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Thread: Do you let the kids decide for themselves?

  1. #1

    Default Do you let the kids decide for themselves?

    As far as religious views go? The kids were gifted books and 1 book shelve per child from a program associated with Habitat for Humanity. Its such a sweet idea and I knew getting into the program that they are a Christian company which didn't bother me still does not, they won't be seeing the last of us when it comes to volunteering. Anyways Cody and Sophia received a Children's Bible among many other books. I read to both kids but, Cody has been drawn to The Children's Bible so we read stories nightly. I am thinking I do not want to personally influence him though I am on the fence of who I am in terms of religious views. We were reading about the part about how the water turned into blood, then all of plagues started, things like that. Cody says though he is only 5 " Yeah right that did NOT happen". I asked "Do you still want me to read about it"? I didn't want read it if it made him uncomfortable. He says " Yes, I still want to know more about the Bible". I feel like him and Sophia should decide for themselves. I think its really smart and observant of him to express his opinions. I enjoy his opinions too. If your child has curiosity about religion and you aren't sure if you believe in God or if you are an Atheist would you be okay with reading to he/ or she a Children's Bible even if you personally don't believe it? Oh and I don't just mean Christianity only either we just happen to live a very Christian area of the US.
    Last edited by mom2CodySophia0811; 12-23-2013 at 11:09 PM.
    *** Lindsay ***



  2. #2
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    Yes. I read religious texts to her, just as I would, any work of literature. God is approached from a 'some people believe this is true/happened' perspective.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Yes. I read religious texts to her, just as I would, any work of literature. God is approached from a 'some people believe this is true/happened' perspective.
    That is exactly what I tell Cody if he asks me "Did this really happen"?
    *** Lindsay ***



  4. #4

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    I haven't really had to deal with that yet with Maiya, she's not even 4 yet. But when she is older, if she has her own interest, I intend to approach it in much the same way as you. If she wants to read it, we will. And I'll kind of approach it like weaning, "don't offer, don't refuse"! If she asks questions, I intend to answer as truthfully as I can, just the facts, nothing more.

    Hope you guys enjoy your stories!



  5. #5

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    Our approach is similar to those above. My older dd has access to all kinds of religious information and texts, and I try to answer her neutrally as much as possible. A couple of years ago she wanted to go to teen nights with friends at a local church. We drove her there. Lately she's been interested in paganism. I got her some books. She's been studying world religions this year as a homeschool subject - her choice - so she's learning about all of them. We have Bibles on our shelves along with many other philosophical and religious works, and she's free to read them. In fact, I encourage it, now that I'm confident she's old enough to process it.

    I admit that for my younger dd, who is 4, with Christianity I am a little more ... guarded. I come from a very religious background and my parents, who my dd adores, are very vocally and openly Christian. They push a little bit, insert little comments to dd about Jesus and God. In fact, just this week my mom sent books to dd - one storybook bible and one children's book about "God's love." I confess that I don't think I'll be reading them to her, although I shoved them on her bookshelf. Some of the tenets of religion can be scary to a child (the idea of hell, for one). I wouldn't read any other book to her about someone being nailed to a cross until he died. But she does know that some people believe in God and Jesus, and as she gets older I'm sure she'll want to know more and I'll judge how ready she is to accept the information.

    I probably would be more open to reading to her from a bible if we didn't already have those influences in our lives, coming from someone she loves and respects so much. The last time my folks visited, while they babysat they watched Veggie Tales with Noe. She came running to me later saying "Guess who loves me?" I named off the people in our family. "Nope!" she said. "It's God! God loves me!" I mean... what do you say to that in a 4 year old?
    (I do read to her often from a book of myths and creation stories, and there are many stories about gods and goddesses from various religions in it - so when I attempted to explain what the Christian God was, I was able to draw from that and say that some people believe he is the creator of the world.)
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  6. #6

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    I love the feedback about this.
    *** Lindsay ***



