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Thread: Dorcas / khadijavye Updates :)

  1. #211
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    Thank you Natalie and Dorcas !

    I thought it was fine (my fbs the next day was actually 88 which is good for me), but thought I'd ask . I don't want to test obsessively, lol, too expensive and my fingers aren't thrilled about it ...my heart sure goes out to you having to do it everyday !
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






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    Yeah, 88 sounds great. I would totally just chalk that up to eating sweets.
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  3. #213
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    I had elevated bs 2 hours after breakfast (and my breakfast was Chinese fried noodles and a piece of kind of sponge cake - so very high in carbs). I also know that when I have allergy/asthma attacks my whole body is messed up : I even feel feverish and at times have low-grade fever which makes me feel like I am having a cold. Since you hhave been through this whole turmoil, Kelly, and still have the "aftershocks", I wouldn't be surprised if you bs has spikes. Check on empty stomach and then 2 hours after breakfast again and and may be couple more times during the day. If you still find that numbers are elevated - call in and report that to your ob so they can offer more testing.

    Dorcas, congratulations on a boy!! Hope bs doesn't go up too high!
    Miss T (10.17.2008) Miss A(06.30.2012) Flipper #3 due 06.2014
    Follow my blog on Facebook

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    Oddly enough my FBS hasn't been higher than 92 since I saw my doctor!
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  5. #215
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    Yaay, that's excellent, lol, who knew that's all it'd take, right !
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  6. #216
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    Moral of the story: was the your fbs regulated - see your Dr :-D

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    20 weeks!!

    Since I'm a repeat c-section Mama, I'm going to call this OVER halfway done!! I was able to pick DS2's birthday and banking on the same again I have leveraged birth date for middle name with DH!

    Gideon August is the name!

    The birth date (baring any complications or surprises) will be 10/15. That'll put us at 39w1d which should be just fine. DS2 was born at 39w4d.

    I wasn't so fond of 10/15/14 (numbers aren't in order) but DH's birthday is 4/15 and everyone else in his family shares the same numerical date, 26th so he really jumped on the idea of this LO having the same number. I saw my opportunity and seized it! I said "wanna make a deal?" And so the deal was struck! We are VERY happy with it as each person feels like they got something they really wanted and only had to give up a little something in return.
    Last edited by khadijavye; 06-03-2014 at 06:20 AM.
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  8. #218
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    Wooohoooooooo Happy 20wks!!!!!!!

    I LOVE the name you chose !!!

    10/15 sounds perfect...eep, how exciting to have the day set !!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






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    Thanks Kelly!

    One of the perks of a c/s is being able to control things a bit. 10/15 is a Wednesday and it allows for less time taken off of work for DH and family that will be helping us.

    DH will take off Wednesday and will likely go back to work on Thursday/Friday while a family member helps to take care of the boys on those days (this year Elliot will be in school!!) and my Mom will stay with me and Gideon in the hospital.

    DH will probably take off the following week, though I'm not sure. We haven't talked through everything yet, but I believe he took off that time for each boy.
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



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    I forgot to add that I felt Gideon a BUNCH last night. I'm feeling him a bunch right now, so that reminded me to bring it up.

    This miracle of life is just so awe inspiring. I wish I could do it a bunch more when I'm having moments like these.

    Moments like yesterday afternoon when I felt like my pelvis was on fire, not so much.

    Everyone I know seems to think we're not done having kids ... and I have to admit their voices on the matter have made me wonder if we shouldn't be done.

    My biggest concern is money, obviously. I'm certain I can feed and clothe everyone (though I am afraid for the teen years) but what about fun stuff like sports, lessons, outings, etc?
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  11. #221
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    Happy 20 weeks!

    The activity thing...you get creative. There are county and state programs that are generally lower cost than private for just about anything. I took an acting class through a county program when I was in HS and it was awesome, and they had programs for younger kids. And you can look at surrounding counties, though they generally have an additional "non-resident" fee.

    I think it's trickier for younger kids that are trying to figure out what they like, so there's more activity turnover...which leads to lots of set-up time/money. Eventually they pick one thing they like and stick with it, so your costs come down to time and registration fees, assuming the equipment is reusable and not like clay sculpting or art supplies (eek, so expensive).

    If there's more babies in your future, you'll figure it out. I have faith in you!!
    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  12. #222
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    1/2 way there! I will meet my half way mark on Sunday! I, like you, have been feeling the little one CONSTANTLY the past few days, and having occasional issues with pain here or there, but today it doesn't seem to be too bad.... That will be an awesome birthday I am sure.
    My cousin's birthday is today. My birthday is on Friday. Her daughter's birthday is Oct 26, which is my due date. Both Cousin and I are hoping that I deliver either 3 days before or 3 days after so that we can say that both us and our children will have birthdays two days apart........lol
    Lizzy (28) DH (27) DH diagnosed with CBAVD 6/2013 TTC since 10/2011 STC since 10/2012 5 "fur"kids

  13. #223
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    Halfway and more point and great bs numbers.... you're doing everything right
    It's just amazing how plans can change during pregnancy. My hubby always said he wants only two kids, now he's already talking about three if the next one is a girl too So yes, plans can change and you will figure it out when time is ready.
    Sabrina [33], DH [33] and our precious shaka-girl


  14. #224

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    Gideon is a great name. I L*o*v*e it.....

