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Thread: Pros and Cons of Homeschooling

  1. #1
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    Default Pros and Cons of Homeschooling

    Help me with this. I don't know anyone who homeschools their children. DD's best friend from school wont be returning next year, and they will be doing homeschool. They have children the exact same age as ours. My concern is this- the mother's children don't listen to her. She asks them to stop running, they run faster. Asks them to come here, they run away. They are good children, just not a lot of discipline. When I say "discipline", I don't mean spanking in general, I just mean the kids run wild. THEY are the ones who decide when, what, where, and who. Not the mother. (Not trying to cause a stirrup with discipline). But is this a realistic expectation that she will be able to homeschool her children?

    There are a few things over this past school year that led me to consider homeschooling. I just don't know if I'm fit for it. We are very structured at home. Breakfast together, lunch together, playtime, dinner together, etc. We are pretty strict parents, but have lots of fun with excursions, crafts, movie nights, etc. I just want my children to get the best education they can. Kids will be kids, and when they don't listen, I can't help but think will they take me seriously as their teacher?

    Another concern is social skills. Has anyone found their child to be more shy/reserved after homeschooling?

    Sorry for all the questions, I really have no idea what to expect. Thanks!
    Autumn (me) Darren () Naheana () Mahikoa () La'i () & Mana'o ()

  2. #2

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    Stalking!! ... We are considering homeschooling next year, and I'm pretty clueless about the whole thing...



  3. #3

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    I think there is a lot of variation from home to home as to what school looks like in the homeschooling world. If I could recommend a couple of books they would be these 2:

    http://www.amazon.com/Coloring-Outsi.../dp/0060192992
    and
    http://www.amazon.com/The-Well-Adjus.../dp/1600651070

    Among other things, they both touch on how the school environment doesn't actually always foster good social skills and there can actually be wonderful social benefits to homeschooling. It is a big decision but one I certainly am happy to have made. You will get a lot of opinions, some broad generalizations based on someone that somebody knows who home schooled but any parent with the desire, passion, and commitment to providing their child's education, is capable of doing it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I think there is a lot of variation from home to home as to what school looks like in the homeschooling world. If I could recommend a couple of books they would be these 2:

    http://www.amazon.com/Coloring-Outsi.../dp/0060192992
    and
    http://www.amazon.com/The-Well-Adjus.../dp/1600651070

    Among other things, they both touch on how the school environment doesn't actually always foster good social skills and there can actually be wonderful social benefits to homeschooling. It is a big decision but one I certainly am happy to have made. You will get a lot of opinions, some broad generalizations based on someone that somebody knows who home schooled but any parent with the desire, passion, and commitment to providing their child's education, is capable of doing it.
    Thank you!
    Autumn (me) Darren () Naheana () Mahikoa () La'i () & Mana'o ()

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by wannabmomof3 View Post
    Another concern is social skills. Has anyone found their child to be more shy/reserved after homeschooling?
    Other homeschool parents have mentioned to me how going to school did not make them any less shy. They were shy as a child, went to school (K-college), and as an adult they are still shy. Homeschooling can give a shy child the opportunity to gain confidence to explore and develop at their pace. They may still be shy as adults but it probably was not because they were homeschooled.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cricket View Post
    Other homeschool parents have mentioned to me how going to school did not make them any less shy. They were shy as a child, went to school (K-college), and as an adult they are still shy. Homeschooling can give a shy child the opportunity to gain confidence to explore and develop at their pace. They may still be shy as adults but it probably was not because they were homeschooled.
    Warning: I do not believe the benefits of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages of homeschooling. My cousin home schools her 3 children, and is very financially stable and takes them on long world-wide trips and is in a homeschooling group. Despite such out-of-the-box instruction, her children are just so socially awkward and cannot operate normally in social situations. Family functions with these children are a litmus test on how they can adjust around people that are familiar, and I see them struggle all the time.

    About shyness.....I have shy kids in my classroom who are confident, they just don't feel a need to be loud/outspoken/attention-seeking. For shy kids, would isolating them more provide them with coping skills to be able to maneuver in social situations???? Inevitably, if they are going to college or in the professional world, they will have to have the ability to comport themselves and communicate with many different types of people. IMHO, i think limiting their social experiences does a disservice. Giving them a range of experiences allows them to develop coping skills and mature in social ways...

    I very much respect everyone else's opinions about homeschooling, and i know there are a lot of people on APA who homeschool. I realize that there are so very many reasons why people choose to homeschool...

    However, I'm an educator with 2 masters degrees in 2 different areas of education (early childhood/childhood, and literacy birth-12th grade). I know there are some bad teachers out there, and I don't claim to be perfect, but I work very hard to prepare great lesson plans, materials, and a positive learning environment with the extensive training I've received in teachers college. I adore all of my students, and try my very best. I continue to go to workshops and professional development seminars (which most teachers are mandated to do anyway)....

