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Thread: Regrets?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    2,903

    Default Regrets?

    Curious for those who have later 1st tri or 2nd tri losses....do you regret not taking pictures of your baby? With my first loss (14weeks pass, HB stopped at 13w6d, genetics claims 12w development) I went through a mini labor and passed my tiny and perfect angel. The on call ob examined the baby with my husband and myself and let us say good bye. She didn't want us to put angel in our hands because they had placed him/her in a fluid. (The baby was literally the size of my palm, 3-4 inches I guess). I was so emotional and in shock that I never thought to take a picture, neither did DH or my mom. Yes, I have those u/s pictures and a small scrap book memorial I made but I always have flash back/dreams about my angel and I always wish I had an actual picture. Is that strange? Do you think it would have just made memories worse? How do you feel about your experience?
    waiting for our hearts to healBrittany(27)DH(39) DS-Tristan(4) DD-Brooke(3) DS-Preston(1)*my miracles*

    12/05/07 14wks, 10/10/08 9wks, 12/20/13 8wks, 05/06/14 10wks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    9,257

    Default



    That's not strange at all! I actually do have pics of my boys (my bff was a photographer for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep) and I absolutely cherish them . I don't get them out to look at them often because it is very painful, but I'm so incredibly thankful to have them.

    The only regret I have is not having the funeral home take care of things for us so we could have had a small plot to visit. Dh made little lined boxes for them and we buried them in our flower garden, but have since moved which breaks my heart . Other than that we had an outpouring of love, understanding, and support from the hospital staff who also took pics, made hand/foot prints on a card that said "It's a Boy!" with their names, delivery dates/times, weight/length all beautifully written in calligraphy just like they would have done had we had a living baby . They gave us a little hat for them and tiny crocheted blankets to wrap them in. Our pastor and his wife came and held the babies as did a good friend who was the director of our local Crisis Pregnancy Center at the time, my bff was there to take pics, and we received a few cards of condolences, but for the most part our friends/family were distant (I'm sure they just didn't know what to say or do...so they did nothing which hurt at the time, but it's okay now).

    It's tough, it really really is .

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    2,903

    Default

    That's so nice to have momentos I can see what you mean about the funeral home arrangement instead of hospital though.
    waiting for our hearts to healBrittany(27)DH(39) DS-Tristan(4) DD-Brooke(3) DS-Preston(1)*my miracles*

    12/05/07 14wks, 10/10/08 9wks, 12/20/13 8wks, 05/06/14 10wks

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