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Thread: Would you take him?

  1. #1

    Default Would you take him?

    I know ultimately we have to decide for ourselves, but would like to hear what others think.
    My youngest ds turned 3 in February. He currently weighs 23lbs.
    He eats well, still nurses couple of times a day/night, hasn't shown any reactions to foods developmentally on target,his language is beautiful! He has tons of energy and has never caught more than a minor cold. Happy, healthy, awesome kid. Just a wee one.
    Our general practitioner has referred him to a specialist (gastroenterology) for failure to thrive. Twice I have made the appt and cancelled once because icy roads and once because my older children were sick and I didn't want to drag them out. But really, my gut tells me this is such a waste of time, gas, efforts. It's an hour drive and there is a 99.9% chance he won't cooperate! cry through the whole thing and ultimately end up in the lab for blood tests (which will be a separate hour drive since our insurance only will cover labs from our primary) and him learning to fear dr's just like my older ds who went through all the same things. I don't want to blatantly go against dr orders, but it really makes no sense to me to go to this appt.
    Thoughts?

  2. #2

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    For the record, our primary already did basic blood draws and everything came back normal.

  3. #3
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    Is he proportionate for height and weight? Is he developmentally on target for everything? I would honestly not worry about it. Give yourself a certain amount of time, maybe until he is 5 or 6 or old enough to better understand, and then take him, if there is something to be concerned about.

  4. #4
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    I would probably just take him so that I could say that we checked that out but I would not be in a big hurry to do it.
    Jessica (33) and Ryan (33). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    My blog about MCAD

  5. #5

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    I agree with Suja. I think he is fine, but then again, I know you and how in tune you are with your kids' health, eating habits, etc. How tall is he? How big were you and your dbf as children? And your older ds also was small for his age?
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  6. #6

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    Is he maintaining a curve on the charts that is just lower altogether than the average? My younger DS is a little peanut and has been below average in height and weight, but is still showing a growth curve, so we aren't concerned. Now that said, I probably would follow through with the specialist at some point, but when it works in your schedule since he seems to be fine.
    ~Andrea~


  7. #7

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    My youngest is a little peanut too. He has always been 5-25% for weight and 25-50 for height. He even plateau for a while in weight. My guy is very active and eats well. He's 29 lbs and will be 3 in may. So far there hadn't been any issue from his pedi on that. As long as he isn't loosing weight and he is still showing a progress on a curve even if its on the lower end. But my peanut can still fit 24 month clothing...at almost 3.., he is in some 3t stuff too but she me 24 month pants still fit.

  8. #8

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    i probably wouldnt, but then my children are the smallest kids i've ever known My 9.5yr (5th child) old weighs 48lbs and is 52in tall. she was 20ish lbs at 3. She wasnt even on the growth charts at all from 2yrs until 7yrs, now she's at the 1st percentile.

    I did let them do hand/wrist xrays on my 2nd and 3rd children to make sure their bone growth was ok. We also did some testing with #2 when he was a baby. But eventually it was just agreed that "it's famillial".

    My youngest has been one of my biggest, and ironically she was the one with a heart defect she's gained 5lbs in the last 4m since her surgery to repair it, making her 27lbs. #5 might not have weighed that much at 4!

  9. #9

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    Normally, I would say go and check it out but under the circumstances you describe, I would give him 2 more years and then re-evaluate. Honestly, I think the current charts are off; kids nowadays eat too much and most of what they eat is antibiotic & preservative loaded things; kids tend to be bigger and heavier than the kids were years ago, not necessarily healthier, just heavier. If the first round of blood work came fine I would not worry about it but that's me and I am a vigilant mom who believes that "when there is smoke there is fire". It's just that being small but healthy does not "qualify" as "smoke" in my book.