    I get agitated when non-trained parents/caregivers think they can just slide right into a teaching role with no prior knowledge on how to teach, manage a curriculum, etc. I wouldn't be so cavalier to think I could step into someone else's profession with no formal training. It can be insulting for someone to think they can slide into my professional career and do as good a job, when I have worked so hard to learn how to teach well.

    Sorry, I really hope I didn't offend anyone. I know other areas have more homeschooling pockets than others for legitimate reasons (bad school systems, underfunded programs, lack of teacher preparedness, etc). I'm in New York, where teacher training, certifications, and regulations are tough to begin with.

    I hope if you are a homeschooling person, you can at least see my side of things....even just a little....
    Me (34), DH (36), DS1, DS2 & 1 Angel (1/17/2012)



  7. #7

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    You hope you don't offend anyone!

    I realize that your mind is made up, and you are infact threatened by the idea of homeschooling, but I'm going to respond anyway. I hope that it is beneficial to those looking for answers about homeschooling.

    Parenting is not a "profession". You don't need fancy degrees to know how to love and nuture your child. And by not sending our kids to government schools, we are not taking on a profession of teaching, we are just continuing our parenting. Homeschooling is a loving and intimate act with your child. You know them and how they learn, you don't need to manage curriculum, or have elaborate lesson plans because you are not trying to find creative ways to stuff an entire classroom of children into the same box. Could I walk into a large classroom full of children I don't know and manage to teach them all to the same learning objectives? No way! but I can know each of my own children well enough to provide them with the skills to be fully functional and productive adults.

    The shyness thing is ridiculous. It could only be a real argument if there were no shy adults who came out of government schools, if shyness was just something new from the generation of homeschoolers. and we all know that is not true. You said the litmus test is a family gathering. But you compare the children in the one homeschooling family you know against children you never see in your shyness "litmus test." I went to school with, and am related to loads of shy and socially awkward people, all products of government schools.

    School offers one social situation--interacting within a group of same aged peers. Children in schools are (conciously or not) trained that they should not interact with those of another age or even learning ability. They are kept away from society and "real world" situations for 6hrs a day 5days a week 13yrs of their life.This is not "real life" In real life you are forced to interact with people of all ages, races, genders, etc. In situations where public schooled and homeschooled kids come together, pubic schooled children tend to clump together with other kids they know who are their age, homeschoolers go up to introduce themselves to kids they don't know. Which of those actions is what adults should do in the same situation? (ironically in one of the more famous observation/reports describing that behavior the authors chose to see the homeschooled children introducing themselves and exchanging phone numbers as unfavorable because they were acting more like adults and not children, lol,)

    I personally see the litmus test as how my adults or near adults behave out in society. And so far I'm pleased with the results of homeschooling in my family.
    Last edited by runningmomofmany; 04-07-2013 at 11:18 AM.

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    I am not offended because I think that the whole "stepping into someone else's profession" argument is incorrect. I am not a nutritionist or a professional chef, yet I cook for my family every day. I am going to guess that most will agree that the average mom's homemade food is superior to the food produced by the professionals at McDonald's. I am not a nurse, yet I tend to my family when they get a stomach bug or a cold. I am not an accountant, yet I handle our family's finances. So along the same lines, I am not a college educated teacher and I do not pretend that I can go into a school and teach a classroom full of children I do not know. ..... But, I know my family better than anyone else and I love them more than anyone else (obviously except for God) and education is just part of the whole family system.

  9. #9

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    So teaching high school level math is just parenting??? That's so offensive.
    Me (34), DH (36), DS1, DS2 & 1 Angel (1/17/2012)



  10. #10

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    As an educator with a master's degree, I see nothing wrong with homeschooling. You cannot compare teaching a classroom full of children whom you dont know that well vs. your own children that you know better than anyone. So much of a professional's teacher's time is used to manage children and deal with paperwork. I can't imagine how much my children would learn in 6 hours if I didn't have to do all that, where I could focus specifically on *their* needs, tailoring instruction to 2 children vs. 30. Parents who homeschool (at least the ones I know) spend hours learning about curriculum and designing lessons for their children. The homeschool children I know at church are not at all socially awkward. The children you know who are socially awkward may have been socially awkward in a regular school, too. I went to public school, and college, and grad school, and I am still socially awkward at times. School did nothing at all to change that. My oldest is only 4, and I *can* tell the difference between his social skills and the ones who attend traditional preschool. My son is polite and kind, and his "friends" are not. The social argument is invalid. The social environment at school is a main reason why I am actually pro-homeschooling. Schools do not focus on teaching children how to manage social situations with their peers, so what they learn is not positive social behavior.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by i.<3.cheesysmiles View Post
    As an educator with a master's degree, I see nothing wrong with homeschooling. You cannot compare teaching a classroom full of children whom you dont know that well vs. your own children that you know better than anyone. So much of a professional's teacher's time is used to manage children and deal with paperwork. I can't imagine how much my children would learn in 6 hours if I didn't have to do all that, where I could focus specifically on *their* needs, tailoring instruction to 2 children vs. 30. Parents who homeschool (at least the ones I know) spend hours learning about curriculum and designing lessons for their children. The homeschool children I know at church are not at all socially awkward. The children you know who are socially awkward may have been socially awkward in a regular school, too. I went to public school, and college, and grad school, and I am still socially awkward at times. School did nothing at all to change that. My oldest is only 4, and I *can* tell the difference between his social skills and the ones who attend traditional preschool. My son is polite and kind, and his "friends" are not. The social argument is invalid. The social environment at school is a main reason why I am actually pro-homeschooling. Schools do not focus on teaching children how to manage social situations with their peers, so what they learn is not positive social behavior.
    I see what all of you are saying about knowing your children and being able to cater to them. And if you have the time and money, that's great for you.

