First the background: Due to religious reasons, we do not drink alcohol at all. In fact, it is really frowned upon to be in the company of people who are drinking or to eat at a table where alcohol is present. DH's family doesn't practice our religion, and while they don't drink very much (and his parents hardly drink at all), sometimes there is wine or beer served at extended family functions. We get along very well with DH's family, and they are generally very respectful of our religious practices and weird ways. They know we don't drink, but we've never made an issue of being around other people who are drinking, even though, in reality, it does make us very uncomfortable, especially more so since having kids.
So we are moving back to the US after living abroad 2 years, and DH's mother is excited about throwing a "welcome back" party at her house for us shortly after we get back. She also plans to invite members of my family, who do practice our religion and are strict about not drinking. Do you think it would be out of line for me to tell my MIL (either by email or phone) that we would really appreciate it if she could tell people that there would be no alcohol, by our request? (MIL doesn't usually serve it, but other family members often bring wine with them.) My thought is that, since it's a party being thrown in our honor (and especially since my relatives are also invited), it's reasonable for us to make this kind of request. My DH thinks that since it is not in our house, it's not our place to make such a request.
What do you think? Please be honest.