    Congrats on 20 weeks. I too have been feeling a lot of movement again. And recently have had a ton of "swelling" feeling down there. But nothing bad. Sounds like your doing great.

  15. #225
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    Awww, so precious, and it really is awe-inspiring !

    I used to think I would never "feel done" having kids...that I would physiologically have to be done, but that I would still long for "one more". I'm finding that although I'm cherishing the "lasts of the firsts" and having sentimental moments of wondering if maybe I would be willing to try again, I really, deep down, have peace about this being our last child biologically .

    I think that deep down peace will be there for you too, whatever you decide, regardless of the momentary emotions

    As for the financial considerations...that is a huge factor for sure. It does take more sacrifice the more kiddos a family has, but I think for families who choose to have more, they do make it work.
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  16. #226

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    I think Kelly hit the nail on the head. My thoughts exactly.

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    Thanks ladies!!

    Natalie, I hadn't even though of community based things! I appreciate the perspective and tip!
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  18. #228
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    Congratulations on 20 weeks! And don't think too much into things atm - I am sure whatever number of children you have will figure out everything for them!

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    I have had a very stressful and emotional past week. Last Monday around lunch my mother was served with divorce papers. My parents have been separated for 4.5 years, but the agreement was to leave things as-is until Mom reached Medicare age. My father is retired Air Force and their marriage spanned 17 years active duty (31 at the time of separation, and 36 now since they are still technically married) and you must be married for 20 years on active duty to keep your medical coverage after a divorce. As it stands right now, after a divorce she'll have 1 year of Tricare coverage and then she'll have to find her own insurance. This plan was agreed to because ultimately it saves everyone money and my father is a very cheap man ... so for the most part this was about saving him money. My mother has always been the dependent spouse and since my father left the marriage as a cheater I assumed at the time, and still hope, that things do not go his way, financially, during the divorce.

    So I was pretty shocked to have my mother served divorce papers out of the blue. It brought up all of the pain and anguish from when he left, again, and was obviously very upsetting. Sure, I get that 4.5 years of separation is a long time and sure he's "ready to move on" but that wasn't the agreement and here he goes breaking his word, again. My mother lives with us (she watches my kids) and we are EXTREMELY close, so naturally I am there to help support her and will probably be dealing with 80% or more of this divorce for her. We don't pay her to watch the kids, but we pay for her in other ways like taking care of her finances and now this divorce (leg work, not monetary, though we will jump in for that aspect, too, if need be).

    My father is going to offer half of his military retirement as her "alimony" and he wants her to split the last remaining debt they have which is for a crappy time share. Half of his military retirement is already her RIGHT per their 17 years of active duty marriage, so there's no "giving" there. Also, that amount is apx $400 - $600 less than what he has been giving her in support the last 4.5 years. On top of which, she will now have to pay out of pocket for medical, prescription drug, and dental coverage!! I am BEYOND angry about this. I am certain most of this is stemming from his mistress's desire to remarry and her wish to reduce the financial support to my mother ... because, you know, she hasn't taken enough from my family.

    There are a couple of parts to this that just make me so upset. The first is that my father and I have been working to repair our relationship. When he was in the hospital in January to remove part of his colon (suspected colon cancer that turned out to be clear) I spent several nights with him at the hospital and put my life on hold to help him. When I was pregnant with DS2 I told my Dad about the pregnancy at around 13 weeks, this time I went over to his house (the mistresses house and the first time I'd stepped foot in there) and showed him the positive pregnancy test. I think that kinda illustrates the improvement in our relationship over the last 3 years. Yet he can't sit down and have a conversation with us and say "hey, my situation has changed and I'd like to go ahead and get a legal divorce. What would it take to make that happen?" He can't be an adult. He has to spring surprise divorce papers on my family!!

    I am 20 weeks pregnant!! Why was it important to do this NOW??? He doesn't think of anyone but himself. It's not that I'm terribly upset about the idea of them being officially divorced, it's that he couldn't communicate his wants to us and just dropped another bomb on my family (like when he told my Mom he didn't love her anymore and was leaving). And that he's doing it NOW, in the middle of my pregnancy!!

    He's a complete idiot to piss of a pregnant woman, I tell you! If he wants a divorce, he's going to have to pay for it. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that my mother is well taken care of. Whatever money he takes from her, he's basically taking from my house since she's under our roof. He cheated, he can pay for what he wants. Sadly, even the fight is going to take like 5k. Thankfully we all (under my roof, I doubt he has any money saved) have money saved, but that's certainly NOT what we wanted to use it for!!

    We met with a lawyer on Thursday and have to pay a 3k retainer. She said that will hopefully take us to mediation day, maybe a little into it. The fees are insane. Mediation day will cost like $2,400 for the lawyer's time and $1,200 for "our half" of the mediator!! So basically $3,600 gone ... in a day! It will be SOOO much more if we go to court.