    I don't spend the majority of my time pushing papers around and managing behavior. I teach content. To suggest that most of my time is wasted in minutiae is a put-down.

    People really seem to have a low opinion of teachers, and I find that really hurtful. We work hard with advanced degrees, and especially those of us in private, parochial, or charter schools take a lower wage because we also have the added value of character development and discipline in our midst. (I teach 9th grade religion and leadership at an all-girls catholic high school, btw).

    i just happen to see the benefits of traditional schooling as being positive, and there was no one else who was advocating it. Yes, some of our schools today are atrocious! i will give you that.

    We are all entitled to our own opinions, and I'm sure those of you who homeschool do a great job. But there are some cases out there of "epic fail" and perhaps I've seen a few of them.
    Last edited by babykenny; 04-07-2013 at 12:21 PM.
    Me (34), DH (36), DS1, DS2 & 1 Angel (1/17/2012)



  12. #12

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    My background: I was home schooled my whole life along with my 3 siblings (2 of whom went to public high school). I am married to a middle school educator/school principal, and considering home schooling my own children.

    My short answer for everyone who asks of me has always been "Home schooling was the perfect experience for me, but it's not for every child or every home".

    In my childhood, and now adulthood - I have meet kids and adults schooled in various ways/systems (public, private, relaxed home school, strict home school, etc), and I cannot conclude that one way is better than the other for all types of people/families. We are all born with a distinct personality and way of learning. We are all born into various types of homes, with different types of parents, and with varying amounts of offerings in the way of exposure and life experiences. Too many variables...with too many different results.

    I know super kind, smart, well adjusted people from all walks of life! Not every "weird" family or socially awkward person that I have met as been home schooled...but some of them have!

    My best advice (and the point where I am currently), is to not judge/base your decision on isolated cases/families/students (both home schooled and not), but to just keep reading good books, reach out to the local home school groups, and look into all school options for your child.

    Be open, honest and brave about it!

    I value greatly the work, skills, and education that people like babykenny (and my own husband) have (and do) put into their profession, and understand completely that in some cases, with the right teacher, and the right school - that would be better for some children. But I am not one to blindly assume that that will be the case each and every time.
    Last edited by zekedancin; 04-07-2013 at 12:48 PM.



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    Quote Originally Posted by zekedancin View Post
    My background: I was home schooled my whole life along with my 3 siblings (2 of whom went to public high school). I am married to a middle school educator/school principal, and considering home schooling my own children.

    My short answer for everyone who asks of me has always been "Home schooling was the perfect experience for me, but it's not for every child or every home".

    In my childhood, and now adulthood - I have meet kids and adults schooled in various ways/systems (public, private, relaxed home school, strict home school, etc), and I cannot conclude that one way is better than the other for all types of people/families. We are all born with a distinct personality and way of learning. We are all born into various types of homes, with different types of parents, and with varying amounts of offerings in the way of exposure and life experiences. Too many variables...with too many different results.

    I know super kind, smart, well adjusted people from all walks of life! Not every "weird" family or socially awkward person that I have met as been home schooled...but some of them have!

    My best advice (and the point where I am currently), is to not judge/base your decision on isolated cases/families/students (both home schooled and not), but to just keep reading good books, reach out to the local home school groups, and look into all school options for your child.

    Be open, honest and brave about it!

    I value greatly the work, skills, and education that people like babykenny (and my own husband) have (and do) put into their profession, and understand completely that in some cases, with the right teacher, and the right school - that would be better for some children. But I am not one to blindly assume that that will be the case each and every time.

  14. #14

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    Yes, and I apologize for coming on strong. I'm really not a jerk, I promise!

    I think there are stereotypes in all directions. Do what is best for you and your family...just please don't put teachers down. We work really hard, and some of us absolutely love our jobs. Homeschooling will never be a choice I will follow, but that doesn't mean it isn't the right choice for someone else.

    I will also concede that there are some great online options now for supplementing courses, which are available.

