be a greater number of women from lower income that would also chose to find gender. I think anyone can target their audience to fit the study and thus creating the outcome they WANT to receive. And the conclusion that "Schoppe-Sullivan said this study is just a starting point for larger questions about the implications that knowing a child's sex may have for future parenting." is really pulling at straws.

    I did find the gender out with our first two. But not with this last one. We will not be finding out the gender and I can tell you it has NOTHING AT ALL to do with their idea that ""A conscientious, egalitarian expectant mother may want to wait to find out the sex of the baby because she doesn't want to create an environment that reinforces old gender stereotypes," Schoppe-Sullivan said."....

    Brenda

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    Well said Brenda, I thought the same things.
    Dorcas (36) DH (37) 3/13



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    Well I think people do studies on just about everything because you kind of have to do one and try to publish in certain careers.

    That said, my DH and I are both educated and hold masters. We are not rich but have some money and are liberals who aren't overly caught up in gender roles. And if I was pg, I would absolutely know ahead of time. I don't have that option....and in reality, I might end up with 24 hours notice that I'm having a baby. It's been a major PITA buying everything gender neutral. I have managed but there are things I would buy differently based on gender. And there are things like those letters to put the name on the wall....I would love to buy those painted in the theme to match the nursery but I don't know which name we will end up using and they are too expensive to buy a girl and a boy name.
    Clothes, I have only gotten like 3 sleepers because it is hard to find gender neutral (I'm not into duckies or frogs which is what the gender neutral are). So what I have so far is from the boy section but has puppies on it since we are a dog family and the nursery is Snoopy themed.

    So yeah I would totally find out and also wish that I knew when....being surprised and not by choice rather stinks.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I totally agree with Jennifer.
    I hold a master and my DH a PhD. We're not rich either but do not have to turn round every dollar before spending it. And we both wanted to know the gender if possible. It is a PITA not knowing the gender. Our baby didn't want to show in the beginning, so we started searching for gender neutral things and it's really hard to find cute things that are not only ugly. So I was glad to have an additional u/s because of low lying placenta and a cooperating baby. When I went shopping afterwards and came to the register with all that cute blue/elephant things and one pink ladybug dress the cashier was genuinely confused and bet on a boy. Can't wait to hold my baby girl soon
    Sabrina [33], DH [33] and our precious shaka-girl


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    I didn't want to know the gender and did not until he was born. My husband did get the info at the amnio and kept it a secret from everyone. Both w/grad degrees, both registered independents, both coupon clippers. Neither of us cared about pink v blue clothing and we were shopping for gender-neutral stuff regardless. And we didn't fret over not having everything stocked and "prepared" before our son was born; that's what trips to the store, hand-me-downs, and amazon.com are for. I guess in that sense, sure... some parents get wound up about having everything frilly or covered in dinosaurs, about having the space "perfect" before the kid arrives, etc so maybe that part is a fair observation in terms of those who choose to know a baby's gender. (seems to make sense)

    But shrug. Who cares and to what end? Sounds like a silly study, serving no significant purpose. Dunno... maybe the socio-economic finding is simply because ppl with lower finances are also more likely to accept hand-me-downs or something totally reasonable. And something completely irrelevant to "future parenting" or gender roles. my only hope is that taxpayer dollars didn't pay for that one...

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by ibisgirldc View Post
    But shrug. Who cares and to what end? Sounds like a silly study, serving no significant purpose. Dunno... maybe the socio-economic finding is simply because ppl with lower finances are also more likely to accept hand-me-downs or something totally reasonable. And something completely irrelevant to "future parenting" or gender roles. my only hope is that taxpayer dollars didn't pay for that one...

    Me either!!!!

    I know when my DH was going for psych degree he was involved in a study that received public grant money. And the study was one of those DUH type things..I think it was about proving that African-American children with a father figure in their lives were less likely to end up in jail or something like that.....

    Brenda

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    Quote Originally Posted by ibisgirldc View Post
    I didn't want to know the gender and did not until he was born. My husband did get the info at the amnio and kept it a secret from everyone. Both w/grad degrees, both registered independents, both coupon clippers. Neither of us cared about pink v blue clothing and we were shopping for gender-neutral stuff regardless. And we didn't fret over not having everything stocked and "prepared" before our son was born; that's what trips to the store, hand-me-downs, and amazon.com are for. I guess in that sense, sure... some parents get wound up about having everything frilly or covered in dinosaurs, about having the space "perfect" before the kid arrives, etc so maybe that part is a fair observation in terms of those who choose to know a baby's gender. (seems to make sense)

    But shrug. Who cares and to what end? Sounds like a silly study, serving no significant purpose. Dunno... maybe the socio-economic finding is simply because ppl with lower finances are also more likely to accept hand-me-downs or something totally reasonable. And something completely irrelevant to "future parenting" or gender roles. my only hope is that taxpayer dollars didn't pay for that one...
    Probably not tax-payer dollars paying these things. At least for me, if I did any studies or search, I'm salaried so it doesn't really cost anything extra.