    I also know that you will be keeping a close eye on him. So if there are any red flags, then I would take him in. And at any rate, even if you decide to go to a specialist now, I would wait till it is warm and nice outside.
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  10. #10

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    I would go only for one reason so the doctors don't think you are being neglectful. I am NOT saying you are by any means I know that you are a great mom I just
    am the paranoid type that worries about things like. Sophia is little as well and has always been in the 0-5% for weight and height but, we've never had the
    failure to thrive on our chart nor been told that. Our doctor thinks she is just going to be a small person. I would still go just to be sure but I am a worry wort.
    *** Lindsay ***



  11. #11
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    I would probably go just to be sure nothing is missed but I would re-schedule when I could do it in nice weather. It does not sound like your mommy instincts are telling you something is wrong so I would not be in a huge rush. Like Tanya mentioned, I am not sure how accurate the growth charts are.

  12. #12

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    i am with lindsay. i would go just so i didn't appear to someone as a neglectful mom.

    when my son turned 1 my dr told me to google "toddler fat diet" and get his weight up. he is going to be 4 this summer and is about 35 lbs. when he turned 3 he was about 25 lbs.
    a am another one that thinks the growth charts are off. both my kids look normal, are usually healthy (ds was 3.5 yrs old when he got his first antibiotic which made 2 drs and an intern raise their eyebrows) both of my kids are "small" for their age... the nurse at the drs office said that it was good because she was tired of seeing overweight children with health problems and enjoys it when families like mine come in for well checks and thats it.



  13. #13

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    I think because he mentioned it a second time, I might be inclined to take him when it is more convenient. I do think that to a certain extent, doctors nowadays will refer patients to specialists if there is even the slightest chance of them missing something. There are way too many people out there who are very quick to bring lawsuits so they need to cover themselves. We had this happen with DD and her neck when she was little. We were referred to a PT and went twice. After the second appt, it seemed very clear to me that she really didn't need it. When we returned to our pedi and I told him this, he agreed with me, even though he had been the one to refer us. But I think he just wanted us to make sure everything was okay and that we didn't miss anything - and also so it wouldn't come back to him if there had been something wrong.


    Anne (37) DH (37) Olivia (4) Harrison (1)

  14. #14

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    Thanks everyone. I am going to wait. He has gained 2lbs in the past 2 months and is getting taller as well.
    My 6 yo ds is small for his age too. He weighs 42lbs. I was teeny tiny as a child too.

  15. #15

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    I would go because I would worry (that's just me..a worrier) that something could be wrong, and I would want to rule everything out so I could stop worrying. But, it doesn't sound like you are worried

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Thanks everyone. I am going to wait. He has gained 2lbs in the past 2 months and is getting taller as well.
    My 6 yo ds is small for his age too. He weighs 42lbs. I was teeny tiny as a child too.
    My ds just had his 4th annual appt today... He is 27 lbs at 4 yrs of age. While we have done bloodwork and seen a GI dr when he was really young, we decided to repeat his bloodwork again soon and I might have him see an endocrinologist. Only bc I tend to over worry and I feel like I have to do something! He is otherwise doing really well and this is probably an over kill

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by i.<3.cheesysmiles View Post
    I would go because I would worry (that's just me..a worrier) that something could be wrong, and I would want to rule everything out so I could stop worrying. But, it doesn't sound like you are worried
    I think I would fall under this category as well. I worry about EVERYTHING! I would just put some effort into putting more weight on him and put it off until a warmer, more convenient time. Well, I would go back to the doc after he grew a bit and if he still recommended it then I would probably go just to quiet that voice in my head and to make sure everything had been checked even if I felt everything was ok. I am just too paranoid about everything!

    Considering your other DS had similar issues I would say you are probably fine to trust your instinct and wait a bit.
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  18. #18
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    My pedi isn't worried at all about my almost 7yr old who is 39lbs (she was 23lbs on her 4th bday). Most of my kiddos were 25-30lbs when they were 3yrs and have always been healthy .

    We put our 5th child through all sorts of tests when she was 2yrs because she was only 17lbs, but nothing came of it and I regret putting her through it . She's still only 56lbs at almost 11yrs old.