    I think my cousin screwing up her kids so badly colored my concept of homeschooling. She has the world at her fingertips, and has made lots of poor life choices other than her kids educations.

    peace to all.
    Last edited by babykenny; 04-07-2013 at 01:48 PM.
    Me (34), DH (36), DS1, DS2 & 1 Angel (1/17/2012)



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    Quote Originally Posted by impatient View Post
    I am not offended because I think that the whole "stepping into someone else's profession" argument is incorrect. I am not a nutritionist or a professional chef, yet I cook for my family every day. I am going to guess that most will agree that the average mom's homemade food is superior to the food produced by the professionals at McDonald's. I am not a nurse, yet I tend to my family when they get a stomach bug or a cold. I am not an accountant, yet I handle our family's finances. So along the same lines, I am not a college educated teacher and I do not pretend that I can go into a school and teach a classroom full of children I do not know. ..... But, I know my family better than anyone else and I love them more than anyone else (obviously except for God) and education is just part of the whole family system.
    Very well stated.

    Quote Originally Posted by babykenny View Post
    So teaching high school level math is just parenting??? That's so offensive.
    First, I agree with you that there are some people homeschooling who should not be. It is not for everyone. It takes a lot of time and dedication and perseverance. Second, I know there are some fantastic public/private school teachers out there. It sounds like you have a passion for what you do, and I applaud that. Lord knows the political roller-coaster that government funded education is does not make it easy on teachers. It is wonderful that you are working so hard to make a difference in the lives of the students you teach. I mean that sincerely.

    However, I'm really not sure why you take such personal offense to homeschooling. As was stated before, most of us don't claim to be experts in childhood education, we only claim to be experts on our OWN children. We know each child's personality and what kind of learning environment and approach they need to succeed to their maximum potential. It seems you are highly offended that a lowly mother could possibly teach a child upper level subject matter. However, it is obviously being done, and successfully. Most homeschoolers I know are experts at homeschooling. Meaning they attend homeschooling conferences, are involved in homeschooling coops, are well versed in homeschool laws, are constantly researching curriculum and/or resources to teach subjects, and sit down with their children and learn the subject matter right along side them. Homeschoolers are not isolationists. They do not just teach to the best of their memory and hope its good enough. They have an abundance of resources they make use of.

    People can have all the opinions they want, but the studies are coming in and from everything I've read, homeschooling is proving itself to be a major success. Homeschooled students have, on average, higher ACT scores, higher GPA averages (in both HS and continuing into college) and have a higher rate of college graduation. link As for social skills, one study noted:

    Of course, the big knock on homeschool students is that they never develop social skills since their classrooms are often their kitchen tables and their mothers are often their teachers. Cogan, however, noted that another homeschool study that looked at more than 7,300 adults, who had been homeschooled, determined that the homeschool graduates were more likely to have voted and participated in community service than other adults.
    This year Stanford University accepted 26% of the 35 homeschoolers who applied--nearly double its overall acceptance rate. Twenty-three of this fall's 572 freshmen at Wheaton College in Illinois were homeschooled, and their SAT scores average 58 points higher than those of the overall class... Most colleges take a close look at standardized-test scores when weighing homeschool applications and find that homeschoolers outperform their school-educated peers. This year homeschoolers scored an average of 1,100 on the SAT--a full 81 points above the national average--and 22.8 on the ACT, compared with the national average of 21.link
    As I said, its not for everyone, and that is absolutely ok. But there is no way to assert that it is not successful, or that by its nature it is a detriment to the families and children who are involved in it. Statistically speaking, it is a wonderful option.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by babykenny View Post
    Yes, and I apologize for coming on strong. I'm really not a jerk, I promise!

    I think there are stereotypes in all directions. Do what is best for you and your family...just please don't put teachers down. We work really hard, and some of us absolutely love our jobs. Homeschooling will never be a choice I will follow, but that doesn't mean it isn't the right choice for someone else.

    I will also concede that there are some great online options now for supplementing courses, which are available.

    I think my cousin screwing up her kids so badly colored my concept of homeschooling. She has the world at her fingertips, and has made lots of poor life choices other than her kids educations.

    peace to all.
    Posted my last one before I saw this. It is hard when your first and biggest impression is a really poor example. Like I said, though, it sounds like you are a fantastic teacher. I'm sure your students appreciate it... or if they don't now, they will!

  17. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by babykenny View Post
    I see what all of you are saying about knowing your children and being able to cater to them. And if you have the time and money, that's great for you.

    I don't spend the majority of my time pushing papers around and managing behavior. I teach content. To suggest that most of my time is wasted in minutiae is a put-down.

    People really seem to have a low opinion of teachers, and I find that really hurtful. We work hard with advanced degrees, and especially those of us in private, parochial, or charter schools take a lower wage because we also have the added value of character development and discipline in our midst. (I teach 9th grade religion and leadership at an all-girls catholic high school, btw).

    i just happen to see the benefits of traditional schooling as being positive, and there was no one else who was advocating it. Yes, some of our schools today are atrocious! i will give you that.

