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Thread: Family Partnership Meeting tomorrow with DSS

  1. #1
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    Default Family Partnership Meeting tomorrow with DSS

    I'm so nervous tonight. We have a meeting tomorrow with DSS and to my knowledge, from what we learned in training and the CM said recently, this meeting is to let bio mom and possibly bio dad know that they will not be getting baby girl back and that the goal will be changed from return to home to adoption. I'm really nervous. First off, I have no idea if bio dad will be there, or bio mom for that matter but I'm pretty sure the meeting is pointless without mom. I have no idea how her mental state is but considering she's been in a mental hospital for the better part of the last 8 months I doubt it's good. They're also still refusing visits so I imagine she's in a pretty bad way still. I'm terrified to see her and I'm really worried about her reaction to everything. She lives in her own world most of the time so depending how how she's functioning tomorrow I'm not sure if she'll understand what is happening or why. I'm afraid she'll get upset with us as she has before. I'm also worried if bio dad is there that he'll be mad or something that I'm pregnant. He just has himself totally convinced that people don't foster or try to adopt unless they can't have children. Doesn't matter how many times I told him in the past that we didn't know if I could or not and while we'd had no luck yet that wasn't the only reason we were doing this. Plenty of people who can have bio children adopt but he just has that stigma in his head so I'm afraid he'll be convinced I lied to him even though I told him repeatedly that wasn't the case. Ugh! These things make me a wreck. I'm also nervous about the meeting in general because I'm afraid we'll be thrown a curve ball or something and find out they're going to extend the case or something though mom has done nothing on her plan in a very long time. Dad walked away a long time ago, if you could ever consider him being around at all. No one has heard from him since he saw baby girl for the first time. So...I don't know what to think. Just lots of nerves and a billion thoughts going through my head tonight.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  2. #2
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    Big hugs Leah! I will be sending good thoughts your way tomorrow and hopefully the meeting goes well and as planned. Can you wear something baggy so it doesn't show as much? Your being pg shouldn't even be something that he has to know or should know.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  3. #3
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    I agree! He'll see it though, if he's there. Since he's never had a case plan I'm not sure he'll be invited. They've been more focused on mom from day 1 and have been concerned about her comfort and not so much with his. It's clear they can't stand him because they all feel he took advantage of mom when she was vulnerable. I do have a sort of baggy shirt I can wear that minimizes it but it's pretty obvious. I'm pretty large for 17 weeks. Everyone at DSS knows and is thrilled for us so I'm not worried about how they feel really but mom and dad...I don't know. I'm worried about a giant explosion or something really uncomfortable and awkward. Thank goodness we won't be in there alone.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  4. #4
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    I really hope that the meeting goes very well!
    Jessica (32) and Ryan (32). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    My Ovulation Chart

  5. #5
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    Good luck today Leah!! From the sound of it, I would be really nervous too. But I hope you are pleasantly surprised and it goes really well!

  6. #6
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    Well, the meeting went well. We were the only people there other than the SW and the mediator person who is probably the new CM. Bio mom is back in the hospital for the 5th time in 7 months and bio dad chose not to show up. So it was pretty easy and low key. We talked about how baby girl is a dream baby, happy, healthy, hitting all her milestones and spoiled rotten. Lol. They told us after noting strengths for those involved (mostly about baby) and concerns (all about mom and dad's inability to parent) that DSS has decided to recommend a goal change of TPR and adoption to the judge. The GAL is also going to recommend the same thing so at the next court date the goal should be changed, not just to adoption, but adoption by us! Yay! The judge could technically over rule it but I seriously doubt she will. She basically said at the last court date if nothing improved she wouldn't have a choice. So, no idea when we'll get to start the official process or when it will be finalized but the're telling us right now that she's going to be ours forever! It's hard to completely accept it until her last name is changed, with a system like this, but I think it's all looking very very good!
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  7. #7
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    Wonderful! I am so excited for you and really, really hope that the judge agrees!
    Jessica (32) and Ryan (32). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    My Ovulation Chart

  8. #8
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    That is the best news I've heard all day!! Congrats!!! YAY!!!

    2/28/13

  9. #9

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    Fabulous news!!! I am so excited for you!

    2/09 6/09 4/14

  10. #10

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    OMG this post makes me so happy. I can't wait until it's official and you can post pictures of this sweet girl. I have been following your story since you first posted and I am just so happy for you.
    Mommy to Lilliana (10/2006) & Summer (10/2011)!




  11. #11
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    Amazing news!! So happy for you. Wouldn't it be wonderful if that could all be done by the time the new baby arrives!

  12. #12
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    That is great news!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #13

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    I'm so happy for you guys, amazing news!

  14. #14

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    What amazingly awesome news!!!!!! I'm so happy for you!!!!!!

  15. #15
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    Such wonderful news! I am so happy for you!
    Jennifer


  16. #16

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    Oh my goodness! What incredible news!

  17. #17
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    Wonderful news!
    Julie, DH: W, DS: Mason, GGB Trips Amelia, Ellanor & Noah
    FFS "Baby C" disrupted fost/adopt of sibs Q,Z,J & K 9/10-3/11

  18. #18
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    So happy to hear this!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  19. #19
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    Gaaah, Leah, I am sooooo happy for you !! What an amazing update...wooohoooo !!!

    *Happy tears* !

    You're almost there ♥...what a tough path but you have done spectacularly .
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  20. #20

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    Stepping in: I sounds like everything is on track for the adoption! I wanted to mention an ex-boyfriend of mine was adopted at birth and his parents that adopted didn't think they could have kids but, through the process his adoptive mother become pregnant. She was 4 months pregnant when he was born. She had a newborn and a 5 month old so don't worry. I really hope that everything will continue to move forward in your favor.

  21. #21

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    I'm totally late seeing this, but I wanted to say, Leah, I'm so happy it went well and it looks like you're on track for adoption!


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