Hey all! Just wanted to share something real quick. Today at visitation, I got to meet baby girl's older brother! I was SO nervous about it. I mean I was a wreck all last week and this week waiting for today because I was so nervous to see him and to deal with this. I knew he was autistic, and working with autistic kids in the past, I was worried about behavior. Of course, they're all different, but I just didn't know what to expect. I get so tired of showing up to visitation being afraid I'll upset someone without meaning to.

However, it went VERY well. He's a sweetie. Very calm and seems very gentle and shy. He talked to me though and smiled at me a lot and seemed comfortable talking to me. I made sure to include him in our conversation once I knew he was comfortable with that. His grandma (the one petitioning for custody) told me that she just thinks we're the best place for baby girl, and that she's been talking to her husband and to baby girl's brother about it. I think it helped him to meet me.

When I went back to pick baby girl up, grandma said that her brother said he thought I was a really nice lady and he really liked me. I think that helps them feel more comfortable with the possibility of us adopting and continuing a relationship. We'd been talking earlier about how baby girl is saying "baba" and I know she's only 5 months but I really think she's saying bottle. Well, grandma told me that when I left she was saying another sound. She said that she said "mamamamama" over and over again the whole time I was gone. That she was missing her mamma. And she meant me. She seemed proud of it. She did say last week that she would hate to take her from us and cause her pain at losing the only parents she's ever known and that she didn't want to cause us pain either. I was wondering if she meant it, but I think she does.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much because she could always change her mind. Right now though she seems pretty firm on letting her stay with us. She said today if she knew they'd leave her with us that she would back off entirely and leave well enough alone. I don't see her going to mom or dad since neither one of them are doing anything. Mom isn't working a plan at all and hasn't even tried to as far as I know in over 3 months now (since day 1) and dad has made it clear what he thinks. So...I don't know. Feels like there's hope!