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Thread: Which would you choose?

  1. #1
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    Default Which would you choose?

    DD2 has never really done an extracurricular activity except private swim lessons. She expressed interest in ballet. She loves to dress up in dresses and supposedly in this class I found they do ballet instruction and try on different outfits and stuff like that. It sounds like it is right up her alley. It's given at a gymnastics/dance studio. It's a 1 hour class once/week, works well with our schedule and is reasonably priced.

    There is also a "dance camp" offered through the town. It supposedly is ballet plus tumbling and other things. It's 2 hours. Her 2 friends (twins) from school will be in that one. DD2 LOVES these girls. She would have a great time. The price is also reasonable but it's a little more inconvenient for me. I am willing to bend our schedule a bit if it's something she would like to do. It's also once/week.

    She would love either for different reasons. With the first choice she would get more real exposure to the actual dance and also experience taking a class on her own. With the 2nd she would have the social component with her friends and would still do something enjoyable with dance but w/o the dress-up aspect. She doesn't have many other friends and it's not always easy to set up play dates. I COULD possibly do both but it may be a bit too much for her (she is also taking a private swim lesson) and she isn't really good with being over scheduled.

    BTW this is for the summer....basically July-mid August.

    So WWYD?
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  2. #2
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    Do you think she needs more opportunities to socialize or more opportunities to practice independence? Both are equally valid.

    Maybe talk out the differences with her and see if she shows an obvious preference.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geneari View Post
    Do you think she needs more opportunities to socialize or more opportunities to practice independence? Both are equally valid.

    Maybe talk out the differences with her and see if she shows an obvious preference.
    She could use both for sure.

    I was planning to discuss it with her but I think she may just jump at the one with the friends and not realize the difference between the 2. Knowing her, I know she could benefit from taking a class on her own. On the other hand, she goes to school with these girls 3 days/week now and in June will graduate and really not see them anymore unless we set up play dates. The mom is nice but busy with her older 2 kids too so I think I will have a hard time getting them together and I have enough trouble working around a baby who naps and a 7 year old who is also in lots of activities over the summer. So this would be win win even though it will be hard to get her there because it's during the baby's nap time. I may have to ask my mom to drop her off which isn't a big deal but she will be in TX for 2 weeks so I will need to do it myself for those 2 weeks. Still not such a big deal though.
    Last edited by macksmom; 05-12-2014 at 02:23 PM.
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  4. #4

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    i would do the more convenient one... she has potential to make new friends there and not just cling to the girls she already knows.


  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by froggie83 View Post
    i would do the more convenient one... she has potential to make new friends there and not just cling to the girls she already knows.
    I agree. Maybe she'll make some new friends.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  6. #6

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    I think you can't go wrong with any choice. Personally I would likely go with #1 for 2 reasons: it fits your schedule better and my experience with twins in larger families (2 or more siblings) is that their schedule is more unreliable and they may end up dropping out, getting sick, etc. so she will end up being on her own in a less desirable class and in a less desirable time. I know a couple of moms with twins plus other kids and they are very very very busy and often change their minds especially when the twins are still that young and other siblings take priority. I do not mean this post to be taken as bashing of twin moms, which is not the intent. In your situation, I would be more inclined to go with #2 if the twins were the only kids.
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by tanyachap View Post
    I think you can't go wrong with any choice. Personally I would likely go with #1 for 2 reasons: it fits your schedule better and my experience with twins in larger families (2 or more siblings) is that their schedule is more unreliable and they may end up dropping out, getting sick, etc. so she will end up being on her own in a less desirable class and in a less desirable time. I know a couple of moms with twins plus other kids and they are very very very busy and often change their minds especially when the twins are still that young and other siblings take priority. I do not mean this post to be taken as bashing of twin moms, which is not the intent. In your situation, I would be more inclined to go with #2 if the twins were the only kids.
    Good point although her kids LOVE my DD too so that would be disappointing to them as well. But I don't know her well so I guess I have no idea if she would do that. I know she is pretty spread thin with her older kids (they are 12 and 14 I think). You brought up a good point and I will keep that in mind....

    As for making new friends - she is starting kinder in Sept and will have no choice but to make new friends there so I don't really see this as clinging to old friends because she will likely not see these girls too much after Sept, but she could have an enjoyable summer with some friends rather than a summer full of carting her older sister around to various activities lol... Personally I don't see the point in her needing to make new friends when she will have plenty of time for that in the Fall and the new friends will probably not be in her school. In my experience it's hard to keep up with friends that are not involved with the school.
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  8. #8

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    I would probably go with the one with her friends in it. My DD is at a finicky age and it can take some prompting/bribing to get her to things she has committed to. If your DD isn't as used to classes, she may need the incentive of seeing her friends to get her there consistently. At least this is something we are experiencing with DD and t- ball. If a bunch of her friends from school weren't on the team, I think we would struggle to get her to the field each Sunday.

