Are you having a beta done today? (((Hugs)))...praying for dropping levels !
No change today. I've stayed with light spotting-nothing on a pad, just when I have a BM-that's rust colored. No cramping AT ALL. I'll do another beta as soon as the lab opens tomorrow morning and see what that says. I talked with my OB yesterday. He said he's not really worried about the cysts other than the fact that there are two very well defined on one ovary. He said they both look like corpus luteum cysts with one looking "healthy" and the other not. So he worries that I released two eggs and both got caught, one is miscarrying and all the pain I had last week was that cyst breaking down/rupturing and that the other one is still healthy because there is a 2nd pregnancy. Not super common...but really none of my obstetric history is, so there you go He told me not to be surprised to see the HCG go back up with tomorrow's lab. The fact that it was 26 and then 15 is rather a fast decline considering I had positive tests between the two tests-on a digital no less. So I guess we'll see. I had to rearrange a few day trip plans I had with the girls for tomorrow because I'm not comfortable heading up into the hills on a hiking trip w/o any other adult and 4 hours away from the closest hospital. So I'm trying to be smart about this while also pushing ahead with life.
I was really thrown for an emotional loop yesterday afternoon. At the hospital John and I both agreed we were actually relieved at the probable outcome. We were in such a good place, able to say "I'm so glad we only have 2 kids" on our rough days without feeling horribly guilty over WHY we only have 2 kids, planning our life going forward with 2 kids, saving for a huge Europe trip with the girls for next summer, etc. And really, an IUP pregnancy is probably NOT the best outcome in our case. So we were ok, like really both felt relieved and ok. He went and got the girls from my mom's house and took them home to work from home while I went off to work. And I think putting on my happy face around all the guys at work-my dad and brother (who has been TTC with his wife for nearly 6 years now) included-just wore me down. About 4:30 I just kind of fell apart and realized I suddenly was NOT ok with the turn of events. I think the very tiny positive possibility of having a 3rd child in our home getting yanked away yet again just took a little while to trickle down to me. John told me he was feeling the same way and asked if I wanted to switch our savings goal to being for adoption instead since the $$ is about the same as for the trip we have planned. I really think that's not a decision we have to make right now. Doesn't matter what the goal is-the saving is the same process. And right now it would be an emotionally driven goal and not one that is necessarily a long-term drive. But it really threw me to be relieved and really truly fine and then suddenly not.
Today I'm ok. Not having any cramping at all and really not bleeding probably helps. We told the girls last night because when they got up and I wasn't home and John said I was at the hospital Scharae immediately asked if I was having another baby because the only times I've been at the hospital in their little lives has revolved around babies. Keira's response was "no, Scharae. She was spayed, remember?" So we did feel the need to tell them because they asked John over and over all afternoon where I was if I wasn't still at the hospital, why I had been there, etc. They seem to understand the idea of a pregnancy that is not likely to keep going so far, so that's good.
I imagine that what you are feeling is very normal. I'm still praying for you all.
So many hugs, Tif. I can only imagine how triggering this is after all you've been through.
This is MammaMia. I've lost my password.
Geez Tif, I'm just catching up. Huge hugs. I can only imagine what an emotional rollercoaster this whole process has been for you and will continue to be, one way or the other. I'm praying for you and your health, both physical and otherwise. Big big big big hugs!!!!!!
Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Oh wow Tif, I am just seeing this. I am sending lots of love and HUGS.
Oh my, you're just on a huge wave of emotions over the last few days. I don't think there's probably a single one of us that wouldn't be thinking and feeling the same things and I'm glad that you (although probably feeling every feeling in the book and thought) are able to say its not a decision that needs to be made right away!!
LOVE the spayed comment... and thinking of you!!!
Peaking in for any updates. Thinking of u guys.
No updates. Had another beta drawn this morning. The lab lady looked and said because of the fact that it's not a routine beta but one that's connected with a possibly more serious condition it isn't set to automatically email me. She isn't able to change that. So she told me about when the OB office should have the results back and told me a few different options for how to get the results instead of sitting through the weekend wondering.
I have no cramping at all today, still. Wednesday I had very slight cramping and light spotting. If I hadn't got the positives I would have thought "ok, period is on the way" and by today it would be my heavy day with BAD cramps. Nope. No cramps, the spotting is still light-I have a liner in "just in case" because I figure it's fairly inevitable that at some point I will start bleeding heavily. But as of now there's nothing ever on it, just on the TP when I wipe and even then it's more of a watery pink/rust so...
Thinking of you honey. I hope you're able to get the Beta results before EOD.
Karen (28), DF (28), DD (3), DS (2 months)
Beanpop's Fluffy Butt Diapers *GRAND RE-OPENING 3/13*
Still thinking of you and praying.
Hope you hear something soon.
Down to 9 and I just move from spotting/no flow to a pretty good flow, although it looks more see-thru than my typical period flow, if that makes sense. Less opaque. No cramping though. The nurse I just called said that I should be pretty safe to consider myself out of the "ectopic watch" phase but that I still need to watch for crazy pain and hemorrhaging just because that can happen with any miscarriage.
Relieved to know and not spend all weekend waiting to see what's going on. And pissed at the situation. I just can't get over how hard we have tried to not get pregnant. And so if we did it should mean something, be "meant to be" and it isn't, at all.
i'm so sorry.
I'm sorry Tif.