Got the call today the bio mom appealed. I was expected this but I am so upset and so furious! I didn't get to explain court much when I posted last time because I was so brain dead. I got an hour of sleep last night but I seem to be functioning slightly better now so I'll try to explain it.

It was a good five hours long. There were quite a few doctors who testified. They all said they couldn't even begin to discuss the possibility of bio mom taking care of a child because right now the question was whether or not she could even take care of herself. She's been hospitalized so much with zero improvement. In fact, she's gone downhill big time. They basically said there were no other meds to try and no other combinations to try. She's never been free of her delusions so it's not looking good that she ever will be. Her lawyer's idea was to give her another 12 months to try to stabilize on meds before making a decision. I about fell over when I heard that. I mean...I know it's his job to defend her but that was just so ridiculous I couldn't stand it. Bio mom also took the stand because she wanted to tell her version of the "truth". She was bad into her delusions even while hospitalized and medicated. She talked all about these men that lived on her roof and violated her and made her wear the clothes of other violated women. She says they take women's kids and replace them with others which is what they've done with baby girl. She called baby girl the wrong name...seriously couldn't even remember her name for part of it. Apparently she was even asked at some point in the recent past if she wanted to consider visits again and she said no because she didn't see the point in visiting someone else's child. She's still that convinced that baby girl isn't hers. It just got worse and worse but clearly she has no clue what's going on. I was sad when DH told me about it but now, knowing about the appeal, I can't even have sympathy. I'm just plain mad.

So now we get to wait another 2-3 months mostly likely for another court date in circuit court. They'll redo the hearing just like it was done last week and probably keep the same finding. I can't imagine them changing it and her winning the appeal with all of the evidence against her but I'm terrified anyway. I've heard horror stories of people winning on technicalities and the child going back to them that day. Baby girl hasn't seen her mother in a year and a half which is pretty much her whole life. Her mother doesn't even recognize her. I can't imagine how terrifying it would be for her to have to see her at all much less be given back to her. I don't know if I'm freaking because I'm postpartum or what but I'm definitely freaking out tonight. We'll be lucky if she's adopted before she's two at this rate. Though I'll take it as long as she stays. I'll do anything to make sure she stays where she's safe and happy. She just got glasses and I keep looking at her little vulnerable face with those glasses and I keep picturing her terrified of her bio mom if things don't go our way and it just breaks my heart. The next few months cannot go by fast enough when it comes to this whole situation. I just want the legal rights to her so that we know for a fact she's safe and no one can ever jeopardize her safety again.