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Thread: Out of character incidents....

  1. #1

    Default Out of character incidents....

    I witnessed something my daughter did today that was so far out of character, I was shocked and wanted some input!

    I just want to start by saying that she is 5 and has honestly never been aggressive (even in the slightest) to anyone, would never intentionally hurt someone. Our neighbours have an indoor cat (kitten) who often stands at their glass sliding door, looking outside. We see this cat through the glass and say hi to it all the time. My daughter is a HUGE animal lover, she loves all kinds of animals, insects, any creature really, just loves them! She didn't know I was watching her and she made these gestures to the kitten- first she scowled at it, then pointed at the cat like she was saying 'YOU!' then pointed to her mouth, her mouth open wide, as if she was going to eat it! Then rubbed her stomach like she was saying 'mmmm' THEN, did two thumbs up. (She's been doing that when she eats something she really likes) basically, she was taunting this cat, 'telling' it she was going to eat it. Obviously the cat had no idea, but my DD doesn't know that, I dont think?

    If somebody told me they saw her do this, I wouldn't have believed them in a hundred years. Not her, she is too sweet and loves animals too much to do that, especially kittens!!! I asked her what she said to the kitten, and she was shocked that I noticed and said 'how did you see me do that?' and got very embarrassed. I really didn't know what to say to her?

    I'm worried she has a mean streak?

    Any thoughts? Would you be concerned if your child did this? Do you think I should bring it up again?

  2. #2

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    I am so sorry but that made me laugh! That sounds more like theatrics than aggression. I would not be concerned at all. Your daughter sounds like a gentle soul.

  3. #3

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    I agree with Bridget. Also, just a thought, have you ever played any "I'm gonna eat you!" type of games? We have with DD, and I know other parents have too. Not where we threaten to really eat her, it's all silliness, involving some tickles and things like, "I've got to eat those cheeks! They look so delicious!" and going "Nom nom nom," while pretending to eat her... No one would ever mistake it for a real threat to eat someone, but a child might play out the "eat you" games a little differently, I suppose. Even if you haven't done a game like that with your DD, she could easily have seen it played with another little kid.


  4. #4

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    Sounds totally normal to me. I second it doesn't sound aggressive at all. It sounds silly.
    We also play those sort of games with the kids where completely deadpanned we tell them we are going to eat them and make pretend eating noises on their arms/bellys etc. The kids find it hilarious.
    I'd say it's more of that she's getting old enough to realize she can be the initiator of that type of playacting. It always throws me off when I see DS (4) doing that type of thing - but it's more because I'm not used to him being able to 'pretend' so well since before he was so young and developmentally couldn't be anything BUT genuine. And I could totally see her being embarrassed about it, especially if it's not a game she normally sees you play.

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  5. #5
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    I agree with the other ladies, too. It sounds very much like play acting and she was embarrassed that you saw because she was being very silly.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I am so sorry but that made me laugh! That sounds more like theatrics than aggression. I would not be concerned at all. Your daughter sounds like a gentle soul.
    I agree - while I am sure it was disturbing to you the visual is too hysterical! I am sure she is fine. Perhaps she is just modeling something she saw on a cartoon or something? It sounds kind of "cartoonish" to me. I have been worried about a mean streak in DD2 because she will do things to her sister or say things that make me wonder if she somehow wants to see one of her sisters in a bad way. I do think it's normal.
    Thing 1 (7), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  7. #7
    midgetlb6 Guest

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    I agree to an extent, although you know your child and know she wouldn't hurt a fly some people in today's world would try to insinuate she is going to grow up to be a bully and are quick to wanna start trouble over something so innocent. It is horrible what this society has come to, but when you see this on TV they take back to the younger years saying oh this child use to torcher and taunt gentle animals when he was a child that should have been a sign, where were the parents, yada yada, KWIM . I think she was play acting and being silly but some other people in this world might say different and we as parents have to be mindful. Ill give you a classic example growing up we played cowboys and Indians we had stick guns and stick arrows we chase each other n say bang bang no biggie and we'd beller like an Indian, well I have a 4 year old daughter we play chase and cowboys and Indians (she has older brothers) so she's playing out side with her boy cousins she's the only girl and she has a stick and chasing her cousin saying bang bang, her uncle right away jumps up and says you know if she does that in school with other kids she'll get in trouble for making threats and acting like she's going to shoot someone. My jaw dropped but I told DH if he's thinking like that then other parents who don't know our games will also think the same way, it sucks but it's true.