  7. #7
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    Violet isn't out in the world yet, but I'm going to do the same - if she expresses interest, I will let her explore/take her to different churches or temples or mosques or whatever she pleases... I don't want anybody trying to force anything on her, but I will let her make her own decisions as to whether or not she's going to follow a religion or anything.
    Miriam (26) Mark (28) #1 on the way, due 1-5-2014, and it's a girl! FF/Temps



  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sermari View Post
    Violet isn't out in the world yet, but I'm going to do the same - if she expresses interest, I will let her explore/take her to different churches or temples or mosques or whatever she pleases... I don't want anybody trying to force anything on her, but I will let her make her own decisions as to whether or not she's going to follow a religion or anything.
    Love the name Violet
    *** Lindsay ***



  9. #9

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    We do let our kids decide. And are nervous about it. As kids, they are very open when something doesn't make sense to them or confuses them. But my friend's son had a yelling match with her about how she ruined him by not raising him christian. He's now part of some youth group. What if the same happens to me? Anyway, right now we are going by what we think is natural

  10. #10

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    Judging by my experience as a teenager myself and, now, raising one -- they're gonna yell at you for ruining their lives no matter what. That's just how they do.
    (I mean, not all teens resent their parents, but differentiation is a very normal part of the process. If they want to be mad at you, they'll find something.)
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  11. #11
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    It's definitely a tough thing for me because I feel like a majority of kids at some point will be interested in exploring religion unfortunately there's not many options in my area. I'm totally willing to help them get educated about any/all religions. I want my kids to understand what the religions are about and not just get sucked into the pschyo-social / touchy-feely parts of them that DOES feel good if you happen to need it. Other kids can put peer pressure on your kids to join the crowd, which is just great when those kids don't really understand what they're into and are following others themselves.

    I went through several Christian phases so far (while I feel like it won't happen again, I'm not psychic...) and it always happened in times of crisis and having many unfulfilled needs. When I was able to reconcile my own needs, I left the Christianity behind.

    I also think that it's wrong to claim to be a follower of a religion and not live by the tenets of that religion OR to be a casual hanger-on that uses religion conveniently to suit their needs. It's ultimately why Christianity didn't work for me.

    I consider myself a searching agnostic, I'm just not sure I'll find what I'm looking for.
    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  12. #12

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    I really appreciate all answers I haven't been in this room for awhile only because I haven't noticed many new topics but, I do enjoy all feedback.
    *** Lindsay ***



  13. #13

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    We read text from all religious backgrounds and to us they are all just stories and represent the journey of mankind in their quest for knowledge and understanding our universe. My kids know that most of the people we know believe stories from the bible as truth, but that I do not and at this point, neither do they. I will always support them in any learning about any subject, religious or otherwise!
    Thanks for starting a topic in here! It's nice!

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    We read text from all religious backgrounds and to us they are all just stories and represent the journey of mankind in their quest for knowledge and understanding our universe. My kids know that most of the people we know believe stories from the bible as truth, but that I do not and at this point, neither do they. I will always support them in any learning about any subject, religious or otherwise!
    Thanks for starting a topic in here! It's nice!
    I feel the same way. I feel generally speaking people are losing out on many choices we are starting to watch documentaries on different families and family dynamics. Cody mentioned prayer and asked if I was bothered by it in a general way or something to that affect. I told him "That is always your choice that's good you want to pray I will never tell you to or not to pray that's always your choice". I enjoy showing the kids in a general sense how others live to give them a level of compassion, education, and understanding. We watched how a gay couple adopted and I briefly went into how its OK for anyone to love whomever they want. We even watched the Duggars when they had 17 kids and he had a couple of questions "Why do they have so many kids and we don't" I emphasized that some people don't have any children, some only have two like us, some have 4, but, they have 17 and its their choice and its OK for them as long as the kids are cared for. He was fascinated by the different families and enjoyed the documentaries.
    *** Lindsay ***



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