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Thread: These people are driving me crazy!

  1. #1
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    Default These people are driving me crazy!

    Well today was kind of crazy. Still having some major concerns with our CASA. She called today for the first time in 6 weeks and apologized and apologized for not speaking with me since court...then she said and I quote "I know absolutely nothing about this case and what's going on lately." That was encouraging. Then she said. "I'm required to see the baby every 30 days and am in trouble because I haven't seen her in 6 weeks." So she came to the "visit" at DSS. She was there about 30 seconds, said she just needed to officially see her and basically make sure she's alive and that she had to go because she was on her other job's time. I know she's busy with a new job and all, but it seems to me like she just doesn't have time to be a CASA right now.

    Also at our "visit" with the fictive kin grandmother we've been having all of these issues with...she didn't show again. This was the second time in a row. I wish they'd just quit this charade already. She's had 12 opportunities for visits, so that's 12 times that we've been there and she's only made it to 3. For some of those another petitioner was there for the visit so at least it wasn't a wasted trip for us. But now that it's just this one lady it's a huge wasted trip. It's a good 30 minutes away for us and it's always during baby girl's nap time.

    Also there's an update on mom. She was calling the CASA twice a week to ask when she could get visits back, and I'm sure she was calling the SW too. No one has heard from her now since court in April. Apparently they've tried all of her numbers and they're all disconnected. So no one has seen or heard from her in quite a while. I hate that I feel a little relieved that she isn't so actively pursuing everyone but it does...I mean she's a sweet lady and her situation sucks and it is sad, but more than likely she'll never be well enough to care for this baby and I'd hate for her to go back only to end up back in care again. I'm so glad that we decided to do this and we got our sweet baby girl, but these people drive me nuts sometimes. This lady not showing up acts like it's a big game or something and doesn't seem to have any idea how rude it is to not show. she's supposedly raised 20 kids from babies so how does she not remember with all those kids how hard it is to take a 6 month old baby 30 miles to a visit no one shows for in the middle of their nap time? Ugh! Anyway, so annoying. I wish she'd just give it up so we'd quit having to go through this every other week.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  2. #2
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    I know it has to be so frustrating! I hope that she drops out completely and soon. My hopes are so high now that ya'll will end up with this baby girl. I know the waiting for the other shoe to drop has got to be so exhausting.

    Amanda - 28 (Proud Single Mama)

  3. #3
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    Fingers crossed that they drop the visits soon and get going on termination. I hate how the system leaves things in limbo so long when it's obvious that termination and permanent adoption is the best thing for the child.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Fingers crossed that they drop the visits soon and get going on termination. I hate how the system leaves things in limbo so long when it's obvious that termination and permanent adoption is the best thing for the child.
    ^^^ this!

    (((Hugs)))!!! Praying this comes to a head soon and her case plan becomes adoption !!!!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Fingers crossed that they drop the visits soon and get going on termination. I hate how the system leaves things in limbo so long when it's obvious that termination and permanent adoption is the best thing for the child.
    I agree! She's mised 9/12 visits yet they keep having you waste your time to go to them? Ridiculous.

  6. #6
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    They leave it all in limbo for SO long! It'll drive you nuts. They called yesterday and told me they got in contact with her and she said she "forgot". It's so nice to know that she forgot to visit the child that she's considering taking for the next 18 years. If she can forget that I'm sure she can forget to pick her up at school and forget her birthday and forget many many important things. I mean forgetting to see a child you're thinking of adopting? That's beyond ridiculous. There just aren't any words for that. Anyway, they said next time they told her the visit is at 2 as usual but they want me to come at 2:30 so they can call if she isn't there on time. That's nice to know at least. I hope she doesn't show and just stops this stupid charade. It's already been a month since she last remembered to show up. And the next visit is the week after next so that'll be five weeks. Baby girl sat up by herself today a few times for a while. She's also going to be crawling any minute. Is up on her hands and knees and rocking back and forth. So by the time she sees her again she's be a baby that does not want to be held. She also cried at the "visit" when the ladies in the office passed her around for some snuggles. She wouldn't calm down until they gave her back to me. That made me feel loved.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  7. #7
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    Awww Leah you are an amazing momma...she is doing so well !!!

    In ds' s case notes it says that he cried through the entire two visits his bmom showed up for. He was 9 and 10 months old and had never even stayed with anyone else other than his fmom. Bmom never showed after that and was eventually incarcerated again so his case plan changed back to adoption. Within a few months we were matched .

    Limbo stinks !!! Praying for you and for permanency (in your home) for baby girl (((hugs)))!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  8. #8

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    I almost wonder if Grandma is doing this on purpose so that you have a better chance of getting her? She already started the petition, so maybe in her mind she thinks that not showing will make them see you are the better option for her? Yes? No? I don't know, but it seems strange that she just doesn't show after all that talk with you.

    Whatever it may be, I hope baby girl can stay with you forever and ever.
    Mommy to Lilliana (10/2006) & Summer (10/2011)!




  9. #9
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    I think Grandma just thinks she has more power than she does or something. I think she's a nice lady but her actions really confuse me. She talks about how bad they want a relationship with her then never show up for one. She talks about how much her brother wants to see her and wants her to live with them, but she only brought him to one visit and he's welcome to any of them. I told her I'd keep bringing her updated pictures for them to take home and I'm surprised they didn't even show up to get those. I gave them pics the last time I saw them. The Grandma didn't look at them. She just handed them straight to baby girl's brother and said "well there ya go", and then he looked at them. I kind of think she might want to keep it going because it makes her feel special or something. She thinks it's between us or her no matter what, and she may be right but that's not how DSS sees it. She acts like if we don't get her she will and she'll never go to dad or mom. And again, she's probably right but acting that way in front of DSS isn't the best thing. They want people who will be respectful to the plan in place and she's definitely not. I guess they probably see the same red flags I do. She's just acting like it's a game or something.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  10. #10

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    I can just imagine how frustrating this whole process is!! It's sad that the only other person "interested in her well being" apparently isn't interested enough. What an amazing blessing it is that this baby girl wound up with a family who will cherish her every moment. I wish there was some way to know it would all work out for you in the end. It sure seems like she will be staying with you forever, but I can understand having to have your guard up. You two are incredibly strong people and I, along with so many others here, am praying like crazy that baby girl stays with you and this leads to adoption!
    ~Andrea~


  11. #11
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    Natalie [31] DH [40] 9/01, 1/06 NaturallyNatalie's Hair Accessories!

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