    I think if there is nothing overtly wrong (pain/discomfort, diarrhea, constipation, food intolerances, loss of appetite, weight loss, fatigue, irritability, developmental delays, etc...) then I wouldn't worry about it, especially in the presence of a normal cbc.

    You can always change your mind later if something comes up for sure. thinking of you...I know these choices aren't easy!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  19. #19

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    If he has no GI issues, is totally fine, and has been tested for celiac, I wouldn't take my kid. Personally.

  20. #20

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    One of my almost 3 year old twins is about 24 pounds. She has always been small. Out pedi has never been concerned with her weight. She has been consistently on the same curve. Her twin sister is about 5 pounds heavier. I try not to worry about it. We have never even done bloodwork. I am curious to see what our pedi says at their three year physical.

  21. #21

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    I would go, but I am an answers person.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  22. #22

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    I would go, when it's more convenient for you, just to make sure nothing has been missed. FWIW, my youngest and oldest both saw GI docs and the most invasive testing they had was a swallow study. They were very conservative. I know all Docs are different, though, and my kids both had issues with actually eating...aversions, reflux, stomach emptying. I'm not sure if your little guy is having similar issues or something completely different.

    In the meantime, which I'm sure you're already doing this, I would try adding butter, cream, greek yogurt, to his food to bulk up the calories a bit.

    Also, what was found with your older DS? Is he more proportionate for his height/weight now that he is older?




  23. #23

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    My older ds is still small for his age but growing normally and nothing was ever found. He was put through some awful blood draws. I am talking 3 different visits where a nurse dug around for a vein, until they'd finally give up and I'd have to drag him kicking and screaming in to try again a few weeks later. It was seriously traumatizing and since my dd was along for those visits, both of them have major anxiety about the dr.
    I do serve only whole, full fat foods to my whole family and cook with avacado oil, butter, and pig lard from a local farm. He eats well, poops regularly, never has any health issues are anything that would point to digestion issues.
    Of course if something is wrong, I want answers. I am just really not a fan unnecessary medical intervention.

  24. #24

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    Honestly, we had all the testing done when Erin was so little because the doctors feared she might have cystic fibrosis. Turned out part of it was because of a medication they had her on to strengthen her lungs, part of it was because for her, it took so much energy just for her to breathe because part of her diaphragm was paralyzed that she burned up all the calories she took in just to breathe, part of it was simply because she was so premature, and part of it was just genetics -- I was very small as a child, too. Laura ended up being quite small as well and since she had no other issues, they just chalked it up to genetics and never really worried about her. If your older DS was also small and had no other health issues, and your younger DS also seems to have no health issues, I don't think I would put him through it.
    Lynne, Grandma to three beautiful girls and one handsome little man!


  25. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    My older ds is still small for his age but growing normally and nothing was ever found. He was put through some awful blood draws. I am talking 3 different visits where a nurse dug around for a vein, until they'd finally give up and I'd have to drag him kicking and screaming in to try again a few weeks later. It was seriously traumatizing and since my dd was along for those visits, both of them have major anxiety about the dr.
    I do serve only whole, full fat foods to my whole family and cook with avacado oil, butter, and pig lard from a local farm. He eats well, poops regularly, never has any health issues are anything that would point to digestion issues.
    Of course if something is wrong, I want answers. I am just really not a fan unnecessary medical intervention.
    With all that you serve he sounds like a great eater I don't understand why they haven't chalked it up to him being small stature if all else is well. KWIM? Until APA I never knew there was such a thing as failure to thrive. Anyways with this in mind I can totally understand not taking him. I do wonder if a 2nd opinion would be helpful though too. Sophia is tiny and always had been tiny but, the doctor has confirmed that she is healthy she is going to be small.
    *** Lindsay ***



  26. #26

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    I would definitely give it a bit, then. If he seems otherwise healthy and is not having any digestive issues (sounds like everything is passing okay), I would chalk it up to him just being small in stature.




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