    But haha about the perfection thing. Let's just say I finally started the nursery in October of last year and we might just about finished. I like a good deal so waited for some stuff to be on a sale. It took over three weeks for the painting alone since we needed more than one coat and did two colors. I wanted it too long like a magazine....and it's really cute. I spent way too much time looking at carseats to pick which one to get and which color to get. Course I have almost had triple the planning time so far that most women have.

    I'm just dying to buy clothes....part of the waiting is gender, part is not knowing the right size for the season....do I need stuff in 3-6 months in summer or winter sort of thing. I do want as much ready before as I can but we also don't have stores like babies r us or buy buy baby nearby. We have a walmart, target and kohls. I have gotten a lot of stuff on amazon, most of it really. But I spread it out so my DH didn't have a heart attack....plus getting a few things each month or one bigger thing each month has made waiting more fun and real that eventually a baby will be in our home.

    it's great that those that want to wait can, and those that don't have the option to know. And I cannot believe that your DH and never let it slip! I don't think mine would have lasted 24 hours.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by pants View Post
    I guess anyone to attempt a study to try to "prove" anything now a days. Sheesh....

    As a mom who has (or is about to) do BOTH choices I didn't fit in anywhere. I thinking finding the gender is a deeply personal choice with many many many factors to take into consideration. This "study" is very short sited and almost shallow in the "results". And have me questioning a number of factors. Did the women that chose to participate mainly come from low income area? Were they compensating money or free ultrasounds? in that case I can see why there would be a greater number of women from lower income that would also chose to find gender. I think anyone can target their audience to fit the study and thus creating the outcome they WANT to receive. And the conclusion that "Schoppe-Sullivan said this study is just a starting point for larger questions about the implications that knowing a child's sex may have for future parenting." is really pulling at straws.

    I did find the gender out with our first two. But not with this last one. We will not be finding out the gender and I can tell you it has NOTHING AT ALL to do with their idea that ""A conscientious, egalitarian expectant mother may want to wait to find out the sex of the baby because she doesn't want to create an environment that reinforces old gender stereotypes," Schoppe-Sullivan said."....
    Excellent point Brenda!
    *** Lindsay ***



  16. #16

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    I'm glad to know i wasnt the only one who thought it was offensive and total BS! My husband an i dont fit any of the "mold" for finding out early either.

    I just hate to wait, mostly. i also loved having a clearer idea of who was hiding in there, i think it helped me bond. Some of my friends said that they just loved the surprise of finding out at delivery. i say im just as surprised when i find out at 20wks also with having c/s its very clinical, with lots of people around. At the 20wk u/s its just us and the tech. much more personal.

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    LOL, I cannot even take this article/study seriously for about a hundred and one reasons...it's just silly .

    We have never chosen to find out the gender of our kiddos before d-day . I have some college, but no degree; and dh has a BS. Our decision has always been multi-factorial as I'm sure it is for every parent.
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  18. #18

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    I agree- it sounds silly but somewhat insulting. We found out both genders before birth with both our kids (and I would do it again but we are done having kids ). We are definitely not low income or uneducated (I have an md and dh a phd!)

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    I would think it would be the opposite, those type A must plan everything to perfection people would be the ones who would want to know and prepare, and also are the high achievers acedemically and in their careers.

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by emma1978 View Post
    I agree- it sounds silly but somewhat insulting. We found out both genders before birth with both our kids (and I would do it again but we are done having kids ). We are definitely not low income or uneducated (I have an md and dh a phd!)
    I missed that part of the low income or uneducated. I don't see the reason of why this study was so important.
    *** Lindsay ***



  21. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by runningmomofmany View Post
    I would think it would be the opposite, those type A must plan everything to perfection people would be the ones who would want to know and prepare, and also are the high achievers acedemically and in their careers.
    Also, a good point.
    *** Lindsay ***



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    The article and study was ridiculous. Nothing conclusive was stated. It was a bunch of conjecture nonsense. I'd like to see their p values and error bars. I bet there was no difference.
    Jessica (33) and Ryan (33). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    My blog about MCAD

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    Quote Originally Posted by runningmomofmany View Post
    I would think it would be the opposite, those type A must plan everything to perfection people would be the ones who would want to know and prepare, and also are the high achievers acedemically and in their careers.
    Now that would tend to fit better I think. Type A planner/organizer here! It drives me crazy not knowing when our baby will come.....I could easily wait another year if I only knew when!

