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Thread: Heaven

  1. #1
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    Default Heaven

    Our baby is now in heaven.... Im grieving. I just got home from the hospital, this was an experience I've never had before. I'm very weak. I will update later after I rest. Thank you all so much for your very kind thoughts and prayers. My emotions have gotten the best of me

    In my heart, it's hard to say goodbye...
    waiting for our hearts to healBrittany(27)DH(39) DS-Tristan(4) DD-Brooke(3) DS-Preston(1)*my miracles*

    12/05/07 14wks, 10/10/08 9wks, 12/20/13 8wks, 05/06/14 10wks

  2. #2
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    Breaks our hearts, but maybe there's comfort that your little one is in the best of company

    Your u/s pic is beautiful...what a sweet and precious angel

    I'm so sorry s/he had to go so soon

  3. #3
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    Nov 2012
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    Praying for you and thinking of your sweet angel

  4. #4

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    Praying for you through tears.

  5. #5

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    I'm so, so sorry. There are no words I can express that will bring you comfort. Know that there are many here offering our deepest sympathies, me included.

  6. #6
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    I'm so so sorry :-( Just breaks my heart to see this happen to such a good person and loving mother. Prayers sent your way.

  7. #7

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    I'm not in this room, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss.




  8. #8
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    Thank you everyone.... I just love this group, that's why I always come back here


    I don't want to give too many details because I don't want it to scare anyone.

    At 2 am this morning I was having a lot of pain in my uterus and vagina... It woke me from my sleep. I lay in bed for an hour, staring at my daughter (her and DH swapped spots for the night), her little pouty lips were so cute. I kept praying for the pain to go away at 3:30am the intense bleeding started. By 5 am my whole body was shaking uncontrollably, I hadn't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour because I was bleeding too fast. Fast forward to 11am, I was nauseous, weak, and very pail. I kept clinging to the hope that my "sch" had bled out very badly. The rn took my stats and my BP was 37. She quickly called the doctor in. He did an u/s and confirmed loss of fetal heart tones. He said the baby was no longer attached but my "product of conception" ( I HATE that word) was still inside. He suggested d&c, I refused, he said misoprostol to move things along, I refused (bad experience with that in my 2nd loss). Talked about risk of infection, blah blah blah..... Sent over to do lab work. I was standing in line and I was seeing spots everywhere. I kept trying to breathe. I felt so ill. When I got called to the check in window I started walking forward and passed out. It was quick, I heard them call code and 2 urgent care RNs came in and put me in a chair. The ob doctor I had seen came in too. My sugar was 70 but I don't recall the BP at that point. I drank that orange stuff for the GD test and they started an IV of fluids. Had my blood drawn..... Heading into urgent care in a wheelchair I passed out again I don't know what was happening with my body. I felt so out of control. I was sobbing so hard I could barely breathe. After one bag of IV I signed an AMA form. I just wanted to go home and grieve.

    I know this seems detailed but I left out 6 terrifying hours at home.

    I have discomfort down there, but my body is trying to work, it is to be expected. I'm still resting, DH is doing okay. I will go in on the 15th for another scan. Then in 6 weeks I will do genetics. I feel right now that I can not do this anymore and as bad as I wanted to finish my family with a fourth, perhaps it's just not in the cards.
    waiting for our hearts to healBrittany(27)DH(39) DS-Tristan(4) DD-Brooke(3) DS-Preston(1)*my miracles*

    12/05/07 14wks, 10/10/08 9wks, 12/20/13 8wks, 05/06/14 10wks

  9. #9
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    Iowa
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    I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say but I am so sorry.
    Lizzy (28) DH (27) DH diagnosed with CBAVD 6/2013 TTC since 10/2011 STC since 10/2012 5 "fur"kids

  10. #10

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    Brittany! I am so sad for your loss and so sad that the m/c has been so violent on top of traumatic.

    I am praying for quick physical healing for you and hopefully some answers from the genetics testing.

