I am having a bad day when it comes to breastfeeding and need some support, I knew you ladies were the best for that. Sean had his one month appointment today and he weighs 8lbs 6oz, but 3wks ago he weighed 8lb 1oz. I am deflated a bit, there is so much pressure on me about EBF, mostly put on myself by me. :/ I am worried he isn't gaining enough weight. He seems hungry a lot and honestly it hurts when someone says he looks hungry, makes me feel like I am not enough for him. It just hurts, like maybe I am failing at this and almost like I am being selfish for wanting to EBF if it's starting to hold him back. I feed him on demand and he eats every 2-3hrs during the day and 3-4hrs at night. He has grown an inch taller and his head is an inch bigger and his belly looks great. The doctor didn't seem concerned at all and just loves Sean and spends extra time just talking and holding him. He said if there were other signs of maybe him being malnourished then he would be worried but he said he was a beautiful boy. He did say that if my calorie intake is so low then the milk quality is low and he think Sean will be petite because I am petite too. I have been sick, my digestive system has been really bad for 3wks and there were a few days I couldn't eat at all, Doc says I need to get healthy and figure out what is wrong so I can eat more again. He said I should be eating about 2300-2500 calories a day... I have been lucky to eat 1000, many days I eat 300 calories and that is Gatorade. I am feeling better but it is probably not going to show to Sean for a few more days.
I just feel so much pressure as his only food source and I am so worried that if I fail, it's harming my son. I walked out of the office almost in tears, even though the doctor swears up and down that Sean is a perfectly healthy little boy, I was just so hoping he was going to be better than that. I feel terrible and pray I am not under nourishing my beautiful son!!