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Thread: TPR hearing next week

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  1. #1
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    Default TPR hearing next week

    Our TPR hearing is next week. I'm getting nervous. This will not be an easy day. I know it'll all hurt mom so bad to hear everyone saying bad things about her. There are a lot of witnesses. I may have to testify but I'm hoping they wind up not needing me to.

    Nothing has really changed since the last court date. There was talk of possible visits but no word on that so unless we have a goodbye visit that shouldn't be an issue. Baby girl's mom sent some things around Christmas. The SW said she was required to drop them off but indicated we didn't have to give them to her...almost like we were already the official adoptive parents. Of course we gave the presents to her and will keep them. She may never get anything else from her mom so I think it's important to cherish what she has given her.

    So now we just hope that TPR happens and that we don't have a continuance. I'm hugely pregnant so any extension could be very hard to deal with and I have to be present in court. Hopefully this is our last court date before we finalize. I can't imagine this actually being over and her being ours forever!

  2. #2

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    I hope it goes smoothly and that you can call baby girl officially yours very soon!



  3. #3
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    I really hope all goes well for you. You're right about it not being easy for her but it's not exactly been a picnic for you all the time either.

    I can't wait until you can share her with us!

  4. #4

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    Praying that this is it and that she will legally be yours. I think you are awesome for letting her have those gifts and one day she will be thankful for that.




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    Leah I was just wondering how things were going. I cannot see any reason why they wouldn't do the TPR. From what you have said, the mom just isn't able to have baby girl and it sounds like nobody thinks it would be in baby girls best interest. Yes it will likely hurt the mom but this isn't about her, it's about what is best for baby girl. It's not like it's anyone's fault, it just is what it is.

    I cannot wait to log in and see that the TPR is over and you are officially on the start towards adopting your daughter.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Leah I was just wondering how things were going. I cannot see any reason why they wouldn't do the TPR. From what you have said, the mom just isn't able to have baby girl and it sounds like nobody thinks it would be in baby girls best interest. Yes it will likely hurt the mom but this isn't about her, it's about what is best for baby girl. It's not like it's anyone's fault, it just is what it is.

    I cannot wait to log in and see that the TPR is over and you are officially on the start towards adopting your daughter.
    ^^^This

    And I'm so excited that this is almost over for you !!! Praying, praying, praging for TPR and a finalization date !
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  7. #7

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    I have everything crossed! I can't wait for it all to be official, so we can finally see a pic of your beautiful girl and know her name ;)

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

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    Quote Originally Posted by TripMomma View Post
    I have everything crossed! I can't wait for it all to be official, so we can finally see a pic of your beautiful girl and know her name ;)
    Right!?! LOL, I can't wait to "officially" "meet" her !!! And see sib pics, woooot !!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  9. #9
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    Thank you all for the support! Just saw her SW and bio mom is back in the mental hospital so court will probably be continued. Also apparently bio dad has still not signed the voluntary relinquishment papers. My guess is more out of laziness than anything. I'm upset. The end was so near and now it's looking like it could drag on forever.

  10. #10

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    I'm sorry to hear that you might have an additional setback. I hope it gets resolved quickly.
    Dorcas (35) DH (36) 3/13



  11. #11
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    Oh I really hope that they just go ahead. At some point that have to just say enough already and do the TPR. Court is still on for next week, right?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #12

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    Leah, I hope this is over for you soon.
    Mommy to Lilliana (10/2006) & Summer (10/2011)!




  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Oh I really hope that they just go ahead. At some point that have to just say enough already and do the TPR. Court is still on for next week, right?
    They're saying we may have no court next week if bio mom isn't well enough. I'm soooo frustrated. Just when you see an end in sight...oh and I do have some private pics on fb if any of you want to see her. Just pm me and I'll give you my fb info. :-)

  14. #14
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    ​Oh Leah I'm so sorry you may be facing a delay ...really praying everything will work out so court can happen and you can move forward with tpr and finalization asap
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






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    Sorry to hear about the possible delay, seems like those things would only help you cause, but I understand why it's done that way.

    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  16. #16
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    I'm really hoping that they just end up deciding that it doesn't matter if she is there or not and do the TPR.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I'm really hoping that they just end up deciding that it doesn't matter if she is there or not and do the TPR.
    ^^^This.

    Sadly, mom may never be "well enough", especially considering the mental distress I'm sure this is causing her. I really can't imagine they'd delay on account of her having a bad day. After all, her mental health is the reason for TPR...seems like it would only validate the need for it to happen sooner rather than later. I know though the court has protocol...hoping your court date is still a go this week.

    Any word?
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  18. #18
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    TPR hearing was officially continued until March 26th...my due date is March 17th. I can't see how this will work out well unless I go early...and even still it doesn't look like I'll be able to attend. They said they understood if I couldn't be there and didn't think it would affect the case. I guess the lawyer didn't want to put me on the stand anyway. Maybe I can provide a written statement just in case and send DH along. He can't testify on my behalf obviously but he can be eyes and ears at least. We haven't missed a single court date. I feel like they're trying to make us choose between our children even though I know that's ridiculous. I guess we'll reevaluate once it's closer...

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leah26 View Post
    TPR hearing was officially continued until March 26th...my due date is March 17th. I can't see how this will work out well unless I go early...and even still it doesn't look like I'll be able to attend. They said they understood if I couldn't be there and didn't think it would affect the case. I guess the lawyer didn't want to put me on the stand anyway. Maybe I can provide a written statement just in case and send DH along. He can't testify on my behalf obviously but he can be eyes and ears at least. We haven't missed a single court date. I feel like they're trying to make us choose between our children even though I know that's ridiculous. I guess we'll reevaluate once it's closer...

