Let me start by saying that I am not exactly disappointed I have a son. My "first child", my neighbor, who had a wonderful, loving family, but still somehow adopted me as his surrogate mom, was the light of my life until he was 15. Then he got his own life, but we still talk and I still love him dearly and am so proud of him. I am so excited to get a "real" son now!

But I do have worries about him being a boy. As I posted in NM/MIG, I worry about having a sister and brother 4.5 years apart, and how well they'll bond. I worry that he'll be more like the stereotypical boy than my surrogate son was, and that he'll be in to more violent things, like playing with guns and such, and how I'll handle that. But I'm ready to deal with those worries as they come, and they aren't getting me down.

What IS getting me down is the way others have reacted to the news that he is a boy. And it's fairly obvious that he is a boy, and I seriously doubt the U/S is wrong!

My husband and my daughter have both said that they will be happy with whatever the baby ended up being, but at one point or another, they both said they may prefer a boy. So I thought they'd be thrilled! But, alas, no. They're both like, eh, ok. My daughter has been very excited to give him a name (Multicolored, Treeheart, Treeboy, Rainbow, Pretty Candle... Ok, maybe she doesn't quite have the best REAL names for a kid, though great nicknames!), but my husband has rejected nearly every name I've listed. It's like he doesn't want to give this kid a name. And he's given me no ideas, no feedback, no nothing. It's like he just doesn't care about this kid any more.

And my mom is definitely a bit disappointed that she's getting another grandson (she has two through my brother) instead of another granddaughter. Though she, at least, is still excited about this baby, and is helping with names and all. I thought my dad would be thrilled to have a grandson here (the other two are a few states away), but even he said he is a little sad for Maiya to never have a sister, because he, too, thinks sisters would bond better (as he thinks my brother's two boys will).

And my brother... I thought he'd be ecstatic to have a nephew. But instead, even though he's put on a good face and sounds happy, I really get the feeling, from his tone of voice and again, lack of excitement, that he's a little disappointed I'm having a boy. Almost like he liked having the monopoly on boys in the family.

Hubby's family is never excited about anything for us, and has very little to do with us anyway, so their lack of excitement and involvement means little. But even amongst all my friends, I've had ONE friend say "Wow! Congratulations! Boys are so much fun!" All the others have been like "Oh, a boy, ok." Even my friend who has two boys, I thought would be excited for us to share that, but she's doesn't seem to be. Before we found out the sex, she sounded excited about throwing me a baby shower. But now that we know, she hasn't said ANYTHING about either the kid or a shower.

I don't know. Maybe this is normal lack-luster response because he's the second child, rather than because he's a boy. I don't know. All I know is people seemed so excited about Maiya. She had a name in about 2 days! This one has been two weeks, and I've had no feedback (except from my mom, and Maiya, if that counts!). And people seemed more excited about this pregnancy before we knew he is a boy, than after. But either way, whether it's gender disappointment or just second-child humdrums, I feel so bad for my son. His grandma and his sister love to feel him squirming and kicking, but other than that, I feel like no one cares about him.

Or maybe it's just pregnancy hormones and emotions, combined with stress of moving that's making me extra sensitive! I don't know. But I do know that, even though until the last few days, I was so thrilled to have a son, I am now starting to feel a bit... Sad.