Results 1 to 29 of 29

Thread: the start of success and a vent

Hybrid View

  1. #1

    Default the start of success and a vent

    so lastnight dd was refusing to wear a diaper so i let her go bare bum and put the potty out. after about 30 minutes i told her to sit on the potty and try to pee and she went!!! she used the potty and had zero accidents from 5pm till bedtime (8pm) then this morning she has already pooped and peed in the potty! hoping this is a training success.
    but i probably just jinxed myself by sharing the good news on here. lol.

    the vent: sil is making me look bad..... she has twins that are 1 month older than ds, a full time job, keeps her house cleaner than i do and she is going to graduate with her MASTERS in a month. i can barely keep a clean house..... thats all.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    14,664

    Default

    But does your SIL have a husband that helps? And if she works full-time, the twins are probably in day care, right? It's easier to keep a house clean if you aren't there that much.
    As far as getting the masters, well that is great and all but often they aren't THAT hard to get. I have one and got it while working full-time. I didn't have kids but my bff got hers while working with a kid....her husband was really pretty helpful.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  3. #3

    Default

    i would have to say that no he does not help. he is a video game playing just want to relax after a full day of work kind of guy that is also lazy when it comes to housework. he will fix broken stuff, is re-modeling their basement and will keep the exterior of the house looking orderly... but she does it all, and walks the 2 dogs regularly.
    the twins go to a sitters house while shes at work.


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    3,544

    Default

    I hope this is the start of more success in potty training!!

    Comparison is the thief of joy.

    I agree some Master's aren't very hard to get, depends on the subject and exit requirements like thesis or exam or just complete xx number of classes. Like I started with a thesis degree but I'm going to switch to a course-based that requires an oral examination (sounds dirty) to finish, much easier.
    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Geneari View Post
    I hope this is the start of more success in potty training!!

    Comparison is the thief of joy.

    I agree some Master's aren't very hard to get, depends on the subject and exit requirements like thesis or exam or just complete xx number of classes. Like I started with a thesis degree but I'm going to switch to a course-based that requires an oral examination (sounds dirty) to finish, much easier.
    I like this so much!! I'm making it my signature on my phone!!

  6. #6

    Default

    Don't compare yourself to your SIL! Who cares if she has a cleaner house? I agree with the PP who said that if they are not in the house, then the house is easier to clean. My house is the cleanest on the days we spend all day going out. There isn't much to clean if the kids aren't around to make a mess.

    I also agree that getting a masters is not that hard. Mine was really easy, too.

    Everyone has weaknesses and strengths. I am sure there are areas where you are better than her, but really life is not a competition of who is better than whom in any area. Try to let it go.

  7. #7

    Default

    For one potty training at two years old is a tough task! We are still working with Sophia and though Sophia is happy about it but, she has only gone twice in a few weeks. Its a working process I do believe potty training in my opinion is one of the hardest tasks a mom can have at least it is for me. We all have our struggles. The house things takes time my house sure as heck is NOT spotless 24/7. I am not a neat freak but, I try very hard to keep up. Your kids are a bit younger than mine and honestly its easier when Cody is in school and Sophia is napping to get things done. It gets easier as they get older and the cool thing is though not everyone will agree with me is they can start helping. Cody and Sophia typically put away their toys nightly so it doesn't build up. Sophia jumps with joy to help put away her clothes- Cody might grumble but, its teaching independence they will grumble on occasion but, you are doing your job by showing them how to be independent. KWIM? Your SIL might have a clearer house but, at least you get to see your kids more often. Yeah that might sound snotty but, the immature side of me thinks if she is going to boost that she is better than you, you can think to yourself positive things of how you have it better. Having a spotless house isn't always the enjoyable way to live IMO. My mom was a neat freak and I can honestly say I don't remember much of her actually sitting down and playing with us. That's sad to say the mom that lived off my her ex's child support that cleaned while we were at school and all day when we were at home didn't have anytime to play with her kids VS my dad who worked 60 hours a week and when he saw us sure, his house was messy at times but, frankly I enjoyed my dad's quality more than a perfect house. I view it as long as the kids are happy, healthy, and nurtured the dishes or laundry within reason can wait. As far as the master's degree I can't speak on that at all. I don't have college education.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    14,766

    Default

    Why do you care what she is doing? Is she happy? What is her daily life like? Maybe she wishes she could be home with her kids. Maybe she is miserable. Maybe she feels like she HAS to do these things to afford a comfortable life or that something is missing from her life, etc. You really don't know others' day to day and how they go about their lives. It's best not to compare yourself to others especially when you lives are totally different.

