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Thread: Mini Update-visit from SW

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011

    Default Mini Update-visit from SW

    Well we had an impromptu visit from our SW the other day and I got a little bit more info. Still looks like pretty much nothing has changed, but mom is out of the hospital. Looks like she's back off meds and into her usual routine already. It seems like a miracle to me now that she functioned as well as she did in the beginning after having baby girl. It's sad. I thought being in the hospital as long as she was they were sure to figure something out to help her, even if it meant making her a more permanent patient. Sounds like they just gave up and discharged her. So they still aren't allowing her visits. She still thinks baby girl isn't hers. Same old same old. I asked about dad since last I heard he might call back to maybe schedule another visit with baby girl. Well, he fell off the face of the Earth after that basically. The SW said she hasn't heard a word out of him. Hasn't heard a word out of fictive kin grandma who initially wanted custody...nothing. Everything has gone pretty quiet. Part of me is scared it's the calm before the storm in a way, but from everyone I've talked to, it seems this is pretty typical before a goal change and before TPR. We haven't heard from baby girl's CASA in months and she's supposed to do a visit with her every 30 days. Some advocates they turned out to be.

    Also, I don't remember if I posted on here about it but I think I did. A while back, quite a while back, one of the CASA people upset me really bad. When mom lost her visits she indicated it was my fault for trying to make mom feel better by giving her a Valentine's Day card with pics of baby girl in it. I didn't want her to be sad she didn't have her little girl with her on Valentine's Day so we tried to do something nice. It backfired, she freaked out and said that wasn't her baby in the pics and hasn't had a visit since. At the time I was told by one of the CASA "supervisors" that it was basically my fault mom lost her visits and had an episode and that I never should have given her a card. Well, recently we had a home visit from the CM when we moved to our new house. I mentioned it to her in passing and she was FURIOUS! In fact she very blatantly said that she was "pissed off" and to excuse her language but what the lady said was "BS". She asked for her name and when I told her she said she should have known. Apparently the lady isn't a true supervisor in any capacity. So she lied to me. They said if I needed a contact to call another girl that I've seen at court a few times. Apparently this lady has had a few formal complaints filed against her. Once all this is over I may file a complaint myself. Her acting the way she did made us never want to foster again. I think then and there was when our decision about that was made. Anyway, felt good to finally get some validation on that. The CM said I did the right thing. I love her.

    So all in all, not a lot has changed. Both parents still doing nothing, no petitions filed. There is supposed to be a family partnership meeting in a month to discuss the goal change of adoption by a non relative and TPR for the parents. Hopefully, nothing else changes before court and we're starting the adoption process in November. There'd be no better way to celebrate baby girl's first birthday than to also be celebrating the beginning of the adoption process...except maybe finalizing it. So far so good. We're just carrying on as usual and hoping for the best!
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    New York


    It sounds like no news is good news at this point! And I'm glad you got the validation you deserve when it comes to the whole valentines day thing. That was crazy how that woman treated you.
    All in all it's really sad that birth mom couldn't get or wouldn't accept the help she needs. But again, it's validating to you that you are doing what's best for baby girl and for mom. One just has to hope that birth mom isn't out there getting pregnant again.

  3. #3


    That is really good news. I hope everything keeps moving in the right direction.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

  4. #4


    Hope things continue to stay quiet until November when you can begin celebrating!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2011


    Great update Leah !! Praying things move quickly in your favor for permanency for your lo !
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels

  6. #6


    Wishing you the best of luck - that you get to adopt baby girl with no more hurdles or bumps in the road!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007


    Thinking of you Leah and hoping that things continue in the right direction for you guys!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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