    Thankfully, it sounds like the military retirement is division of assets/property and does NOT count toward alimony, so he's going to be in for the shock of his life when he realizes that it's going to be half the retirement AND half of his take home pay for his daily job. She didn't choose this, he did.

    Also, to add insult to injury the summons has a line that states: "There were no children born of the marriage of the plaintiff and defendant." He's so thoughtless, he didn't even consider what that line meant. I assume that he's under the impression that it's about minor children who would need to receive child support, but the law is very literal and that is NOT what that line means.

    Needless to say, I am severing ties with my father. How many times do you let someone hurt you before you take away their ability to do so?

    Some of you may not agree with how I feel and that cheating spouses should pay. If you don't, I respectfully request that you just not respond to my post. We are all entitled to feel as we do, but I certainly don't need to feel like I have to battle anyone's negative comments. I, and my family, are really hurting over this and I really only need positive vibes and encouragement. I certainly am not gunning to "take him to the cleaners" but I do feel like after 31 years of marriage he has a financial responsibility to my mother and I won't let him shirk that because he wants to spend more money on his mistress. You make life choices and you deal with the consequences. Freedom has a price.
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  20. #230
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    I am so sorry this happened to you. My parents divorced when I was 23...and for me it was completely out of the blue...for my sisters it wasn't so much (they lived in the home). (My dad left, and then told me he was going to date a 28 year old, and as soon as the divorce was finalized, he told me he was going to marry this 28 year old, but that I didn't have to call her mom.) Luckily my parents were able to keep it pretty civil and never argued over custody arrangements for my baby sister who was 12 at the time (she is now 17). I still have an issue with my dad at times, and there were numerous times that I didn't want to speak to him.
    I hope that you and your mom are able to get through this difficult time. I have no words of wisdom, but a big hug to you and your mom!
    Lizzy (28) DH (27) DH diagnosed with CBAVD 6/2013 TTC since 10/2011 STC since 10/2012 5 "fur"kids

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    Thank you Lizzy!
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  22. #232
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    I just wanted to say big hugs. I sort of get it as my MIL just had the divorce finalized last week. And I hold a lot of anger and have big time issues with her ex....and that isn't even my DH's father. But it was similar in that promises were made and he left. he didn't want to try, he's done nothing but cause her stress and screw her life over. And he promised to hang in until Medicare. Yet at 63 yrs old, she's having to do a short sale on her house and move...they lived in chicago area and she's from and all her family is in the milwaukee area. So she loses a husband, she's going to have to lose her home, she's losing her job and going to have to move in with her 93 yr old father. AND pay for health insurance from the exchange. No alimony in their case. I hate him for doing this to her and begging her to move down there an marry him and than breaking those promises.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  23. #233
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    So Sorry to hear you are going through this awful time Dorcas! It sounds like you have a great plan in place and support system for your Mother, she is lucky to have you! Men can be such JERKS sometimes and thoughtless too
    Me-Kelly (29) DH-Phillip (33) 2 unexplained losses. Ready for a rainbow baby!

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    Wow, Jennifer. I really hate that there's no recourse in your MIL's situation. Big hugs to you and your family, too!

    Thank you Kelly! We love her bunches and will do whatever we need to do in order to protect her. I wish I had a magic wand for the emotional pain, though.
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  25. #235

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    I am so sorry you have to go through this.I would do everything in my power to make sure your mom is taken care of for life. Thinking of you...

  26. #236
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    Sorry your mom is going through this. My parents are divorced for different reasons and while my mom just had to have him sent away (he was a ragious alcoholic, the very horrible type you find under the tree unconscious), it still hurt her that he asked for divorce years later when he met someone else. My mom didn't want reconciliation but never asked for divorce either - I think she was just not comfortable with the "label".
    I am also divorced. And I got absolutely nothing from that marriage as I decided to just walk away instead of wasting my life on fighting. Thankfully we had no children so it was easier to have everything settle quickly.
    Big hugs and I hope the divorce at least doesn't stretch for long time and hopefully they can settle all with mediation and without court involvement and to your mom's benefit.
    I also agree that cheating party that especially asked for divorce should pay.

  27. #237
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    Ugh, ugh, UGH Dorcas I am just sooo sorry, this is so upsetting in one million and one ways...I just hate this for your family, SO.UNFAIR. !! I don't blame you for severing ties !!!

    My dad broke our hearts too...won't go into it, but I don't understand how you can be with someone for 25yrs, have kids with them, and then treat them so horribly .

    Thinking of you and praying praying praying with your family through this !!!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  28. #238
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    I don't have any personal experience with divorces, so I can just offer you a hug and telling you that all you're going to do sounds absolutely reasonable to me
    Sabrina [33], DH [33] and our precious shaka-girl


  29. #239
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    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  30. #240
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    I am so extremely sorry Dorcas. My heart just aches for your mom.
    waiting for our hearts to healBrittany(28)DH(39) DSD-(18) DS-Tristan(4) DD-Brooke(3) DS-Preston(1)*my miracles*

    12/05/07 14wks, 10/10/08 9wks, 12/20/13 8wks, 05/06/14 10wks

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