Hi Ladies...

Sorry for always venting, it just feels like this is the only place I can "safely" vent.

I've been at my job since 2008. I've always been part time and for the most part that was never an issue as the pay was decent enough or I had additional income with other pt jobs. I started out as the nighttime/weekend receptionist and then in 2009 I attended the school for massage therapy. Midway thru the program my mother passed and I left my admin position but continued with the education. After I had graduated I went on to do massage therapy but they pulled me back in occasionally to fill in, train or do other administrative duties. I loved being apart of the school still. Eventually in Oct of 2011 I decided to go back home to AL for a while and I didn't renew my license but my position at the school was "saved" for me. I ended up returning after about a month and had requested a more permanent schedule. In Jan 2012 I had found out I was pregnant and I asked my director about getting more hours and moving to FT. She told me to write down what my responsibilities were and she'd look it over to see if it could be justified. I did as she requested and I never heard back from that. Then in July when I had my daughter (who was stillborn) I took 2 days off work before I returned. I again brought it up to her that I'd like to be full time. Hoping that come the start of the new year she would make me full time. Again, nothing.

Now, since the end of 2013, the campus director, dir. of education and the program manager for massage have all encouraged me to get my license back so that I can get into the classroom. In Feb., I made the efforts to do that and now my license is displayed with the other instructors. I've even shadowed other instructors and covered the clinic in their absence. I'm also on the schedule over the next month to cover more Saturdays. Tho when I had asked about working this Saturday and her response was that she needed to check my hours bc the last two weeks I was over 30. (I had 31 and 32 hours).

In the last 3 weeks we have had two full time employees leave (one on the admin side and one on the massage side). I've just learned today that the dir. of education offered someone "the massage position". I've seen the schedule and she's already on it and set to be working next month. So.... what has been the point of me getting my license and training if they have had intentions to hire someone else? From a financial and managerial stand point, I don't understand this either... Why hire an additional full time person with X amount of pay and benefits and still have your part time staff at x-$2 pay? When you could just have the part time person become full time for an additional 2 dollars/hr and you get three positions out of them?

Mind you, I've never been written up, talked to or otherwise disciplined. Over all faculty and staff, everyone I work with praises and appreciates me. I have never refused to help nor refused to cover any shift. I am not understanding why I would be passed up for this position. Every time that my director and I are supposed to sit and talk about the transition of things around here, she cancels or is too busy. OH! and with the admin person having left, her responsibilities have shifted to another employee and his duties are being divided being me and the current night time receptionist. Though, she still hasn't talked to me about what additional responsibilities I'll be picking up. I've just taken initiative and picked up what I could do. She's also informed me that in June she'll be hiring a part time admin person to help with filing, data entry and additional flexibility with covering the front desk... that is my exact position at the moment and she's planning on hiring this person 2-3 weeks before I am due. How am I not to feel that she is looking for a replacement?? The last staff member we had go on maternity leave didn't have a job when the leave was up. I have repeatedly let her know that I won't be taking a long leave. I'm estimating 4 weeks. I know that doesn't sound like a lot of time but my husband and I's schedules compliment each others regarding child care and I don't believe I will need more than that amount of time for healing. Like I said, after I had my daughter I took less than a weekend and that was while grieving! I live less than 2 miles from work so if something were to come up I'm not far.

Further more, I am able to write all this out just fine. I have no problems with confronting her professionally and finding out what to expect (if she ever finds the time) but with being pregnant, my default emotion right now is crying. I am not sure how I can have the conversation without turning into a whimpering mess. I'm very upset. I feel a total lack of job security despite what everyone else tells me. I'm constantly told how I can't be replaced and how much they value and appreciate me but that doesn't even matter to me with this new information.

I don't know what to do at this point. The two people that I would need to speak to are out of the office til Friday. but like I said, even if I get the opportunity to speak with them like I would want to, I know that I'm just going to tear up at some point and although, yes, I'm pregnant, I don't feel professional having a meeting while crying. I feel like I wouldn't be taken seriously.

Any advice?