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Thread: Anyone adopted through the foster to adopt program?

  1. #1

    Default Anyone adopted through the foster to adopt program?

    DH and I made a deal to complete one IVF cycle and last night we just got word that we only have three embryos growing. We are hoping to go in for transfer tomorrow, pending they are all still growing. In the meantime, DH has always wanted to adopt. I have been praying about it and feel that this might be where God is leading us. Obviously with spending the $15,000 on IVF, we are all out of money. So we were going to look into the foster to adopt system. Do any of you know how often babies are available and he often they become available or adoption? I feel so lost in this thread but am ready to move forward with this process, even if we do miraculously get pregnant with our current process.

    Thank you all or helping me on this new journey to motherhood! By the way, we are in Phoenix.

    TTC since 08/06
    Cheryl- 34 Nick-32
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3f4f0a

  2. #2
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    I took a class on fostering/adoption and was continually reminded that the goal of the foster program is always to reunite the child with the parents (or a relative). So, you really need to keep that in mind. The courts will not ever look at you to adopt the child until every avenue of possible reuniting with family is exhausted.

    All that to say, that we do still plan to foster and will always be willing to adopt a child we have fostered. We haven't done this yet, primarily as our last few years have been transient. That looks to be over now!
    Jessica (33) and Ryan (33). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    My Ovulation Chart , My blog about MCAD

  3. #3
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    We have tried, several times in several states, and it never worked out for us. I would not do a fost/adopt program again. We are hoping to foster in the future though. If you want more details, you can message me. I know several people who have been successful so it's not that I think it's a bad program or anything, I'm just done with it after our last placement fell apart. It's a ton of work, a lot of jumping through hoops and depending on the situation, visits with family or therapy/doctor/support groups, and it's a total emotional rollercoaster. If it's something you are seriously considering, I would talk with whomever does licensing for your area or agency you hope to use about sitting in on support group meeting or two. I really love the forums at fosterparent.com but those gals are fierce, honest to a fault, and some people really don't like hearing it. But, the wealth of experience they have is unmatched. Mothering also has a very active adopt group with several going through f/a.
    Julie, DH: W, DS: Mason, GGB Trips Amelia, Ellanor & Noah
    FFS "Baby C" disrupted fost/adopt of sibs Q,Z,J & K 9/10-3/11

  4. #4
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    I think kellyowens on here successfully adopted a child through the fost-adopt program. I hope she sees this and responds, or you can PM her. She is super sweet and a big advocate for adoption.

    Good luck, with everything!

  5. #5
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    We did not do foster care but we did adopt a toddler from the foster care system . We had a great experience! Not to say it wasn't without challenges...it absolutely had challenges but I can't imagine our lives without ds !!!

    It is nearly impossible to adopt an *infant* without fostering first though and the wait for termination of parental rights can take years if it happens at all . That doesn't mean there aren't success stories out there! And if it brings your child home to you...it will be worth the wait, heart-ache, and trials if you're up for it.

    If you are open to adopting a toddler-preschool aged child though your wait may not be as long .

    !!! Either way, really praying for a successful transfer today and hh9m!!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  6. #6
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    There are different programs. One is foster care where you foster with the idea that they are trying to reunite the family but if it doesn't work out, foster parents often get first chance to adopt that child that has been in their care. In this case you can get newborns and infants but there is a lot of risk that they will go back. My aunt adopted my cousins this way and even though she has them as babies, it still took about 18 months to terminate parental rights and in neither case did anyone fight the termination.
    The other is adoption from foster care where the kids are already legally terminated and ready to go. Much less risk to your heart but you will not really find infants there. Probably toddler age and up and even that might be harder to find as the younger the child, the more people that want to adopt that child.

    In my state we have safe haven laws where newborns can be dropped off at a hospital or police/fire station and no questions asked. Those babies in my state do not go into foster care but instead are placed with waiting families via the adoption agency. My agency is one that receives safe haven babies and when that happens, the family waiting longest is usually asked if they are interested in that match.