    I agree that it's not that hard to keep your house clean when you are gone all day. I try to remind myself of this many times when I feel like all I do is clean up messes.....

    How is she making you look bad? Is someone else comparing you to her? It sounds like you lead two very different lives and they can't be compared.

    Congrats on the PT!
    Thing 1 (7), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  9. #9

    Default

    i wanted to be a teacher. i wanted to teach kindergarten. i have an associates degree and can't even get a job at a daycare because they are all closing...
    she is a highschool english teacher, with a bachelors in english education and now a masters in education with specialization in reading. everything she puts on fb makes me feel like she is trying to show me that shes better than i am, at first i thought it was just me but other family has commented on it to my face that she seems to be doing things better than we are.
    i try not to let it get to me but lately i have been struggling with simply keeping up with house cleaning. i just want to be lazy. (not even my sewing and crocheting crafts are getting attention... )
    i think i am jealous of all the stuff shes bragging about. and i have no reason to be because we are different people with similar interests.

    (at christmas she made everyone a crochet scarf.... my aunt asked me if she was trying to make me feel bad because i am the crocheter in the family and that she didn't even know that sil knew how to crochet.)

    i am hoping that this is the start of good pt-ing. she did almost as good before nap.. with the exception of pooing on the hardwood floor instead of the potty. but used the potty to pee several times. ds pt was similar... he refused diapers and just started using the potty. it continues!


  10. #10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by froggie83 View Post
    i wanted to be a teacher. i wanted to teach kindergarten. i have an associates degree and can't even get a job at a daycare because they are all closing...
    she is a highschool english teacher, with a bachelors in english education and now a masters in education with specialization in reading. everything she puts on fb makes me feel like she is trying to show me that shes better than i am, at first i thought it was just me but other family has commented on it to my face that she seems to be doing things better than we are.
    i try not to let it get to me but lately i have been struggling with simply keeping up with house cleaning. i just want to be lazy. (not even my sewing and crocheting crafts are getting attention... )
    i think i am jealous of all the stuff shes bragging about. and i have no reason to be because we are different people with similar interests.

    (at christmas she made everyone a crochet scarf.... my aunt asked me if she was trying to make me feel bad because i am the crocheter in the family and that she didn't even know that sil knew how to crochet.)

    i am hoping that this is the start of good pt-ing. she did almost as good before nap.. with the exception of pooing on the hardwood floor instead of the potty. but used the potty to pee several times. ds pt was similar... he refused diapers and just started using the potty. it continues!
    Congrats on the potty success!

    I have found, in my experience, that those who are always posting to the world about how wonderful their lives are tend to be the ones who really aren't that happy. They are putting on a really good front for the world to think their lives are perfect. And even if she seems to have it all together, it would seem that she isn't all that confident in herself if she has to prove to the world that she is "better" than others. It is really hard not to compare ourselves, especially when the person with the "perfect" FB life has similar interests to us. I have a FB "friend" who I really need to hide who is the prime example of this. But I no longer talk to her IRL because she has gone a bit psycho on a couple of our mutual friends and seems to have trouble maintaining true friendships. But according to her FB life, everything is peachy keen and she has just the best life in the world!


    Anne (37) DH (37) Olivia (4) Harrison (1)

  11. #11

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by froggie83 View Post
    i wanted to be a teacher. i wanted to teach kindergarten. i have an associates degree and can't even get a job at a daycare because they are all closing...
    she is a highschool english teacher, with a bachelors in english education and now a masters in education with specialization in reading. everything she puts on fb makes me feel like she is trying to show me that shes better than i am, at first i thought it was just me but other family has commented on it to my face that she seems to be doing things better than we are.
    i try not to let it get to me but lately i have been struggling with simply keeping up with house cleaning. i just want to be lazy. (not even my sewing and crocheting crafts are getting attention... )
    i think i am jealous of all the stuff shes bragging about. and i have no reason to be because we are different people with similar interests.

    (at christmas she made everyone a crochet scarf.... my aunt asked me if she was trying to make me feel bad because i am the crocheter in the family and that she didn't even know that sil knew how to crochet.)

    i am hoping that this is the start of good pt-ing. she did almost as good before nap.. with the exception of pooing on the hardwood floor instead of the potty. but used the potty to pee several times. ds pt was similar... he refused diapers and just started using the potty. it continues!
    Even if its not something you can do right now its still possible for you to earn your teaching degree an associates is a great start I know in Indiana an associate's is enough to be a substitute teacher or a teacher's aide the school system now is really needing subs and maybe where you are at that could be a start. People use FB sometimes to brag and its not cool. I've know many people to do that. Its so great about your daughter potty training!

