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Thread: Is that OK? WWYD?

  1. #1

    Default Is that OK? WWYD?

    I am not doing a big birthday for the kids this year, just 1 or 2 friends with their families. DS1's birthday party will be on Sunday 4/13 at a local park. It will be our family and 2 other families - total of 7 kids and 6 adults. One of these adults is my good friend who has a lot of dietary restrictions: no gluten, no cheese, no meat to name the big ones. One of the kids (her first son) is GF. The rest of the attendees has no dietary restrictions. So I was thinking to bring fruit and veggies with dip (she could eat all of it), regular pizza for all, GF pizza from TJ for her son, which has to be cooked at home and served cold, regular cake and GF cupcakes.

    There are several restaurants with GF party platters but those cost quite a bit and completely defeat the reason of why I am not throwing a big party (I do not want to spend a fortune on a birthday). My DH thinks she will get offended that her diet is not accommodated and we did not buy from her favorite place. The platter from there is $90 and that's in addition to drinks, fruit, veggies. I am thinking that I can accommodate only that much, if there is plenty of fruit and veggies she can wait till she comes home or she can pack something for herself. The pizza I am planning to serve will cost us $30 vs the $90 from the place. Plus my kids are not huge fans of Mexican food (which is what she likes) so I have to totally cater to their family and I just do not want to spend that kind of money. I would totally get the GF pizza for her son but it has cheese on it so my friend won't eat it. Am I wrong? WWYD?

    And for the record, she can technically eat meat and cheese but she feels like meat is horrible and cheese is too fattening. If she were allergic to any ingredients like peanuts, that would be a different story.
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  2. #2

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    I think what you are planning is fine. You will have stuff her and her son can have so it's not like she won't be able to eat anything. To cater the whole party to her preferences seems way over the top to me. I would never expect someone to do that for me... I don't eat meat, or cheese (just don't like them) and even if it was a good friends child's birthday party I would feel that it would be very odd of they catered the whole party around what I eat.



  3. #3

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    I think what you are doing is plenty. It is your kids' party so you need to serve things for them that make them happy. Our family is lucky that we don't really have any dietary restrictions, but DD is so ridiculously picky I never know if she will eat anything when we go places. I find things for her to eat or bring stuff to make sure she eats. It sounds to me like you are making enough accommodations.


    Anne (37) DH (37) Olivia (4) Harrison (1)

  4. #4

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    To be blunt because some of her restriction are by choice she can bring her own food. I can respect purchasing a GF pizza because of her son and others can eat it too if they desire but, if she is making a choice to not eat meat or cheese and she does not have an allergy to it I would not cater any further than the gluten free pizza and correct me if I am but aren't all veggies are naturally gluten free could you purchase a tray from Wal-Mart with veggies? Unless I am missing something but, I would not spend $90 for anyone when it comes to that no way! My cousin has a dairy allergy and she was beyond thrilled that I make a cake for her it did not cost me more than a few dollars but, hers was an easy accommodation. If someone has a list of allergies it would be very difficult to accommodate everything. If she is offended because you can't spend tons of money she can get over it. Its your party for your kid its not about her.
    *** Lindsay ***



  5. #5
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    If she were offended by the effort you plan to go to in order to be sure her child has something to eat a CHILD's birthday party...then I would guess she would find something else to be offended about no matter what you did.

    You're planning on there being at least one thing she can eat plenty of-fruit/veggies/dip. And that plus 2 more things her diet-restricted son can eat (the pizza and GF cupcakes). That's more than many people would do in order to accommodate one or two people. The idea of a $90 platter being purchased simply to please one person, regardless of if others could/would eat it, especially if that person is an adult who could choose to eat other things (not a needed restriction but rather a preference) and who also could handle being a little bit hungry for a few hours...I just can't even imagine spending that. In fact, if I knew it was spent on me or my child (who DOES have diet restrictions) I would feel awful!

