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Thread: Need a good comeback

  1. #31
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    I do think offensive comments should be addressed whether that is the intent or not. Just because someone is not meaning to offend by what they are saying doesn't mean it isn't damaging or hurtful. Like people who say awful things to parents who have lost children. They never mean to hurt the person - it's quite the opposite but really some of the comments I have heard people report are downright cruel! I think pointing it out in whatever way you choose at least lets the person realize it's not a nice comment and maybe they will not say it to others. I just don't always feel like being the person to point it out in this case. The comments I listed are varying degrees of offensive some highly and some not at all....

    I think the worst offenders of the gender divide and applying certain stereotypes to girls and boys are people who have one of each. From my observation, they tend to see them as girl vs boy and not 2 children with different personalities. Any differences between them tend to get applied to their gender. For me, having 3 girls, I can see how each child is VERY different and their differences get applied to their personalities not gender. If DD3 were a boy I would probably be applying a lot of her behavior to being a boy. She is wild, a major climber, very bold and physical. I am sure if she had been a boy I would just be thinking it was due to that. I hear SO many people comment about their boys being the ones who climb onto tables, couches, out of the crib, etc. And sure it may be a biological thing but having 3 of the same I can see how these traits are not gender-specific.

    And in my experience, it's been those people who make the most generalizations because their girl is one way and their boy is another so therefore all girls are that way and all boys are the other way. And since they have one of each they somehow feel qualified to make these distinctions.

    I also think it has to do with the personality of the parents. I was not a rebellious, hormonal teen and I think my brother gave my parents more trouble than I did. Whatever. The teen years will be what they are.....
    Thing 1 (7), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  2. #32

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    yes, people suck...for real
    Quote Originally Posted by macksmom View Post

    I can't imagine what people must say because it was bad enough when I only had 2. When I added #3 it got SOOOOO much worse. 4 must just be rude comment overload!



    :

    Jenny~ Mama to Katelyn(7), Ben(my angel in Heaven, 6), Megan(5), Allie(2years), Nora(8m)

  3. #33
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    May 2007
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    Right is that kind of what I was getting at with we each have our biases. Really the best any of us can do is form thoughts and opinions based on our own life experiences.
    I wasn't an awful teen girl but was rather snotty and as much of a smart mouth as I could get away with (not much my mom was strict). My sister was a total crab those few years of 13/14. Most people I know with girls have had about the same reaction. So when I hear someone talk about a girl that is that 12-15 age range, my first thought is ugh and pity.

    It's the same thing when you see a person with a 3 yr old and everyone is shuddering about the terrible three's tantrums. Doesn't mean that all 3 yr olds are having tantrums and difficult...I have known kids who have like 1-2 tantrums ever. But enough 3 yr olds exhibit the behavior that we make the generalization about the terrible 3's.

    I do wish that more people would keep thoughts to themselves. I might have pity for those with early teen girls but wouldn't ever tell them I feel sorry for them! Not when I'm really jealous of them!

    So for those you don't want to deal with with, maybe a "Well bless your heart, I love having three girls." With a smile. For family and friends you feel like it, a "dude that rude" and follow up with your why it is offensive to you would probably work best.

    Quote Originally Posted by macksmom View Post
    If DD3 were a boy I would probably be applying a lot of her behavior to being a boy. She is wild, a major climber, very bold and physical. I am sure if she had been a boy I would just be thinking it was due to that.
    And in my experience, it's been those people who make the most generalizations because their girl is one way and their boy is another so therefore all girls are that way and all boys are the other way. And since they have one of each they somehow feel qualified to make these distinctions.

    I also think it has to do with the personality of the parents. I was not a rebellious, hormonal teen and I think my brother gave my parents more trouble than I did. Whatever. The teen years will be what they are.....

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  4. #34
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    Runningmom, I think that is exactly it.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #35

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    As someone who gets all kinds of comments, even ones like "I would kill myself" "I would have had an accident down some stairs" I have learned to just let it roll off my back. Not worth my time, energy, or showing my kids that their mom is someone who can't keep her cool (because a few people I would have loved to slap.)

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)
    Trying to complete our family...My Ovulation Chart for my LAST try !

  6. #36

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    When I had 2 boys I got so many comments. Now they mostly focus on "wow your hands r full"....seriously never leave the house without that one! And they act like my life was saved by #3 being a girl. People do stink....at least their rude comments!



  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripMomma View Post
    As someone who gets all kinds of comments, even ones like "I would kill myself" "I would have had an accident down some stairs" I have learned to just let it roll off my back. Not worth my time, energy, or showing my kids that their mom is someone who can't keep her cool (because a few people I would have loved to slap.)
    Wow. Unreal.

  8. #38

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    It doesn't matter what your family looks like, I think you get stupid comments. I have two boys and a girl. When people notice that my youngest two are twins (b/g), I get all sorts of crazy comments, but the best is, "Well, at least you got your girl!" As though my girl was the consolation prize for having twins. People are silly.



  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by mla View Post
    It doesn't matter what your family looks like, I think you get stupid comments.
    This is so true. When I was TTC someone told me I was lucky I didn't have kids. Ruined my day.
    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

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