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    We play the "I am going to eat you" games all the time. I would not be surprised if my kids did that (and they have actually - with other humans, toys and animals). I would not worry at all. Plus, at some point, kids will make the connection that we actually eat animals (assuming you are not vegetarian or vegan). We get pork from a local farm where we visit the animals all the time. Our farmer is not getting any more pigs because she is going to do something else. DD just asked this last time "Where are the piggies?" Well, the only answer I had was "We ate them." She looked at me like "are you for real?" but it is the truth.

  9. #9

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    Have to say made me laugh too it sounds like silliness, not agression. You know your daughter, sounds like she is a sweetie. Try to view the incident with dd's personality in mind, not as something out of character, but in.

    As an aside, I do believe we all have a "mean streak" it really is just a matter of how we act on it. And if she was feeling agressive/frustrated/mad, and the way she dealt with it was by making faces at a cat an pretending to eat it, I think she is doing ok.

  10. #10

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    Guilty of laughing, also! Probably just pretending. I, personally, wouldn't read too much into it.
    Julie (Mom of 3)

  11. #11
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    Yup, I don't think it's a big deal. Our 3 year old was asking about our 1 year old yesterday (he has a broken left femur and is in a cast) and then proceeded to tell me that he wanted his brother to have 2 broken legs not just one. It freaked me out at first, but I don't think he understands exactly what a broken bone is and what he is saying. I think he just likes the green cast and wanted it to be all the way down on both legs, lol.
    Angela (28) DH, Pat (30) DS Connor (4), DS Leo (2), DS Nathan



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    I agree with everyone else. I think she was just being silly.
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  13. #13

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    Sounds like totally normal pretend play to me. I wouldn't worry about it at all. My little brother used to tie a rope to the door knob and try to "drag his horse into the house." He would boss it around and shake his fist at it. He's the gentlest person I've ever known. Kids just pretend play. It's good for them.
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  14. #14

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    Okay ladies! Thank you for reassuring me! Dh feels the same way you all do. He thought it was hilarious and told me not to over think this and that she's just acting like a kid. It was definitely the first time I noticed her doing something like that, even though she acts silly all the time. Definitely a new one, maybe she did see it on a cartoon, or maybe it was from the 'im going to eat you up game' that we also do play. The thing that bothered me was that she was doing it on her own, behind my back and it didn't really look like 'play'. She stopped what she was doing to do that, and then continued on her way as if nothing had happened. But, maybe I shouldn't over analyze a 5 year olds behavior too closely, they are pretty silly at times lol..

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by runningmomofmany View Post
    Have to say made me laugh too it sounds like silliness, not agression. You know your daughter, sounds like she is a sweetie. Try to view the incident with dd's personality in mind, not as something out of character, but in.

    As an aside, I do believe we all have a "mean streak" it really is just a matter of how we act on it. And if she was feeling agressive/frustrated/mad, and the way she dealt with it was by making faces at a cat an pretending to eat it, I think she is doing ok.
    I like this thought, thank you!

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    Quote Originally Posted by runningmomofmany View Post
    As an aside, I do believe we all have a "mean streak" it really is just a matter of how we act on it. And if she was feeling agressive/frustrated/mad, and the way she dealt with it was by making faces at a cat an pretending to eat it, I think she is doing ok.
    I love this thought. Every once in a while one of my children has said something that has really startled me, and you are reminding me that this is true for all of us, but adults tend to develop filters and don't say or do them.

    I've read elsewhere people discussing how many of them have random thoughts of walking up to strangers and just pushing them into traffic or other various acts of complete mayhem. They wonder how we all aren't a chaotic lawless society of violence, but it's true, we do have these impulsive thoughts or actual angry and intentional aggressive thoughts but most people don't act on them.


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    Quote Originally Posted by runningmomofmany View Post
    Have to say made me laugh too it sounds like silliness, not agression. You know your daughter, sounds like she is a sweetie. Try to view the incident with dd's personality in mind, not as something out of character, but in.

    As an aside, I do believe we all have a "mean streak" it really is just a matter of how we act on it. And if she was feeling agressive/frustrated/mad, and the way she dealt with it was by making faces at a cat an pretending to eat it, I think she is doing ok.
    This is a good reminder for me, also.

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