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Thread: I need thoughts/advice X-posted in NMAMIG....

  1. #1

    Default I need thoughts/advice X-posted in NMAMIG....

    You all know what I have gone through since April 2012, with the last heartbreak being last Monday. I have had an offer from my sister that I would love to jump on(being that I can get dh on board). My sister has offered to be a surrogate for me, since my body just cannot handle being pg anymore. We would be using my eggs and dh's sperm, so the baby would be 100% us. You know what I mean. My sister has offered to pay for all of the costs,so all I would need to do is show up for all the visits and do what I need to do for the process. On one hand, I'm thinking heck yeah, am I stupid for even having doubts. Then on the other hand, I'm thinking that maybe GOD taking my precious babies is his way of telling me that I don't need another baby and I'm finished. I have not discussed it with my dh yet but know it will be doing a lot of convincing to get him on board. I am making an apt with my RE to talk with him and get his thoughts on surrogacy. I know nothing is wrong with dh or myself genetically, so we are ABLE to produce a healthy child, just me not carry it. What questions should I ask at that apt? What would you all do? Am I crazy for even considering this? I've talked with a friend and she says go for it. But I need others thoughts and opinions as well. I value your opinions and will appreciate any input ya'll have, whether it be good or bad.
    Missing my angels. Forever my babies. Gone but not forgotten! I will see you three again one day!!![/FONT]

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    3,541

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    What if God put in on your sister's heart to make this offer because it's what's she's able to do for you? Accepting help from others isn't neglecting God's wishes.
    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

  3. #3

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    You sound EXACTLY like my sister. Which makes it a no-brainer to do it. Then I start thinking again....
    Missing my angels. Forever my babies. Gone but not forgotten! I will see you three again one day!!![/FONT]

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,211

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    I just always go back to thinking that God answers prayers in his own way, not always the way we want or expect. If you pray for a baby, you expect to get pregnant, but this might be his way. In any case, think and pray about it and take your time making a decision.
    Angela (28) DH, Pat (30) DS Connor (4), DS Leo (2), DS Nathan



  5. #5

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    I always look to scripture for guidance. There are scenerio's of surragacy in scripture. If you need one sara, Abraham, and Hagar. Carefully think and pray about the choice. As for me I would never get over it if anything happened to my sister as a result of the pregnancy/birth. I know statistically maternal death is low but it does happen. Make sure that you both have thought through carefully. As for me there are so many children in need of being adopted I would rather go that route then surragacy. .

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by pants View Post
    I always look to scripture for guidance. There are scenerio's of surragacy in scripture. If you need one sara, Abraham, and Hagar. Carefully think and pray about the choice. As for me I would never get over it if anything happened to my sister as a result of the pregnancy/birth. I know statistically maternal death is low but it does happen. Make sure that you both have thought through carefully. As for me there are so many children in need of being adopted I would rather go that route then surragacy. .
    My first concern was her well being. We have already discussed all of that over and over again. And I'm sure we will continue. My dh will not even discuss adoption. I know there are millions of children out there that need loving parents but it's just not for us.
    Missing my angels. Forever my babies. Gone but not forgotten! I will see you three again one day!!![/FONT]

  7. #7

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    I am sure the decision is very difficult for many reasons. This book is a great book for Christians in general about a lot of current topics. http://www.amazon.com/Right-Thinking.../dp/B00472O3DM. There is a section on surrugacy from bible oerspective . The hardest part right now will be for you to take the emotion out of it and weight the choices both ways. . Maybe you can kindle the book.
    Quote Originally Posted by babypayne View Post
    My first concern was her well being. We have already discussed all of that over and over again. And I'm sure we will continue. My dh will not even discuss adoption. I know there are millions of children out there that need loving parents but it's just not for us.

  8. #8

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    Thank you! I just ordered the book and am waiting for it to arrive. I hope it helps.
    Missing my angels. Forever my babies. Gone but not forgotten! I will see you three again one day!!![/FONT]

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