    Leah, did the TPR happen yesterday? Just wondering how you all were doing.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  20. #20
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    Definitely prepare a sworn statement that can be read for you just in case!! I'm so sorry that it was pushed out to a time when it's not clear that you can be there, I know that is important to you and would be to any of us as well.

    Lots of hugs!!

  21. #21

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    I don't see why you can't go. Newborns sleep a lot. Just wear the baby and slip out of the room at first sign of fussing. Chances are you can feed and change the baby and they will sleep the whole time. I would go and play it by ear. Either way...good luck, I hope this is all over for you guys soon.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  22. #22
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    That sucks that they continued. I'm trying to think back and don't think recall my aunt going to the TPR for my cousins. Actually for the first one, the biologicals were not there either.
    Hopefully you can still go.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  23. #23
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    Ugh, ugh, ugh !!!!

    I'm so sorry about the continuance and the timing of it ...thinking of you !
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripMomma View Post
    I don't see why you can't go. Newborns sleep a lot. Just wear the baby and slip out of the room at first sign of fussing. Chances are you can feed and change the baby and they will sleep the whole time. I would go and play it by ear. Either way...good luck, I hope this is all over for you guys soon.
    They won't allow children in the court room at all. They would be offended if I brought a newborn and it's a closed, private court trial so no going in and out unless there's a recess. And there will probably be at least one but this Judge would be seriously angry if a baby cried and interrupted things. ..so taking him is a huge no no.

    It's not an absolute requirement that foster parents attend any court dates but we've never missed one and they're the best way to get info about the case. A lot of our questions will be answered. Of course I have a subpoena but they said it was more of a formality and that they doubted they'd have me testify anyway. I asked what would happen if I was in labor and couldn't go and they laughed and said I wouldn't be found in contempt of court and not to worry about that.

    So it's more a matter of our desire to attend. The judge notices we've been there at each date so I think one of us should be there for appearances sake. Plus it just means a lot to us. We feel we need to be present as advocates even if we never speak. Hopefully it'll work out and I can go.

  25. #25
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    I get that, I would absolutely want to go as well. If nothing else, can someone come and stay outside the court room with the baby?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  26. #26
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    I doubt even that would be okay or worth It. If he cried and they needed me it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't be permitted to leave the court room. Plus the germs there...ugh. We go to juvenile court and there are some of the nastiest people in there. Always coughing and people high and goodness knows what. It's really not a place for a baby. I feel like we have two choices assuming I'm not in labor that day and I doubt it because I'd be over 41 weeks. Either I send DH and see if the lawyer wants me to provide a written statement ahead of time, or we both go and I pump and let my mom and step dad stay at my house with the kids. If I had to testify, I could b perhaps go first and then leave after also. They're talking a five hour trial in a teeny courtroom. Ugh. I hate this. I need to call our SW tomorrow and see what she thinks will be best.

  27. #27

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    Quote Originally Posted by Leah26 View Post
    Our TPR hearing is next week. I'm getting nervous. This will not be an easy day. I know it'll all hurt mom so bad to hear everyone saying bad things about her. There are a lot of witnesses. I may have to testify but I'm hoping they wind up not needing me to.

    Nothing has really changed since the last court date. There was talk of possible visits but no word on that so unless we have a goodbye visit that shouldn't be an issue. Baby girl's mom sent some things around Christmas. The SW said she was required to drop them off but indicated we didn't have to give them to her...almost like we were already the official adoptive parents. Of course we gave the presents to her and will keep them. She may never get anything else from her mom so I think it's important to cherish what she has given her.

    So now we just hope that TPR happens and that we don't have a continuance. I'm hugely pregnant so any extension could be very hard to deal with and I have to be present in court. Hopefully this is our last court date before we finalize. I can't imagine this actually being over and her being ours forever!
    Hi. I am paternal G'ma of my grandson who is 3 and my granddaughter turning 2 this month. TPR is scheduled for 3/20/2014. Mom broke up w/ my son and told me she is going to 'fight' for her kids now. She has never participated in her case plan. Random drug tests, individual counseling, parenting, and domestic violence counseling. In Sept 2013 she gave birth to her 3rd kid. Not my grandkid. She tested + and so did baby for pot and meth. That baby was detained immediately and was placed with maternal aunt. I am in the middle of a home adoption study. But now I am worried because she is threatening that she will 'fight' for her kids. Should I worry?

  28. #28
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    Hi there! So sorry to hear your family has had to to through so much! In my experience you should pay attention more to what they di and less to what they say. She may decide to get clean and fight but history tends to repeat itself and if she hasn't been clean in a long time it's sadly not very likely that she will suddenly.

    A lot of what happens depends on your state and county too. Some areas are more lenient and give birth parents more and more time and extensions and other areas (like mine) give them 12 months and that's it. We don't see a lot of extensions here.

    More than likely if TPR is scheduled to happen the state already has more than enough evidence to make TPR happen. In most areas, it's usually pretty close to a done deal by the time they get to TPR. Bio mom can't do a lot to fight other than appeal and appeals are rarely won. This is simply because most lawyers won't pursue TPR unless they know they can win an appeal. I hope this made sense. If you want to talk more feel free to PM me. I hope I helped! Good luck!

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