    We are all entitled to our own opinions, and I'm sure those of you who homeschool do a great job. But there are some cases out there of "epic fail" and perhaps I've seen a few of them.
    I typed out a response to this, but I guess it didn't post, and now I don't remember everything I said. I did not mean to suggest that you were wasting your time, just in my experience, a lot of time was wasted with things like breaking up a fight, getting a class to settle down, even things like having to take the kids to the bathroom, lunch, gym, music, etc. The, we would have useless special programs that brought no benefit to my children. When I talked about paperwork, I meant the endless grading, report cards, forms to fill for special ed, documentation of behavioral problems and students being referred to special ed. All those hours spent without the children that could have been spent forming better lessons. I taught elementary in some tough schools where every child was accepted, and there were lots of behavioral issues in the school. My class was good, but it was still a room of 30 6- or 11-year olds. We did have situations with guns and sexual assault - stuff you don't worry about when homeschooling. I also met many women who should not be teaching, just as there are parents who should not be homeschooling.

    I don't live in the district I taught, so we will be sending our children to public schools, but we will leave the door open for homeschooling in the future. I have to say as a public school teacher, there are things that go on in a public school that I don't necessarily think are great for my children and others - nothing against the teachers who work very hard against obstacles beyond their control.

  18. #18

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    Thanks for seeing me as a person who cares, not a monster!

    Anything has the possibility for success if one puts their heart into it.
    Me (34), DH (36), DS1, DS2 & 1 Angel (1/17/2012)



  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by babykenny View Post
    Thanks for seeing me as a person who cares, not a monster!

    Anything has the possibility for success if one puts their heart into it.
    You really do not need to feel threatened by homeschoolers, even when they sucessfully teach their hischoolers upper level math. It does not invalidate your education nor your profession. Not one of us is claiming to be able to do your job or classroom teaching better than you can. And unless there is a huge change in societal thinking, there will always be a need for teachers, especially great teachers.

    but I ask this with sincerity, if you were only going to teach highschool math to 6 children over the course of 30yrs, would you need 2 masters degrees to do it?

    Yes, teaching highschool math is an extension of parenting. Just like you teach your child anything. You know your child's learning styles and you apply the same techniques that helped them learn to count or add to algrebra and calculus. And if you can't figure it out you find a resource to help. But generally, by the time a homeschooler is in highschool, they have learned how to learn, and are pretty self directed.

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by wannabmomof3 View Post
    Help me with this. I don't know anyone who homeschools their children. DD's best friend from school wont be returning next year, and they will be doing homeschool. They have children the exact same age as ours. My concern is this- the mother's children don't listen to her. She asks them to stop running, they run faster. Asks them to come here, they run away. They are good children, just not a lot of discipline. When I say "discipline", I don't mean spanking in general, I just mean the kids run wild. THEY are the ones who decide when, what, where, and who. Not the mother. (Not trying to cause a stirrup with discipline). But is this a realistic expectation that she will be able to homeschool her children?

    There are a few things over this past school year that led me to consider homeschooling. I just don't know if I'm fit for it. We are very structured at home. Breakfast together, lunch together, playtime, dinner together, etc. We are pretty strict parents, but have lots of fun with excursions, crafts, movie nights, etc. I just want my children to get the best education they can. Kids will be kids, and when they don't listen, I can't help but think will they take me seriously as their teacher?

    Another concern is social skills. Has anyone found their child to be more shy/reserved after homeschooling?

    Sorry for all the questions, I really have no idea what to expect. Thanks!
    It is a big decision. There are pros and cons as with everything else in life. I personally see it as a combination of several factors, which for me are

    1. Finances. Can we afford me staying home for the next 18 years or is it better to work part time while the kids are in school? By finances, I mean paying the bills, saving some, putting in enough for retirement, putting in a little bit for college although not everyone feels the same about college. However, bills and retirement are a must IMO

    2. Quality of local public schools - how big are the classes, how good are the teachers and so on

    3. My personality and my personal needs - am I person who loves to be alone or am I a person who would be happy to be home with her kids all the time with little breaks here and there; am I a person who thinks having 2/3 kids is a lot (like my DH or several friends who think that dealing with 2 kids is so much work); do I get tired easily of kids, do I have learning disability that would prevent me from being a good teacher (obviously not every learning disability would), do I feel comfortable with high school math (I personally feel that no high school subject would be difficult for me to teach to my kids) etc. I think the teaching parent's personality and limits are so very important since s/he will be the one taking the brunt of teaching the kids

    4. My kids - are the special needs, what is their personality, how they learn best, can I accommodate that. (For example, my older one has developmental delays and no matter how much I tried to teach him speech and OT, I could not. He needed SLP and OT and in general he learns much better with peers in preschool than home. That can very well change though. My younger one is like a sponge at home, very outgoing and social, learns best from his mama and is very advanced. Homeschooling would be perfect for him.)