    I don't blame you for refusing the d&c. There were so many times, post m/c, where I'd have a flash of thought "what if they were wrong?!?" And then I'd remind myself that everything passed (didn't do d&c either) naturally and that gives me some peace in those moments.

    It feels completely impossible, the thought of trying again right now. Give yourself time to grieve and breathe before you make any decisions. again!!
    Last edited by khadijavye; 05-06-2014 at 07:36 PM.
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  11. #11
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    Oh my word Brittany how awful and terrifying ! I'm so very very very sorry things went the way they did . Praying your body does what is needed...lots of healing thoughts for you .

    Please kup and stay in touch

  12. #12

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers
    Jen (33), DH (36), DS (3), Baby #2 EDD 10/21/14


    Lost a loved baby 9/2012

  13. #13
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    Oct 2013
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    I'm so sorry to hear your story. Hope you find the time and place for grieving and healing
    Sabrina [33], DH [33] and our precious shaka-girl


  14. #14

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    I am so, so sorry for your loss, Brittany. Kelly is right, your little angel is in good company, our angels will take great care of her and show her the ropes in the beautiful place where they are all waiting for us to join them. I know how impossible it is to find comfort in anything right now, just know that we are all here for you

  15. #15
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    Brittany, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and the experience you had today. I use to work as a medical assistant and I would never allowed you to walk to lab in that kind of condition. You deserved better treatment than that. I will be praying for your healing physical, emotional, and spiritual. No one can have the losses you have recently and not need time to grieve and heal. I like to think all our heavenly loves are playing together.We all love you and are here for you.

  16. #16
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Huge hugs

  17. #17
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    I'm so very very sorry for the loss of your sweet BABY (I can not believe the doctor said that other phrase in front of you while you were going through everything.) My heart just aches for you reading this. Praying for you as you grieve, and praying you get some answers later.

  18. #18
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    I am so sorry for your loss! Lots of prayers!
    Jennifer


  19. #19

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    I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. I know there's nothing I can say to ease your pain. Just know that I am praying for you. Big (((HUGS)))

  20. #20
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    Mississippi
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    I'm so sorry for your loss Brittany. Praying for you and your DH.

    Lauren (29) Wife of 10 years to J.R.(30) Mom to Bayleigh (8) & Jack (3)

  21. #21

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    So sorry that you had to experience all of this. Prayers for your little angel and healing for you and your family!
    ~Andrea~


  22. #22
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    My heart hurts for you Brittany and I know this is never easy. I will be praying for you!
    Me-Kelly (29) DH-Phillip (33) 2 unexplained losses. Ready for a rainbow baby!

  23. #23

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    So sorry for your loss!!

  24. #24

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    I'm so sorry!! I've had my share of losses too! Praying for you and your family!!

  25. #25
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    Thank you so much everyone. Just reading all your kind words and wishes of healing and prayer warms my heart.
    waiting for our hearts to healBrittany(27)DH(39) DS-Tristan(4) DD-Brooke(3) DS-Preston(1)*my miracles*

    12/05/07 14wks, 10/10/08 9wks, 12/20/13 8wks, 05/06/14 10wks

  26. #26
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    That sounds so scary. ): You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  27. #27

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    Brittany, Ive just seen this, Im so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you so much! Praying you have a speedy recovery and you heal emotionally.
    Married mom of 2. DH- (34) ME (32)
    Aaron- 7 April 2006, Niamh-13 March 2010......#3 due 28th November 2014



  28. #28
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    Thank you.
    waiting for our hearts to healBrittany(27)DH(39) DS-Tristan(4) DD-Brooke(3) DS-Preston(1)*my miracles*

    12/05/07 14wks, 10/10/08 9wks, 12/20/13 8wks, 05/06/14 10wks

  29. #29
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    Jul 2012
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    I am so sorry for your loss Brittany
    STC Since 5/2012
    1/20/13 7/7/13


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