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Thread: Kids with 2 personalities?

  1. #1
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    Default Kids with 2 personalities?

    I seriously think my 5 yo has a split personality. She can be 2 completely different people and I really never know which one I am going to be facing from day to day.

    For the most part she is a sweet, caring, fun-loving, helpful kid. Luckily that is the more dominant personality. But she has another side. A side no one but DH and I see and it's for lack of a better word, horrifying. She can be downright nasty, bull-headed, defiant, angry, bratty,.....you get what I mean. It's very hard to deal with her when she is in that mindset. She doesn't listen and will set her mind on something she wants and just keep at it until she gets it. She can be reprimanded and punished from here until Tuesday and it doesn't make a difference.

    Anyone else have a kid like this??? Is this normal?! She generally respects us and responds well to rules but when she gets in this "way" it's like she is another person
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  2. #2

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    when ds is sleep deprived he will act out like you describe your dd. i would keep a sleep journal and a food diary to see if there is something that is connected to the negative personality.



  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by froggie83 View Post
    when ds is sleep deprived he will act out like you describe your dd. i would keep a sleep journal and a food diary to see if there is something that is connected to the negative personality.
    Ironically a LOT of this behavior comes out at bedtime. Bedtime has become a HUGE HUGE HUGE point of contention here and DH and I are at a total loss on what to do. Last night was a major battle. She insists she isn't tired and can't sleep. Our stance is 'ok well just read in your bed or something' but she wont and keeps coming out or disrupting her sister (bunk beds). Last night this went on until almost 10pm. I was SO over it. We took away some of her screen time today and her treat from her treat bag she was getting from school today. The only thing that finally worked was that we had to threaten to actually throw her treat bag in garbage which is really not my style but we were desperate. She was in a zone and was just not listening to anything at all and was in danger of waking the entire house up!

    I can't imagine she isn't tired when she is saying she isn't. It's been going on for months and I though that maybe she was not getting enough exercise, fresh air and sunshine over the winter and that was the cause. Yesterday she was riding her bike for a LONG time, outside in the sun. She got a very nice amount of exercise and sun. I even remember thinking, "yay maybe bedtime wont be so awful tonight"! And then it turns out to be the worst night in a while.

    So yeah I would agree that she isn't getting enough sleep but I can't get her to sleep more! I would LOVE IT if she would it would probably solve all of our problems!
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

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    I can sympathize with the sleep woes. Recently, Mira's schedule changed, and now on Thursdays, she has ballet, and Tae Kwon Do. I figured, she'll be exhausted after this, she'll go to bed quickly. Right? WRONG! There she is, bouncing around in bed, singing, twirling her stuffed animals, trying out new hair styles, you name it, she does it, and it is well past her already late bedtime (normally, 10:00 PM). The only reason she stays in bed is because I'm in there with her. It's not a fight I'm going to win, so I just leave her be, and she falls asleep, eventually (as in, 10:45, and has to be up by 7:30 at the latest, and then she spends the whole morning complaining that she's tired).

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    It does sound like she might be overtired. Are you able to get her to bed earlier? It may be tough since her sister would be up later and it would be obvious since they share a room. This will have to be what happens in our house when Ali starts kdg next year bc otherwise she will be soooooo fired. But I don't know how it will work since my girls also bunk together. Sorry, I digress...

    ~ Cassie, mama to Madison (8), Ali (4) & Wesley (new dude!)


  6. #6
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    If DD2 gets so much as 15 minutes less than get required 11.5 hours of sleep that is how she is. A completely different child. It also comes out when she's fighting a cold or ear infection or any other physical illness. I think some kids are just much more prone to disruptions in their mind and body schedules.Tapir has said on here many times that it's amazing how much sleep plays into so many physical, emotional and behavioral symptoms and changes. Maybe she's extra sensitive like that? We haven't found a way around it for Scharae. We even have her going to bed an hour or more earlier than her sister to help keep her on a rhythm that she does best on.