    These are the big ones for me. FWIW, we have decided to try the public schools first (mostly because of DS1) but we are definitely open to homeschooling down the road.

    Also, remember that you can try homeschooling and go to public school if it does not work for you. It is not a marriage or life/death decision. I know people whose kids went to public schools for some time, then homeschooled and vice versa. Situations change and so do people. If you really want to give it a try and you feel it will fit your family, do not feel intimidated because many people have had great success with it and many people have used it at one point or another. There is no rule written or otherwise that says you cannot change your mind down the road.
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  21. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by babykenny View Post
    Thanks for seeing me as a person who cares, not a monster!

    Anything has the possibility for success if one puts their heart into it.
    It is really difficult to see something beneficial when you have only seen bad examples. And there are bad examples with everything out there. I personally think that no every person is cut out to homeschool and I know of one local church that pushes homeschooling really hard without letting people fully consider the pros and cons of that decision. I do not agree that every mother can homeschool and I have particular examples in mind - one mom with chronic depression that does not respond fully to meds, another one with learning disability and a third one with anger issues. But that's a whole different topic. (That church now has a new pastor and I think that he is already taking a different approach to homeschooling, not pushing it so hard but being realistic.) So I have seen bad examples myself. However, I have seen good examples too and by far the good examples are much more than the bad but I can imagine what my disposition would be had I only or mostly seen bad examples.

    Obviously not every church pushes homeschooling and not every homeschooler is religious. It is just that the 3 bad examples that I know are from one local church where IMO homeschooling was unnecessarily and too zealously pushed...
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    To the OP...the only con for us has come up recently. We have a ds who is athletically talented but he is not allowed to participate in high school athletics.

    The laws vary from state-to-state regarding participation in extra-curricular activities by homeschoolers. Our state leaves it up to the districts to decide and our district allows for zero participation of any school activities by home schoolers.

    Home educating was our decision though so we don't blame the public school...it's most certainly their legal perogative (lol, but I made certain that it was first...talked to MI's athletic director at the capitol, called our district's athletic director twice, and even put in a call to our legal representation through HSLDA) .

    It's going to take *a lot* of time and finances on our part but we have located a team...it's a 2hr round trip to the facility but if that's what it takes we're willing to do it. In the end I think we're not going to look back on it as a "con" but as a stepping stone to something even better .

    I mentioned HSLDA...completely recommend you become a member and their website is full of helpful info www.hslda.org
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






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    Quote Originally Posted by tanyachap View Post
    It is really difficult to see something beneficial when you have only seen bad examples. And there are bad examples with everything out there. I personally think that no every person is cut out to homeschool and I know of one local church that pushes homeschooling really hard without letting people fully consider the pros and cons of that decision. I do not agree that every mother can homeschool and I have particular examples in mind - one mom with chronic depression that does not respond fully to meds, another one with learning disability and a third one with anger issues. But that's a whole different topic. (That church now has a new pastor and I think that he is already taking a different approach to homeschooling, not pushing it so hard but being realistic.) So I have seen bad examples myself. However, I have seen good examples too and by far the good examples are much more than the bad but I can imagine what my disposition would be had I only or mostly seen bad examples.

    Obviously not every church pushes homeschooling and not every homeschooler is religious. It is just that the 3 bad examples that I know are from one local church where IMO homeschooling was unnecessarily and too zealously pushed...
    Agreed...I've seen a lot of not-so-great outcomes in families who attended churches that really pushed for homeschooling but those churches had an awful lot more going on than just that . There are several groups in particular that are quite zealous...I've seen families break down because of it, so very very sad . One word CULT!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






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    Quote Originally Posted by runningmomofmany View Post
    You really do not need to feel threatened by homeschoolers, even when they sucessfully teach their hischoolers upper level math. It does not invalidate your education nor your profession. Not one of us is claiming to be able to do your job or classroom teaching better than you can. And unless there is a huge change in societal thinking, there will always be a need for teachers, especially great teachers.

    but I ask this with sincerity, if you were only going to teach highschool math to 6 children over the course of 30yrs, would you need 2 masters degrees to do it?

    Yes, teaching highschool math is an extension of parenting. Just like you teach your child anything. You know your child's learning styles and you apply the same techniques that helped them learn to count or add to algrebra and calculus. And if you can't figure it out you find a resource to help. But generally, by the time a homeschooler is in highschool, they have learned how to learn, and are pretty self directed.
    I'm not threatened by homeschoolers in the least.
    The original post asked for pros AND cons. I was simply providing the other side of things.

    I have 2 masters (and the student loans to go with them, to boot!) because after my 1st I only had to take 5 more classes to add the other degree.

    I don't teach math, it was just an example.

    I'm a literacy specialist.

