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Thread: Don't know how to feel :(

  1. #1

    Default Don't know how to feel :(

    I've been trying to decide whether to put this on here or not but I'm really struggling with it so I feel like I have to..
    I had a miscarriage or chemical pregnancy just last week after only being 4 weeks pregnant.. I have my good days but I'm also having alot of hard days especially with Mother's Day coming this weekend I don't know how I'm suppose to feel this was my first pregnancy so I don't have any kids so my question is how am I suppose to feel this Mother's Day? I know I have a baby in heaven but I'm so lost on how to feel about it here.. I know I'm not a moma in the same sense that alot of you are that have kids or have had later miscarriages my heart breaks for all of y'all's losses no matter what stage I'm just wondering if I'm even counted in my own mind and heart as a mother this weekend since I only had my baby for such a short short time

  2. #2


    I'm so sorry for you loss . A loss is a loss no matter how far along you were, of course you're counted. I think that it isn't how you should feel... it needs to be how you DO feel... However you feel is how you should feel, they are your personal feelings and they are valid.

  3. #3


    That's a really tough place to be in. I experienced my first loss nearly 8 weeks ago, so I understand the kind of pain and sadness you're going through. I feel very fortunate that I "already" had two wonderful boys before this loss; I think that really helps with the sadness. That said, I think you start feeling like a mother the moment you get that BFP. So while I wouldn't expect anyone else to recognize your state of motherhood this holiday, I think you can acknowledge it in your heart. It was the same when I was pregnant with my first son. I was pregnant over Mother's Day and totally felt like I could participate in it, but no one else really saw it that way.

  4. #4


    You feel however you want to and not how you should. It's good to recognize those feelings as they'll help you as you heal. And it's never easy to lose a LO at any stage. So sorry for your loss. Many hugs sent your way!
    Angela, Andrew & Nicholas

    Three sweet angels in heaven

  5. #5


    Thank you so much for your replies!! I also don't feel like it would or should be recognized by anyone else I just didn't know if I should even let myself feel anything this Mother's Day.. Your replies have helped me tho!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2011


    ! I think it's hard to know how to feel sometimes too...(((hugs))). Let yourself feel what's in your soul to feel...I know in my soul that my babies aren't gone forever they're just not with me right now...someday we'll be together. I'm their mama here and they're my babies there...we're together in spirit even though we can't be together physically. Does that make sense?

    Thinking of you and praying for peace and comfort for you !

  7. #7


    Thanks Kelly that makes perfect sense to me! I feel the same way!

    And I hope and pray the same for you!!

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