    So much about adoption is done on the state level and laws really do vary. In my state birth mom's do not terminate until they go to court and that happens after the birth....other states they can sign papers terminating in the hospital 48 hours after the birth.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  7. #7
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    Hi there! Just wanted to say that we are in the process right now and are a foster to adopt family!

    As the others have said foster to adopt can be a hard way to adopt. They do pay a lot more attention to the foster aspect of it and less to the adoption part. We decided after years of infertility to take a break and try to adoption route before deciding what to do in the future about trying for a baby again. We looked into other methods and foster to adopt was really the only way we could do it and afford it.

    So I made a call to our local social services and got some information about how it works. It's very different in different counties and states and there are a few ways to go about it. Some people go through adoption agencies. In my experience, this isn't always the best way to go but it really depends on your area. We're lucky to have a very good social services office here and everyone there has done a great job and has offered us as much support as they can.

    Also, you can get babies, but like the others have said, typically by the time they become available for adoption they are toddlers. Our little one is almost a year old and we got her straight from the hospital at 2 days old. If nothing changes in her case we should be able to start the adoption process for her in November or December, but it probably won't be completed until Feb or March. Some states have safe haven laws, ours doesn't so there's really no other way to get a newborn without spending the huge amounts of money in our state other than foster to adopt. There are sometimes situations where a parent may decide to sign their rights over and let you adopt but that's pretty rare. There was talk of it in our case but of course it didn't happen.

    After a lot of debate we decided that we just needed a change, and at least if we didn't get to adopt our first placement we would know we were helping children along the way and at least we could be parents and making a difference in these kids lives. That's how we decided to go this route. We've been very lucky. Had very little wait time before we got our little one and have had mostly positive experiences compared to how it can be. It really all depends on your area. I'd do a lot of research and make some phone calls. It also helped me to read "You Can Adopt" and read the sections about foster to adopt programs. There are a few stories in there of people who succeeded in adopting this way and that helped us make our decision.

    Good luck! If you want anymore info please feel free to PM me! We've been through a lot with it this year and I've learned way more than I ever thought I would.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  8. #8

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    Thank you all! We met with the Catholic Social Services. We are beginning our foster classes the second weekend in October and it is an expedited program that will have us completed in November! We also received a phone call this weekend from a family friend who informed us that her niece is looking for a family to adopt her 4 week old baby. The only problem is that the baby is in Utah and I am not sure if we will be considered as we live in Arizona. We are waiting for the feedback tomorrow. I will keep you posted. Thanks again.

    TTC since 08/06
    Cheryl- 34 Nick-32
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3f4f0a

  9. #9
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    I think if this neice is looking for a family for the baby, it's really up to her and state shouldn't matter unless it matters to her.
    It is great when matches can happen without the agency or lawyer finding it for you...should make for a cheaper adoption.
    Hope she considers you and it works out!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  10. #10
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    I am so glad your approval will be expedited, that's fantastic!! Praying, praying, praying it all happens quickly for you !!!

    We started the process in Dec '08, were matched in Mar 09, met ds May 1st, he was placed with us Jun 19th (this would have been expedited had we been approved for fcare), and his adoption finalized Dec 23, 09. It was a whirlwind but at the same time every day seemed like an eternity waiting to bring him home .

    Thinking of you!!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  11. #11

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    Okay, I should be more specific, the baby was taken from the mother as she is addicted to drugs. Her parents were not allowed to take the baby as they are users as well. The father is using, so his parents currently have him. Apparently they do not want to keep him, so the social worker is trying every family member first before placing him with a foster family. We are really hoping we may have a chance.

    TTC since 08/06
    Cheryl- 34 Nick-32
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3f4f0a

  12. #12
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    Staying very hopeful for you Cheryl !

    Kup on the process . You're going through Catholic Services, correct?
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  13. #13

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    Hi Kelly, yes we are going through Catholic Charities.

    TTC since 08/06
    Cheryl- 34 Nick-32
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3f4f0a

  14. #14
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    Cheryl...how are things going? Any new updates?

    ...thinking of you ♥

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