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Thread: Just thought I'd offer up a little update

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    Default Just thought I'd offer up a little update

    Things have been so crazy in this case lately. I really don't even know what's going on half the time. We have court next week and have been told that baby girl should be staying with us. On the upside to it all we have found out for sure that the petitioners (both of them) have decided not to pursue custody. The GAL mentioned it but I wasn't sure until last week. I finally heard from the CASA that neither one of them has done anything on their petitions since before the last court date which was 3 months ago.

    Monday we had a two hour visitation (to make up for all the visitations that were cancelled or rescheduled or missed) and the lady we were most concerned about didn't even show up. She only came to two visitations in 3 months and appears to have lost interest. The other lady, who is just as dear as can be, talked to me Monday. After saying hello she asked me if I wanted to adopt and if we'd thought about what we would do. I told her we absolutely would love to if it comes to that. That we love her dearly, but that our job right now is to also support her mother if we can. This is the lady that mom was living with. She said that mom has moved out, and that when she was there she was so scared of her she hid all of her butcher knives and checked on them periodically to make sure mom didn't find them. That really concerned me and I mentioned it to the SW just in case it became relevant. I've learned that DSS will tell us pretty much nothing but they seem to be working really hard behind the scenes.

    I was surprised to hear someone else mention adoption or permanency even though she can't do anything about it herself. She said that if it was up to her I would adopt. She said she just can't see her going home to mom safely and that she thinks she and the other lady are both too old to properly care for her. She said knowing what she knows of us that's what she'd like to see. It felt good to hear her say that even though I know it may not change anything.

    It looks like right now our biggest concern is what will happen with dad. I hope so bad (and maybe this is awful) that he just signs away his rights. If he doesn't then he has 5 months of back child support to pay, and I know he has other children so he's probably paying for them too. I just hope he can let her go. I do worry about his family though, if there's someone there. So we're still just taking it one day at a time. While I was greatly encouraged by what the GAL said I just won't believe it until I see it, hear it, and live it. So we'll see what happens Thursday.

    Oh and while this is going on we decided to buy a bigger house...and renovate it. Maybe we're nuts. Lol.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  2. #2

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    Thanks for the update. Still keeping my fingers crossed that you get to adopt baby girl.


  3. #3
    Join Date
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    I've been wondering how you guys have been doing. Sounds like things are working more toward your favor. Good luck at court next week!!
    And good luck and congratulations on your new house!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    So good to hear an update. Praying that baby girl gets to stay with you guys. What an emotional roller coaster you have been through, but I'm sure it was comforting to hear that from the GAL. Good luck on Thursday
    Autumn (me) Darren () Naheana () Mahikoa () La'i () & Mana'o ()

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Michigan
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    That is a great update Leah !!! Totally feeling encouraged for you!

    I think a reno is a great idea...distraction is good

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    It does sound like things are leaning in your favor. I do hope that this all works out for you!
    Jessica (32) and Ryan (32). Madelyn born August 5, 2009; Malachi born December 23, 2010 and Nathaniel born July 19, 2013. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
    Check out our business, JRSolutions.

  7. #7

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    Just stopping in to wish you luck! I hope everything keeps moving towards you getting to adopt this little lady! Thanks for the update.

    Jess

  8. #8

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    That's a great update!!! I hope it continues!!



  9. #9

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    Man, you must have nerves of steal! I know you don't feel like you do, but from where I'm sitting, you do. I'm glad so far everything looks positive for you adopting baby girl, that would be the best thing for her I believe. I pray that this moves quickly for you guys and I will keep you in my prayers
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Britney (me), DH (Mat), DD (Lily), DD (Gwyn)

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    Virginia
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    Thank you all so much! I'm not sure if we have nerves of steal (I wish we did) or if we're just ignoring what's going on a little bit lately. Having the new house renovation to focus on is a distraction for sure. We're also trying to sell our current house and have an appraisal this week and are trying to figure out how to make it ready to be shown without it also being obvious we've outgrown it. Lol. We're going to have to find somewhere to put some stuff. Hopefully we can close on the new house soon and put some stuff there. It's a lot, but it is a good distraction.

    I am getting more nervous about court, it being this week. The less we have to deal with DSS and visits the more we feel entirely separated from it and the more she feels like ours. Of course she feels like ours anyway, but we're trying not to let these feelings run wild. I'm worried about dad right now. I'm hoping since he'll have to pay back child support if he says he wants to work a case plan or whatever that he'll just relinquish. From what we know of him he's bad news...pretty sure he's got other kids he pays child support for too so I just hopes he sees she's good where she is and leaves it alone. Then we have his family to worry about though. When all of this starts going through my head I remind myself that the GAL is on our side and wants us to adopt her and that even the people who filed for custody have decided that's what's best for her. I just hope the courts agree. It'd be so nice if it does go to adoption and the process can be sped up but I doubt it'll go any faster even if they feel adoption is inevitable. Time flies when you have a baby though.

    And oh my goodness she is 5 months old! She is rolling back to tummy and tummy to back, sitting up for a second or two on her own (almost there, more control every day) and she's trying to crawl...we need to hurry up the house and get things done so this baby has room to move and safely!

    I'll update on Thursday when we know more from court. All the prayers and happy thoughts are very much appreciated!!!
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    14,465

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    Leah that all sounds really positive to me. I think that the other ladies wanted custody to keep the baby away from the mom but after seeing her with you and meeting you, realized that she is in a great place. I would also say that it's highly likely that the father will not want to pay the money and go through the process to get her and hopefully his family doesn't want to deal as well. I would think that if they did, they would have already petitioned for her.

    Congrats on the new house!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #12

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    Leah, this all sounds so promising. I'll keep praying things go in your favor for that sweet baby girl.
    Mommy to Lilliana (10/2006) & Summer (10/2011)!




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