  9. #9

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    Each one would offer different benefits so you have to figure out which one is more important for you. I would pick #2 for DD1 and #1 option for DD2. My older one is good at anything she tries but has a harder time making friends. She is also at the age (almost 8) where she is forming potentially long term friendships so I am more willing to invest into the "friendship" piece. DD2 is younger (almost 6) and we are desperately want to find an activity that she likes and is good at. She really isn't at the age when she is super close to her friends yet so I would be making my investment into finding a good activity for her vs. the friendship investment. So you have to decide what's most important for you and her and go from there.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by preciousnd98 View Post
    I would probably go with the one with her friends in it. My DD is at a finicky age and it can take some prompting/bribing to get her to things she has committed to. If your DD isn't as used to classes, she may need the incentive of seeing her friends to get her there consistently. At least this is something we are experiencing with DD and t- ball. If a bunch of her friends from school weren't on the team, I think we would struggle to get her to the field each Sunday.
    Yeah she is shy and all she has done on her own is preschool which was a disaster at first but she adjusted. She is used to having her sister do things with her so this is new territory for her. I want her to learn to do things on her own but she is still young and DD1 was not doing anything on her own w/o me at this age.

    Quote Originally Posted by martiniqus View Post
    Each one would offer different benefits so you have to figure out which one is more important for you. I would pick #2 for DD1 and #1 option for DD2. My older one is good at anything she tries but has a harder time making friends. She is also at the age (almost 8) where she is forming potentially long term friendships so I am more willing to invest into the "friendship" piece. DD2 is younger (almost 6) and we are desperately want to find an activity that she likes and is good at. She really isn't at the age when she is super close to her friends yet so I would be making my investment into finding a good activity for her vs. the friendship investment. So you have to decide what's most important for you and her and go from there.
    I don't really care to find something she is interested in yet. It would be nice but I feel like she is so young, she has plenty of time to find what she likes. DD1 has done a lot of different things so far and still has not found something she is really into. That may not even happen until she is older too. That part doesn't bother me. I just know DD2 would really enjoy the solo ballet class but would really love to be in a class with her friends and I feel badly for her that she will not see them anymore because she really loves them. I think it's a good opportunity for her to get a dose of friends once a week and it takes a little pressure off me to feel like I need to find her play dates....it's also ballet which she was asking for.

    She does know about the other class already though so she may be disappointed if she can't do that one too. I really don't mind doing both but it might get to be a lot. Gah.
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  11. #11
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    I'd go with #2 and if she is serious about ballet in general I would sign her up for new term classes. I personally think having more than just ballet in the curriculum and longer class where you can actually run an errand or two yourself will suit both of you more. Twins or no twins she will have fun. And it seems more relaxed and engaging.

    Either way explain to her clearly about both classes and give her a choice. Don't mention friend factor but just the benefits of both classes. She is bin enough to understand and she is big enough to know she can't change her mind mind once she starts the classes.
    Miss T (10.17.2008) Miss A(06.30.2012) Flipper #3 due 06.2014
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  12. #12

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    I would sign her up for both. It's only for a short time, both sound like they offer distinct benefits, and it will keep her busy and burning off energy. My kids are always in a few things at one time (right now it's art on Mondays, tennis on Fridays and soccer on Sundays). If it seems like too much for them or me, we scale it back. But at the moment they love being busy - it's not like they are doing homework or anything yet.

  13. #13
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    So I spoke to DH about it and we decided we thought the class with friends would be better. So I spoke to her about it this morning....she chose the one w/o the friends!!! I explained both to her. She said she would rather dress up and doesn't care if she is not with her friends. This kid never ceases to amaze me. Since it is the better choice I guess we will just go with that one. She doesn't do well with having to do too many activities so I don't think both is a good idea. For DD1 - totally but DD2 is more of a homebody.

    I know the twins fight over her sometimes. Maybe it's not as great as I think it is. Maybe she doesn't mind a little break from them? Not doing that class will make our whole schedule easier though....

    I am kind of proud of her for choosing something she wants rather than following others!
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  14. #14

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    It is great she made such a choice. It shows you that she is really independent and sticks to her interests; plus it makes life easy for you
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  15. #15
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    Good for her for following what she loves!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  16. #16

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    That is great that she made her own choice! I hope she enjoys it - I know my DD would LOVE a ballet class where you get to dress up! lol


    Anne (37) DH (37) Olivia (4) Harrison (1)

  17. #17

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    I personally would try the different one for her that's closer. I wouldn't worry about fitting in two of them unless you really wanted to. I think it might be a lot to do two at a time.
    *** Lindsay ***



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