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Thread: Feel like Giving up

  1. #1

    Default Feel like Giving up

    So I posted this already in the "Christian" forum but I was thinking that here may be a little more appropriate because this thread spot is about being natural so yeah.


    Hi,
    I'm new here and currently 27 weeks pregnant. My husband and I want to have a natural birth at home not in a hospital. And I feel like we are losing the battle to have this be a possibility. We went to several midwifes and got rejected because of my blood pressure so I changed my diet and started using coconut oil and got my blood pressure down to a normal one. Then tried to go again with other midwifes but we kept getting rejected then the only one that took me now wants to transfer me to a hospital because I don't fit into her box and says that my weight is an issue. I am healthy though she had said multiple times that I'm healthy. I have put myself on a very strict diet for baby and me. We are at a loss and feel like giving up and just having it in a hospital. But I don't want to do that. The other option is to have it ourselves and that scares me. We could just use direction on where we are supposed to go. If anyone has any advice or encouragement that would be great.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Toeing the edge between sanity and insanity
    Posts
    30,589

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    I am going to move this thread to the Expecting in General room-you will get more responses there. We no longer have a dedicated Natural Birth forum but the ladies on here are pretty good about seeing this nature of thread in there.

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  3. #3

    Default

    Where are you located? Maybe I can help. I'm a doula, but I network with birth professionals nationwide. If you are ok with me sharing this information, I may be able to find a midwife willing to help you. Friend me on facebook, and we can go from there. I'm sorry you are being met with so much resistance. A lot of it has to do with how midwifery is regulated in certain states. They have to follow certain rules to avoid losing their license. There are options though most of the time. I'm Mary Jane Gillis on facebook.
    Mary Jane, doula and mom of Vada, Brynna, Tea, Moira, Kyan, Ambria, Aslan, and Anakin.
    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    2,347

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    I'm sorry you're finding frustration in getting the birth experience you want. (PS. Good for you for taking control of your diet and health when they pointed out specifics of their concerns!) I hope your health permits you (and you can find a midwife) that will help make it a reality. I delivered my first in a hospital so I have no advice about home births or where to go, but I just wanted to offer you some encouragement.
    Rae (27), DH (26), Lucas (6/3/12), Amelia (12/13/13)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    1,869

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    Hi and congrats on your pregnancy. I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time finding a midwife. I'm planning a home birth myself, so I totally get why having the baby at home is such a priority for you. I hope Mary Jane is able to help you find someone. Sometimes the rules/regulations for homebirth are very different just a state over. If you are within an hour or two of another state, maybe you could find a midwife who would travel to you. If not, and you end up needing a hospital birth, I would recommend getting a doula who could advocate for you and help you reach your goal of having the most natural birth possible.
    Also, since there is no natural birth/homebirth board on this site, I often visit the NUMCB and Homebirth boards over at baby center. The ladies over there are very helpful!

    Good luck! Try not to stress too badly, you still have time!

  6. #6

    Default

    Oh ok thanks yeah I wasn't too sure where to put it.

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MaryJane View Post
    Where are you located? Maybe I can help. I'm a doula, but I network with birth professionals nationwide. If you are ok with me sharing this information, I may be able to find a midwife willing to help you. Friend me on facebook, and we can go from there. I'm sorry you are being met with so much resistance. A lot of it has to do with how midwifery is regulated in certain states. They have to follow certain rules to avoid losing their license. There are options though most of the time. I'm Mary Jane Gillis on facebook.
    Oh wow that is what I want to hear lol. thank you soo much I will find you on facebook. I'm located in WY. Thank you soo much!!

  8. #8

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rae_1478 View Post
    I'm sorry you're finding frustration in getting the birth experience you want. (PS. Good for you for taking control of your diet and health when they pointed out specifics of their concerns!) I hope your health permits you (and you can find a midwife) that will help make it a reality. I delivered my first in a hospital so I have no advice about home births or where to go, but I just wanted to offer you some encouragement.
    Aww thanks for the encouragement and I just found out that I can get to this thread here So I also responded to you in the other one haha. Thanks yeah the midwifes I spoke with they pointed out their concerns for my health and they were kinda like oh well your health is going to only get worse and you can't change it.

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kmrk336 View Post
    Hi and congrats on your pregnancy. I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time finding a midwife. I'm planning a home birth myself, so I totally get why having the baby at home is such a priority for you. I hope Mary Jane is able to help you find someone. Sometimes the rules/regulations for homebirth are very different just a state over. If you are within an hour or two of another state, maybe you could find a midwife who would travel to you. If not, and you end up needing a hospital birth, I would recommend getting a doula who could advocate for you and help you reach your goal of having the most natural birth possible.
    Also, since there is no natural birth/homebirth board on this site, I often visit the NUMCB and Homebirth boards over at baby center. The ladies over there are very helpful!

    Good luck! Try not to stress too badly, you still have time!
    Thank you for your response. Thanks I'm so happy about my pregnancy . I hope that you get the birth you want as well. Yeah midwifery just became legal in my state I think 2010 or something. Yeah I was thinking about getting a doula if I end up in a hospital but yeah. Aww ok thanks for the advice I will have to check out the NUMCB and the stuff and the baby center.

    Thanks so much for your encouragement!!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    9,437

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    MaryJane...you are awesome !!!!!

    Supertoast...praying you have a beautiful, perfect home-birth (I've had 5 planned home-births...delivered 4 at home and chose to transfer during labor with one).
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






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