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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I can sympathize with the sleep woes. Recently, Mira's schedule changed, and now on Thursdays, she has ballet, and Tae Kwon Do. I figured, she'll be exhausted after this, she'll go to bed quickly. Right? WRONG! There she is, bouncing around in bed, singing, twirling her stuffed animals, trying out new hair styles, you name it, she does it, and it is well past her already late bedtime (normally, 10:00 PM). The only reason she stays in bed is because I'm in there with her. It's not a fight I'm going to win, so I just leave her be, and she falls asleep, eventually (as in, 10:45, and has to be up by 7:30 at the latest, and then she spends the whole morning complaining that she's tired).
    Yeah it's like the more tired she SHOULD be the more wild she is. It's really exhausting at a time when my patience is slim to none.

    Quote Originally Posted by jazzmom View Post
    It does sound like she might be overtired. Are you able to get her to bed earlier? It may be tough since her sister would be up later and it would be obvious since they share a room. This will have to be what happens in our house when Ali starts kdg next year bc otherwise she will be soooooo fired. But I don't know how it will work since my girls also bunk together. Sorry, I digress...
    We do try to do early but it just drags it out longer. She does have a different bedtime than her sister and it used to work out fine. She was quick to fall asleep and DD1 was fine to sneak up to her bed quietly. Now she doesn't like knowing she goes to bed first and will wait up. If we try to have them go to sleep at the same time they fool around. Well, not all the time. There have been times they talk for a bit and then go to sleep but it doesn't happen enough to make it into something I can trust them to do.
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by DucksLikeRain View Post
    If DD2 gets so much as 15 minutes less than get required 11.5 hours of sleep that is how she is. A completely different child. It also comes out when she's fighting a cold or ear infection or any other physical illness. I think some kids are just much more prone to disruptions in their mind and body schedules.Tapir has said on here many times that it's amazing how much sleep plays into so many physical, emotional and behavioral symptoms and changes. Maybe she's extra sensitive like that? We haven't found a way around it for Scharae. We even have her going to bed an hour or more earlier than her sister to help keep her on a rhythm that she does best on.
    I don't doubt it but what to do when I can't get her to get the sleep she needs?! It's a vicious cycle!

    We have used melatonin in the past but she got kind of "hooked" on it like she couldn't sleep w/o it and had to be very slowly weaned from it. She was weaned and it was nice to not have to rely on that anymore. I am not sure I want to go back to it. It caused her nightwakings and to wet the bed at times.
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  9. #9
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    We rely on it with pediatrician support. She cannot wind down without it. I leave it up to her on if she takes it or not. Some nights she won't but will get up fifteen minutes into bed and come get it. She's a little older (7) and is able to feel the difference she has in getting to sleep with and without it and can tell she definitely will need it some nights. She has a very specific tolerance level and has very realistic dreams that aren't nightmares but are just "more real than my dreams are supposed to be" if she takes more than what she needs. We have night wettings also BUT they are worse when she's not getting the sleep she gets with melatonin. For us, it's more benefit than not. And if she has to use it for years, with the only side effect being that she has a harder time when it's not available, we will take it-that's how bad she (and we!) struggle when her sleep isn't happening. But I know there are varying thoughts on melatonin so I understand not being comfortable with it. For us it is a saving grace because, as you said, it becomes a vicious cycle otherwise!

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  10. #10

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    Have you had any help with a pediatrician? I also wonder if its worth her having the Melatonin? I am not sure if there are long term effects so I can't vouch for that.
    She might be able to see a therapist to find out the root of her anger. I do think its possible for a child to have personality issues. I think maybe a behavior journal might be able to help when her personality changes and when you notice it. Write down the specifics of what she says/ does.
    *** Lindsay ***



  11. #11

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    http://www.amazon.com/Sleepless-Amer...ess+in+america


    someone on here (tapier?) recommended this book to me to help me fix my sons sleep deprivation issues... it helped me figure out some things that were making it difficult for ds to sleep good.



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