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Thread: ALmost 4 year old sleep issue

  1. #1

    Default ALmost 4 year old sleep issue

    DD has her own room as she has allergies and her bedding is hypoallergenic. DS sleeps with me in my room in his own crib.. Since DH is not in town M-F(work/School related), I handle the kids by myself at night..Inlaws are at home helping out but I dont disturn them during the night as they watch DS during teh day.

    DS still wakes up one time to feed.. DD goes to sleep in her room with no issues(after her nighttime routine).. However anywhere after 12am she will wake up and come to my room. I have to walk her back to her room and wait till she falls asleep. She will do this 2-3 times at night. Just frustrated I sometimes go and lie down next to her for the rest of the night, then she doesnt wake up. If I ask her she tells me she wants me.. I have tried explaing that if she sleeps by herself and not coem to my room, she will get a treat next day, get her goodies etc.. But she will say Ok during the day but not stick to her works during the night..

    Between DD and DS I wake up 4-5 times at night. and I work full time.
    Can someone give me tips/pointers on how to get her to sleep independently and sleep thro the night without waking up so many times.. When somebody sleeps next to her she doesnt wake up at all.. even if she does she falls back asleep..
    Me-(35), DH(37), DD(4y1m) DS(13month)

  2. #2


    I'm sorry you're going through that frustration. We've been there too. We didn't transition DS1 to his own bed until 4.5. He would get back up and climb in with me and I did not redirect him. As greedy and selfish as it sounds, my sleep has always been the priority. Over the course of the next 7 months he basically weaned himself from coming into my bed. He now wakes up around 7am and is just ready to greet the day. Prior to that, he was waking up around 5am and coming in to sleep the rest of the night/morning. He basically weaned down from getting up a 2am to come in, to 5am, and now rarely comes in for a cuddle and doesn't really sleep any additional time in my bed.

    I don't really have any tips, obviously, except to say that they will do it on their own when they are ready, with some gentle pushing (DS1 didn't want to sleep in his own bed at all, at first).
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009


    Mine (also 4) will lie in bed and yell 'Mama, where are you?'. Then, I'll go and sleep next to her, and she'll sleep through the night. *When* she does this will vary from day to day, so sometimes, it is at 2:00, sometimes not until 6:30, and sometimes, not at all. I'm okay with that, since I sleep better in her room than I do in my own.

  4. #4


    Dorcas and I have similar approaches, it sounds like. My DD (3.5) has always been a frequent waker, and I very quickly got over the musical beds game in favor of getting more sleep as well. I am taking a leap of faith that DD will eventually stay in her bed on her own as she gets a bit older. A few times a month she will sleep completely through the night in her own bed. Unless she is screaming terrified from a nightmare or an accident or something my rule is she has to get up and walk her little butt to me if she wants me that bad in the night. I never get up to go get her. My theory is eventually that will be enough of a deterrent over time and she will just get too lazy to make the effort after a while. So if she wakes in the night she comes into my bed she stays there.

    With the hypoallergenic bedding it might be a bit cost prohibitive for you to have that for your bed as well as hers? I'm not sure. But FWIW you can choose not to play the musical beds game at night if you want more sleep. Especially since you work and need your rest at night.

    I hope it gets better.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007


    I am starting to feel like age 4 is just a sucky age for sleep! So far 2 of my kids had issues at age 4 that didn't resolve until about age 5.

    DD1 used to wake at night at that age and do the same thing. I finally set up her little foam fold out couch next to my bed and told her to sleep in that if she wanted to. She used it a lot and then eventually just stopped. It was better than constantly going back to her room or me sleeping in her bed or on her floor. This way I had my own space and she wasn't in bed with me but she seemed satisfied with this arrangement.

    Could you try something like that? Have something set up in your room that she can just come to and settle back down without disturbing you too much?
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  6. #6


    Lazy mom here, and i am not a nice night time mama. I just let them either come to my bed, or made a place on the floor for them to sleep. Each of them has had some time when something was going on and they needed more reasurance at night time, whether it was an illness, or something scary they read/saw/made up, etc.

    If you dont want her in your bed, would she be happy sleeping on a blanket or sleeping bag next to your bed?

  7. #7


    would a body pillow give her the feeling of sleeping with someone? you could also try a weighted blanket as i have heard they assist with keeping kids asleep longer.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007


    I have not read replies but my DD (will be 4 in less than a month) still does this. I think now she comes to our bed about half the time. It is gradually getting less frequent. DS used to do this to. We just let them sleep with us once they come over. It seems that eventually they stop so we enjoy the snuggles until then.

  9. #9


    Thanks for the replies..

    I frankly dont mind her sleeping in my bed.. the only reason I used to prevent her from coming to my bed is because of her allergies.. I have decided to buy mattress encasings and make my room allergy proof as well.. That way I get my rest.

    Thnk god I am not alone. :-)
    Me-(35), DH(37), DD(4y1m) DS(13month)

  10. #10


    My almost 4 year old still sleeps with me so I'm not help in that department. However, my 6 year old will wake in the night (about 3x a week) and coming sprinting into my room. We have a mattress on the floor and she just jumps in that bed and goes right back to sleep.

  11. #11


    Sounds exactly like my situation at home. My daughter has been waking up every night since about the time she turned 1 years old. It seems like if she doesn't have someone next to her, she has a hard time sleeping. We have tried putting her in her room by herself but she wakes up constantly and comes and gets us. Then one of us has to lay down with her until she falls asleep. Most times I just end up sleeping in her room next to her because she will continue to sleep.

    Right now she actually has been sleeping on our small couch and either myself or DH sleeps out on the big couch. I am so ready for her to start sleeping through the night and to be able to sleep in my bed on a consistent bases. Especially with us wanting another baby soon. I can't imagine her not sleeping when we have another baby. I wish I had some tips, but I don't! Maybe sleeping through the night just comes with age?
    *Sara-28**Lee-28* 11/21/09 DX with PCOS 05/10

    **TTC since 08/01/14. 1500mg of Metformin and 2.5mg Femara**

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