    Most high school students ask clarifying questions to be able to fully understand advanced concepts. There is a concept of learning that says students need review to fully grasp content over the long term.

    it seems very lonely to me to constantly teach yourself and review material independently, especially if you are a social/interpersonal learner. (I'm referring to Howard Gardner's multiple intelligence theory, which is taught to most teachers-in-training).

    Also, if I was homeschooling a high school student, there are definitely areas that I could not confidently provide scaffolding to my child for. Advanced concepts in chemistry would be one, and I would hate to see my child struggle to teach themselves things I could not fully explain. Just like high school teachers specialize in their content areas, I would venture to guess not every homeschooling parent knows each content area equally well to be a free-standing resource in every subject. The good thing is that Internet resources have improved, but as a general rule, I personally would not ask my child to teach himself/herself everything once they get to high school. That's a heavy burden of instructional responsibility placed on the learner.

    Learning styles gets dicey, if you have knowledge of Howard Gardner and his multiple intelligence theories. Not every learning style is supported in every learning environment all the time.

    I can see where you can make a case of tailored instruction to the student though.

    Quote Originally Posted by tanyachap View Post
    It is really difficult to see something beneficial when you have only seen bad examples. And there are bad examples with everything out there. I personally think that no every person is cut out to homeschool and I know of one local church that pushes homeschooling really hard without letting people fully consider the pros and cons of that decision. I do not agree that every mother can homeschool and I have particular examples in mind - one mom with chronic depression that does not respond fully to meds, another one with learning disability and a third one with anger issues. But that's a whole different topic. (That church now has a new pastor and I think that he is already taking a different approach to homeschooling, not pushing it so hard but being realistic.) So I have seen bad examples myself. However, I have seen good examples too and by far the good examples are much more than the bad but I can imagine what my disposition would be had I only or mostly seen bad examples.

    Obviously not every church pushes homeschooling and not every homeschooler is religious. It is just that the 3 bad examples that I know are from one local church where IMO homeschooling was unnecessarily and too zealously pushed...
    Yes...this!!!
    Last edited by babykenny; 04-07-2013 at 04:42 PM.
    Me (34), DH (36), DS1, DS2 & 1 Angel (1/17/2012)



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    Quote Originally Posted by kellyowens View Post
    To the OP...the only con for us has come up recently. We have a ds who is athletically talented but he is not allowed to participate in high school athletics.

    The laws vary from state-to-state regarding participation in extra-curricular activities by homeschoolers. Our state leaves it up to the districts to decide and our district allows for zero participation of any school activities by home schoolers.

    Home educating was our decision though so we don't blame the public school...it's most certainly their legal perogative (lol, but I made certain that it was first...talked to MI's athletic director at the capitol, called our district's athletic director twice, and even put in a call to our legal representation through HSLDA) .

    It's going to take *a lot* of time and finances on our part but we have located a team...it's a 2hr round trip to the facility but if that's what it takes we're willing to do it. In the end I think we're not going to look back on it as a "con" but as a stepping stone to something even better .

    I mentioned HSLDA...completely recommend you become a member and their website is full of helpful info www.hslda.org
    Sorry your district is that way. You'd think that since homeschoolers save taxpayers BILLIONS of dollars per year, plus saving in free lunch programs and the like, plus helping to decrease teacher/student ratios, and STILL paying taxes that contribute to the public education fund, that they would be happy to welcome homeschooled students into a few extracurricular activities.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KC's wifey View Post
    Sorry your district is that way. You'd think that since homeschoolers save taxpayers BILLIONS of dollars per year, plus saving in free lunch programs and the like, plus helping to decrease teacher/student ratios, and STILL paying taxes that contribute to the public education fund, that they would be happy to welcome homeschooled students into a few extracurricular activities.
    When you pay your taxes, they go to the state government, and a certain amount is allotted to the state's Department of Education. Each school district receives a certain amount of money per student enrolled that comes from the state Department of Education. This amount can vary based on the number of students in the state and the amount received in taxes. In our state, the Department of Ed has reduced the amount of funding per student regularly over the last five years, leaving schools with a smaller and smaller budget. The district does not receive funding any for homeschooled students as they are not enrolled and do not attend classes. Allowing them to participate in things like athletics costs the district money for which they are not reimbursed, as the taxes are paid to the state and not to the school district. So although you are right that those parents are paying taxes to support education, by choosing to out of public education they have removed their child's access to that funding which would otherwise be there for them.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by babykenny View Post
    Most high school students ask clarifying questions to be able to fully understand advanced concepts. There is a concept of learning that says students need review to fully grasp content over the long term.

    it seems very lonely to me to constantly teach yourself and review material independently, especially if you are a social/interpersonal learner. (I'm referring to Howard Gardner's multiple intelligence theory, which is taught to most teachers-in-training).

