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Thread: Opinions needed. To buy the toy or not.

  1. #1

    Default Opinions needed. To buy the toy or not.

    Dd1, 3 years old, goes to school and every morning she picks out a certain toy to play with. Up until a couple of weeks ago, if someone else had the toy she would flip out and cry bc she wanted to play with it. A couple of times last week someone else had the toy and she happily grabbed a different toy to play with. So I think me explaining to her the concept of sharing is starting to sink in

    Yesterday she asked me if I could buy her the toy so she could have her own. I found it on amazon so I could totally get it. My question is, should I get it? What message am I sending her if I get it?

    She doesn't normally ask for toys or anything! She really really really loves this toy so I want to get it for her. I just don't know what to do. Wwyd?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    14,881

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    Is there an event you could give it as a gift like birthday or graduation? Does she have a piggy bank? DD2 asked me for an ariel barbie and I already picked out her grad gift so I told her she should check her piggy bank and can buy it herself if she has enough money....she had $30 in there! If she doesn't have $ maybe she could do a few things to earn it like chores or something? Even though 3 is a bit young for that. Still it would be an early lesson in earning something you want.

    If there is no occasion and no piggy bank I would probably still buy it. I don't see anything wrong with a kid getting something she asked for especially if she isn't otherwise spoiled. I don't think it's sending any message at age 3 especially if it's a one time thing.
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  3. #3

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    I can't think of an occasion...her bday is in January. She has a piggy bank and I know there's plenty of money in it but I'm not sure I wanna spend that money. DH and I put money in it all the time so it's not money she's earned.

    I like the idea of earning it! But not sure what she can do to earn it. She loves cleaning and helping out. Maybe if she can eat dinner 5 days in a row then she can earn the toy. Getting her to eat is a struggle! But I doubt I can get her to even do that.

  4. #4

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    i dont see a problem with just buying it for her. But having her earn it isnt a bad idea either. I dont really like using food as something to bargain with, but maybe you can make a sticker chart and have her try a bite of everything. I wouldnt do "eat all your dinner". That way she's getting a reward for being brave and trying new things, and not just eating.

    Could you have her do some extra chores? like pulling weeds outside? or washing mirrors and windows, or wiping down baseboards? Even if she loves to do something it's ok to use that for work. Chores dont have to be unpleasant

  5. #5

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    I would just buy her the toy. But I do not give gifts as rewards, ever. And especially not at aged 3, as I feel it would set them up to seek extrinsic rewards for regular every day expected behavior. I honestly don't see it as a big life lesson to simply buy a child a toy they ask for once in awhile, no strings attached.
    My 2 cents.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I would just buy her the toy. But I do not give gifts as rewards, ever. And especially not at aged 3, as I feel it would set them up to seek extrinsic rewards for regular every day expected behavior. I honestly don't see it as a big life lesson to simply buy a child a toy they ask for once in awhile, no strings attached.
    My 2 cents.
    Ya that was a thought of mine too.

  7. #7

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    I've been known to just buy Maiya a toy she wants, too. If she seems to really want it, and it's not just one of those "Oh, shiny!" things, and it seems like your DD does.

    I do also like to make her work for things she wants, though as Bridget said, not for expected behavior. One of my favorite things to have her to do earn money is to wash the windows! Only down low where she can reach, of course.

    But I also would say definitely not for eating.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Roswell, NM
    Posts
    656

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    I went on amazon and they have furniture built to hide litter boxes.. one looks like a plant one is built in a bench.. I put hidden litter boxes in the search I do recommend having easy access to take it out and clean it..



  9. #9

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    Have her help you clean but, don't do the food battles. Cody has had some food issues and I learned the hard way it doesn't matter if you offer them the world when it comes to food they have control no matter what. Not worth the battle IMO. I would have her do small chores around the house to earn it. Cody is learning the concept of allowance we do $14/biweekly when James gets paid for an adult it doesn't sound like much but, for a kid he gets so excited. James did chores at 5 or so when he was a kid but, it was a longer list with much less pay. We personally think kids need chores but, there are age appropriate chores that aren't overwhelming at age 3: She could help with dishes by putting away the small ones/ drying off, Sophia is 2.5 and she can put away her clothes now, I don't have her do all of her clothes because that's a lot I have her put away like 2 small piles, same with Cody he does more because he is older than her. He enjoys helping with the dishwasher he also enjoys lining up shoes it's not a "real chore" but, it makes the house look nicer so I am happy with that. The kids presents for birthdays and Christmas the in-between times are smaller more educational toys like books, puzzles, chalk, or small toys like Dollar Tree things. Since she is younger I think she'll understand doing may 1-2 small chores a day for a week to earn it or however long. JMO.
    *** Lindsay ***



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