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Thread: Feeling more agnostic as my life pans out

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    Default Feeling more agnostic as my life pans out

    I hope its okay to vent in here about a few things. I feel as though I have good morals and values but, I am started to feel pushed further and further away from religion. I was never brought up in a religious home but, my dad did go through a stage where he really wanted to be a part of church. My mother only went when it benefited her. He went to what I consider a modest not in your face type of church. I enjoy a non-denominational church myself but, I know I am contradicting myself when I say its really hard to follow a bible and that I find most of the bible is so far out there I would be lying to myself if I said I believe it all. This is the most confusing part of my life right now. I have a lot to be grateful for: The Habitat for Humanity they are a Christian Organization however, you do not have to be part of any religious group what so ever to qualify. They do not push beliefs on anyone IMO. My kids are healthy, smart, well behaved, and beautiful inside and out. I give back to to others that have less. Then, the dark side of all of this- those that have known my drama with my mother and her evil spiteful non-sense. The pity party that nags me : "What did I do to deserve this crap from her and cps coming out"? - findings: unsubstantiated still two more weeks or so when it close out. She has told the whole world lies about which will just build my case for when I am able to file for harassment. A friend copied and pasted a conversation my mom started with her on FB and forwarded it to me. Then I had an ex boyfriend "lecture" me about how I should forgive her and let her back into my life which I deleted and blocked him after I ripped him a new one. Those that always do good get hurt the most. Its unfair that people that are good parents lose babies, those that never smoked a day in their life get lung cancer from 2nd hand, a brand new baby is born that can't hear or see, people all over the world may not know where their next meal comes from, all of this awfulness that is the world makes me think "If there is God, where is he?".



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    those are big questions. I think in this room you will find that none of us have the answers, but we all share your sense of frustration.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Those were many of the questions that led me down this path. I do think that you should think hard about the possible ramifications, especially if you live in a community that is not particularly diverse from a religious perspective, or have family and friends that are religious/conservative. As freeing as this can be, you should be prepared for blowback.

    Good luck!

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    <hugs> I'm sorry you are so confused right now and going through such a hard time. Sometimes things just happen, with no reason.



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    You sound like you are in a difficult spot right now. I hope you can get to a place of equilibrium and peace, no matter what your family or friends say or do to try to make you feel bad. I have never believed so it was never an emotional issue for me. That must be hard. I will say that I would rather live in a world of random happenstance where there's no real explanation for the bad things that happen than a world governed by a god who would allow horrible things to happen to his "children". But again, it was never a choice and I don't believe that there is an all-knowing being involved in my day-to-day life who can decide whether good or bad will happen to me.

    A person's moral compass does not have to depend on a belief in God. It can, but it doesn't have to in order to still be a good person in the world.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


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    I am sorry that you are struggling right now and undersand your frustration. I think most of us have found ourselves asking the same/similar questions at some point in our lives. I hope that you come to a place where you are at peace with whatever those answers may bring

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    There are quite a few people who came to feeling agnostic after experiencing a series of doubts like you have been feeling. I was raised without religion so I cannot personally relate to the turmoil that you are facing, but I know it is difficult to re-evaluate a basic belief.

    As far as being able to be moral or to be a good person without religion, it is not necessary. Here is an example (probably more than you wanted to know) from the Council for Secular Humanists, for example:

    Secular humanists believe morality and meaning come from humanity and the natural world, not from God or the supernatural. It is our human values that give us rights, responsibilities, and dignity. We believe that morality should aim to bring out the best in people, so that all people can have the best in life. And morality must be based on our knowledge of human nature and the real world.

    Humanist and religious morality share many basic principles because in fact both are underpinned by the fundamental human moral sense summarized in the Golden Rule: treat others with the same consideration as you would have them treat you. Humanists recognize that the common moral decencies - for example, people should not lie, steal, or kill; and they should be honest, generous, and cooperative - really are conducive to human welfare.


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    For the longest time for me growing up, I wanted to badly to believe what everyone else around me seemed to believe. I tried really hard to be a good Christian and actually was quite a good one if I say so myself. But I slowly started to realize that the things that are taught in most churches are not something I can convince myself are true. I will not support any organisation that denies human rights to fellow human beings.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    There are quite a few people who came to feeling agnostic after experiencing a series of doubts like you have been feeling. I was raised without religion so I cannot personally relate to the turmoil that you are facing, but I know it is difficult to re-evaluate a basic belief.

    As far as being able to be moral or to be a good person without religion, it is not necessary. Here is an example (probably more than you wanted to know) from the Council for Secular Humanists, for example:
    This makes sense thanks.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    those are big questions. I think in this room you will find that none of us have the answers, but we all share your sense of frustration.
    I understand that probably nobody knows the answers to my questions I put them out there and I hoping that this is the right place for all of this.



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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    You sound like you are in a difficult spot right now. I hope you can get to a place of equilibrium and peace, no matter what your family or friends say or do to try to make you feel bad. I have never believed so it was never an emotional issue for me. That must be hard. I will say that I would rather live in a world of random happenstance where there's no real explanation for the bad things that happen than a world governed by a god who would allow horrible things to happen to his "children". But again, it was never a choice and I don't believe that there is an all-knowing being involved in my day-to-day life who can decide whether good or bad will happen to me.

    A person's moral compass does not have to depend on a belief in God. It can, but it doesn't have to in order to still be a good person in the world.
    Good advice! Thanks



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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Those were many of the questions that led me down this path. I do think that you should think hard about the possible ramifications, especially if you live in a community that is not particularly diverse from a religious perspective, or have family and friends that are religious/conservative. As freeing as this can be, you should be prepared for blowback.

    Good luck!
    My family on my father's side and to be honest the most trust worthy people aren't very religious a few might be believer but, its not in your face flaunted - kwim? On the flip side on my mother's side which she is out of my life but, my grandpa has his ideas and he isn't afraid to be "preachy". With all of that being said I am starting to become very numb with what anyone on my mother's side has to say about life. I am not meaning it as disrespect I just have to keep my sanity after everything I've been through with her. Our community as a whole is fairly religious there's a church everywhere around here but, most of the churches are not radical.



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    Just as an aside, I dated a really cute doctor once--very charming, and good at his job (those two don't go together very often)--who was also a wonderful cook. One time over a dinner of perfectly cooked stuffed chicken breasts after a squash soup (I remember that almost as much as his dimples and his charm) he talked to me about how he thought it was impossible to raise children to be moral without a strong religious background. We discussed this at length, but after he failed to see my side I realized the relationship was doomed. I probably should have realized the relationship was doomed after I found out he was sleeping with pretty much every unattached cute female in the hospital, too. Ah, memories.


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    [QUOTE=3andMe;1058801091]Just as an aside, I dated a really cute doctor once--very charming, and good at his job (those two don't go together very often)--who was also a wonderful cook. One time over a dinner of perfectly cooked stuffed chicken breasts after a squash soup (I remember that almost as much as his dimples and his charm) he talked to me about how he thought it was impossible to raise children to be moral without a strong religious background. We discussed this at length, but after he failed to see my side I realized the relationship was doomed. I probably should have realized the relationship was doomed after I found out he was sleeping with pretty much every unattached cute female in the hospital, too. Ah, memories.[/QUOTE]

    Isn't that ironic? Well truth be told he surely sounded like a hypocrite.



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