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Thread: WWYD-Playground fight

  1. #1

    Default WWYD-Playground fight

    The other day I went to pick up my daughter from school and I took my 3 year old son with me so they could play on the playground at the school for an hour or so before dinner. Out of nowhere an older brother of one her friends punched my 3 year old son in the stomach. He started to cry and walk towards me. Then the kid who was around 5 ran full speed behind him and shoved him face down into the mulch! I ran to my son, picked him up, and yelled at the kid "Why did you do that???? You don't go pushing people down!" The kid mumbled a half hearted "sorry" all snotty like and then walked over to his mom, who was pretty far away but I'm sure saw and heard the whole thing because then all she did was glare at me!

    I was SOOOOOOOOOOO mad! My son was just standing there watching the kids play and this little jerk not only punched him out of the blue, but then shoved him to the ground! Then the jerky kid started yelling "hey lemonhead" whatever that means to my son! I walked over to him and asked him who he was talking to. He didn't answer and I told him "Well, I don't want you saying that to my son. That's not a nice thing to say."

    The mom was GLARING at me the entire time but said or did nothing! I would be mortified and if my kids ever did that! We would be apologizing and leaving the playground immediately! Oh, and his dad is a local cop and he acts like that!

    Did I overreact??? Dh says I should just let it go, which I am, but I'm still so mad at that kid! He's a bully and his mom does nothing!
    Any advice or words of wisdom for me? Thanks ladies!

    Hugs,
    Lisa

  2. #2

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    I would be pissed!!!! I would have nicely talked to the mom and said something like "boys, huh? they're so different then girls. He kind of hurt my son by punching him and pushing him down,....I'm not sure if you saw it but I'm just making you aware. I hope he doesn't do that again or to other kids, (blah blah or something like that....honeslty, Im not good at confrontation at all).

    On the opposite end, my son is a very active and aggressive at times (he likes to hug NICELY ....but hug TIGHTLY if you know what I mean). If my son would have punched someone or pushed someone down, I would have immediately went and checked on the kid (and disciplined my child) and talked/apologized to the mother. For her to glare at you is not right.

  3. #3
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    I would have went straight to the parent. That's not only unacceptable, but really mean. I would want my child to see that that type of behavior is never okay and won't be tolerated.

    Something similar happened to us at the beach. My son was playing, he is 3 also, in the water and this boy around 5 yo pushes him down into the water. Okay first strike. A couple minutes later, the boy picks up a huge rock and throws it point blank right in my sons face. He had a gash on his face and everything. DH picked ds up and went straight to the father and showed him my sons bloody face. The dad (who wasn't watching his kids at all) was appalled and apologized and kept the boy out. DH was soooooooo pissed and so was I. I just could not believe that actually happened.

  4. #4
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    Oh man I would have been furious! Poor guy!

    I would have done 1 of 2 things - either moved away and totally avoided the boy and the mother and explained to ds that what he did wasn't nice, etc. Or I would have confronted the mother. It really would have depended on how I was feeling that day
    Thing 1 (8), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  5. #5

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    I would have been pissed. What kind of mother would just have watched that?? I would have apologized thousand of times!

  6. #6

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    I dont think you overreacted. Not at all. I would have been pissed. Not sure what I would have done
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  7. #7
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    Woah, I would have been furious, especially at the mother's reaction! I am not a person who likes confrontation. I avoid it when at all possible. But if that had happened the momma bear in me probably would have come out and I would have said something to the mother. I know its normal when children play WITH each other for it to get physical because they don't have the maturity to express themselves well and they are still learning how to negotiate conflict. But it is completely different for an older child to physically assault a smaller child who wasn't even playing with or around them. Not even close to ok!

    I'm so sorry you both went through that!

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    I may have been escorted to jail after confronting the parent. BUT as a mom who *IS* trying to set a positive example, I would have spoken to the other mom. And maybe not even lightly, but sternly said that her son who is bigger than yours hurt your son for no reason.

    That is awful.
    Phoebe Grace 6-22-11; 37.5" and 26.2# at 2 years old! She is my wild child!
    Me & Geoff, 40; DD Phoebe, our June Bug

  9. #9

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    I tend to deal with the kid directly if the parent isn't parenting. I figure if they knew how to handle it appropriately they already would have. So I go up to the kid, I say "We don't hit. That hurt a little kid. That was very unkind of you. Please go play somewhere else." with my mommy voice on. It has always worked so far. I even scare the crap out of the middle school kids in the neighborhood, and I am pretty soft-spoken...

  10. #10
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    Wow. I'm mad for you! I'd be absolutely furious!
    I can remember being in 3rd or 4th grade and a boy in my grade hurt my little brother on the playground, on purpose. My mom told me to take my two brothers and go away. I don't know what she said or did to the kid, but I think it took every ounce of restraint she had not to put her hands on him. I'd never seen her so mad.

  11. #11

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    Wow, I can't believe the mom didn't do anything. I guess that's how bullies are made. Ime, if the parents aren't going to address it when it's right there in front of them they aren't likely to do anything if you confront them either except get snotty. I address the kids myself. Like PP, I just tell them that they aren't playing nicely so they need to go play somewhere else. In our old neighborhood the little kids would play in the culdesac and some older boys from the next street over would come over. They would get rough and one day they started scaring the little kids by acting like they were going to hit them with sticks and a baseball bat. I went out and took all sticks and bats away. I told them to go home and not come back if they couldn't behave. I still have that baseball bat. We took it with us when we moved.
    Mary Jane, doula and mom of Vada, Brynna, Tea, Moira, Kyan, Ambria, Aslan, and Anakin.
    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

  12. #12

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    I would have had a hard time not saying something to the mom if I knew she definitely witnessed it. If I wasn't sure, I'd just say something to the kid along the lines of what you said, and make sure to keep my son away from him after that. But if I was sure the mom noticed and didn't say something, I'd mention it to her. I'm generally very nonconfrontational and "nice," but I think in a situation like that I'd be mad enough to be pretty sarcastic and direct. I'd probably say something I'd regret later, like "Hey, do you guys play here often? Maybe you could let me know your usual times, so we can avoid being here. Seriously, you're not even going to say anything about the fact that your kid punched my much younger kid, shoved him down, and is calling him names?"

    Did you mention that this boy is the brother of a friend of your daughter? Awkward. Have you talked to the mom before? If you're likely to see her again, that makes it even worse on her part that she doesn't even care to smooth out something heinous like that. Maybe there's something wrong with her and that's the reason her kid's such a jerk.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  13. #13

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    Thanks for all the helpful replies ladies! Pepperlru, yes, I know the mom. Not real well but through playdates and birthday parties. She's always been very friendly with me so I was kind of shocked that she didn't say a word to her son and gave ME the evil eye! Ugh. Why can't kids just play nice and make it easy for the parents! LOL!

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