  12. #12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mom2CodySophia0811 View Post
    Even if its not something you can do right now its still possible for you to earn your teaching degree an associates is a great start I know in Indiana an associate's is enough to be a substitute teacher or a teacher's aide the school system now is really needing subs and maybe where you are at that could be a start. People use FB sometimes to brag and its not cool. I've know many people to do that. Its so great about your daughter potty training!
    if i were to try to get a degree to teach i would have to start over. most of my classes were taken right before the switch and will no longer transfer.
    when i started classes you could teach kindergarten and younger with just an associates. the year i graduated they changed it to needing a bachelors for that. all my classes were for the associates and only 2 or 3 will still transfer. now a days thats not even one semester. i looked into it and it is just not going to be something i will do. i have 2 other options for schooling should i desire to work outside the home though. cosmetology and nursing. dh thinks i should do the cosmetology and be a nail tech because i do my own nails and they are nearly perfect every time. i am currently looking into that. and so far i can't find a beauty school near enough that will let me just do the nails part.

    on another note... baby girl pooed on the floor again. how do i get her to do that on the potty? she was less than 3 ft from it this time
    making the wets in the potty though.


  13. #13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by froggie83 View Post
    if i were to try to get a degree to teach i would have to start over. most of my classes were taken right before the switch and will no longer transfer.
    when i started classes you could teach kindergarten and younger with just an associates. the year i graduated they changed it to needing a bachelors for that. all my classes were for the associates and only 2 or 3 will still transfer. now a days thats not even one semester. i looked into it and it is just not going to be something i will do. i have 2 other options for schooling should i desire to work outside the home though. cosmetology and nursing. dh thinks i should do the cosmetology and be a nail tech because i do my own nails and they are nearly perfect every time. i am currently looking into that. and so far i can't find a beauty school near enough that will let me just do the nails part.

    on another note... baby girl pooed on the floor again. how do i get her to do that on the potty? she was less than 3 ft from it this time
    making the wets in the potty though.
    The cosmology is a great idea because if you qualify for financial aide which most people do you probably won't need a gigantic loan. As for her pooing on the potty try to set a timer when she sits on the potty I do two minutes for Sophia since she is two and just tell her to sit there. We haven't had any luck with poop yet but, I find that her sitting there with a toy or a book helps her stay put.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    14,766

    Default

    Definitely ignore FB. I know it's hard but you really don't get a clear picture of someone's life. You would think some people have a perfect life where things never go wrong and they love everything and everyone all the time with the way some people post. Some are always negative and needy. That doesn't mean they are always like that. Some people have to brag about everything they do which I think is kind of lame. I just really would try not to concern yourself with what other people do or how their lives look. Put that energy towards your own goals. If you want to house to be cleaner set up a schedule or start with small jobs. If you want to be a teacher find out how you can achieve that even if you have to take 1 class/semester. Comparing yourself to others will do nothing but make you miserable!

    As for PTing imo she is way too young to worry about it. If you had some success and she was into it that is great. If she is not getting it I would really back off. It certainly wont contribute to your desire to keep your house cleaner!
    Thing 1 (7), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  15. #15

    Default

    I love that "Comparison is the Theif of Joy" because it is so so so so true. If you must, just block her from your feed. But at the same time, I am not sure that her sharing her own success is such a bad thing. I'd rather see my friends and family doing well and being proud of that, than the opposite.
    Just focus on what you can control, and that is yourself. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing.
    so cool that potty training is moving along. That's a huge accomplishment!

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    14,336

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I love that "Comparison is the Theif of Joy" because it is so so so so true. If you must, just block her from your feed. But at the same time, I am not sure that her sharing her own success is such a bad thing. I'd rather see my friends and family doing well and being proud of that, than the opposite.
    Just focus on what you can control, and that is yourself. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing.
    so cool that potty training is moving along. That's a huge accomplishment!
    ITA! I think it is great when people share their successes but if it is making your feel bad, don't read. I have found that often people who seem to have the perfect life do not (in vast majority of cases) have a perfect life. You say that her husband is a guy who likes to sit around and play video games instead of helping her. That by itself sucks horribly. I cannot imagine my DH doing that.

    I also do not think you can believe everything you read on FB (or any type of online source like that) ... it is easy to put out there what you want people to see.