    These days it's certainly thoughtful when people know about and take into consideration guests' diets. But I think those of us who eat alternatively for whatever reason, or have kids who do, also plan on being responsible for that ourselves either by asking what will be there and saying we'll be sure there's something we/our kids can eat or by just having something in the car in case. If I were throwing the party I would probably be sure to give her a heads up by saying "this is my plan, I know you can eat this, son can eat these, just thought I'd let you know so you're prepared" or something along those lines.

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  6. #6

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    I think your accommodations are very generous! If she gets insulted by that, it is certainly not your fault.




  7. #7
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    I think what you are doing is fine. I also have a friend who has big dietary restrictions (as does her son) but due to actual allergies. What I have always done is make one or two things that they can eat and I let her know that those things will be there but the rest of the food items are a no go. It has always worked out fine. I have never had to make/buy expensive things either to provide those options.
    Jessica (33) and Ryan (33). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    My blog about MCAD

  8. #8

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    Thanks for the responses. I feel much better
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    14,907

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    Quote Originally Posted by tanyachap View Post
    I am not doing a big birthday for the kids this year, just 1 or 2 friends with their families. DS1's birthday party will be on Sunday 4/13 at a local park. It will be our family and 2 other families - total of 7 kids and 6 adults. One of these adults is my good friend who has a lot of dietary restrictions: no gluten, no cheese, no meat to name the big ones. One of the kids (her first son) is GF. The rest of the attendees has no dietary restrictions. So I was thinking to bring fruit and veggies with dip (she could eat all of it), regular pizza for all, GF pizza from TJ for her son, which has to be cooked at home and served cold, regular cake and GF cupcakes.

    There are several restaurants with GF party platters but those cost quite a bit and completely defeat the reason of why I am not throwing a big party (I do not want to spend a fortune on a birthday). My DH thinks she will get offended that her diet is not accommodated and we did not buy from her favorite place. The platter from there is $90 and that's in addition to drinks, fruit, veggies. I am thinking that I can accommodate only that much, if there is plenty of fruit and veggies she can wait till she comes home or she can pack something for herself. The pizza I am planning to serve will cost us $30 vs the $90 from the place. Plus my kids are not huge fans of Mexican food (which is what she likes) so I have to totally cater to their family and I just do not want to spend that kind of money. I would totally get the GF pizza for her son but it has cheese on it so my friend won't eat it. Am I wrong? WWYD?

    And for the record, she can technically eat meat and cheese but she feels like meat is horrible and cheese is too fattening. If she were allergic to any ingredients like peanuts, that would be a different story.
    If this is the case then she is probably not someone you'd want to hang around much! I think what you are planning is great and if she has an issue with it I would think it's her problem. She can't expect that many accommodations and if she has that many dietary restrictions she needs to travel with her own food.
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  10. #10

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    I also think that your idea is just fine. I think you should accommodate the child as much as you can like you are doing, especially with such a small group. I have some voluntary restrictions for myself, and I would never expect anyone to cater to me. I have gone to many children birthday parties (or even adult parties) where I only eat fruits or veggies (or nothing at all). If I know I will be there for a while, I will either bring something with me if it is appropriate to do so (like at a park), eat before, or plan to eat after. I was only offended one time. I was visiting my hometown, and an aunt invited me to her house for dinner. She knows my restrictions, and she only served me corn.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by LaurainFL View Post
    I think your accommodations are very generous! If she gets insulted by that, it is certainly not your fault.
    This! I have never been to a birthday party where accommodations were made for even the kids' diet choices. Mostly, parents are responsible for making sure kids have safe things to eat.

  12. #12

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    You are being very considerate - I would not do anything other than what you've planned. A reasonable person wouldn't expect more - I am sure she will be fine.

  13. #13

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    I agree you are being more than considerate. My husband has multiple (real) food allergies and he brings his own food. He never expects anyone to cater to him at all.

  14. #14

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    If it were a party for her, you'd get something she loves, but it's for the kids, and you're very nice to offer the adults anything. Usually the adults at kids parties I've been to are very grateful for whatever they're offered.

  15. #15
    Join Date
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    I agree with everyone else....sounds totally fine! And super reasonable.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  16. #16

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    Thanks for the responses. It is settled then. I will buy what I was planning to

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