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Thread: She appealed :-(

  1. #1
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    Default She appealed :-(

    Got the call today the bio mom appealed. I was expected this but I am so upset and so furious! I didn't get to explain court much when I posted last time because I was so brain dead. I got an hour of sleep last night but I seem to be functioning slightly better now so I'll try to explain it.

    It was a good five hours long. There were quite a few doctors who testified. They all said they couldn't even begin to discuss the possibility of bio mom taking care of a child because right now the question was whether or not she could even take care of herself. She's been hospitalized so much with zero improvement. In fact, she's gone downhill big time. They basically said there were no other meds to try and no other combinations to try. She's never been free of her delusions so it's not looking good that she ever will be. Her lawyer's idea was to give her another 12 months to try to stabilize on meds before making a decision. I about fell over when I heard that. I mean...I know it's his job to defend her but that was just so ridiculous I couldn't stand it. Bio mom also took the stand because she wanted to tell her version of the "truth". She was bad into her delusions even while hospitalized and medicated. She talked all about these men that lived on her roof and violated her and made her wear the clothes of other violated women. She says they take women's kids and replace them with others which is what they've done with baby girl. She called baby girl the wrong name...seriously couldn't even remember her name for part of it. Apparently she was even asked at some point in the recent past if she wanted to consider visits again and she said no because she didn't see the point in visiting someone else's child. She's still that convinced that baby girl isn't hers. It just got worse and worse but clearly she has no clue what's going on. I was sad when DH told me about it but now, knowing about the appeal, I can't even have sympathy. I'm just plain mad.

    So now we get to wait another 2-3 months mostly likely for another court date in circuit court. They'll redo the hearing just like it was done last week and probably keep the same finding. I can't imagine them changing it and her winning the appeal with all of the evidence against her but I'm terrified anyway. I've heard horror stories of people winning on technicalities and the child going back to them that day. Baby girl hasn't seen her mother in a year and a half which is pretty much her whole life. Her mother doesn't even recognize her. I can't imagine how terrifying it would be for her to have to see her at all much less be given back to her. I don't know if I'm freaking because I'm postpartum or what but I'm definitely freaking out tonight. We'll be lucky if she's adopted before she's two at this rate. Though I'll take it as long as she stays. I'll do anything to make sure she stays where she's safe and happy. She just got glasses and I keep looking at her little vulnerable face with those glasses and I keep picturing her terrified of her bio mom if things don't go our way and it just breaks my heart. The next few months cannot go by fast enough when it comes to this whole situation. I just want the legal rights to her so that we know for a fact she's safe and no one can ever jeopardize her safety again.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  2. #2
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    This is the first I have read about your ongoing adoption story, but I couldn't read this and not respond. I am so sorry you are going through this! What a nightmare! I can't fathom a judge in his right mind giving baby girl back to someone so obviously unstable. Hoping and praying that this is over and finalized QUICKLY so she stays safe in your arms and home legally and permanently.

  3. #3
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    I'm so sorry Leah! But I'm also so sure this is just a hiccup along the road to baby S' adoption. Polly is right, no judge is going to allow her to be placed back into such a dangerous situation. I know biological mom's lawyer is just doing his job, but what a shame when it is so painfully obvious to everyone that bio mom is just too far gone at this point to ever care for a child.

  4. #4
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    Oh no! I felt so good that things were moving in a permanent direction after your last update. This is just so sad for everyone. I know that it's not a criminal case but if she's not mentally competent I'm surprised they can even keep this up. I just hope that this is the last hurdle before the change to adoption.


  5. #5
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    I'm so sorry to read this Leah it is clear that you and your family are the best place for her. Hoping that everything works out the way it should!

    Me - Jess DH - Matt
    September 2013

  6. #6
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    I would worry too, but I think you have nothing to worry about in regards to your sweetie's permanency plan . It's such a frustrating bump in the road for sure, but I don't think it will change the outcome...just the timing .

    The waiting though, ugh ugh ugh ...that just has to be the worst !!!

    Thinking of you in all of this and praying it won't be long at all that you'll be looking back on all of this as a forever family !!!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  7. #7
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    Prayers sent your way. God will protect this little angel and keep her safe from harm in your family's hands. Ita with the other ladies.. no judge in his right mind will take her away from the home that she only knows.



  8. #8

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    How frustrating, Leah! I'm a sure that you are more stressed than normal because you're dealing with this AND post partum hormones, but that doesn't negate what you are feeling. I certainly wouldn't feel very good about it, either.

    BUT, that said, I'm a CERTAIN that it is just a bump in the road and that once everything is said and done she will be yours forever.
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  9. #9

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    Her appeal doesn't have a snowballs chance. My niece is in close to the same boat, her bio dad just had his rights terminated, he is not mentally unstable in the way of your little girls bio mom...but he is a serious addict. He is also going to appeal, but all the lawyers, DHS and AAG told my brother and SIL that they can say with 99.9% certainty that it will not be over turned. Here the appeal process does not involve another court case, thank goodness I don't have another week of court in me...and I know my bro and SIL don't either. They just turn all the transcripts of the trial over to the appellate court, they read it, make sure the judge followed the law and if so they will uphold her finding. HUGS I hope everything goes through fine, I can not begin to think that any court would give a baby back to someone so delusional.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  10. #10
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    Thank you all so much! I inquired about it a bit and feel a little better. I was under the impression that, if bio mom won, baby girl would leave us immediately without so much as a transition and go home with this woman and that's the scariest thing I could ever imagine. However, I was wrong, if she wins it just means that our usual judge has to redo the hearing to make sure her original ruling was the right one. So it doesn't mean she'd leave and it doesn't mean her mom would get her back and it doesn't mean the case would start over. I guess when they appeal it just gets sent to a new judge at a new court to get fresh eyes on it and if they don't agree with the ruling they get a retrial. Most of the time they agree with the ruling though and I can't see that they wouldn't after seeing her testimony which was just plain scary. So I think we'll be okay. I'm sure the next two or three months will fly by. In a way I want it to hurry up so this can be over but I want it to slow down for my newborn. He's already cooing and rolling over at three weeks. Why must time mess with me in this way? Lol. Anyway, I feel better now. I think it's mostly a matter of more time to wait.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  11. #11
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    I'm so glad you got some clarification. Time does fly when you have a newborn in the house, that's for sure! My son was rolling over at a few weeks old too--and then he stopped and he's 8 months old now and won't do it anymore! Lol go figure.

  12. #12
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    The clarification makes a lot of sense and I hope that there's no more surprises!

  13. #13

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