    Also, you have posted here about some of your struggles and sometimes it is the perception that you may have vs. her trying to make you feel bad. For example, my friend has a really great husband and during a small group in church she was talking to other moms about him. She was telling us how he treated her well and that she wished every woman had a husband like him. One woman in the group was having some marital troubles at the time and she took it as "she is just rubbing this in, saying it to make me feel bad" and a couple of years later this blew up into a huge incident. My friend was never saying it to make the other woman feel bad, she was just saying that every woman deserves to be treated like that by her husband. They did not see each other for a couple of years and when they came across each other, the other woman just flew off the handle at my friend. To the point that the church pastor had to get involved. Basically, for two years she was angry about what my friend said - even though it was not directed at her at all.

  17. #17

    Default

    its hard not to take it personally when dh posts pics of the zoo and a few days later she posts 2x as many pics of the zoo where they live. dh posted pics of progress on our remodeling projects and a week later shes posting pics about theirs. i was tagged in a pic a friend posted of me and the kids at the library during story time and within a few days she posted several pics of her twins at a library.
    every time my mother talks about them she gets the feeling like they are trying to flaunt that they have more money than we do. i am glad that they live a 6 hour drive away from us and have to work so often that they can't come out very often.

    i do see areas where there is room for jealousy on her part and maybe thats why she is always trying to 'one-up' us. she force potty trained her twins and complained about it. i didn't train ds, i let him direct the training and he ended up training himself. we both had the same due date when we were pg with our first kids and those 3 got compared all the time. the 3 of them are still being compared... weight, height, developmental milestones, etc.
    the only reason i don't hide her fb stuff is because without seeing her stuff i have no idea how my nieces are doing. we all live to far and i don't want to miss out on seeing them grow up kwim?


    if dd has a diaper on she will just potty in it. if shes bare bottom she will use the potty. all on her own. pooing will have to come along in time. since she was closer to the potty the second time she may understand that she supposed to do it on the potty and just not get there in time. we shall see how today goes


  18. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    14,766

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by froggie83 View Post
    its hard not to take it personally when dh posts pics of the zoo and a few days later she posts 2x as many pics of the zoo where they live. dh posted pics of progress on our remodeling projects and a week later shes posting pics about theirs. i was tagged in a pic a friend posted of me and the kids at the library during story time and within a few days she posted several pics of her twins at a library.
    every time my mother talks about them she gets the feeling like they are trying to flaunt that they have more money than we do. i am glad that they live a 6 hour drive away from us and have to work so often that they can't come out very often.

    i do see areas where there is room for jealousy on her part and maybe thats why she is always trying to 'one-up' us. she force potty trained her twins and complained about it. i didn't train ds, i let him direct the training and he ended up training himself. we both had the same due date when we were pg with our first kids and those 3 got compared all the time. the 3 of them are still being compared... weight, height, developmental milestones, etc.
    the only reason i don't hide her fb stuff is because without seeing her stuff i have no idea how my nieces are doing. we all live to far and i don't want to miss out on seeing them grow up kwim?


    if dd has a diaper on she will just potty in it. if shes bare bottom she will use the potty. all on her own. pooing will have to come along in time. since she was closer to the potty the second time she may understand that she supposed to do it on the potty and just not get there in time. we shall see how today goes
    If she is in fact trying to one up or compare herself to you that is really sad for her. Clearly she doesn't have the perfect life she appears to if she needs to go around doing that. That isn't a normal, healthy thing to do. That alone would make me feel better about my own situation! She sounds very immature if that is really what is happening and not just perceived.
    Thing 1 (7), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  19. #19
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    14,664

    Default

    If you all are in the same age group and have kids the same ages, it's not unreasonable that you all might do the same things. I mean going to the zoo and the library story time aren't really uncommon things. I mean we joke sometimes that our neighbor has to cut his grass every time we cut ours and it does seem like he's copying us. But really the grass just needed cutting.

    As far as posting a lot more pictures....well I also live 5-6 hours from all the family. I post way more pictures than my sister does who lives 5 minutes from our parents. I posted a few hundred pictures when we were building out house....it wasn't to show off or brag but my dad really wanted to see the daily progress and it was an easy and fast way for me to share with him.

    And it is not always easy to be the relative with more money. I adore my sister and wouldn't ever want to make her feel bad. I have tried to curb down on sharing with them at least some on stuff I'm doing or buying. But I cannot hide everything. And if the situation is ever reversed and she's making a lot more money, I would be so thrilled for her and would want to see what she is up to.
    On the other hand, she's going to try to have a baby soon and we will hopefully have kids close in age. I'm jealous that she lives 5 minutes from our parents and her kid will get to see them and be so much closer to them than my kid will be. I wouldn't want to see her posting less pictures of the kid though just because I'm jealous of the closeness.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  20. #20

    Default

    V pooed in the potty!!!! i had her in a diaper most of today as we were outside and right after dinner she took off a clean dry diaper so she could go on the potty! i think its time for a trip to the store for some big girl undies. do they make them in a size 18-24 mos? 2t clothing is still to big on her.