    And yeah I agreed above with you too...seems just as much a surprise at an ultrasound as at delivery.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I don't understand what the uproar is about the education/income? All the article said was that THOSE WOMEN who participated in the study who found out the sex beforehand had those characteristics. It never suggested that every women in the world who chooses to find out the sex early is uneducated and has a lower household income.

    Mothers who knew the sex of their child tended to be less educated, have lower household incomes and were less likely to be married than women who did not know.
    I definitely think there is a difference between those who want to find out and those who do not but as the article suggested it is more of a personality trait - like a planner, type A, whatever. I also think a majority of couples who find out early are more likely to subscribe to societal gender roles than those who do not, but obviously there are exceptions (so don't all flame me at once lol).

    What I didn't understand about this article is that it was only referencing the mothers as if it was only their choice to find out or not? It is not their decision alone so really how can it matter what their race, education, income or ideas of gender roles matter when someone with possibly complete opposite attributes shares 50% of this decision? At least examine the couple together!
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

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    Quote Originally Posted by macksmom View Post
    I don't understand what the uproar is about the education/income? All the article said was that THOSE WOMEN who participated in the study who found out the sex beforehand had those characteristics. It never suggested that every women in the world who chooses to find out the sex early is uneducated and has a lower household income.



    I definitely think there is a difference between those who want to find out and those who do not but as the article suggested it is more of a personality trait - like a planner, type A, whatever. I also think a majority of couples who find out early are more likely to subscribe to societal gender roles than those who do not, but obviously there are exceptions (so don't all flame me at once lol).

    What I didn't understand about this article is that it was only referencing the mothers as if it was only their choice to find out or not? It is not their decision alone so really how can it matter what their race, education, income or ideas of gender roles matter when someone with possibly complete opposite attributes shares 50% of this decision? At least examine the couple together!
    I'm surprised by that. My personal experience is that people who chose not to find out have been very traditional couples who weren't into technology. That generally coincides with traditional views of gender roles. I would predict the opposite, that most couples who chose to find out were more likely to hold non-traditional views.

    Personally, we would choose to find out, and I have a graduate degree. Since my husband works part time and I work full time, I consider us a pretty non-traditional couple.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I'm surprised by that. My personal experience is that people who chose not to find out have been very traditional couples who weren't into technology. That generally coincides with traditional views of gender roles. I would predict the opposite, that most couples who chose to find out were more likely to hold non-traditional views.

    Personally, we would choose to find out, and I have a graduate degree. Since my husband works part time and I work full time, I consider us a pretty non-traditional couple.
    That's my experience as well. I was thinking about the families i know who don't choose to know and they are often the homeschooling, home birthing, staying at home sort. of course that makes up a lot people i know well, and they tend to all have a lot of children, so a big sample size taken per pregnancy not couple. But I cant think of a single of my working outside the home friends who didnt find out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by khadijavye View Post
    I think it's crap. I was particularly offended by "Mothers who knew the sex of their child tended to be less educated, have lower household incomes and were less likely to be married than women who did not know." as I do not fit any of that criteria.

    I don't particularly believe that it says anything about a mother ... I think it's technology that we have now and most people want to use it. I felt that I was able to connect and prepare more knowing the gender of my children. And, as a matter of fact, I paid good money to find out gender SOONER this time around, via blood test, because I didn't want to announce until I knew gender. Having 2 boys already, I wanted to spare myself as much of the crap that comes out of people's mouths about gender. Being able to say "we're expecting boy #3" allowed me to head them off at the pass and avoid most of the "Aww, I hope you have a girl!" comments.
    Oh we have the same about having a boy comments!
    Sorry, it is a very narrow study and pardon me, I consider myself very educated and I educate my children on different levels and would do so despite their gender. I wanted to know the gender as I just felt I needed to think of names, visualise my babies and refer to them as he or she!

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    I think the technology aspect probably factors in as well as the "natural" approach. We never found out and we are far from traditional but we would fall under the more natural category. There are so many aspects and when you are dealing with 2 parents with 2 different personalities I think it would be very hard to make generalizations.
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  29. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Now that would tend to fit better I think. Type A planner/organizer here! It drives me crazy not knowing when our baby will come.....I could easily wait another year if I only knew when!

    And yeah I agreed above with you too...seems just as much a surprise at an ultrasound as at delivery.
    I agree with this too. The funny thing is did you know there is a type AB personality? I took a personality test in high school and it came back
    as a tie between A and B. The teacher said that some psychologist are saying there can be a mixed personality. I think its cool.
    *** Lindsay ***



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