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Thread: Baby items wwyd?

  1. #1
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    Default Baby items wwyd?

    Several months ago someone my DH works with gave us several bags of baby clothes, accessories and a bucket seat with base (he confirmed it wasn't damaged or in any accident and the expiry date is 2018, so all good there). I made sure they got a prompt thank you card.

    I would consider this person to be a work acquaintance not even a work friend or a "real" friend--I met him and his wife once when we happened to run into them at a restaurant (we live in a really small town). We've never seen them otherwise and my DH doesn't really ever mention the guy, they work in different departments and the guy is actually higher on the chain than him so socializing would be sort of awkward.

    My question is this: do you think they gave us this stuff with no expectation of getting it back or should I leave the possibility open that they might want it back? The car seat I can understand, as long as it's still in good shape we could easily hand that back.

    I could easily mark the tag of each piece they gave us so I can identify it later. I feel like since we don't really know them, they were being nice and doing something I would do and helping out someone that needed it.

    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  2. #2
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    Do you have an email address or are you fb friends? I'd just shoot them a quick note along the lines of: "BTW, just wondering if you'd like your baby items returned to you when we're finished with them so I know to set them aside for you . Thank you again for your generosity, it is a huge blessing to us!".

    It's such a tricky situation to be in...I was never sure either and if I forgot to ask, I always played it safe by assuming they *do* want their stuff back. I usually contacted them when I was through with the baby items, but if you feel that may be more awkward due to how much time will have passed, then I think messaging them now might be a better option.
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  3. #3
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    I'd definitely like to err on the side of giving the stuff back. I don't have any contact info for them at all.

    I would be fine with waiting until we're done with the items (most are 0-3 mos anyway), that's a good idea.
    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  4. #4

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    i would tag the clothing so that later when your done with it all you have the option to give it back.
    there were a few baby items that i got from other people and i marked the tags and when it was convenient i asked the givers if they wanted their baby stuff back or what i should do with it when i was done with it. (2 of the givers said to give it back and they would figure out what to do with it and the other said that it was mine to keep and to do whatever i wanted to do with it when i was done.) one of the givers only wanted it back because she knew i didn't have a place to store it.



  5. #5

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    I would never assume that people wanted baby items back unless they specified. My sil actually did ask me for clothes back a year after she had given them to me and I was shocked. I'd already passed them on to another friend as my dd had outgrown them.

  6. #6

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    That's a really good question. When I loaned people baby stuff I made it clear it was a loan. Other people have given us baby stuff and I believe they made it clear it was a gift. Along the lines of "please take this stuff, we don't need it anymore." ;)
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  7. #7

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    Personally, I would not expect the items back; I have given away all my baby stuff, mostly to vets or to people who can't afford nicer things and few items have gone to friends. But maybe check with them, just in case. I bet they do not expect it back though.
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  8. #8

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    If i were loaning baby stuff i would make sure that the recipient really knew that and i would clearly mark all my stuff so they got back to me. I also probably wouldnt send it through my husband to someone I didnt know. I'd assume they dont want it back.

    Can your DH not just email the guy to find out for sure?

  9. #9
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    I can't really imagine loaning baby clothes. My SIL and I passed maternity clothes back and forth-we were the same size and she was always pregnant about 4 months after I was delivered so it just made sense. But baby clothes...those are things I have never even dreamed I would get back. And if I were to loan them, for some reason, I would make it clear it was a loan. Now, bigger items-swings, cribs, that sort of thing-seem more loanable. But now I'm wondering if some of the bags of used clothes I have been given over the years have come with an expectation of return...?

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  10. #10
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    I always assume that clothes given to us are not wanted back unless the giver specifically says that they want them back. Thus far no one has ever wanted them back and we have just continued to pass things along.
    Jessica (33) and Ryan (33). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    My Ovulation Chart , My blog about MCAD

  11. #11
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    I too would assume it wasn't wanted back unless specifically said. I will likely be donating or giving away a lot of baby things once we are finished with our baby because my DH doesn't like to hang onto stuff we aren't using unless it is something really sentimental (a favorite toy or favorite outfit). But the big baby gear, might try to sell it but really he's going to want it out of the house. I had planned on passing to my sister but at this rate she might have a baby before me or at the same time.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #12

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    I am a safe person I always ask and never assume anything in life if it wasn't specific I just have to have that relief of hearing it but, that's just me. I always want to
    be covered on the side of caution.
    *** Lindsay ***



  13. #13
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    Personally, if they didn't say it was a loan, then I'd assume they are yours to do with as you wish. We had someone give us a huge box of baby clothes when I was pregnant, and we still have them all. I asked my mom (it was her friend's grandson's clothes) to ask them just in case and she said that since they never specified it was a loan, that we could keep them. I offered them back to her when I found out the mom's sister was pregnant with her first boy, but she didn't want them back.
    Last edited by Adhafera; 05-28-2014 at 11:18 PM.
    Jennifer


  14. #14

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    Given the circumstances, I would assume they are not looking to get it back. I was given a lot by friends/acquaintances and the only things that I offer to give back are the big ticket items like jumperoo, exersaucer, even the bumbo... "We've outgrown the bumbo, would you like it back? I know its worth something if you want to sell it, etc, if not, I have someone I could pass it on to" I would say that about the car seat after your done with it. (clothes gets stained, torn, worn, I never assume ppl want clothes back after they give them away unless they specify! There is 5 years between my girls and I pass everything from dd1 to a close friend who has a girl between mine, she returns to me what is still in good shape after her daughter uses it, but she returns things back, plus everything her dd outgrows, so thats our specific deal lol)

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