  21. #21

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by froggie83 View Post
    V pooed in the potty!!!! i had her in a diaper most of today as we were outside and right after dinner she took off a clean dry diaper so she could go on the potty! i think its time for a trip to the store for some big girl undies. do they make them in a size 18-24 mos? 2t clothing is still to big on her.
    I have not seen smaller than 2T for undies. My Sophia is very petite she has a chubby normal toddler belly but, no rear end and she was wearing a dress the other day I didn't have a diaper cover so I used a solid color undie and those things were baggy! My plan is when it comes time for Sophia to switch I am going to put a little stitch in the back of her undies so they don't fall off.
    Go Vivian!!! Woot !!!!!!!!!

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    14,336

    Default

    Woo hoo!!! That is great! I had hard time finding undies for DS because he was too small. I never found anything below 2T in the US and those were huge. My mom shipped smaller ones from Europe to me. So I would check online, there may be someone selling imported undies.

  23. #23

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by impatient View Post
    Woo hoo!!! That is great! I had hard time finding undies for DS because he was too small. I never found anything below 2T in the US and those were huge. My mom shipped smaller ones from Europe to me. So I would check online, there may be someone selling imported undies.
    Not to hijack OP's thread but, that's awesome.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    12,243
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    I ave found that FB does not necessarily depict real life. In fact, there are some people who blatantly lie in their status updates...so please try not to let her bother you! She probably didn't post the crappy stuff...the arguments with dh, struggles with the kids, the test she didn't do well on, etc.

    're: your degree, what about teaching at a private school? Aren't their degree requirements a little different from state schools? If you want to work with kids, are there other options for now? Li k e teaching classes thru the park district or being a teacher's aide at a regular school? I do sympathize about t h e job market...it isn't at its best right now.

    ~ Cassie, mama to Madison (8), Ali (4) & Wesley (new dude!)


  25. #25

    Default

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/NEW-Toddler-...item54084fa6f4 I just checked ebay and those ^ are some that I found

  26. #26

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mom2CodySophia0811 View Post
    http://www.ebay.com/itm/NEW-Toddler-...item54084fa6f4 I just checked ebay and those ^ are some that I found
    thanks for finding this! but the listing ended before i got a chance to show them to dh. i think i will talk to mom about altering some 2t undies to make them fit her tiny hiny. (the training pants fit her perfectly and will absorb any accident she may have so i know that i can use those and pray that her little bottom grows enough to fit a 2t when she decides that she refuses to wear the training pants.)

    i hope that she continues to use the potty too. we didn't have tons of home time to be bare bottom, we were outside and went shopping and ran other errands and for convenience i just diapered her. today is another out and about kind of day so tomorrow we will resume with the bare bottom and see if she remembers how to use the potty


  27. #27

    Default

    We wore the Gerber cotton training pants. These come in 18 mo. http://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Girls-P...training+pants They are just like thick underwear so she might not think of them as training pants.

    My DD is super small for her size so we had issues, too. She is now almost 4 1/2 and her 2T ones still fit her - now they probably fit the way they are supposed to! lol She doesn't need the training pants anymore, but she likes to wear them to bed. They seem like they would be pretty comfortable!


    Anne (37) DH (37) Olivia (4) Harrison (1)

  28. #28

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by preciousnd98 View Post
    We wore the Gerber cotton training pants. These come in 18 mo. http://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Girls-P...training+pants They are just like thick underwear so she might not think of them as training pants.

    My DD is super small for her size so we had issues, too. She is now almost 4 1/2 and her 2T ones still fit her - now they probably fit the way they are supposed to! lol She doesn't need the training pants anymore, but she likes to wear them to bed. They seem like they would be pretty comfortable!
    I like this idea better those are super cute!

  29. #29

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by preciousnd98 View Post
    We wore the Gerber cotton training pants. These come in 18 mo. http://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Girls-P...training+pants They are just like thick underwear so she might not think of them as training pants.

    My DD is super small for her size so we had issues, too. She is now almost 4 1/2 and her 2T ones still fit her - now they probably fit the way they are supposed to! lol She doesn't need the training pants anymore, but she likes to wear them to bed. They seem like they would be pretty comfortable!
    those are exactly like the homemade training pants that we have! my mom got the stuff and spent like 40$ to make like 18 of them. they sell them for 15$ each! so glad that mom can sew and that we got the materials on sale. will be using those for a while till a 2t underpant will fit her. (or can be simply altered to fit!)


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •