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Thread: childcare question

  1. #1

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    Hi All -

    I am not really secular, I was raised Catholic and do believe in God. DH is Jewish, and we chose to baptize our kids Episcopal because it was more in line with our values. But we are both skeptical of people who are very vocal about their religion and can't deal at all with the preachy BS that comes with it. So now I am interviewing new nannies, and I just realized that a candidate I like has the following email address: nameluvschrist@yahoo.com So, would that be a deal-breaker for you? She has great credentials otherwise, but I kinda figure that someone with that email address may not be able to keep her beliefs out of her professional life.

  2. #2
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    It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, though it would put me off on first impression. I'd probably give her the benefit of the doubt and at least meet her to see what kind of vibe she gives off.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, though it would put me off on first impression. I'd probably give her the benefit of the doubt and at least meet her to see what kind of vibe she gives off.
    I agree with this. I may ask her straight out if she can separate her religion from her childcare and make it clear you are not looking for any religious teachings or preachings
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  4. #4

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    I am not secular either but I do have a problem with constant preaching. But I agree with PP. I would ask her outright.

    Did you hear back from that preschool teacher?
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  5. #5

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    I think I'd ask, too, if you really like everything else about her. But I admit that it would be an immediate turn-off for me, as it's hard to imagine a person who puts that in their email being someone who doesn't proselytize in some fashion.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  6. #6

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    It would be a turnoff for me. If she was stellar in every other way, I guess I would have to have a talk with her about not trying to bring it into the childcare situation.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  7. #7

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    I'm with everyone else that it would put a flag for me and I would need to ask straight out if she brought religion into the childcare scene.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by tanyachap View Post
    I am not secular either but I do have a problem with constant preaching. But I agree with PP. I would ask her outright.

    Did you hear back from that preschool teacher?
    Not yet. She asked for a couple days, and I told her to take a week or two. I figure I just have to press on in the meantime. Still keeping my fingers crossed. It is such a hard process!

  9. #9

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    I'd be skeptical about it. BUT keep in mind that depending on her age, most kids make their first email address in middle school or so and often don't change it until sometime in college when it becomes a professionalism issues (resumes and such). So there's always the possibility that she was really religious when she was 13, but not so much 5 years later.

    Hope that makes sense. Good luck!

  10. #10

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    I'm not religious at all, although I do believe in a higher power. To be perfectly honest I would have hit "Next" as soon as I saw her email address.

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    I would hit "Next" also, immediately. Our kids go to a preschool that has no religious affiliations, but our favorite teacher there is highly involved in her church and the director was a former minister. I have no issues with that at all. There are two different things at work here, though. The email address suggests she will proselytize, since she is proclaiming her beliefs to anyone that she has to give that information to, whether it is random companies or a parent at a park.

    This kind of account is bound to cause some thought on the reader's part, so if it is intentional, she is deliberately trying to make people think about it or spark conversations.

    If it is not intentional, it shows a lack of professionalism, not far removed from other people who use lifestyle choices in work email accounts, like nameloves420@hotmail.com. Not comparing the two lifestyles, of course, just that neither is appropriate for professional use of email addresses.

    I would think that even if asked, she might have a hard time being consciously open about how unaffected her daily conversation and teaching is about her relationship with her religion, if she is so interconnected with it that she has it as part of her email address.


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    I wouldn't mind at all as long as she wasn't pushy about it. You can interview her and see how well she does with your kids. I feel like as long as my kids enjoy their provider and are safe that is the top priority.
    Last edited by hotpinkmomma0811; 05-12-2013 at 09:19 AM.



  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marcie View Post
    Not yet. She asked for a couple days, and I told her to take a week or two. I figure I just have to press on in the meantime. Still keeping my fingers crossed. It is such a hard process!
    It is a very hard process. Have you met this girl or you just like her on paper so far?
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by tanyachap View Post
    It is a very hard process. Have you met this girl or you just like her on paper so far?
    I just like her on paper, and from her email response (before I actually saw the email address). I have a phone interview with her tomorrow and plan to ask her right off the bat about it. DH has said over his dead body, but I figure I might as well have a short conversation with her, just so I can confirm I'm not passing on someone great. I suspect she is looney!

  15. #15
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    I've lnown people with their entire cars plastered with religious paraphernalia that were not at all pushy about it in person. So, I would definitely give her a fair shake. Someone that actually follows the words of Christ (instead of just paying lip service) might have lots of personality traits that would be quite desirable in a caregiver.

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I've lnown people with their entire cars plastered with religious paraphernalia that were not at all pushy about it in person. So, I would definitely give her a fair shake. Someone that actually follows the words of Christ (instead of just paying lip service) might have lots of personality traits that would be quite desirable in a caregiver.
    I agree with Suja. My DH will say something to the effect what your DH said but I know 2 people in my moms group who are very active in their church but not pushy or prechy in person at all. They never prosphetize the non believers in the group. In fact, both of them would be on the top of my list for childcare givers if I needed it and they were available.
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  17. #17

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    One other thing to consider is how long ago she acquired that e-mail address. It may have been a phase. Did you know I once had the e-mail address of "ashmashter@<xxxxxx>.com? (I'd just seen Margaret Cho do a comedy routine where she riffed on something like that.) Some people pick an e-mail address without much consideration, and end up sticking with because they're too lazy or tech-timid to change it.

    I think it wouldn't hurt to ask her. Does she have references who could give you a clearer picture? I hope you find a nanny that works out for you, Linds.

  18. #18

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    I couldn't go through with the interview - DH was so adamantly opposed to it, I didn't want to waste her time, so I cancelled. Thanks for all the advice, secular ladies!

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