    Also, if I was homeschooling a high school student, there are definitely areas that I could not confidently provide scaffolding to my child for. Advanced concepts in chemistry would be one, and I would hate to see my child struggle to teach themselves things I could not fully explain. Just like high school teachers specialize in their content areas, I would venture to guess not every homeschooling parent knows each content area equally well to be a free-standing resource in every subject. The good thing is that Internet resources have improved, but as a general rule, I personally would not ask my child to teach himself/herself everything once they get to high school. That's a heavy burden of instructional responsibility placed on the learner.

    Learning styles gets dicey, if you have knowledge of Howard Gardner and his multiple intelligence theories. Not every learning style is supported in every learning environment all the time.

    I can see where you can make a case of tailored instruction to the student though.

    I can see where you are coming from, and I definitely agree that the learning style of the student should be taken into consideration. Some people just homeschool until high school. But I do want to point out that homeschool isn't typically as lonely as many people think it is. For example, I've started getting involved in a local homeschool coop that meets once a week. I think we have around 150 students of all ages. I helped teach ASL classes, which will count for a foreign language (I am an ASL Interpreter). The older/advanced students were able to take advantage of learning from mothers and fathers who have Masters and PHDs in a plethora of areas. They were the ones teachings subjects like chemistry and higher math classes. So not only are the students in a classroom setting with peers, but they are learning from adults well educated in the subjects they are teaching. Do I think that is necessary for a successful homeschool? No. I don't. But its certainly something I intend to take advantage of since I have the opportunity in my area.

    Also, there are so many ways to homeschool. For example, like Kelly was talking about earlier, my little sister is doing online public school. She has an online class of peers and an online teacher. They go on field trips and discuss classroom topics in chat form online. But of course she has the advantages of being at home during her schooling. She goes at her own pace, which is usually pretty quick! She does attend extracurricular classes at the brick and mortar school for music and dance. She is brilliant at the harp and spends a lot of time volunteering her talent all over. She is also involved in the Congressional Award, and is active in church activities. My parents have to be mindful to turn down many invites and activities, because it is so easy to take on too much! She does not feel lonely or isolated at all, and has PLENTY of opportunities to socialize and learn from a variety of people, not just peers her age. Btw, both of my parents are public educators, and while I was public schooled, they decided this was a better approach, and have stated they wish this had been available when me and my other sisters were young. So do I, honestly.

    I just think its a shame that many people have such a misunderstanding of homeschooling. Its definitely not for everyone, but it is also not what many people think it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    When you pay your taxes, they go to the state government, and a certain amount is allotted to the state's Department of Education. Each school district receives a certain amount of money per student enrolled that comes from the state Department of Education. This amount can vary based on the number of students in the state and the amount received in taxes. In our state, the Department of Ed has reduced the amount of funding per student regularly over the last five years, leaving schools with a smaller and smaller budget. The district does not receive funding any for homeschooled students as they are not enrolled and do not attend classes. Allowing them to participate in things like athletics costs the district money for which they are not reimbursed, as the taxes are paid to the state and not to the school district. So although you are right that those parents are paying taxes to support education, by choosing to out of public education they have removed their child's access to that funding which would otherwise be there for them.
    Ahh, gotcha. Thank you for explaining that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    When you pay your taxes, they go to the state government, and a certain amount is allotted to the state's Department of Education. Each school district receives a certain amount of money per student enrolled that comes from the state Department of Education. This amount can vary based on the number of students in the state and the amount received in taxes. In our state, the Department of Ed has reduced the amount of funding per student regularly over the last five years, leaving schools with a smaller and smaller budget. The district does not receive funding any for homeschooled students as they are not enrolled and do not attend classes. Allowing them to participate in things like athletics costs the district money for which they are not reimbursed, as the taxes are paid to the state and not to the school district. So although you are right that those parents are paying taxes to support education, by choosing to out of public education they have removed their child's access to that funding which would otherwise be there for them.
    Local schools do get funding for K12 online students...the same as if they were in the classroom but those students still are not allowed to participate in that school's extracurricular activities. I only know because I asked...the student is required to be "on campus full-time" in my district. If it costs to have my child participate in athletics then why not make home schoolers pay-to-play? We would be more than happy to do it!

    And actually, we are voting next week on a proposal in our district. They need a new elementary building and are raising property taxes because of it so regardless of where the funds stop off first I still feel the pinch. Again, it's my choice and their perogative so I try to refrain from complaining, lol .
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






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    Quote Originally Posted by kellyowens View Post
    Local schools do get funding for K12 online students.
    Do they really? I wonder if that varies by state. I didn't know that.

    I don't see why they couldn't let you pay to play, though. You would think they might be glad to make a little money where they can. I'm sure they have a rationale for it, though. Maybe liability? Who knows.

    And personally, I don't have kids and may not be able to ... but my taxes go to education, kids or no kids. I pay for lots of things I personally hope I will never use, such as prisons or Medicaid. Still, having those programs in place benefits me as a citizen whether I take part in them or not. Same for public school.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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