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Thread: Is it right?

  1. #1

    Exclamation Is it right?

    Me and my boyfriend have recently gotten pregnant, and I'm worried about what our church will say. He has been a part of the church for a while, and I have recently joined. I am 15 and he is 17. It wasn't planned, and we weren't trying for it to happen. It was an accident, but we have help and are ready. Me and him do plan on marrying and, are in a committed relationship. But is it right? I'm concerned wether or not the church will accept our baby.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by AviJ View Post
    Me and my boyfriend have recently gotten pregnant, and I'm worried about what our church will say. He has been a part of the church for a while, and I have recently joined. I am 15 and he is 17. It wasn't planned, and we weren't trying for it to happen. It was an accident, but we have help and are ready. Me and him do plan on marrying and, are in a committed relationship. But is it right? I'm concerned wether or not the church will accept our baby.
    I don't know if "is it right" is the correct question. We know what the bible says about premarital relations, along with what it says about countless other activities/habits (divorce, affairs, lying, work, parenting, treatment of others). But a child is always welcomed in the eyes of God. I attend a pretty conservative church and this happened recently to a young couple; they did get married, they are still attending and are expecting their second child. I think the church needs to be a source of support since you will have some additional struggles being so young, and you should not shy away from the church at all.
    Good luck!

  3. #3
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    Hello again!

    The people in your church should support you and if they don't I'd find a new church. They might very well remind you as to what the Bible says about sex outside of marriage but they should still love and support you. As for whether a baby is right or wrong, a baby is always right in and of itself and deserves to be treated with love no matter how they were conceived.

    Since you both are so young, I would advise you to seek out a Pregnancy Crisis Center. They can help you with your pregnancy and also help you work through the tough road ahead for you both. I am glad that you both say you are ready and have help. Have you been open with your parents?
    Jessica (32) and Ryan (32). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
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  4. #4

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    I'd agree with the others and also encourage you to find a local Crisis Pregnancy Center! They are great at offering support and other resources to young moms (and couples) facing un planned pregnancies. Also I'd hope your church supports the baby, Supporting the baby is very different then supporting pre-marital sex (or any sinful behavior). If there was any lack of support in regards to the baby I'd encourage you to find a new church. Just remember that: We have all sinned and fall short of the Glory of God (Romans 3:23) so instead of dwelling on whether is was right, try to focus on what is right from now on! Pray and ask God for the direction He seeks for you and this new life now! Praying for you! I hope you find the support that you need.
    Last edited by caligirl07; 04-15-2013 at 12:29 PM.
    Katie~
    DD1 (7) DD2 (4) DS1 (22 months) Baby #4 EDD 7/13/14

  5. #5
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    The replies so far have been right on.
    A baby is ALWAYS a blessing, regardless of the circumstances it is born into. A Biblically based church will welcome a baby with open arms and will support and encourage you and the father in raising it. Your pastor will probably, and should, counsel you and your boyfriend to repent and refrain from being sexually active from now until you are married, if that is your plan. Remember that such counsel is out of love for you both. I would encourage you to really start praying and studying your Bible, and seeking God's will for your life. He loves you so much, and if you put your trust in Him, and follow Him, He will give you the wisdom and strength you and your little family need. Doing it His way is always better in the end, even if it is hard at first.

    I agree with the other ladies that finding a crisis pregnancy center would be a wonderful resource for you! They are full of people who work and volunteer their time there because they have a heart for people just like you. They will help and encourage you on this journey.

    Praying for you. Congratulations on your little baby bean!

  6. #6
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    There are many Churches that will accept you, your boyfriend, and your soon to be baby. A baby is a blessing. Good luck! I was a teen mother (19 teen) you can PM me anytime.



  7. #7

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    When I was in high school, my best friend got pregnant our senior year. She and I went to the same church and were heavily involved. She did not receive support from that church at all and stopped going after feeling mistreated and abandoned. Since then, she really hasn't gone to church. She still professes to be a believer, but I'm not always sure about that by the way she lives her life. I don't know her heart though so I can't be sure. The whole situation with that church definitely changed her. I would almost call her jaded, although it wasn't God who failed her, it was man. She came from a difficult home life and it was sad that some people in that church couldn't see past the pregnancy and minister to her.

    On the flip side, my current church (I now live across the country) is very supportive. There have been a few women who have gotten pregnant out of wedlock, and they have been fully supported. A baby is a blessing and a gift from God, no matter the circumstances. Now, although my current church supports the parents-to-be, it doesn't condone continual sex before marriage. The parents would receive counseling and be encouraged to abstain from sex until marriage. I've had one friend in this church who went to live with a church member just so she would no longer be living with her fiancÚ before marriage.

    So, I've seen it go both ways. If your current church can't see past the pregnancy out of wedlock thing, then find a church who can. They are out there
    Last edited by GatorGRITS; 05-07-2013 at 09:22 PM.
    Jen (33), DH (36), DS (3), Baby #2 EDD 10/21/14


    Lost a loved baby 9/2012

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